• Private vs. Open

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    VioletWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    So I'm really open minded, there are very few things that shock me, and when it comes to people's turn ons and fetishes etc, I'm pretty accepting and don't judge. I don't always understand someone's fetish, but I do accept them, because it's not something they should feel ashamed of. We've been given a body and mind with a healthy sexual appetite and I don't see why we shouldn't do whatever we need to maximise the pleasure we receive (within legal/moral boundaries naturally).

    I'm also very open about my own sex life and have no problem talking frankly about my experiences or desires etc. I'm not a fan of this stereotypical British prudence where sex is a forbidden topic, and this links to the above shame - so many kinks are classed as devious or just plain weird, when actually they're a lot more common than they appear, it's just that they don't get talked about.

    So without name dropping or being rude please (don't want the mods having to kick anyone's bum 🙈), are you open when you aren't behind a keyboard? Or do your bedroom antics stay in the bedroom? Can you handle learning that a friend or partner has an unusual fetish? And how much info is too much?

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    Jambal [sign in to see picture]
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    personally i love the openness, i am always open whether its behind the keyboard like now or whether it is in the bedroom becuase its not like i am ashamed of some of the fetishes or turns on, its what makes me me, and i dont judge anyone for anyones likes or dislikes as we are all different. I have many friends that have completly different veiws on fetishs and everything else that i havent even thought of and if anything widens my own horizens to new and exciting antics to be had, so i would say no info is too much in my personal opion

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    Lovehoney - Paige [sign in to see picture]
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    I think this situation in particular is a little different for me, as I work for Lovehoney but ah well.

    It is a mix and match for me and definitely depends on who the person I am talking to is. I am an open person with my job and absolutely have no shame. However in discussing turn ons, offs, toys and fetishes I think it mostly depends if they are comfortable talking to me about that.

    I do help a lot of my friends personally with advice with toys, lubricants, what they should go for etc but very rarely do I get down to the detail of their relationship. Things which are really personal to me (such as my sex life / turn ons with my partner) that actually just sticks at work to be honest. Our team in AU is very close, and we talk about abolsutely everything & anything sexual with no awkwardness. That being said Lovehoney is a VERY big influence on that, because we want to enhance our knowledge constantly with Sexual Happiness. If we share that throughout our team it's a great thing :)

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    Vanilla_Kink [sign in to see picture]
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    It's possibly to do with the fact that I am quite young and I think things are becoming more accepted through time but I have always been very open minded. I think someone's personal desires are their business, I don't have to understand them. It really gets my back up when I hear people being judgemental of others. People can't help who they are. As they say, it would be boring if we were all the same. Using the forum has opened my eyes to all kinds of things I never knew about and it's one of the reasons I love the forum so much. People (including me) can be themselves entirely without judgment, just as they should. I talk more freely about sex then my peers do. But when you're met with shock over the use of a butt plug, it's hard to open up about more then that. So there are things I have only admitted to my partner and this forum.

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    Go_for_the_oh [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi all...

    I am a very private person in general and like to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself but I am also very open minded and there isn't much I won't try in or out of the bedroom.

    Although I would never judge others for their fetish or preferences I prefer to keep mine in my relationship

    I think in a lot of ways I am probably the stereotypical English man due to my very old fashioned upbringing.

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    As a anyone who knows me on here might expect I'm very open and honest in real life too.

    I really do live by " you can ask me anything as long as your prepaired for an honest answer, if your not don't ask me".

    I have a close grope of aquatancies that openly discuss their sex lives and I have asked their advice and opinions in the past. My OH is CLOSED, he never even tells me how he feels. I can tell fairly well by his behaviour and responses now, after our time together. But he doesn't discus sex ever.

    My honesty often gets me in trouble, and I upset people, not intentionally, I just manage to not lie convincingly. Or my bluntness comes as a shock to people. People who really know me, accept that is how I am, but to strangers I must come across as very rude.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Its a bit of the old chestnut for us. What goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Yes we talk about it amongst ourselves but that is as far as it goes. We do our sex surveys on each other over a pub lunch We don't talk about it amonngst friends .Some of it is to do with the perception the genreal public has over a bit of kink in the bedroom. Its seems to be a very much taboo subject in the UK.

