• Overcoming performance issues

    1459130527
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't worry Era I do and I will continue to do so. I'm feeling a bit tired too (and it's only 9PM here :P) I guess i'll concentrate on studies and think about how to intriduce all this in our relashionship later.

    Good night y'all

    1459133243
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    Hi alone4ever, it's been a while.

    I feel a little bit less focussed on how the guy feels than the last time we talked. A little time has passed and for almost a week I have had absolutely no interest in sex. Then, one time as we were cuddling and talking about all this, Something happened and we both felt better (something made us understand each other's reaction to the situation better), and we strated feeling turned on by the idea of trying to make things good. It simply failed and neither of us came, but it got me concerned about my ability to come through oral. Since then I'm not thinking about the men's pleasure because I feel I have bigger issues (not being able to orgasm with my partner at all anymore). But yes, the thing that's preventing me from being able to enjoy sex is still the same; i'm afraid I am not gonna feel satisfied.

    How can one give up satisfaction? It is not something brought by kissing or holding hands

    Really is kissing and intimate contact like holding hands, not satisfing; it is for me, kissing for me is so satisfying, it makes me feel like I'm melting into the other person; makes my knees shake. Because thats how I like it to make me feel so it does. You have said to me in the past "why should I have to use my mind during sex, I shouldn't have to", but you do, don't you?; you use every ounce of mental effort to convince your self, that your are going to fail, that it won't satisfiy you.

    Turn this all back round and try what I asked you to do then. What is satifaction anyway; it is accepting what you have is enough whether it's a dime or a million dollars. if you let it be enough when it's a dime, then when it's a hundred dollar bill thats great too, cause next time it may be a dime again. So I'm not saying give up satisfaction, but be satisfied with every thing you get at the time you get it; that doesn't mean that you shouldn't keep trying for more.

    Edison was told to give up trying to make an electric light bulb, as he had failed 1000 times to do this; his response was that he wasn't giving up, he was simply satisfied that that he had enjoyed finding 1000 ways not to make a light bulb.

    Stop being afraid of not being satisfied, be satisfied with every litlle thing; and let them add up. Then in time the bigger things will come. It's not like you aren't both trying, you are in this together, let him cum if he wants hes not trying to use you, get satisfaction from the fact that you made him cum, and anything else. I'm saying this again but hey reinforcment never hurts.

    The First time I was pegged, I didn't orgasm, I had using a dildo. But I felt more alive than at any moment up to that point; I didn't care that there was no orgasm, she had been in me, and I felt conected to her in a way I had never felt from anything else; I felt dizzy with emotion for a week, just from having felt such intamacy.

    It's there waiting for you Manz, all you have to do is let go of all these; I can't, how can I, it's impposible. Great that you like the idea of burning them, then write out the new positive ones and pin them up all over the house. You have to do this Mamz, for me, I need to see you succeed in this, then all my wasted years I give back to you, for you to live them for me; please!!!!

    1459135208
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I'd like to be able not to feel down when he comes and I don't, but it's just that way. I don,t control it it's a deep feeling.

    I agree with the first part. I just don't know who we can focus on the satisfaction of love if one of us still has orgasms. I think it's just gonna end up being about performance again. I don't want to keep him from having his (except by penetration, because if I don't feel like it and I give him an orgasm that way i'm giving myself for him to use).

    I don't know if I ever told you about it but after a big depressed period, when I finally got out of it, we decided that we would only focus on love and what we shared and the moment, and no need for penetration. the only difference with what you are saying is that we decided on having a 2:1 orgasm ratio (I hve two for every single one of his). It went so well that the first time we did cuddle we both wanted sex really bad. I was really enjoying myself and was close to come (which wasn't even the goal). He was sure that I was having an orgasm so he let himself have one so we could enjoy having simultaneous orgasms, but it didn't happen because I was not coming. After that, I started foussing on orgasms (and he started having even more trouble not ejaculating so quickly) and it led to where we are today. I don't know how we could get there again but without ending up focussing on performance again.

