• Helping my OH relax

    1456937362
    Painte [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys,

    I looking for some ideas for helping my OH relax.

    She is new to the world of toys as I've mentioned before and loving our foray into them. However, she has never had any kind of penetration before so we are taking things quite slow and I'm trying to get her relaxed. She's not scared its just very alien.

    The problem ( if you can call it that) is that she is very sensitive all over and ends up in fits of giggles because she gets so ticklish. Stroking/ kissing skin is out of the question as within minutes she is hyper sensitive- even massages on occasions.

    Does anyone have any advice or suffer with hyper sensitivity themselves that could offer some help?

    Thanks

    1456954568
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi there

    Fellow ticklish person here. When I first got together with my OH his tender touches led to much giggling and fidgeting by me which was certainly not his intention. I did eventually get used to being touched in places I hadn't before.

    What worked for me was him kissing me passionately on the mouth before and during touching my body to take my mind off the tickles. Same with me touching and stroking myself first so that I was used to the skin contact meant it wasn't unexpected so by the time he touched me I was starting to get turned on and didn't feel ticklish anymore. Also me moving his hand with my hand on top to the areas I wanted to be touched meant I was in control and could adapt his touch and show him what and where I liked.

    A warm candlelit soak in the bath with relaxing bath oil/ bubbles and then going into a cozy heated candlelit room with some chill out tunes on low and then a wee while cuddling under the covers to get warm before the fun began helped me to relax too.

    Maybe try massage again but with a firmer longer stroke and get some lovely relaxing massage oils to see is that works and try to avoid the really tickly bits.

    Hope this helps x

    1456959545
    Painte [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for the advice.

    I like the idea of distracting with kisses the logic behind that really works!... Her moving with me so she's in control is a great idea... She can move me away or divert if she starts getting to sensitive.

    Have tried being a little firmer with massaging before but I think I'm still too gentle... Will have to practice!

    Thanks again

    1457031635
    Sweet Cherries [sign in to see picture]
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    You could try a plastic handheld massager, with little round plastic knobs. Keep the pressure firm too avoid tickling.

    Or, you could give her oral, the more turned on a woman is, the easier insertion becomes. After she orgasms, you could then keep up a string of dirty talk to keep her distracted.

    The fact that she wants to means that half the battle is won!

    Have you ever asked her how she likes to relax? Might be worth a conversation..

    1457039317
    Painte [sign in to see picture]
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    Ooh... I like the hand held tickler idea... That's a definite possibility. If I ask her how she likes to relax . I know what the answer will be... Read a book!

    Relaxing to get in the mood is not so much of an issue it's keeping her relaxed. She has some serious body confidence issues and tenses up... I think she's gorgeous and so sexy but she struggles sometimes. So keeping her relaxed or getting her to a deeper state of relaxation sometimes is hard... If that makes sense?

    1457041363
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    You could try giving a massage with the help of a body wand. They are very relaxing. Cover part of her body with a towel to help with body confidence issues .

    1457041901
    Sweet Cherries [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    So distraction is key, hmmm. Scents? Candles to keep her eyes looking around? Music, maybe music she knows the lyrics to so she can sing them and be caught up in that.

    Her mind moves quickly? Keep it chasing other things. She's a reader, she likes stories, tell her sexy stories, let her fantasise. That will help too.

    Keep that mind too busy to focus on the sex toys and her body issues. Keep up a constant stream of words about her body makes you hard and how you think about her all day etc.

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