• Struggling to cum without toys!

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have been in my relationship for just over 4 months and having come out of a 13 year relationship a while ago I can honestly say I'm having the best sex of my life!

    I was really surprised to have a clitoral orgasm through sex pretty early on but although I have been close its not happened since. I don't really cum through oral and so we just resort to toys, I haven't even had one with just his fingers. I know that a lot of this is in my head and as it takes a long time for me to achieve an orgasm I feel pressure (even though he's uber patient and has never even hinted that I need to "hurry up") don't get me wrong I'm certainly not going without, I never fake it and I feel very satisfied but it would be amazing to be able to cum again while being on top and have them manually too, that's how my ex husband used to make me cum.

    Is there anyone else that has got over this hurdle? Do you have any recommendations for products that would increase the likelihood?

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Go back to basics for a while. Don't use any toys for a couple weeks and just start over again. Lots of touching, kissing, stroking, whatever it is that you enjoy. Start having sexual activity without using any toys and see if that helps.

    You might just be so used to orgasming with toys, that your body can't respond to any other kind of stimulation. It's the same for guys who masturbate too much, it's hard for them to cum through sex as they're too used to their own hand.

    Maybe a pleasure enhancer gel or balm would help with some extra clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex if you feel you need something. :)

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks Nat! Any particular gel that you would recommend?

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    I find that if I use toys too much it can deaden sensation and make orgasming without them difficult. Your body gets used to cumming with toys and then relys on it. Give the toys a rest for a while and go back to basics, lots of touching , kissing etc. If you play solo don't be tempted to use toys for a while.....just fingers until you body responds again to that then move onto sex without toys. Take things slowly though, there's no need to rush x

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    goldenoldie [sign in to see picture]
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    Gem276 wrote:

    Thanks Nat! Any particular gel that you would recommend?

    I can recommend Durex Play O which you can get on LH. It's made all the difference to my wife who was finding it very difficult to cum even using a Doxy - but now, no problem it works every time.

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you for the advice and particularly Golden Oldie the product recommendation as I purchased the Durex Play O!

    I have committed to one month of no toys! 😳 Including going solo Terri JJ!

    I have so far refrained from masturbating and as he has moved house and had family stay with him it had been a whole 5 days of no sex and 8 days since my last orgasm so I was pretty keen to pounce!

    He had played with me after using the Durex Play O but although I enjoyed the sensation I wasn't even close so I gave him a massage and a blow job and accepted that if it didn't happen that was okay (taking the pressure off myself) on our drive over to my house I had also confessed that there had been times where I had been close(ish) only for him to say that he was going to cum and that was that!

    Anyway, after much foreplay and intimacy I was enjoying riding him and added some more of the Durex Play and some of my liquid silk despite being pretty wet myself and felt like I was getting close only for him to say that he was cumming, so I carried on and Whoop whoop I actually achieved my orgasm!! Only for him to say that he wasn't having an orgasm and he just said it to distract me and see if it helped me psychologically! I can't believe it worked, but it did and I have a huge smile on my face!

    I am going to stick to no toys for a month (a bit of a shame as I bought a new butt plug and got a love egg for free but hey, I'm committed to the cause) it is a brilliant psychological break through and hopefully I can try again later on in the week as well as masturbating using just my fingers and porn tonight! I hate the fact that my mind is such a barrier to orgasms! I guess that's like men and their errections!

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Great news Gem.

    I'll maybe get some of the Durex Play O for myself to try as I have unfortunately never had a PIV orgasm ever.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Gem

    I read online a few days ago that porn can cause erectile disfunction in men, don't know what effect it has on women though. The mind gets used to seeing it so much that it starts to make you numb to it, and need ever more kinky porn to get the same result. Like watching horror films, they don't seem quite so scary when you have seen a few, similar ones.

    The artical suggested only using mental images from your own sexual experiences. Just some thing for you to think about.

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you, I know what you mean about porn, I go through phases of watching it but I don't really watch all that much to be fair.

    I just haven't masturbated without toys for ages so it was easier to get turned on by porn as my fella has gone home!

    Needless to say I watched it for quite a while without touching and then squirted my Durex O and boom! Came in 4 mins which is pretty good for me! Definitely worth paying the £16.99 if I can keep that success rate up! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

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