    1459135950
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    VABarnes wrote:

    Can I ask if you've considered taking yourself out of the equation? It sounds funny but hopefully it'll make sense if I explain.

    It sounds to me like you have built up resentment or men being able to have orgasim easily, by default even if you haven't realised it you are resentful of him because of his ability to orgasm. So take you away from that.

    Try having a session focused on him. It sounds utterly mad but your thinking too much.

    You are thinking too much about you and your lack of orgasim. So take it off the table. Be selfish in an unselfish way. You mentioned you have a fantasy about BDSM. Well have you considered taking the reigns with that? Why not surprise him with a blindfold. Explore his body and learn how to get turned on mentally by what you are doing to him? But set limit make the rule that you will not get touched for an orgasim. Tell him you get pleasure from watching his pleasure at what you do to him. It'll relax him and secure his knowledge that intimacy is okay and stop him from feeling self conscious about his ability to please you. With that it opens a few doors. For one if he enjoyed the control being taken away you have the ability to slip it in on your direction. "You know what I did to you with the blindfold... I want you to do it to me." Removing his fear of hurting you because youve shown him its pleasureable. Or on the flip side you might find you enjoyed the control and if he's willing to do it again you have the ability to tell him how to touch you in a different context, he'll be rewarded for finding the right spots, you get to tell him as the controller and not the girlfriend.

    Its amazing what a little mental shift can do.

    I think if you can relax him it'll relax yourself.

    On the flip side of that after giving him a his only session you can have a you only session taking away the resentment of his orgasim. Then you can use what you have both learnt about your own and each others body's in a joint session.

    Just my thoughts.

    Its how my husband and I got over something similar in our sex life. (I also was abused) our sex life was fantastic after working on it. But what I learnt was key was being able to appreciate his orgasim and not hate it. We now have a whole new problem to work on. (He has asthma) but for six years these tricks were what kept us going.

    Wooww. Sorry I didn't see your post in the first place. I like that idea because it's something that I would never have thought of. What is great about it is the fact that there can be no expectations that way. the idea scares me, but if we realise it and succeed, maybe it could help me overcome other fears that I have. In fact it is realllyyyy scary, but maybe it's the kind of shock that I need to get things moving.

    1459136002
    Sweet Cherries [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry era, i cant edit it. I dont know how, it never lets me.

    Sorry mods, bad day. Feel awful now. Very sorry. Please excuse me.

    1459136058
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Sweet Cherries wrote:

    Sorry era, i cant edit it. I dont know how, it never lets me.

    Sorry mods, bad day. Feel awful now. Very sorry. Please excuse me.

    You can only edit posts up to 5 minutes after writing them

    1459157463

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    Sweet Cherries wrote:

    Sorry era, i cant edit it. I dont know how, it never lets me.

    Sorry mods, bad day. Feel awful now. Very sorry. Please excuse me.

    Sorry, I didn't want to make you feel bad!!! I'm sure they will understand and edit it for you. Editing is for just 5 minutes as mamz said, and it can be tricky on a mobile... :( Mine does let me, but it's a pain in the you-know-what nonetheless because of the tiny size the editing window come up in on my screen.
    1459160190
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey there mamz. How are you feeling today? You've got some great advice and ideas to adapt to suit you and possibly try out on here from the other forum members.
    Sorry I haven't been much help to you at all.


    There was a couple of things I wanted to mention. You said you were uncomfortable with the thought of watching porn together. I don't mean to pry but is that because of the type of porn you like to watch? Sometimes we can shock ourselves by what stimulates us being something we would never dream of doing in real life. I know when I read erotica there is some scenarios that I felt slightly disgusted at myself for feeling so turned on by them but then I thought that there was nothing wrong with letting my imagination run wild and enjoying these feelings in safety knowing that in real life I would never, ever feel mentally comfortable or put myself in those situations. We all like different things and I feel as long as it's not illegal and everyone is consenting then it's fine.


