• Squirting?

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    Kazamarie wrote:

    All you ladies are so lucky. Well I won't give up trying x

    In the same boat as you, still waiting.........

    1456111420
    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    popk1n wrote:

    ahh so you're in an unfortunate catch-22 because you want to have the full fulfilling package, but then if you do have sex and don't orgasm, your past experiences make you feel used, so then it's back to let's not do penetration, but then you feel unsatisfied and want the full experience and it cycles round creating pressure.

    [...]

    I guess the determination to be in control might make you feel worse because that's precisely what you feel you don;t have, even when you are actively trying to get the control.

    [...] and you are equals [...]

    Woaw I feel like you really got my probleme even with the so little explainations I gave about it.

    And about what you said after that, I know that my partner does not use me, I just feel used sometimes. He can't even enjoy sex if I don't find it pleasurable, sometimes I find he is thinking too much about me.

    We tried once to do as you suggest, it was really great but ended up with him cumming while I was close (because He was sure I was having an orgasm and wanted to make things even better by having us have simultaneous orgasms). This ended up in frustration for both end led me to want an orgasm every time. Also, I don't feel like it's right to tell women that they don't have to have an orgasm everytime they have sex and that it's normal if they don't, I find it sexist. So that's a problem too because i'm too concerned about not having orgasms and I feel that if I accept not having one every time i'm lowering my standard like I previously did uncounscously for a long time.

    Now sex is really stressful for both of us and we barely want to initiate it because we are afraid one or both of us is gonna end up being sad.

    I really hope seeing a therapist is gonna help. I previously did for the same problem and it did not help as much as I would have liked (it only helped me understand that my bf is a good person who doesn't want to hurt nor use me)

    Thanks for your undertanding of it and your advices.

    And yea sorry CJ haha

    I wasn't saying your partner does use you, don't worry! He sounds like a lovely and caring guy :)

    If you tried once and it was great, it sounds like it would have ended great if he hadn't of tried to go the extra mile of simulataneous orgasms. So why not try it again? As long as you don't try to tackle everything at once, like leave perfecting the simultaneous for a later date, there's no reason you can't get close again, but this time he lasts that little bit longer and you manage it! :D don't be afraid of a second try!

    And I only say it's ok for a woman to not orgasm everytime because fact is, you won't orgasm every time. I average 2-3 orgasms every session with my partner, but on occasion I don't orgasm. That's not my partner's fault, some days my lady bits just feel unco-operative. And that's ok! I still enjoy non-orgasm sex too. If you're partner tries their absolute best to succeed in your pleasure, then a lack of orgasm doesn't have to mean you're lowering your standards. Effort should be appreciated as much, if not more, as the end result.

    on a side note, Biologically, men are designed to orgasm to fertilise the egg, so it makes sense that they often find it easier. If they couldn't orgasm, our species would die. But women don't have to orgasm to reproduce, so biologically for us orgasms are a bonus, not a necessity in the same way men's orgasms are... not to say that men's orgasms are more important than ours ;) but in evolutionary terms, that's why things are how they are. Also, it isn't that sexist to say "don't worry if you don't orgasm every time" if a man doesn't think he's going to come on that day, thats cool as well, not just with woman. For me personally, yes when my guy comes, that tends to be the end of sex, but not because he's more important, just because I find it to be a good marker for the end. Like, at what point do you just go "ok, let's just stop now" lol, that makes it sound like you're bored. And the end means cuddles yay.

    Fingers crossed the therapy helps. Persistence is key. Maybe your boyfriend could try to be a form of therapsit too? A constant tackle against the mindset might break it down quicker. If too long lies between therapist visits, does that give too much time to fall backwards again? Though I don't claim to be an expert of course! Best of luck, mamz :) sorry for long reply

    1456113056
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    popk1n wrote:

    mamz wrote:

    popk1n wrote:

    ahh so you're in an unfortunate catch-22 because you want to have the full fulfilling package, but then if you do have sex and don't orgasm, your past experiences make you feel used, so then it's back to let's not do penetration, but then you feel unsatisfied and want the full experience and it cycles round creating pressure.

    [...]

    I guess the determination to be in control might make you feel worse because that's precisely what you feel you don;t have, even when you are actively trying to get the control.

    [...] and you are equals [...]

    Woaw I feel like you really got my probleme even with the so little explainations I gave about it.

