• How do you like to be spanked?

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    Still pretty new to BDSM I love to be spanked, flogged or whipped with a crop.

    He tends to spank me while we are having sex but I watch a lot of humiliation spanking porn alone. In the films I watch it tends to be OTK and lots of slaps that aren't quite as hard, is this to build up a resistance to the pain/ increase the pleasure?

    I really want to be punished and "shown up" for being naughty or getting something wrong. How can I bring it up with him?

    How do you like to be spanked? Do you count them or get lots of slaps for a longer period of time?

    I really want to shout stop and no and for him to continue on anyway but fear he will stop as he wont want to hurt me or do things against my will.

    Why is it I can talk about sex all day long without fear or embarrassment but find it harder to discuss fantasises if they are new?

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    If you want to engage in coercive sex, this say no or stop when you don't mean it then you use an agreed safe word, something that you would never say during sex like cornflakes. tell your OH what you want and tell him you will use your safe word if you need to.

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    Absolutely right. This is what safety words are designed for! You can also make a BDSM contract together that outlines exactly what you're both comfortable with and each other's bounderies to make absolutely sure you're both okay with things before you start. I also have a 'slow down' or 'slightly too much' safe word so that we can keep going but my partner gets that it's going a bit over the top.x

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes build up, start gentle and go until you don't like it then use you agreed safe word. Just sit him down in a quiet moment and just say " you know I have been having some naughty thoughts how would you feel about doing this for me, I will understand if yyou don't like the idea, but it is something I have been wanting to try. Then reasure him he won't be doing anything you don't want.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    The how is very personal and it's fun to work out what you like, rather than following someone elses rules that work for them.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    The fantacies thing, get you and you OH to write things you might like down on individual pieces of paper, fould them up and put them in two bowls; then, each take turns to take out a note and say yes or no or I want to think about it. and put them in piles or 3 bowls, then choose on at random from tthe bowl with notes you both like, and plan it.

    Then later you may put one from the other piles into the yes bowl; but don't either of you take refusals personally we all like different things; but we should be able to hear somes fantacies without getting upset, and still feel ok to say no. Going outside of the 2 of you is something to be careful of, another person in the mix can be dangerous if you are not totally onboard with the idea.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Gem276 wrote:

    Still pretty new to BDSM I love to be spanked, flogged or whipped with a crop.

    He tends to spank me while we are having sex but I watch a lot of humiliation spanking porn alone. In the films I watch it tends to be OTK and lots of slaps that aren't quite as hard, is this to build up a resistance to the pain/ increase the pleasure?

    I really want to be punished and "shown up" for being naughty or getting something wrong. How can I bring it up with him?

    How do you like to be spanked? Do you count them or get lots of slaps for a longer period of time?

    I really want to shout stop and no and for him to continue on anyway but fear he will stop as he wont want to hurt me or do things against my will.

    Why is it I can talk about sex all day long without fear or embarrassment but find it harder to discuss fantasises if they are new?

    While I am logged on I thought I would chip in.

    The easiest way we found to introduce spanking away from the erotic or sensual type as used in forplay is to role play.

    This gets away from having to do something wrong in realtiy to get punished for it , Which I think could get out of hand.as it did in our case and I had to replace a lot of crockery !

    Instead of this we tried roleplaying . Quite simple a naughty female college student who needs to be taught a lesson. Very simple to do , a punsihment detention for messing up the homework, bullying ,smoking , your choice really. Decide on how many strokes you want of the hand,pandle ,ridkngcrop but not the cane before you start. Improvise the dialogue and then you get bent over and hit accordingly in your agreed state of dress or undress . Quite simple to do but BOTH of you must be happy in playing the roles.Safe words are essential for any form of BDSM .Think safety .

    The reason for starting sofly is to encourage blood to move to that area , to help minimise bruising when imlpements or harder hand spanks are later used.

    Right end of break and back to work !

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    So much for taking a break from here hey Mysteron. It's hard not to want to help when you feel you can make a difference for some one.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    alone4ever wrote:

    So much for taking a break from here hey Mysteron. It's hard not to want to help when you feel you can make a difference for some one.

    You right its not working very well !

    But heyho I am at work so I can justify a break so its no messing with my hobby .

    I don't want to go to the length of closing my account and then rehinstating myself as a new account.

    1457993884
    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you guys! We have just taken the fantasy questionnaire so I think this will be the perfect opportunity to talk some more!

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    Orangeboom [sign in to see picture]
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    It is soo important to have a peer to peer conversation prior to doing this. Role play into spanking/bondage. For reasons already stated. You don't want to spoil the session by breaking the illusion and having g to have a conversation whilst you're in your 'roles' and you need to be safe throughout. Sit down, relax. Be out of context on the sofa in your comfies and just have a conversation about it. Goals, desires, what you like, what you don't like. Any buzz words and safe words. Maybe watch some porn together that you like to give him an idea of what you get off on.
    On this subject we sometimes have punishment days so we set out chores for the week and if they have not been completed adequately then that's 10 strokes per chore on the punishment day for instance.
    In terms of the spanking itself, always warm up with light strokes. It's effectively a large plate of muscle and if you just start thwacking it, your flight or fight response will kick in as it will be a shock to your system. Start off with soft smacks and kneeding so your body realises it's not under attack. You'll stay much more relaxed, it will feel better and you will last longer.

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    We have shown each other each other what kind of porn we like which was interesting and exposing at the same time! Obviously, it was also really hot so there was round 2 of glorious sex!

    We are talking more about things too which is great, I think I have surprised him as although I'm pretty confident in person and really openly talk about sex then sharing fantasies had been much more exposing and made me feel somewhat vulnerable but I'm loving that we are getting to know each other on an even deeper level!

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