    Fantasies are another thing that can add a lot to our relationships. There is many scenarios you can act out with toys without having to add in other people. I personally like the thought of the sensation of a three way but not the thought of being with someone else so we got a suction cup dildo to enjoy the fantasy.

    Lastly sometimes it's a mental block that stops us from enjoying sex and giving yourself permission to relax and enjoy it can free your mind a bit. I 've always thought sex is a big deal and used to think for a long time it was just for making babies not for pleasure. Once I realised that sex is for fun and enjoyment it set me free to experiment with different positions, adding toys, dressing up and to try to get more satisfaction out of it without thinking it was in anyway wrong or dirty to do so. I'm much happier now after finally letting go of my hang ups but it did take me a long time to get here.

    Hope you feel much better about this soon.

    1459161140
    VABarnes [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm so glad I helped been a little. Its difficult and will be for a long time but the best thing you can do is what you are doing and that's not give up.

    What I will say is do it for you. You'll only get better if you are doing it for yourself and not someone else. Its going to sound cheesy but we are all in charge of our own happiness everything else is a bonus.

    On a none sexual note how are you in general? With everyday things. I still suffer panic attacks myself. And for my everyday life I've found that meditation really helps. There are some fantastic couples meditation out there too if you think something like that might help with everyday none sexualized intimacy. Me and my husband laughed all the way through the firs one we tried, even that helped as it was just pure enjoyment of the time we were spending together.

    1459168568
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Sweet Cherries wrote:

    Sorry era, i cant edit it. I dont know how, it never lets me.

    Sorry mods, bad day. Feel awful now. Very sorry. Please excuse me.

    I don't think you did anything wrong.

    You were refering to your own experience, of what happened to you, what was done to you; I believe that the rule refers to making references to other children, which is illegal, not just a rule.

    Your post remains.

    1459169261
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    And the rule refers to talking about your personal sexual activities under 18, abuse is not this.

    1459171393

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    alone4ever wrote:

    And the rule refers to talking about your personal sexual activities under 18, abuse is not this.

    There have been posts and threads cancelled of people speaking about their own childhood abuses, so yes, mods take the '18 rule' in the strictest possible way on here. I don't agree they don't allow one to speak about abuse either, but I've seen it happen... I don't think they are unforgiving though, so Sweet Cherries, you shouldn't worry at all, it was an honest and innocent mistake and I'm sure they will fix it for you, do not worry about it! I'm sorry if my warning came off as harsh, I meant it in good faith!
    1459185873
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Imh95 : Hi, i'm feeling ok today. Yes i've recieved a lot of great advices expect now I don't know where to start :P

    About porn, it's true that I'm a bit ashamed of what I like, and I know it doesn't reflect what I actually want. Porn is a bit of a taboo in our relationship becaure I'm against it. the problem is that I watch it, and I watch things that are part of why I don't like the idea of porn. Plus I know I should try to avoid it because it just conditions me to think even more that sex is only for men and that women are there to be used my them.

    I'm glad to hear that you got rid of your own mental block and noy enjoy sex. I'm afraid in my case it's not that I don't give myself permission to relax and enjoy, it's that I want to enjoy it too much and get sad because I don't.

    Thanks for your support.

    VABarnes, thanks. I actually learned to engage in sex for myself and not for others, and to say no when I'm not into something. The only downside is that my partner often percieves it as selfish, in addition with the fact that I want to feel pleasure and feel bad if he has more than I do.

    I'm doing ok in general. Just came out of a thougher phase, when I was thinking deeply (I still do but it's not as intense anymore) that sex is only enjoyable for guys and that a vagina is not made to feel any pleasure but to procure some to a penis. This caused me difficulties with school too as I had trouble concentrating and not thinking about this. I am now late and trying to catch up for my upcoming exams. I'm not that depressed anymore, it's ben a while since i've had a panic attack or been irritable. I guess I could say that i'm getting better. Therapy helps too. Thanks for asking.

