• Overcoming performance issues

    1470275739
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    Go Mamz - did you tell him whilst he was tied up ibwant that bundle 😉

    Sorry I don't get it haha (meh I'm not totally bilingual after all)

    1470276649
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh now I get it haha (sorry)

    1470279812
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Haha , my attempt at humour 😂😂

    No need to be sorry, lots of things I don't get, I love how straight to the point you are 😄 I was explaining on the Scottish thread about the reasoning for the segregation.

    Did you manage to find a voucher? The other day before I logged in the site said '20% off 1st order' then email box n it worked. I didn't use it not sure if we can because '1st order' part.

    Oooh when's the bondage bundle arriving hunni? 😄😄💖xx

    1470281547
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    If you don't understand some things I say just tell me haha I won't be offended because I know my english is rubbish sometimes and I don't even read myself before hitting "post" so I guess it's totally normal.

    That's exactly what I did :) The bundle will arrive in a week but I won't use it until the end of that same week as I'll be at my parent's haha (but I still got it shipped there)

    1470282501
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Nooo your English puts mines to shame! i cant believe you even think that yours is bad, its awesome. I'll have to be more considerate of some phrases that wouldn't be in the dictionary or the translation books.

    Haha😄😄I love your style. Oh you'll be super excited to use the bundle, its a cracker. Love the anal one too especially as there's only two battery powered toys in there. And the items are to my taste 😄

    Haha, shipped to your parents 😂😂 you'll feel like a naughty child signing for it and running upstairs 😄💖xx

    1470334450
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    What did I say about you being in control, and you said you couldn't. I felt like it would be good for you; giving up control, and taking control are two sides of the same coin; and a big part of what we have been through was having all control taken from us. I see it as a way of nutralizing that fear of having control forcibly denighed to us.

    And I'm glad you feel you would like to pegg him, as thats something you used to feel was not something you could do.

    Slinky it means such a lot that you post here and have such kind and supportive things to say; I'm sorry that you have been through similar events in your life, as to what me and Mamz have. There are such awful (I'm being polite there) people in this world, and it's kind of sad that such things happening to us have given us such a bond with each other; would that such a bond had come from happy things.

    Slinky I think the only reason I didn't end up getting drunk all the time was because I still lived with my mom; so I would take a knife to myself in secret. I would want it to hurt to punish myself because I blamed myself, and seeing all the blood was the only thing that told me that I was alive. And tending to the wounds was the only time I would take care of myself, or even care what happened to me.

    I think it's what happened at that new job that has brought me back into the past, that young woman didn't only say i was unpleasant to look at, and to move so that she didn't have to see me, she also started asking about my sex life, and saying it was disgusting that I had had sex when I was over the age of 40. I didn't tell her I have only given sex 3 times in the last 32 years. It just stabbed right through my heart, made me feel like there was no point to being alive if I was so disgusting. If I had said stuff like that to her I would have been charged with sexual harassment, and sacked; and she still has her job; I don't.

    Mamz What is mindfullness meditation, I understand the word mindful but don't know what this is in relation to me. My emotions are overwhelming me, too many all on top of oneanother at the same time. What do you mean "live these emotions" . I shut them down to a dull roar or I would (and have) gone insane. There is a scream in my head thats frozen in time, like the Niagra falls frozen; if it thawed it would wash me away. I don't know how to let it out, I have never cryed, I can't cry properly, tears run down my face, but I can't let go and sob, though as I said it feels like I would scream hysterically. I have sat in front of a tharapist and told my storry Ilke I was reading from a book written by someone else, I go cold and emotionless. But I know If I was sat with someone I loved then when I looked into their eyes, the waterfall would thaw instantly. I once tried to tell a close friend(well I thought she was, but I was wrong) but I could feel what would happen and pushed the emotions back down.

    I had to keep things together because mom didn't want me to show my emotions, because it "upset her " no control again, not allowed to have my own emotions. I think I can't cry because if I was naughty my dad would take his belt to me, If I was still sobbing when he would come past my room after 2 minutes, I would get twice as many strokes of the leather belt, as what I had just had for doing something wrong, just for the fact I was crying.

