• Overcoming squeamishness

    1458570621
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Looking for general tips/advice/chat on the subject...

    My OH wants to get her nipples pierced. No biggie right? Very common...

    But the problem is me! I'm sure plenty of ppl have super-sensitive nipples, but I'm off the scale here, I can't bear mine touched, let alone played with. Personally the thought of a pierced nipple makes me cringe to the point of my genitals turning inside out and crawling back up into my stomach. The weird thing is, I'm no stranger to pain (wax, paddling, flogging, rough pegging) - in fact, depending on the area, I love it. But when it comes to my nips, I'd sooner someone deliver a flying kick to my knackers than have a nipple pierced. I've had partners in the past that had pierced nipples and it was a genuine turn-off for me. But!! It's not my body and I understand my OHs reasons for wanting this. I want to support her. Once pierced, she wants the piercings pulled at etc and I'm worried that even if I can mask any outward wincing, I'll lose all arousal. Far from recoiling, I want to be able to share this with her. It's psychological I'm sure, so how do I overcome this squeamishness?

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Not sure what to suggest. Are you planning to go with your OH to the piercing studio? You might feel less squeamish if you see that it doesn't hurt that much when she gets it done. On the other hand it could go the other way and have you running for the door.


    I'm the same with belly button piercings. Love the look of them but cringe at the thought of anyone going near mine to pierce it!
    However I rather fancy getting a VCH but my OH thinks "Yuck. Why would you want metal there?" and as I am a huge woos with pain I don't think I'll ever pluck up the courage to do it. I worry about loss of sensation too.

    Maybe once your OH has them done and they're all healed up you'll grow to like them and if not she might be able to remove them just for a short while and then put them back in when you are intimate.

    1458571370
    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    you have to try and recondition your self to liking that area, maybe try making it more fun than a task?

    1458571557
    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    I really can't help you there. Have you been open with her about your previous experiences? Yes, it is her body and it's her choice what she does with it but if it were me, I would think twice if it could impact my sex life. Make sure you talk about it without reference to your disgust at her desires as she might take that personally. Approach it from explaining rationally your feelings regarding it.

    My partner also has really sensitive nipples and he won't let me do any kind of touching or play at all so you're not alone. Personally, I have very little feeling in my nipples until I'm having some kind of clitoral stimulation. Some people have almost none. She might be like that or like many people really enjoy that kind of stimulation. Maybe start by using some kind of nipple toys like clamps or pinching rings (I love these: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30884 or http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31536) so you can get used to the idea. That way you can both work through it together before she takes the plunge.x

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Forgot to say you get some really pretty Nipple jewellery so you could maybe pick something special for her that you really like if she does go ahead and gets them done. There is some cute sparkly stuff and I like the look of the delicate circles that they call shields.

    Another idea is she could maybe get the non piercing type jewellery first so that you get used to seeing something there and touching her with them on. The false non piercing stuff looks pretty good and it looks quite hard to tell the difference although they probably don't stay on so well x

    1458572327
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    This is a toughie, but I really appreciate your willingness to support and accept her decision. 

    One thing which might help you get over the idea of nipple piercings is the fact that men's nipples are WAAAAAY more sensitive than women's.

    Your squeamish feelings about nipple piercings show you're an empathetic person (which is lovely), but empathy is (by definition) our ablity to understand someone elses experience by putting ourselves in their shoes.

    Therefore your empathy for nipple piercings is based on your own assumption on what a nipple piercing would feel like for you. The good news nipple piercings feel completely different and way way less painful for women so even though you're doing your best to imagine what it would feel like based on your own sensitivity, it is completely off the mark.

    A lot of women find their nipples are a little more sensitive after being pierced, but not to an uncomfortable level. It just makes everything heightenedand more pleasurable. You'll be able to use more delicate touches and get an amazing response from her. 

    One thing I will say is that nipple piercings take a VERRRRY long time to heal (Anything from 2 months to several years) and you must wait until it is fully healed before you play with that nipple.

    No matter how long the nipple has been pierced for, I would never ever recommend using a nipple piercings for tugging or pulling play. If she is planning to stretch her nipple that may be a little safer, but is still not recommended for a happy piercing AND happy nipple. It's also worth noting that you may not be able to use many nipple clamps once her nipples are pierced. 

    I've just retired one nipple piercing afer trying to heal it for 10 years and have never played rough with it, if that helps her decision making. Nipple piercings are not a decision to take lightly. Please make sure she does her research and finds a reputable piercer who uses the correct method and will give her all of the above advice (and more). 

    1458572616
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Sex Squid wrote:

    Looking for general tips/advice/chat on the subject...

    My OH wants to get her nipples pierced. No biggie right? Very common...

    But the problem is me! I'm sure plenty of ppl have super-sensitive nipples, but I'm off the scale here, I can't bear mine touched, let alone played with. Personally the thought of a pierced nipple makes me cringe to the point of my genitals turning inside out and crawling back up into my stomach. The weird thing is, I'm no stranger to pain (wax, paddling, flogging, rough pegging) - in fact, depending on the area, I love it. But when it comes to my nips, I'd sooner someone deliver a flying kick to my knackers than have a nipple pierced. I've had partners in the past that had pierced nipples and it was a genuine turn-off for me. But!! It's not my body and I understand my OHs reasons for wanting this. I want to support her. Once pierced, she wants the piercings pulled at etc and I'm worried that even if I can mask any outward wincing, I'll lose all arousal. Far from recoiling, I want to be able to share this with her. It's psychological I'm sure, so how do I overcome this squeamishness?

