• Newbie with questions!

    1455465164
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Everyone!

    I've made a few purchases from here over the past year or so, so I decided to join in!

    I used to be very vanilla with the OH, but we've tried spicing it up since our relationship is long term and at the comfort stage! I'm new to a lot of things, but I think the lovely lovehoney community can shed some light for a new starter!

    I have a few things already, but I'm wondering what works for others. I have a low sex drive because of this daft contraception I'm on, so getting me there can be a bit tougher than it was in the past! Foreplay is the key here, but does anyone have any general advice on how to make things less frustrating?

    Have a loveeeely day! And Happy Valentines!

    1455465884
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    You could try an orgasm balm to heighten sensitivity in your clitoris. These ones are great:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25360

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33030

    You could also use a pussy pump or a clit clamp to increase sensation. Clit clamps are less fiddly, imo, as it can take a few goes to get a pump the right size/shape for your body. With the clamp you would leave it on for a little while then take it off, and it's that blood rush when you take it off that increases your sensitivity. This one is a really easy to use design and cheap too:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31537

    You could then add in a vibrator or vibrating cock ring if you'd like :)

    1455466434
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    1455467233
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    These seem interesting! I've had a balm before but it left me burning! I always thought clamps to be a bit frightening, but I might give it a go! I have a cock ring but the Mr is very reluctant as he isn't a fan of restriction, he couldn't stay hard with condoms either but I'll keep pursauding him! Thanks!

    1455467292
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    I've never tried them as they look torturous! Perhaps if you go to the item page, there will be an explanation!

    1455468068
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    immy wrote:

    I've never tried them as they look torturous! Perhaps if you go to the item page, there will be an explanation!

    I did and I watch the video and red the review and all but have not find the answer :P Both option seem odd to me in a way and right in another way too so i'm wondering.

    1455468263
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    Perhaps have some time to yourself and give it a try in a few ways and see what works best! I think most toys work for people in different ways and it's more about experimenting! Have fun!

    1455472693
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    You know I have no idea. I don't think there is a right answer here, tbh, as whatever direction the heart is facing the clamp will still be doing it's job in the clit. When lying down, I have the heart doing down over the vulva. When standing, I've had it hanging down altogether or tucked inside my panties again pointing towards my bottom. It feels more natural to me to have it pointing down rather than up, but if it's more comfortable to have it pointing up then I can't see the harm.

    Immy, they do look a bit torturous! But they don't hurt at all and the only torture is the good kind of torture, haha.

    1455473152
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    mamz wrote:

    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    You know I have no idea. I don't think there is a right answer here, tbh, as whatever direction the heart is facing the clamp will still be doing it's job in the clit. When lying down, I have the heart doing down over the vulva. When standing, I've had it hanging down altogether or tucked inside my panties again pointing towards my bottom. It feels more natural to me to have it pointing down rather than up, but if it's more comfortable to have it pointing up then I can't see the harm.

    Immy, they do look a bit torturous! But they don't hurt at all and the only torture is the good kind of torture, haha.

    The thought makes my eyes water and I thought us guys had it bad with a urethral dilater .

    They all look like torture instruments to me especially as I am rather squeamish ! Lol

    1455473502
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    mamz wrote:

    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    You know I have no idea. I don't think there is a right answer here, tbh, as whatever direction the heart is facing the clamp will still be doing it's job in the clit. When lying down, I have the heart doing down over the vulva. When standing, I've had it hanging down altogether or tucked inside my panties again pointing towards my bottom. It feels more natural to me to have it pointing down rather than up, but if it's more comfortable to have it pointing up then I can't see the harm.

    Immy, they do look a bit torturous! But they don't hurt at all and the only torture is the good kind of torture, haha.

    The thought makes my eyes water and I thought us guys had it bad with a urethral dilater .

    They all look like torture instruments to me especially as I am rather squeamish ! Lol

    It looks fun to me, it exposes the clit for greater stimulation, increases the bloodflow and add an extra stimulation when it moves.

    I never understood what was the thing about urethral dilater. I don't get what it is supposed to do and if I understand how you are supposed to use it it looks so painfull!

    1455473831
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    mamz wrote:

    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    You know I have no idea. I don't think there is a right answer here, tbh, as whatever direction the heart is facing the clamp will still be doing it's job in the clit. When lying down, I have the heart doing down over the vulva. When standing, I've had it hanging down altogether or tucked inside my panties again pointing towards my bottom. It feels more natural to me to have it pointing down rather than up, but if it's more comfortable to have it pointing up then I can't see the harm.

    Immy, they do look a bit torturous! But they don't hurt at all and the only torture is the good kind of torture, haha.

    This is how I wear mine.... They can be a little fiddly to get in place the first few times but practice makes perfect x

    1455476420
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    mamz wrote:

    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    You know I have no idea. I don't think there is a right answer here, tbh, as whatever direction the heart is facing the clamp will still be doing it's job in the clit. When lying down, I have the heart doing down over the vulva. When standing, I've had it hanging down altogether or tucked inside my panties again pointing towards my bottom. It feels more natural to me to have it pointing down rather than up, but if it's more comfortable to have it pointing up then I can't see the harm.