    People who know me would say I have been a wreck since mom passed, and I didn't have to pretend to anyone anymore. So I suppose I have been disconnected from those emotions to do with the past, to some extent, but they spill over into the rest of my emotions, and colour them with the past, if that makes sense. Helping you has made me feel useful even needed and wanted, and cared for; it means more than I would ever be able to put into words, there is a song that pretty much sums up how I feel by Celine Dion, called Miracle; she recorded it after having a child, and it's about feelings from a mum for her child, I have listened to it for years, and every time my eyes fill with tears, both happy and sad, for the child I would never get to play it for, now it's for you, my wonderful daughter.

    I think getting a job where I feel happy and safe is the next thing I need to solve, but I don't know how, I have tried so hard. May be sorting the past would be best, but like Slinky said about it was telling her OH that helped, I have always felt that was the only way for me. For some reason I know it's something I need to do with that support, of someone I love deeply, and to do it staring into her eyes. But I can't find someone to love any more than I can find a job. And I need the job to get the self respect to have a relationship. I feel stuck in between two immovable facts, so yes lost, and struggling to find hope. If I could find such a love I feel it would make me so strong, but people have said to me that it won't change anything, and only bring other problems into the mix. It doesn't seem that having your bf provided an instant solutution for you, so I guess those people were right.

    I'm still hanging on to the floating corpse of my past, at sea, with no land in sight, and fighting the desire to just let go. ( from that analogy I once gave you) That love for me would be a light house for me to swim for, but it's not there. I could see what you needed to do, because I have spent 32 years hanging on at sea planning what i would do if that light house appeared. And I could see you had a light house shining for you, I just needed to show where it was, and get you to go swim for it. Now you are pretty much there; that feels good.

    1470340628
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Ali, we have so much in common. I too auto-mutilated as a child, but it was because I wanted it to hurt physically instead of psychologically. My parents never taught me to kep my emotions inside but I still learned it because of them. My mother was so emotional and trying to get to close to me and I didn't like that so I became like my father, never having emotions (he does, but the first time I saw him cry was actually about 7 years ago). I had to unlearn keeping these emotions inside. That will sound weird but my ex taught me. He was so overly emotionnal that I didn't want to add to this with my own emotions so i was being passive agresive instead, and he knew it so he would try to have me reveal my emotions. And know I am trying to teach this to my bf haha.

    First of all, I see you more as a friend than as my mom. I am closer to a friend than to my mom. Plus I think a mom-child relation is more of a one way thing, where the mom does everything for her child and would die for it, while the child only gives her back someone to love inconditionnally. I don't want that to be our relation because I want to help you too. You too need help and this time I've been where you're stuck at. It's my turn to try to help you. I don't think seeing each other as close friends would mean it isn't as valuable.

    And our relationships aren't all based on the negative things that happened to us. When I first felt a bond with slinky it was about our relationships with our OHs being so strong :)

    When I read your post, I still have the same feeling. You never lived your life for yourself. Allow yourself to cry, do it for you. Be that person you love with whom you feel ok to cry. I understand how you feel about your emotions spilling over, I'm like that too. You gotta live them one by one. When it's all done, it won't be as bad anymore, because right now the emotions that want to get out are all the emotions you've accumlated through the years and that you've never let out.

    Having my bf didn't change anything on that topic for me. It even made things worse because telling him was what had me realise what really happened to me (and from there I just fell and kept falling for a long time untill now).

    And I feel sorry now for telling you not to care about what your ex coworker told you. I can see now why it hurt you because she hit a sensible point. I would've felt hurt too.

    Mindfullness will help you get closer to yourself, I'm sure. Just look up on youtube I'm sure there are guided meditations videos to help you the first couple of times. Simply allow yourself, say 10 minutes a day and just sit confortably and close your eyes. Now just be. You can focuss on your breathing if it helps you. Let the thoughts flow in your head without acording more attentions to them than that. Don't hang on to a though, just let them flow without having your conscious mind active. Just be in your body, not in your head. Feel. Breathe.

    Let go and trust yourself. Live for youself, for what you feel and want deep inside you. I'm sure there are some things, for example that you would like to do as a job but think "ha no, I can't, it would be impossible" (same for having a kid), but just do it anyways. Do it for you.

    1470362962
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes we are close friends, It's just me; I suppose it's part of acknowleaging, and trying to fully embrace the feeling of being a woman; and having a daughter is a pretty strong part of that for me, at my time of life. I know that you say go find someone and have a child, if thats important to you; but I'm very pragmatic about that ever been possible; there are just too many things to overcome and so little time left to me. It's more of dream, wishing on a star, something that thinking about makes me smile for a second then feel so sad.