    I can't give you much advice as such becaise I am as sensitive as you. I run a mile if I get touched there like yourself. I am wondering if guys are much more sensitve in that region as we don't have the flesh bit of a breast so to speak. Not sure but that could be a reason.

    Women are different and mine likes me biting hers. They have totally different sensations in that area than us guys do. So really you can't compare her body to yours so if she wants them pulled then just bite the bullet and try it.

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks all who've replied so far. Despite my best intentions I'm not sure I could be there while it's done. I think I could definitely come round to being able to play with them; if it's a turn on for her then it might help me seeing her respond to them being played with.

    Thank you Jess, great to get first-hand advice :) x

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, my OH got both pierced at once. Silver curved bars, and I've got to admit whilst I'm nowhere ready to tweak or nibble or be anything other than super gentle; I do love the way they look, and am able to kiss and lick them.

    OH says she wants to stick with curved bars and has no intention of getting rings or anything that could catch. Seems mutual ground reached. Another LH success story :)

    Xxx

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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Sex Squid wrote:

    Well, my OH got both pierced at once. Silver curved bars, and I've got to admit whilst I'm nowhere ready to tweak or nibble or be anything other than super gentle; I do love the way they look, and am able to kiss and lick them.

    OH says she wants to stick with curved bars and has no intention of getting rings or anything that could catch. Seems mutual ground reached. Another LH success story :)

    Xxx

    Awesome! 

    To make sure they heel properly, you should avoid all contact for 4-6 weeks. No fingers, tongues, teeth or anything (other than cleaning them - and fingers should be properly cleaned before doing this / disposable gloves should be worn).

    After about 6 weeks the MIGHT be ready to play, but it was several months before mine were healed enough to touch. And even then they still do play up after a session so be aware of that.

    As soon as she's able, I'd highly recommend her changing the jewellery to a pair of straight bars as it will reduce the risk of migration massively. I don't want to worry you, but I'm very surprised the piercer did them with a curved bar - that seems extremely unusual and not terribly advised. Was she given thorough aftercare advice? Can I ask who your OH was pierced by? 

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    Rimmer57 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

    Sex Squid wrote:

    Well, my OH got both pierced at once. Silver curved bars, and I've got to admit whilst I'm nowhere ready to tweak or nibble or be anything other than super gentle; I do love the way they look, and am able to kiss and lick them.

    OH says she wants to stick with curved bars and has no intention of getting rings or anything that could catch. Seems mutual ground reached. Another LH success story :)

    Xxx

    Awesome!

    To make sure they heel properly, you should avoid all contact for 4-6 weeks. No fingers, tongues, teeth or anything (other than cleaning them - and fingers should be properly cleaned before doing this / disposable gloves should be worn).

    After about 6 weeks the MIGHT be ready to play, but it was several months before mine were healed enough to touch. And even then they still do play up after a session so be aware of that.

    As soon as she's able, I'd highly recommend her changing the jewellery to a pair of straight bars as it will reduce the risk of migration massively. I don't want to worry you, but I'm very surprised the piercer did them with a curved bar - that seems extremely unusual and not terribly advised. Was she given thorough aftercare advice? Can I ask who your OH was pierced by?

    Well Done to your OH, Sex Squid, I must Agree with Jess, I know when my OH got both of hers done a couple of years ago, it took a few months before any play or anything else was pleasurable in any way, and then she said they were a little tender., so depending on good a healer she is, I think you must wait.

    One other thing, she must resist is to twist them herself, or even think about changing the style of the bars till they are fully healed. Also I can vouch to this as iI had mine Pierced years ago, and have stretched them to 6mm bars, so i know what the pain is like.

    As for the aftercare, make sure she does exactly what her piercer said, and all should be ok, and enjoys them for many years to come.

    1459276076
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

    Sex Squid wrote:

    Well, my OH got both pierced at once. Silver curved bars, and I've got to admit whilst I'm nowhere ready to tweak or nibble or be anything other than super gentle; I do love the way they look, and am able to kiss and lick them.

    OH says she wants to stick with curved bars and has no intention of getting rings or anything that could catch. Seems mutual ground reached. Another LH success story :)

    Xxx

    Awesome!

    To make sure they heel properly, you should avoid all contact for 4-6 weeks. No fingers, tongues, teeth or anything (other than cleaning them - and fingers should be properly cleaned before doing this / disposable gloves should be worn).

    After about 6 weeks the MIGHT be ready to play, but it was several months before mine were healed enough to touch. And even then they still do play up after a session so be aware of that.

    As soon as she's able, I'd highly recommend her changing the jewellery to a pair of straight bars as it will reduce the risk of migration massively. I don't want to worry you, but I'm very surprised the piercer did them with a curved bar - that seems extremely unusual and not terribly advised. Was she given thorough aftercare advice? Can I ask who your OH was pierced by?

    Hiya, was pierced in a tattoo & piercing studio and yeah they did curved bars. Was given plenty of aftercare advice and was told to leave well alone, bathe in salt solution and not to tweak or touch at all if can be helped. Happy to link you to the exact place via a PM or the community email address? X

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