• Overcoming performance issues

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah it's hard to do since i'm always studying and on here when I take brakes :P

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    Hope it was enough...

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks era

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    Up to you, but I just wish I could help some more. :)

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    You've already been very helpful you know

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    There are limits to what I am willing to share on here, due to the public nature and copyright policy of this forum. That's a choice of mine. :)

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I understand and respect that. I probably shouldn't share that much info either but I don't really care people knowing about my story or lovehoney using it.

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I'll be waiting for when you want to open more :)

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    mamz wrote:

    I'll be waiting for when you want to open more :)

    Ok then, I'll just cancel that other thingy.

    1461527653
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't? I want to talk about that with you that's what it ment. I'm waiting for you to come to me now

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I guess we just don't understand each other right now because we aren't explicit enough

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    mamz wrote:

    I guess we just don't understand each other right now because we aren't explicit enough

    Yep, might be lost in translation between us speaking a "foreign" language. :)

    I have not yet done anything, but I did notice it is bound to expire by the 27th. Have not received anything though on there... :/ Should have I?

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes twice. Maybe chek elsewere? Another place that could be linked with the accunt perhaps? I hope we do understand each other this time

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    I checked in my account, and it is also supposed to send me an email when there's something up. Maybe they need to moderate first? No clue. If they do, they are pretty fast, so we should probably know by tomorrow.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Mamz

    I Try to keep an eye out for your thread, but I have been trying to do other things.

    it's good that things are still moving in the right direction for you both. Your OH sounds like me, in that during PIV sex I get far more from knowing that I'm giving her pleasure, it feels so good to do that for her and to see and hear her respond. In this, giving really is creating a deep emotional bond, or connection. As you know being pegged is where I take my pleasure, but it is still good to know that it turns her on so much. Or it did.

    It's just a shame she is not with me anymore, It wasn't love for her, I always knew she would move on, I didn't think I loved her; but I miss her so much I don't even feel much like pleasuring myself any more. I so want to be in love, it hurts to feel so lost and empty. I'm glad you have such a great guy, it makes me still have some hope. Sorry I'm moaning on your thread.

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Come here and do it as much as you want.

    A thing I leraned when I got with my bf is that it is always possible. After I was with me ex (which was bad to me) I didn't believed that any men would be worth it and I thought they were all as bad. Only a few months after we broke up I knew I was wrong as I was getting to know my BF better. What I want to say is that of course there is hope.

    Also, am I wrong to say that you seamed to like her pretty much but you are afraid of love and refrained from feeling love for anyone?

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes Mamz, love scares me, when I fell for my first, I felt like I belong to her, she was everything to me, litterally my ownly reason for breathing. But i wasn't able to stop myself, it's like trying to put down a bottle of ice cold water, when you have just walked out of a desert.I had been alone so long it was like that, only love not water, but all I got is used. I was in my twenties, she was my first everything.

    Then one in my 40's did the same kind of thing.

    More recently I figured I would try having FWB,s but I think I need to be in love with someone to have sex. Having sex with no love while I had Miss FWB was maybe a mistake for me, because it's left me feeling confused. And what if I had let myself love her, I would be in a mess again. And she wasn't the first FWB.

    But now I feel so scared to let anyone in, I don't feel attracted to women physically anymore anyway, and if I did get with someone now, I would wonder what I could feel for them. What if I can't love someone any more, I want it so much, but I can't get used anymore, I won't; not and let myself love them.

    I keep going through this, and each time I say never again, and each time I get hurt, and each time I end up feeling lost and empty; all used up.

    You are right I don't think I have ever really let myself truely love someone since my first betrayed me.

    Since that thead about the guy who was having trouble with cock rings because he thought he was small at 6 inches girth, I have realised why I only get women after sex. my face is not that attractive, And I never understood the comments and looks I get, aimed below my waist. especially when I was in hospital. I thought I was small too, and i'm bigger than that guy, and I thought that my F'sWB were just trying to make me feel better, because I don't feel too attractive.

    I know that all women are like that, thanks to what I hear on here, but i do seem to be a magnet for them in the real world. now I know how women feel when they get eyed up simply for their atributes. I never thought I would ever say that.

    It makes me laugh, as it does'nt really work that well anyway, it's like an inflatable dildo that keep going down. So I have performance issues, on top of all that.

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I want to give you some love. You are capable of love, here's a proof: you and me, we both love each other (without wanting to sound weird). I love you, and I know you love me too. It's not the same kind of love, of course, but it's still love and it's still valuable. There is nothing more to be implied to it so it's not even a dangerous kind of love like the one you are afraid of.