    I've tried meditation in the past and it helped, but I am never able to meditate only by myself. When you say "there are some fantastic couples meditation out there", do you mean like a bounch of medtations or like meditation for couples? I've never heard of meditation for couples but if there is such a thing I'd be interested in trying it.

    1459226741
    VABarnes [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm so glad to hear you are doing well in general for me sex is an act but life is for living. Sometimes I get so caught up in sex being essential I forget that the little everyday essential things are much more important.

    And by meditation for couples I do mean meditations for both of you to do together. I brought some great books on it from Amazon there is also a great one for tantric massage I think will help you. But I'll copy the theory on that out for you once I've had a few hours sleep (its 4:36am)

    In the mean time if you type into YouTube guided couples meditation there are some nice short beginners ones that are good to get you started.

    On the vaginal sensitivity issue. And I can't believe I forgot to mention this in my previous post, but and it's a little difficult but try doing ten to twenty minutes a day of yoga with kegal balls in. Lol I felt rediculous doing it at first and it was a little difficult but it really helped. I still can't orgasim most of the time out of vaginal only but my god it does feel better after doing that. Plus's the added flexibility doesn't hurt either. ;-)

    Sorry if this is coming across as total new ageie hogwash I'm just sharing the things that I've found helps (I won't say helped as you never 100% get over it) me enjoy life and sex to the best of my ability.

    1459228692
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I understand because sex is something that takes a big place on my mind too. When things don't work out, I think about it so often and I can't concentrate on anything else.

    The couples meditation sounds really intereseting. I'll take a look at it when I have some time, but what exactly are the benefits of it?

    I'm not sure I would try to do yoga with kegel balls. I had to have physiotherapy so I could learn to relax my perineal muscles because they where a bit hypertonic and sex did hurt. I still have some stretching to do sometimes because sex hurts when I get too tensed up. I have a pair of jiggle balls and I find them really easy to hold in but I haven't used them in a while. Because my muscles where always too contracted, they didn't have their normal strenght and endurance so I had kegel to do on top of that. I think I could replace them with the balls and still do the stretching (I've stopped doing both since a few months), that way I could have a healthier perineum and maybe experience better sex.

    I'm glad this helps you, but may I ask how do you do still living with that? Knowing I may not fully recover from this is one of my biggest fears. I don't want to get better and cope with this, I want to fully recover and have a normal and healty sex life :(

    1459237275
    VABarnes [sign in to see picture]
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    For me its a case of acceptance. For me and I can't stress this enough that this is just my experience, its not necessarily going to be the same for you, but just knowing its okay to not be okay helps tremendously.

    I have a very understanding and loving husband and that helps. I know I'm never going to be just like everyone else who has always had an easy sex life. So I just decided one day that that's okay. I don't need to have an easy sex life, I don't need to have what everyone else has, I'm different and its perfectly okay to be different. I just work at it harder. My husband and I constantly change what we do and how we do it. When things get hard we stop having inter course and mutual mastubate. We talk all the time. I have a freek out and that's okay too. I don't have to have someone elses sex life to be happy I just need to be okay with the one I have. Sometimes if that means we only use toys for a few months I refuse to feel guilty. He's getting pleasure and so am I and its in a way that isn't hurting anything. Then we go through periods of being crazy active Sexualy.

    Like I said for me Its all about acceptance, I'm never going to be 100% okay, and that's okay. Once you've truly accepted that you start to see the silver lining. I kinda just said to myself one day "fine so I'm never going to have easy sex like everyone else but I'm going to damd well make sure I have fun trying everything to make the sex life I do have better." Then we started experimenting, what toys did I like what didn't I?