    And about what you said after that, I know that my partner does not use me, I just feel used sometimes. He can't even enjoy sex if I don't find it pleasurable, sometimes I find he is thinking too much about me.

    We tried once to do as you suggest, it was really great but ended up with him cumming while I was close (because He was sure I was having an orgasm and wanted to make things even better by having us have simultaneous orgasms). This ended up in frustration for both end led me to want an orgasm every time. Also, I don't feel like it's right to tell women that they don't have to have an orgasm everytime they have sex and that it's normal if they don't, I find it sexist. So that's a problem too because i'm too concerned about not having orgasms and I feel that if I accept not having one every time i'm lowering my standard like I previously did uncounscously for a long time.

    Now sex is really stressful for both of us and we barely want to initiate it because we are afraid one or both of us is gonna end up being sad.

    I really hope seeing a therapist is gonna help. I previously did for the same problem and it did not help as much as I would have liked (it only helped me understand that my bf is a good person who doesn't want to hurt nor use me)

    Thanks for your undertanding of it and your advices.

    And yea sorry CJ haha

    I wasn't saying your partner does use you, don't worry! He sounds like a lovely and caring guy :)

    If you tried once and it was great, it sounds like it would have ended great if he hadn't of tried to go the extra mile of simulataneous orgasms. So why not try it again? As long as you don't try to tackle everything at once, like leave perfecting the simultaneous for a later date, there's no reason you can't get close again, but this time he lasts that little bit longer and you manage it! :D don't be afraid of a second try!

    And I only say it's ok for a woman to not orgasm everytime because fact is, you won't orgasm every time. I average 2-3 orgasms every session with my partner, but on occasion I don't orgasm. That's not my partner's fault, some days my lady bits just feel unco-operative. And that's ok! I still enjoy non-orgasm sex too. If you're partner tries their absolute best to succeed in your pleasure, then a lack of orgasm doesn't have to mean you're lowering your standards. Effort should be appreciated as much, if not more, as the end result.

    on a side note, Biologically, men are designed to orgasm to fertilise the egg, so it makes sense that they often find it easier. If they couldn't orgasm, our species would die. But women don't have to orgasm to reproduce, so biologically for us orgasms are a bonus, not a necessity in the same way men's orgasms are... not to say that men's orgasms are more important than ours ;) but in evolutionary terms, that's why things are how they are. Also, it isn't that sexist to say "don't worry if you don't orgasm every time" if a man doesn't think he's going to come on that day, thats cool as well, not just with woman. For me personally, yes when my guy comes, that tends to be the end of sex, but not because he's more important, just because I find it to be a good marker for the end. Like, at what point do you just go "ok, let's just stop now" lol, that makes it sound like you're bored. And the end means cuddles yay.

    Fingers crossed the therapy helps. Persistence is key. Maybe your boyfriend could try to be a form of therapsit too? A constant tackle against the mindset might break it down quicker. If too long lies between therapist visits, does that give too much time to fall backwards again? Though I don't claim to be an expert of course! Best of luck, mamz :) sorry for long reply

    You're an awesome person!

    Thanks for all those advices, I really like the way you think and it help me to see things from a different perspective my bf can no longer offer because I have dragged him down with me.

    I agree for most part, except I don't like the part about biology because I agree with it and that's a part of what makes me think sex is for men. We are not made to have fun having sex, while men are. I don't see why we would have an equal orgasm potential if it's this way. That is something that often brings me down again when I feel I am getting better (because it almost never lasts).

    It is ok not to orgasm every time if you usually do 2-3 almost every other times, but if you're used to comming once like half of the time that's not acceptable in my opinion. And of course guys don,t care when they can't come, because it is so uncommun for them, but I am pretty sure if it happened more often they would get frustrated too, and because they are thaught that they diserve everything they want in bed because they are male. Of course I am generalizing but I was once with a guy that would be really mad at me when I asked him to stop having sex because it was painful, and i'm sure I know plenty of guys who would react the same.

    And for the "when to stop" thing, I can say that with my partner it is very natural. When we have sex it sometimes ends in a very natural way without him cumming (of course not the opposit because I wouldn't be in a good mood,. I have to say that most of the time he only wants to give to me without recieving back). The mood just goes from being very intense to very lovely and then we cuddle and slowly stop doing anything sexual without even thinking about it because we both feel that we simply had enough. I like it like that. 