    This mindfulness thing seems like what I told you, to try, to live in your body and embrace the physical, without encumberance of of the mind, while having sex.. I have done this for sometime, (not the while having sex bit; though thinking about it yes, with miss FWB,) and use it to suppress emotion.

    No I must be on the wrong track with this, because I use this to divide my mind and put my core being in a mental bubble, to sort of seperate me from myself. sounds odd I know, but if you think of it in computer terms, it's like creating a disc partition to quarantine a software virus in. But it doesn't get me closer to me, quite the opposite. It's what I have learned to do to be able to stop cutting myself, I wish I could teach it to Shadow. It only works short term as it takes a tremendous amount of mental control to maintain it, so I can't function as a person, while I'm doing it. This is mind without body, but an empty mind, a void. Is it the paragraph above that you mean, not this one. I have messed around with so many concepts and variations of this kind, that I am not sure to which one you are refering, or how it applies to my situation.

    I will google it and see if that will make me understand what you mean.

    I have been able to have orgasms by pure thought alone, no physical stimulus, and no physiological reposonses, just pure mentallity. Quite a uneque sensation to be able to do that at will, but while it happened over several hours, and multiple events, once I slept and woke, the ability had left me, and I have no idea how I did it. I never told any one that before, I figured no one would belive me any way. But that was, mind without body, and the mind with only one pure thought, in a void.

    I have been called cold and analytical, like a computer. But I'm not; I have heart so big, and would give my soul to the right person. Perhaps thats my problem, I have nothing left to give to myself, I don't know how to; it's always been my place to fulfil the needs of others, and been made to feel guilty for wanting anything for myself.

    now I don't know how to be any other way, even leaving that job, I felt like I didn't have the right to be there; she made me feel it was my fault for saying don't hurt me like that; that she was the one who had been wronged by me. I should have stayed, but I opperate on pure instinct at such times, and feel instead of think.

    How do you "live emotions" one at a time, sorry I feel a bit slow on the uptake with this. I have tried to cry alone, for years, I just can't something comes in and shuts it down. I have woken from night mares, screaming, (that something I can't talk about here.)

    There are many things I would love to do, I even got into university, with the dream of becoming a psychologist, but I realised that I didn't have the time to compleate it all, to say nothing of making it on to all the courses I would need, there is such competition for places; and my mind is so much slower than it used to be.

    I love the arts, and have a talent for sculpture, but not the speed to make a living from it. I have been told I'm tallented with massage ( miss FWB) that would be fun, hehe. I'm a good upholsterer but too old to stand the pace in a modern factory under piece work rates. I can't even get work in shops, or supermarkets; not that that would be a dream job. I know what things won't work, I have had a business, I know whats involved. I'm at a loss as to what to do; I guess I just keep banging my head on doors and pray.

    don't feel sorry over the co-worker thing, If I had told you what had happened at the time, you would have understood back then. now it doesn't matter if anyone there connects the dots, to me, so I thought I would tell all.

    I can't seem to find purpose for me alone, what I want for myself is to be one half of a whole, but without ever having had this, I don't understand why that would be better than me alone. I think we are hard wired to be in pairs, or groups, and society tries to enforce this. I understand why people would choose to be alone; after all I did choose this for decades. Until one day I just came appart at the seams, and I feel now I need more. But I know only too well how it can go horribly wrong, it still seems the only way out though. Maybe it's just the door to a different kind of hell, who knows in my case.

    If you can show me the door that leads out of this I will take it, but you know how much alike we are.

    1470365408
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia4Ever wrote:

    No I must be on the wrong track with this, because I use this to divide my mind and put my core being in a mental bubble, to sort of seperate me from myself. sounds odd I know, but if you think of it in computer terms, it's like creating a disc partition to quarantine a software virus in. But it doesn't get me closer to me, quite the opposite. It's what I have learned to do to be able to stop cutting myself, I wish I could teach it to Shadow. It only works short term as it takes a tremendous amount of mental control to maintain it, so I can't function as a person, while I'm doing it. This is mind without body, but an empty mind, a void. Is it the paragraph above that you mean, not this one. I have messed around with so many concepts and variations of this kind, that I am not sure to which one you are refering, or how it applies to my situation.