    I have never had an orgasim at all until my husband not even by myself. So I took that and made that an achievement rather than focusing on the negative that I must be broken if I can't orgasim at anything else. Then worked slowly on it until I could make myself get off. Even if it was 1 in 10 times that was still 1 in ten times more than I had before.

    Its all about just being okay. Knowing that even when you aren't feeling okay one day, know its temporary and even if it takes along time you will be again.

    And above all never stop trying! Even when it feels hopeless! By trying even when you don't feel it it can reassure your partner that you won't give up and reassure yourself that even if you don't orgasim you've just been intimate and close to a person who you love and who loves you. Slowly by being okay with that everything just clicks and boom it creaps up on you and your enjoying it again.

    Try a little bit of everything. And remember to laugh! Sometimes it makes it easier by taking the serious edge off it.

    I brought glow in the dark condoms and he came bursting in the room wearing it shouting "WHO YOU GONNA CALL?" It was funny and took the pressure off. I couldn't think about anything but how hilarious he was and had my first O in a month because I was so distracted I wasn't thinking about how I probably wasn't going too!

    Enjoy each moment for what it is and decide not to care about the one that comes after it!

    In a nut shell I'm okay because I decide to be even when its a rough patch.

    1459237375
    Sweet Cherries [sign in to see picture]
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    You didn't upset me era, I felt guilty for breaking LoveHoney's rules, felt like I was taking advantage. Plus I worried if I had upset someone, idk. Nothing to be sorry for. You were trying to look out for me. 💖💖

    My posts say time to edit Nan.. It just never works.. Very strange.

    Feeling any better mamz?

    Can I ask? Does it upset you often throughout the day, or is it moe background than that, or does it fluctuate? Has it always been a focus of yours? Are you a take it or leave it person when it comes to sex? Does the issue come up only in relationships or always?

    Cause I've mainly been of the leave it, and thought I wasn't enjoying sex through some fault of my own. I would get desires and get turned on from kissing etc but the actual act, I've been lucky to experience a tingle. I count it as an absolute win to even enjoy the sensation, which is odd because the idea of it is hugely exciting.

    I think it's exciting that you've even thought thisii out while you're still young. You could work on this and hopefully sort it while still having your peak years ahead, so many years to look forward to with enjoyment.

    1459281396
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    THank you VABarnes, you are so courageous.

    Sweet cherries, It does upset me throughout the day, but it fluctuates at the same time. It's like constant thoughts, but the thoughts themselves change depending on how it is going.

    It hasn't been a focus untill I realised that there was something wrong. Before that I just went with the flow, putting myself to use and not feeling any pleasure, thinking it was all normal. When I realised that something was wrong, I just fell deeper and deeper and let myself sink in that sadness it brought me. I've been trying everything since then in order to start enjoying sex and overcoming everyother issue that came with my sitution, but so far i've only learned to say no and to experience painless sex, but still not that pleasurable. I'm also learning to have sex because I want to, to have sex for myself, and not for the other because he wants to. Oh and i've also learned to trust my partner. I know now that he wants what's good for me and doesn't want to take anything from me, he only wants to give to me.

    I'm not sure I understand the take it of leave it part of the question.

    I've had a period too where I was happy about every little step. I was thinking that the most beautiful thing was experimenting together with the person I love, and overcoming these issues together, but bow I am sad because I feel that the exploration isn't really worth it and that nothing is even getting better. I feel like if being happy of what we've got and the progress we make is only a consolation price for what I really want (pleasure and satisfaction).

    1459297163
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    You sound really down again sweety, big hugs.

    The exploration is worth it, it really is the most beautiful thing to experiment together with the one you love. I wish I could let you see though my eyes, I have done what you are doing now, and gave up; spent the best years of my life saying why can't I have that, why do I get not to have someone love me. Sex wasn't even something I would consider, for 25 years, because all I wanted was love, but I was too scared to even try. When ever I met someone they were so selfish, I thought that all the good ones were married now and so I would never have anyone, so I didn't keep trying, I just gave up.

