• What is my label...?

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    Chris82 [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been more bi-curious than what guys would normally admit... I'm fine with that and stepped up for a strap-on session which I loved - WoW!

    I'm not exactly sure how to express the turn-on factor for me but it's part act and part role reversal... It's just kink on a stick! So I took the next step, up to 2nd base, with a guy - some parts were great and some weren't... I've tried a few times since then and I now I like smooth faced skinny not muscley guys but struggled and haven't gone further than 1 (ok 3) licks of the lolli-pop...

    Kind off caught in the middle... reverted back to the strap-on and was like the bike I was meant to ride :-) But struggle with in the flesh situations - pardon the pun but can't medle with the guys gold medal.

    However, and studiply honest - my fantasy is being with a lady who forces me to embrace the lollipop taste wise and then size wise... For some reason I think I could do that - just unsure about there that puts me in today's Label Mandatory Society!?1

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you need to be a little less criptic, If I'm right in understanding you you are trying the gay thing, but are not too sure about using your manhood as the weppon of choice and have used a strapon on him, or is it him on you. is liking the lolly pop giving oral sex on the guy?

    Not sure just what your last paragraph means, except the lable thing. I've been down that alley and decided there isn't one to fit me at all, so anyone that wants to try give me one thats their problem, not mine, you don't need a label, they are only for people that want to push you into a place they want you to be in, so so ,wrong.

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Chris, first, you don,t have to be afraid to use the real terms when speaking about sex. We are all adults here and we can all understand ourselves better when we use the same language. And there souldn't be anything to be uncomfortable about.

    I agree with alone4ever where he says that you don't have to put a label on yourself. You are who you are and are tracted to who you are and that's all. Plus sometimes lables can seem bigger than what they are and scare you or cause you to push yourself into fitting one. Don't worry about that, it's all ok, whether you are bi, guay, bi-ciruous, hetero, pan,. etc.

    However, I do understand why you are wondering. I've asked myself similar questions in the past. I didn't care what I was, but I was thinking "there is a name for every gender/sexuality, there mut be one that fits me". I'm stil not sure I have found it and it's ok.

    Now the important thing here, is whether or not you liked your experience, what you did like about it and what you didn't. Did you like it better than your past experiences? do you want to experiment further? There are the questions that will help you know yourself better, but also put a label on yourself if that's what you really want.

    (isn't that funny A4E that we feel concerned by almost all the same threads)

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Told you Mamz, you are a young female version of me. pity we can't switch bodies for a while, it would do us both good. that only happens in films worst luck.

    Chris does need to expain what he is feeling without the coy terms and in more detail if you feel able Chris. then we could answer you better

    1459329010
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Welcome Chris!

    Forget trying to pigeon-hole yourself with a label and just focus on enjoying yourself and doing the things you enjoy.

    I spent my whole life being curious about sex with guys. Everyone wonders what sex would be like with someone of the same gender. Some are just more curious about it than others. My problem was that I knew I wanted to be penetrated, but my confusion stemmed from not really fancying guys. I'm able to objectively look at men and think 'yep, he is more attractive than him' etc; but it's extremely rare for me to look at a guy and think 'Wow! Hot!'. I've slept with a guy, but it was more a journey of self discovery. I am just naturally attracted to women and the female form.

    I regularly indulge in strap-on play with my OH and in doing so; sex "feels right"; I am naturally submissive. Yes I still have fantasies involving being f*cked by guys, but they're nearly always faceless. I just want the c*ck; not what's attached to it. So, my sex life is a 50/50 mix of M/F and F/M sex (there's give and take in every relationship). And I'm perfectly happy being open with friends about my desires; but I don't attach a label to it.

    Whether I'm Bi, Heteroflexible, or Straight but just kinky.... none of it matters. All that matters is I'm having consensual, safe, fun, and that should be your priority too.

    You'll find we're a very open and welcoming bunch here :)

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    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
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    Leave it at bi curious or full on bi seeing as you have gone there with a man ?

    Leave it at that and own it 👍 Be proud and greedy 😄😜

    1459333816
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi and welcome to the forums.

    You don't need a label.....you're you ! I'm not sure how to label myself if I'm being honest. I've been married and faithful to my husband for 25 gears but before that I had sex with both other men and women and enjoyed both. I guess that's what most people would call bi so that's what I say I am.

    To be honest though....I'm just me. x

    1459335932
    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    Not much to add to Sex Squid's 'you just do you' sentiment but I thought I'd throw my two cents in. I identify as bisexual and love that term for my identity. I'm fairly active in the LGBTQ community and know people describing the same sexual preferences (I'm pretty much 50/50 and have relationships with any gender) who discuss themselves as pansexual. In fact, I've had people try to push that label onto me even when I'm happy with the bi term. So even in the 'labelled' community this is a totally grey area. Bi-curious is one of those terms I personally dislike as it suggests that there is a chance you'll grow out of it. Perhaps 'open minded straight person' is good enough. My advice? Don't worry about it. If you want a label work out what makes you feel the best about yourself but don't push it. And remember, intercourse and sexual arousal isn't the same as sexuality and self identity.x

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    bex1213 wrote:

    [...] And remember, intercourse and sexual arousal isn't the same as sexuality and self identity.x

    This ^^

    1459373988
    Caliente [sign in to see picture]
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    Chris82 - I agree with the others, you don't need to put one label yourself if you don't feel they apply. I'm very similar to you, I think, only female. Other people call me bi, although I don't know if that really fits. I think it's a spectrum and I'm definitely somewhere between heterosexual and bisexual, but I don't really worry about it. It's nobody's business but mine :)

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe you just don't have a label :) and that's fine, you don't need a label to just be yourself. I agree with caliente in that a lot of stuff is on a spectrum... if you want a vague label you're probably bi-curious, since you appear to still be undecided/unable to decipher how you feel yet :)

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    There's a difference between guys who like anal play and guys who like other guys performing that anal play.