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    And I was saying that I know that he doesn't want to use me because in the past we had issues with that as I often felt like all he wanted is to have sex and that he couldn't be so sweet if it wasn't to get what he wanted from me. As I said, I really came a long way :P It is sad that some boys had led me to be so suspcicious about every man, even the best ones.

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    Bunniebasher [sign in to see picture]
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    I have managed to bring my wife to squirting in the past with normal vibrators but took a while to get there, I did my first LH purchase couple of weeks ago which was the mains powered wand, can't believe how quick she squirted while I used it on her, 5-10 minutes at most and oh the pvc sheet got a good soaking, then I did another order on Saturday which included the g-spot attachment, and wow, took a little bit longer but let's just say I got covered that time as well :).

    1456474927
    Kazamarie [sign in to see picture]
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    Bunniebasher wrote:

    I have managed to bring my wife to squirting in the past with normal vibrators but took a while to get there, I did my first LH purchase couple of weeks ago which was the mains powered wand, can't believe how quick she squirted while I used it on her, 5-10 minutes at most and oh the pvc sheet got a good soaking, then I did another order on Saturday which included the g-spot attachment, and wow, took a little bit longer but let's just say I got covered that time as well :).

    Me thinks maybe I ought to give this mains powered wand a go then 😉. I'll try anything to do it x
    1456516682
    Bunniebasher [sign in to see picture]
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    I love making my wife squirt or gush, she is quit happy to climax with just me in her but not always the case as a bit quick most of the time, think winky gets too excited :(

    1456705412
    August_A&R [sign in to see picture]
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    Kazamarie wrote:

    Bunniebasher wrote:

    I have managed to bring my wife to squirting in the past with normal vibrators but took a while to get there, I did my first LH purchase couple of weeks ago which was the mains powered wand, can't believe how quick she squirted while I used it on her, 5-10 minutes at most and oh the pvc sheet got a good soaking, then I did another order on Saturday which included the g-spot attachment, and wow, took a little bit longer but let's just say I got covered that time as well :).

    Me thinks maybe I ought to give this mains powered wand a go then 😉. I'll try anything to do it x

    I really want to get Mrs August to squirt, if it really is possible for every woman. Are mains wands really that much better than battery ones?

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    WazNaz [sign in to see picture]
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    From a males point of view.. Yes Squirting orgasms are so much more intense than normal female orgasms, just for want of a better phrase seem to be more indepth and really take a hold of her (the mrs)

    Quite surprised by most replies linking to vibrators to achieve it, Im not showing off here (thats really not me lol) but i would say a good 75% of her squirting times has been through hard sex and finger play with Oral, infact two weeks ago i combined all three swapping between each and although i was absolutley knackered by the end and almost lost use of my arm the effect on the mrs was more indepth to the extent she squirted twice drenching two towels and orgasmed atleast three times as i felt and was almost passed out in pleasure on the bed for the following hour and half, she was quivering for atleast ten minutes also

    As an aside i think men are overlooked slightly on this, well alot in fact, i cant remmeber the amount of times ive made the mrs fully orgasm and i know in 6 years ive deffinatley made her squirt into the double figures yet as discussed after the other week, she still feels guilty that in this time shes only made me have what i percieve to be a full male orgasm twice, basically to the point of becoming like i describe her above, i seem to be whether willing or not severely hard work and once ive cum it kind of kills it and stops play completly, i am one of these men that unfortunately cant 'go again' straight after etc and she struggles to take things consistenly slow as she loves to see and feel me cum

    Mamz i really think your taking it all the wrong way, just because he has cum inside you doesnt mean he has had his fun and your left short, i know alot of guys would like a quick shag and then move to the tv etc but some guys (like me and possibly your partner for all you know) are the type where a full drawn out session IS the be all and end all but like above i think its harder for men to achieve the orgasm themselves and can i just say if im attempting to make the mrs properly orgasm or just get her squeeling and then i cum that ruins MY night and focussing on it too much ive learnt can screw hardness/ ability

    maybe im just sex ability focussed too much lol, the mrs has said before that i spend so much time trying to make her happy that i missout myself but i honestly dont mind as shes give me such a varried sex life in our time together that i know i would never get better elsewhere letalone the rest of the package, the main thing in a couple sex life has got to be a full varied sex life even if you only do a thing once.

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