    Only now when I see myself in you, have I realised how foolish I have been, I have wasted my whole life because I wouldn't keep trying. I have started to look online now, but I don't have too many years left to correct my mistake. We only have one life to live, and it's now, not latter, not when something magical happens all by it's self; because it rarely does, and only for a very few.

    Take the journey, enjoy what you have now, just for now; but go forward with an open mind. Yes there will be lots of bad days when you feel like nothing ever changes, but it's you who has to take the painful steps, and keep taking them, until you find your way clear. Try everything, and keep trying, but give each thing a fair chance, annd keep coming back to things and try them again. Try the his and her nights that VAB suggested. Try to have vaginal sex, and focus on his touch his kiss, don't worry that you feel little, pull together all the sensations you are feeling and let love fill you up. You have a good man and this is not maintainance sex, it's you learning to be a new you, one who feels everything. You don't expect to be handed a doctorate at uni after a week it's a long hard journey, you don't plan on giving up on that; so don't give up on your sex life, no matter how long it takes, it will happen if you let it.

    You are too focused on the end goal, happening NOW,!!!! and that is why you fail. Watch Star Wars, When Yoda is teaching Luke; the wise words are SO TRUE TO LIFE.

    You are in there some where, I sense it in you when you go up beat, then you let yourself slip back; dig in for the long haul, you are such a lovely young woman, you deserve the best.

    Thank you for your very insiteful word on giving a woman oral sex, on that other thread, you sound like quite the master guru on the subject. It's nice to see a woman share the secrets of being a woman, so many just won't try to teach a guy what to do for her.I will remember it If I ever find someone before I'm too old to do anything about it. But I won't stop trying to find her.

    Sorry if I get tough with you, I just feel you need a good hard push, I only take the time to do it because I care so much. I just wish someone had done this for me 30 years ago.

    1459299645
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Alone4ever, I am feeling good right now reading your post. I've just had a talk with my bf (that wasn't even intended to end this way) but we decided we would try bondage, on me first, so I can learn to let him in control and so that we can both learn to feel psychological pleasure from him touching me.

    Now I know that is gonna take a while till it can bring something, because I know he is not the type of guy to do that in the first place (he only does it because he know I'de love him to). Maybe I should tie him up at least one time so he can learn how great it can feel. I'm sure this will bring back confidence, trust and passion in our relationship, as well as a minimum of a sex life, even if it's just learning for a while. What is great too is that it's a new way of learning, so it won't feel like we've already been there and know there is no use because it's not gonna work (this is pretty much how we feel about sex now).

    Your comment really feels warming to me. I guess i'm looking for someone to shake me up a bit. Every great turn i've taken in my life has been preceed by an enlighting insight, I guess I just don't see why things would change progressively and without that aspect for once.

    Thanks for bringing me back in the "live the moment" mindset, it've helped me a lot in the past and it still feels good sometimes. I know I forget is more often than I should.

    It's nice to hear that I at least master one part of sex: knowing what I like and what I want. We've almost done exclusively oral for 3 years now so of course we know, but there is still things that I know I want that he still doesn't know how to do. At least with oral I'm ready to enjoy the journey untill we get there. Also, i'm sorry that I may have made you want to know how it feels to receive it. I know that if I was in the opposite situation, I would've felt like this :(

    Hugs and plenty of love.

    ---

    So now, we're taking advices on how to introduce bondage. We will need to decide on a safe word and set our bundaries. Any things you think shouldn't be tried in that situation? We've also thought that I might put on sexy lingerie to turn him on so that he isn't thinking about how to do X or X thing to please me and let himself go with the flow. It would also make him more enthusiastic about the idea I think. I think that being blindfolded would be a good idea and having only my wrists tied as we only have wrist restrains.


    Any advice is welcomed. Thanks

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