    I guess since your fantasy is ultimately to have a female with a strap on, you are simply a guy who likes pegging (strap on anal sex). If you want a label; open minded, kinky, awesome, fun...don't force yourself into bisexuality through the bi-curious label though. It is entirely possible to be straight and enjoy pegging, bi-curious is more than just wanting anal play. My partner, for example, enjoys anal penetration but is 100% straight, no attraction to guys whatsoever and no enjoyment from having a male penetrate him. I wouldn't worry about trying to push yourself into liking guys to validate your passion for anal sex, since it sounds like you didn't feel very attracted to the guys you've tried it with. Which to me means either you aren't attracted to men, or you simply weren't attracted to the men you were with.

    Also remember it's totally normal and common for straight people to like gay porn/have gay fantasies. There are many people who, like what you are describing, have a 'type' preference in their own gender and enjoy thinking about/watching porn of that type, but when placed in a real life situation abruptly realise it's all fantasy and not actually their sexuality. This is where the whole bi-curious definition can come into play; you're curious about same sex relations, you try it out in real life, you figure out if you like it (bisexual) or not (straight). Either way, it's still ok to have the same fantasies you had before and it's definitely still okay to enjoy anal play.

    All in all I guess what I'm trying to say is don't feel like you have to say you're bi/gay just because you like anal play or you watch same sex porn. You're just you :)

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    There's a difference between guys who like anal play and guys who like other guys performing that anal play.

    I guess since your fantasy is ultimately to have a female with a strap on, you are simply a guy who likes pegging (strap on anal sex). If you want a label; open minded, kinky, awesome, fun...don't force yourself into bisexuality through the bi-curious label though. It is entirely possible to be straight and enjoy pegging, bi-curious is more than just wanting anal play. My partner, for example, enjoys anal penetration but is 100% straight, no attraction to guys whatsoever and no enjoyment from having a male penetrate him. I wouldn't worry about trying to push yourself into liking guys to validate your passion for anal sex, since it sounds like you didn't feel very attracted to the guys you've tried it with. Which to me means either you aren't attracted to men, or you simply weren't attracted to the men you were with.

    Also remember it's totally normal and common for straight people to like gay porn/have gay fantasies. There are many people who, like what you are describing, have a 'type' preference in their own gender and enjoy thinking about/watching porn of that type, but when placed in a real life situation abruptly realise it's all fantasy and not actually their sexuality. This is where the whole bi-curious definition can come into play; you're curious about same sex relations, you try it out in real life, you figure out if you like it (bisexual) or not (straight). Either way, it's still ok to have the same fantasies you had before and it's definitely still okay to enjoy anal play.

    All in all I guess what I'm trying to say is don't feel like you have to say you're bi/gay just because you like anal play or you watch same sex porn. You're just you :)

    Perfectly worded, wish I was as able to put it so eloquently! X
    1459505344
    ffauxx [sign in to see picture]
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    hi there!

    I agree with everyone who said that you don't need to have a label if you don't feel you really fit into it, and also that wanting to be fucked doesn't make you bi or gay or anything.

    However I would maybe want to say that being bi, the first times being with a girl were super hard for me. The first years I was sexually active I was only seeing guys so the first time I was attracted to a girl and started being intimate with her I felt I wasn't sure what I'm supposed to do. It's like, after all those years flirting and having sex only with men, I took a *role* or a performance on how flirt works and how sex works and then, being with a woman, I had to discover that all over again. So I understand feeling awkward and weird if you are used to being only with women, it's not only a different body but sometimes it's a whole different approach.

    I'd say take your time and if you have sex again with a guy maybe comunicate better with him beforehand on what you like, what you think you might like etc. it's not bad to take it slowly.

    but you don't have to do it either, because as everybody said, and i agree, wanting to be fucked doesn't mean you want to be fucked by a guy.

    I wanted also to add that bisexuality doesn't have to mean men and women, nor does it have to be 'attracted equally to two genders' I am bisexual but currently only dating women and non binary people, even though I am attracted to guys too sometimes. so I think bisexuality is more of an umbrella term, so if you feel nice using it, I say do it. you don't have to pass any test or aything:p for me, it was empowering to use it, but every person is different.

    good luck with all that! take care and have fun

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    TJme63 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Chris,

    As everyone has said on here, you don't need a label...I am not being dismissive of your question when I say this.

    whatever and whoever you like is up to you. My "label" is TJme63. The "me" part is important because it includes anything any anybody I choose.

    your label is Chris so that includes all your facets; you need nothing else to describe you to anybody else!

    simply enjoy everything you do and try.

    have fun

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