    THis. I absolutely understand this as I have been doing this for so long. But as you said, you just can't go on like that because it doesn't work and it makes things even worse. Your feelings are part of yourself so embrace them. Your experiences also are part of your past, so embrace them too. ou can't put all that in one bag and throw is away expecting to never see it again. Instead open it, take your time and just look at what is inside, one emotion at a time.

    It is not exactly like you were telling me to do with sex because in sex, you don,t want those negative emotions to happen, while in your life, these got to happen. You can't stop them. Plus the more you try to hide them, the more accumulates and when it gets out ( because it's impossible to keep it all inside) it's even more painfull because it all comes out at the same time.

    Instead of cutting yourself, try to find another way to exteriorise these feelings when you cry. For some it can be writing (That's what I am trying to do with my blog). For others it is art, or screaming, or sports, etc.

    and it's not only about mindfulness. In fact it's a way of living but I find meditation to be a great way of achieving it.

    The key is allowing yourself to feel the emotions. Instead of blocking, tell yourself "it's ok, I am allowed to feel this" or "I'll accept you no matter what". Show compassion to your own self. Also, I found that I used to try to understand emotions with my mind instead of living them. Taking them and rationalising them doesn't help because the emotions just stay there and are refrained. I found that instead of starting to think when I feel something, I must just shut my mind down and feel it. The emotion can be anything. I am allowed to me sad without crying, just as I am allowed to cry without being sad or knowing what is wrong.

    I know what you mean cause I too often come across as cold, but in reality I am emotional (yet analytical).

    You've never been allowed to feel loved or to want something for you. Why not allowing that to yourself for once? No one else should decide on that except you, and I think it's about time you give yourself that right.

    I know you feel like it's too late and you're too old to acomplish anything, but you still have plenty of time left. I think it would be a shame if you didn't live those remaining 30+ years fully because you think it's not worth it. Living a happy life whatever your age is what is important right?

    And don,t you know that with aging, yess the brain gets slower, but it also gets richer. The ideas and thoughts may be more difficult to retrieve but they are way richer and that's not something to underestimate (it's medecine, trust me it's true). That's also why most of people on comities or presidents are all older.

    You should meet my dad. I don't want to say too much about him on here but he is old but how great. He worked for the majority of his life, then decided he would start a buisiness of his own. His business was a sucess (but wasn't not the few first years) and he still is investing so much in it even though most people his age are retiering. He also had children at an age when he could be a grandfather, and so what? Most of the great things he did in his life he did at an age people would tell him was too late. He didn,t listen to them and did what he wanted anyways. I also know people who got divorced and found love at 50 or 70 and now they're the most happiest people in the world. Why would age even be relevent in hapiness and in living your life like you intend to? Some of my friends parents also are going back (or for the first time) to university. Why would it ever be to late for anything? Even if it's only gonna last for 10-15 years, why wouldn't be those years worth that hapiness?

    And I'm not saying you are wrong because you want to find love. I am simply saying you should also love yourself just as much as you would love the woman of your life. When my bf left me I too was feeling like all I wanted was to be with someone I love. I had no choice but to learn to love myself instead. I did and you cannot understand how benefical it was. I wouldn't be where I was today if I hadn't learned that. It ahelped with self affirmation, it helped with insecurities, it helped with so many things that are a most in living my life and with living in a relationship.

    1470617646
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Ali you're daughter's a bit concerned :( You've not been on the forum for a while and I know you weren,t feeling great. I don't like the way you were talking as it sounded like you thought your life wasn,t worth living anymore. I don't want you to be left alone during that though time. I'm being a mom right now as I'm getting concerned about where you've been

    1470617940
    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    +1 Mamz

    Miss your posts here Alicia, it's noticible when you're not here on the forum! Please post something :)

    1470618033
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Sxleksaker wrote:

    +1 Mamz

    Miss your posts here Alicia, it's noticible when you're not here on the forum! Please post something :)

    1470627910
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    That's so sweet, it's nice that you care so much, no one eles cares; and when I'm feeling down blood family wants even less to do with me. I'm here Sxleksaker, (I nearly peed my panties, when you got your ruler out on that other thread, LOL) ; and Slinky, Not noticed LNT lately hope she is ok, but it's the weekend.

    I'm just feeling delicate, some of the recent threads have been getting under my skin, I don't know whether to get upset or angry, so I have kept out of it.

    Sorry for worrying you my hunnis, I'm OK, well I'm not really, but you know. I need to let the thoughts out of my head I hate pretending I'm fine when I'm not, I had to do it for years with mom. Besides it feels like lying, and I hate that too, you don't want me to keep it to myself, do you ?