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    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    i'm equally as open about my sexuality online and in person, esp being a blogger for the past 5 yrs etc. obv i don't blurt it out to anyone who will listen but if i'm asked a question, i shall answer

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    Some of my closer friends know what I'm into; but not all. Depends on whether they ask; I don't meet with friends and blurt out what I got up to last night, but if the conversation leans that way and someone asks me outright what I'm into, then they can expect an open answer :)

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 11 Dec 2014

    I am an open book, the only person I don't discuss sex with is my Dad, my Mum knows that I love anal, it really shocked my OH that I was so open with her! She helped me put on my corset last week for "dress up Friday" especially as we all go to church and she's probably quite conservative, but as I don't have a printer at home, my 75year old step Dad does my LH returns print out labels and hands them back at the post office so he knows what I have bought!

    I am kind of renound for being open and honest and just generally having no shame when it comes to sex. I love this forum, for me it is the new Facebook as its all about my two fave subjects (sex and relationships)

    My frankness has got me in to trouble before when I have asked someone a question that they may not have felt comfortable answering but to me if you aren't ok with answering then just say so! Quite a few friends have said that they have never shared with their partners what they are able to tell me as they feel so comfortable and know that I won't judge them, mates often come for advice if they're having a sexual/ relationship problem! - if I was a bit more intelligent I would have loved to be a sex therapist!

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    Orangeboom [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm private really. Have a job that kind of dictates that. Plus I think what I'm into, pegging, being submissive, humiliation is still a big taboo in general society. If I told my male friends I would get absolutely ruined! I would literally never hear the end of it.
    I do share with one close female friend (non sexual) who is into similar stuff (but in reverse) but that was the first time I had ever actually talked about it with a peer who I wasn't involved with. I found that really liberating actually.

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    JJLWB [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm very open minded and if someone has a fetish that I don't understand then it doesn't bother me at all. I really believe in each to their own. I'm happy talking about my bedroom antics if someone asks, and have nothing to be ashamed of but I don't often discuss this with people unless they ask. I think some people feel uncomfortable talking about things like that so I wouldn't rub it in their faces unless they want to be open with me.

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Nothing is taboo or too much. I'm very open, happy to discuss anything with anyone and accepting of anything. There's very little I won't do or haven't done. Everyone has the right to be individual in there sexual tastes as much as there tastes in anything else. I obviously don't condone things that are illegal though x

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    kusanagi [sign in to see picture]
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    It depends on the person, a couple of close friends know I dabble in the fetish scene and and partner would have to be fully aware for our love life to work. But I see no need for my family or work to know so it remains pprivate in those circumstances

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    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm very closed, but very open to others and non judgementle if they have a kink thats fine, if others knew I had a butt plug 4" wide, really big, I bet their eyes would be equally wide,,,

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    Troubled Joe [sign in to see picture]
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    I would say I'm pretty open with quite a few of my friends, sometimes more so than I am with OH. She is still pretty buttoned up about some of the more kinky stuff and I'd probably scare her off if I was 100 per cent honest about some of my turn ons but that's totally fine with me. We're in a really good place together and I've certainly no complaints so why rock the boat?

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm very open with my friends and older sister but not with my mum or younger siblings (although both are old enough to have sex, I still think of them as little babies!)

    I was very open when I was around 18 but then I was in a relationship with a guy that shamed me for my kinks so I became quite closed off. Even after we broke up, I still held on to the internalised shame, until a couple of years ago when I got back in touch with an old fuck buddy. We've now been seeing each other for a year and a half and I have never been more comfortable with my sexuality.

    I think because of the shaming relationship, I now really want to help other people be accepting of their kinks and idiosyncrasies so I am very open with close friends and quite open with less close friends.

    Openness, to me, doesn't mean sharing intimate things about the people I sleep with though. I don't talk about penis size or anything like that and if I tell a story, I leave out names.

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    loganlogan [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm quite a shy person until I get to know someone and feel confident in a situation.i have gradually opened up to previous girlfriends about turn ons but it definitely a process.
    The relative anonymity of a forum means I can be more open,or at least the confidence to be more open quicker about certain things than I would face to face.
    It all comes down to confidence and the worry about how people perceive you or react to what you say.on here everyone knows what they are here for so the worry about judgement doesn't exist as much.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I am very open with a few very close friends. Outside of that "circle of trust" I am a pretty private person.

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    sanasca [sign in to see picture]
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    hi,

    I think it very much depends on who i'm talking to, I'm pretty open to my partner and willing to try anything. With family i'm a closed book.

    I used to be much more open but like Friday13, I was in a relationship where it wasen't allowed and I was punished for a lot less. It came to a point where I was scared of anything todo with sex, and it's only in the last year I have been able to rediscover myself and mhy own sexuality, turn on's and turn off's.

    My job also means I need to keep a certian amount of discresion.

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