    I think you may want to let go on that idea of love that you have. I am sure you could benefit from loving someone without anything else (no sex involved or anything). Sex is something that you can love without, but love is not. You can get really close to someone without having sex with them, and then, love start to take place. It was this way with my boryfriend too. That way, if you feel very close to someone and love them and know they love you back, but aren't having sex, I think you have a chance to really know the person. You can know that person well and you can know deep inside if you can trust her/him. When real love is implied, you can feel it (espacially when it's in a healty relationship).

    when I first got with my bf, we weren't having sex. We did have sex normally for a while, but after that I realised that I wasn't happy with that and things started being more and more complicated. All this time, he was there with me. He does care and still wants to have sex, but his love for me is stil more important than that. He has told me a few times that he would be willing to stay with me if we were to never have sex again if that was what would make me happy (all he cares about is that I am happy). This experience's been really difficult, as you know, but it also has its benefits. It really helped me know that it is true love and that he is a good guy, with me for the good reasons, and that he would do anything for me. If it wasn't of the situation, I don't know if I would've realised it (you know I still have a few trust issue and close to no faith in the goodness of men).

    This type of relationship also feels safe. It is not (as well as any relationship) because when you are really close to someone there is always a risk, but the biggest risk for you is not there. Don't seek for what may seem a normal relationship, seek for love. Love is everywhere. Try to feel your love for every person that's close to you (if there is any, I know life has been harsh on you), feel love for life, feel love for yourself. Fill up with that feeling of love and then, you'll maybe be able to feel romantic love for someone, without any harm.

    his is not for everyone, and I know it may sound too philosophical, but I was feeling that sharing you my view on this could maybe help you a little.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes I do Love you Mamz. With you it was like going back in time and helping myself when I was young, and the fact that you are a woman made it more so, because of how I feel about being a man. SO it's like loving myself, if that doesn't sound weird.

    When I was in my 40's I had a sort of friend, we had know each other for years. Then one day she let me know that she wanted us to be more. We dated a couple times, then she said she wanted to have sex, I told her that I didn't want to have sex until we were in love. She said ok but kept pushing me, every time we met she wanted to know if I was in love with her yet. she said that she was in love with me after only a few weeks. She said that sex was very important to her, and I just caved in; I was scared to loose her.

    She was not very knowledgeable about sex, and I showed her things she had never even imagined. I created my own nymphomaniac, without even having PIV sex with her, as I couldn't manage it. Then it became all about her sex life, she wouldn't even give me a massage in return for me pleasuring her for several hours. We never left the house together, she cancelled all the dates I planned, to go drinking with her mates, or to just so I could finger her.

    This is the only kind of love I have ever had back from anyone. And the worst part is that I know what real love should be, I have given it to those people. Even so called friends and family use me.

    I'm scared it will be the same again, if I try; thats why I tried miss FWB at least she found a way to give me back everything I gave to her, in terms of sex. so even if it was only sex it was mutual; and dare I say, even loving.

    It's hard to keep hope alive, but my young other self, (you) has a good love, and I am happy. I have tears now so it's hard to see what i'm tping

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    alone4ever wrote:

    Yes I do Love you Mamz. With you it was like going back in time and helping myself when I was young, and the fact that you are a woman made it more so, because of how I feel about being a man. SO it's like loving myself, if that doesn't sound weird.

    When I was in my 40's I had a sort of friend, we had know each other for years. Then one day she let me know that she wanted us to be more. We dated a couple times, then she said she wanted to have sex, I told her that I didn't want to have sex until we were in love. She said ok but kept pushing me, every time we met she wanted to know if I was in love with her yet. she said that she was in love with me after only a few weeks. She said that sex was very important to her, and I just caved in; I was scared to loose her.

    She was not very knowledgeable about sex, and I showed her things she had never even imagined. I created my own nymphomaniac, without even having PIV sex with her, as I couldn't manage it. Then it became all about her sex life, she wouldn't even give me a massage in return for me pleasuring her for several hours. We never left the house together, she cancelled all the dates I planned, to go drinking with her mates, or to just so I could finger her.

    This is the only kind of love I have ever had back from anyone. And the worst part is that I know what real love should be, I have given it to those people. Even so called friends and family use me.

    I'm scared it will be the same again, if I try; thats why I tried miss FWB at least she found a way to give me back everything I gave to her, in terms of sex. so even if it was only sex it was mutual; and dare I say, even loving.

    It's hard to keep hope alive, but my young other self, (you) has a good love, and I am happy. I have tears now so it's hard to see what i'm tping

    - > That makes perfect sens to me.

    -> I can relate to that too. I know how it feels and how it's hard to hold on to your conviction when the other keeps pressuring you. I now understand that someone acting like that is not a great loss. Someone who starts in a relationship by pressuring you will never be a good partner to start something serious and healthy, so you better let her go at that moment.

    -> I am not sure you can even call this love. Being used and abused by people isn't love. You don't diserve that kind of love, you diserve the right kind. I know that when you have only known that, it's easier to accept it because even if you know it could be better, you don't believe in it (since it never happened to you). But if you keep your convictions your gonna be able to keep your standards high untill you meet the right person. When this happens, you'll find that waiting was worth it. Plus, the more you experience bad relationship, the more hurt you become and the more difficult it's gonna be to overcome this.

    Just keep in mind that I was like that too before I met the right guy. We are not that different you and me so I am sure you'll experience the same and then you'll relate to everything I just told you. And if I could do it, you can do it too. Please, take care of yourself and don't rush into any relationship that you know with your deepest feelings is bad (because yes, you know it). Be happy for yourself (and not your yonger self), cause you'll know better one day.

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