    I tried that directed meditation thing, I have deffinatley got a deep seated block over crying, or to be more precise vocalising while crying, and not shuting the tears down after a few seconds. It sounds silly but while doing the meditation, I felt the block come in hard, and heard a little voice (self talk, but sort of "auto" if that makes sence) It said "he'll hear", it's deffinatley from the past.

    I think what happened at work sort of punched a hole back to that time, and writting about what happened after I was raped by all her mates, brought it all back to the surface, but all the times I let her have sex when I didn't want to, because of how she would react if I refused her, as well; and all the physical abuse from her. The worst bit is remembering how I couldn't stop them, and her, from making me physically arroused, it felt like my own body was betraying me; thats why I blame myself; well part of it anyway.

    Sorry I feel raw again, and now I'm putting it on you. I don't know why I can't let it go.

    And men; I want them, but don't want anything to do with them, I'm so confused, I wish I could be a proper lesbian.

    1470629085
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Sxleksaker got her ruler out on a thread? I did not see that :O

    You're right, I don't want you to keep all that for yourself. Just let it out on here if you feel that's what you need.

    Tell me more about your meditation. I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean but from what I understand, you didn't really feel connected to your body. I guess it's normal after what you've been through, but the goal of the exercice isn't to block yourself even more from your feelings, it's to let go the thoughts and just feel instead, live in the present.

    I think you should take advantage of the situation and cry about that while it's out, so you can be done with it for good. I understand that you have felt like your body was betraying you. I think it's normal to feel this way, and you're absolutely not to blame. I think that may be one other great reasons of why you just keep blocking, you don't wanna let that body betray you again don't you?

    And please, two things:

    - You can tell me whatever you want and I'll still be there hoping that you tell even more

    - Don't try to fight that. Don't go back to when you were turning your back on who you really are. Don't try to "be a proper lesbian" if you're bi. You can be attracted to men without finding any of them attractive (not only physically I mean). It's like when I say I might be pansexual. I don,t feel attracted to any girl right now but that doesn't mean one day I won't find the perfect one (saying would not be with my bf anymore). You have the right to be attracted to men even if you find them to be total dicks. I am attracted to them but yet hate so many of them. Don't let yourself be put down by that. Remember there is some great men on here (forget about those who aren't), and there are some great ones outside too, just look at our oh's, they're all amazing guys, why couldn't you find a guy like that too?

    1470669166
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    So happy to see you post Alecia. Totally understand where you're coming from, sometimes we all get annoyed at threads and don't want to contribute. Just remember this, the people are most certainly not doing it on purpose to annoy you (this keeps me sane in life, so thought with some of your anxiousness it may help.) We have to do the anxiety/mental illness thread at some point in the future and you're going to be such a key player. I know that it's not now, or maybr not in the best future but it'll happen and you're going to be incredible help, and hopefully it'll work both ways so you get the help too 😙😙

    I want to write loads but afraid of getting something wrong, There for offering bad advice and that's not something I'm knowingly going to do. Big hugs hunni 💖xx

    1470681823
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    Sxleksaker got her ruler out on a thread? I did not see that :O

    A guy going on about his size, so Sxleksaker said I will use a ruler to measure how deep my vagina is and say beat that.

    You're right, I don't want you to keep all that for yourself. Just let it out on here if you feel that's what you need.

    Thanks, I need to find a way out of this, I feel stupid for letting it drag on for this ridiculous amount of time. Thats why I didn't want it you to end up doing the same, you were seeming to be set on the same path I took; you are doing great, and that gives me hope too.

    Tell me more about your meditation. I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean but from what I understand, you didn't really feel connected to your body. I guess it's normal after what you've been through, but the goal of the exercice isn't to block yourself even more from your feelings, it's to let go the thoughts and just feel instead, live in the present.

    I went on a web site that did guided mindfullness, and listened to, and followed some of them; one was for dealing with unpleasant emotions. When I did it, It was pretty much what I have done myself for years, only it asked me to open the emotion and feel where it was in my body I felt it. When I did this I felt the tears fill my eyes, and other sensations I don't know how to explain, then that self voice I mentioned came in and things got shut down hard and fast. I tried again straight away and could not get back there. DId I do the wrong meditation, it didn't say to let the emotions go, only to go back to feeling my body when the emotion no longer held any interest for me. But for me thats a door way back to the past, I start to live it again, like watching a video, only almost real, I feel touch and body heat, and I think remember smells too. How do I use this to live in the present, shutting the emotion, and the connected memories down sort of does that, but it doesn't let me let go of the emotion. it said when the emotion no longer held any interest for me, that I should go back to feeling my body and replace that emotion with a possitive emotion, I could not manage to do that.

    I think you should take advantage of the situation and cry about that while it's out, so you can be done with it for good.

    Thats just it, I can manage tears for a moment or two, but I still can't break down, and release the burden of the emotions, I was trained by my father to show no emotion, from a young age, just as my ex trained me to feel no emotion during sex. Those 3 times I managed sex were with my FWB and it was a massive struggle to feel anything, physically, or emotionally. But the do not cry thing I have, is very very strong, as I said I can feel it come down like a steel door that drops down like it weighs tons.

    I understand that you have felt like your body was betraying you. I think it's normal to feel this way, and you're absolutely not to blame. I think that may be one other great reasons of why you just keep blocking, you don't wanna let that body betray you again don't you?

    You are right that is a large part of what the sexual block is, the rest is feeling I have no control, uncertanty over my sexuallity, gender idendity, totally unfounded worry that the other person is non consentual, and finally that i'm unsure if I want to have sex anymore.

    I used to think that I didn't want to have anyone touch me, but turned out it was me not wanting to touch them. I think thats connected some how to the body betraying me issue, I couldn't stop them touching me, I couldn't stop myself becoming physically arroused by their touch, the only thing I had left was to not touch them back. At least I got past that one.

    And please, two things:

    - You can tell me whatever you want and I'll still be there hoping that you tell even more

    - Don't try to fight that. Don't go back to when you were turning your back on who you really are. Don't try to "be a proper lesbian" if you're bi. You can be attracted to men without finding any of them attractive (not only physically I mean). It's like when I say I might be pansexual. I don,t feel attracted to any girl right now but that doesn't mean one day I won't find the perfect one (saying would not be with my bf anymore). You have the right to be attracted to men even if you find them to be total dicks. I am attracted to them but yet hate so many of them. Don't let yourself be put down by that. Remember there is some great men on here (forget about those who aren't), and there are some great ones outside too, just look at our oh's, they're all amazing guys, why couldn't you find a guy like that too?

    My acceptance of my female gender, is having a massive impact on my sexuallity, and how I perceive sex. I want to tell you more about this, I will do it later.

    Slinky, I know it's not on purpose to annoy me; it's just lately I feel I have become a bit over sensitive to certain femine issues, I think my feminine personallity is becoming much more a part of me. It's growing stronger, too quickly, so I haven't had the time to learn to temper these feelings; they are hot and raw, full of anger and outrage; but I have managed to hold my tongue. I have always had these feelings; but now I have let go of this male body and have embraced the woman I am, I'm taking things personally as a woman, and on behalf of other women. I may have to live in this body,.but I'm done with thinking I'm am man thats weird, done trying to be what others want me to be, done trying to feel like a man, done trying to be a man for my own sake; I am female, and I feel happier being female.

    There is no something wrong, it's just it may not apply to a particular person, or their situation, but thats true for all advice offered here, and every one know that, and accepts that as true.

    1470682380
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia - I am around hun, just so bloody busy at work I don't get the time to post as much as I would like - I do try to keep up with everyone by reading posts but not necessarily posting - thank you for your concern, I am very touched anyone even noticed.

    You get so much support and advice (and you give it too) to the others on this particular thread I don't feel I can add anything constructive, but I do try to keep up with how you are all doing.

    How about I throw in some of my infamous huggles for good measure xxxxx

    1470682681
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I am going to type a proper response within the next 2 hours cause now I am busy, but before that would you tell us what are thise feminine issues making you sad/angry/etc?

    1470685513
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Alecia - I don't understand the 'it's not on purpose' line?

    It makes total sense that you're embracing the feminine side as you are a lady. There must be some emotional stuff that's really hard to understand and work through, but the fact you're already starting to do that has to be a good sign. And a big step in the right direction towards being happy in your own skin 💖xx

    l never leave my friends. If ever you need me I'll be there. Sending big hugs 💖xx

    1470685720
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    She means that she knows that these threads are not meant to annoy/hurt her personally :) (well that's what I understand from it)

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