    Immy, they do look a bit torturous! But they don't hurt at all and the only torture is the good kind of torture, haha.

    mysteron wrote:

    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    mamz wrote:

    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    You know I have no idea. I don't think there is a right answer here, tbh, as whatever direction the heart is facing the clamp will still be doing it's job in the clit. When lying down, I have the heart doing down over the vulva. When standing, I've had it hanging down altogether or tucked inside my panties again pointing towards my bottom. It feels more natural to me to have it pointing down rather than up, but if it's more comfortable to have it pointing up then I can't see the harm.

    Immy, they do look a bit torturous! But they don't hurt at all and the only torture is the good kind of torture, haha.

    The thought makes my eyes water and I thought us guys had it bad with a urethral dilater .

    They all look like torture instruments to me especially as I am rather squeamish ! Lol

    I think I'll try one if a 3 for £10 pops up with one, so I don't have to worry too much hahaha!

    1455476529
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    mamz wrote:

    Lovebirds I have a question that I never found the right place to ask. I've been interested in trying clitoral clamps but I don't get how exactly you place it. does the side with the heart goes up your pubis or down your vulva?

    You know I have no idea. I don't think there is a right answer here, tbh, as whatever direction the heart is facing the clamp will still be doing it's job in the clit. When lying down, I have the heart doing down over the vulva. When standing, I've had it hanging down altogether or tucked inside my panties again pointing towards my bottom. It feels more natural to me to have it pointing down rather than up, but if it's more comfortable to have it pointing up then I can't see the harm.

    Immy, they do look a bit torturous! But they don't hurt at all and the only torture is the good kind of torture, haha.

    The thought makes my eyes water and I thought us guys had it bad with a urethral dilater .

    They all look like torture instruments to me especially as I am rather squeamish ! Lol

    I think I just get 'clothes peg' in mind though I'm sure that it is more gentle haha!

    1455480633
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    Psst, that clamp is in the 3 for £10...:D

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/special-offers/2862/

    1455544739
    KitsiKiki [sign in to see picture]
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    +1 to Lovebirds' original post. However, if you've tried a balm before and it just burned, maybe not that part. Can you remember which brand or do you still have the one you tried? If so, you can check its ingredients against others. A lot of them use essentially the same few key ingredients, so chances are they just aren't right for you unless you can find a very different kind.

    You might also consider trying the balm not directly on the clit or vulva, but on the labia majora, the perineum and the anus. It might surprise you.

    Perhaps a G-spot or tightening gel would suit you better. You might not be as sensitive (in that way) inside as opposed to outside. And they also can have an arousing effect. You could also take a punt at trying a tingling or warming lube; while they often use the same effective ingredients, they tend to be in lesser amounts and/or are muted by the water/silicone, so they might not burn.

    I love clamps- and no, they are only as torturous as you want them to be. Still, they aren't for everyone as they can be fiddly or some people find them uncomfortable or are just weirded out by the look/feel/concept.

    (And Mamz; as others above, the general idea is for the charm to dangle downwards, since if you are upright and have it pointing up, gravity pulls it which can make it really awkward/uncomfortable and liable to slip off. If you are lying down or have it tucked into your panties, then it doesn't matter so much. But wearing them upwards can facilitate wearing them during sex, so there's that. As with all things, you can find which way works best for you. )

    (Mysteron- No way! I'd say urethral dilators are in a completely different league; miles away; nothing at all like each other! Nothing to water your eyes about. Think of it this way: clit clamps are like cock rings for ladies. That is the direct comparison and entirely the same concept. No insertion, no pain unless you want it; simply restricts the outflow of blood to increase size, heat, colour, and sensation in the erectile tissues of the genitalia.)

    If you don't like the clamp, a pump might work for you. I haven't tried one yet (though it's on my list!) so I can't say anything more. Or just a different style of clamp. I admit, the tweezer-style is one of my least favourites, BUT they are probably a good place to start if you've never tried one: they tend to be more adjustable. And since you can get that one in the deal, I'd say go for it!

    1455545771
    KitsiKiki [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh, I also have to suggest... Have you tried spanking? Even if it's something you never considered to be of interest, you might just give it a little trial run. I didn't think it was something I'd ever be into until a few months ago, but now it's a regular part of our play. Sometimes when I'm turned on but having a little trouble getting wet, I have my SO spank or flog me. It really gets the blood pumping and the juices flowing and he loves watching me get wetter and wetter in real time.

    Still, if your troubles are caused by birth control, it might not be effective even if you like it.

    Don't answer if this is too personal, but are you on that one because you believe it's a lesser evil? Have you tried different kinds or methods and had worse troubles, making you reluctant to switch again?

    1455716403
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    Psst, that clamp is in the 3 for £10...:D

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/special-offers/2862/

    Already in my basket ;)!!

    1455716517
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    KitsiKiki wrote:

    +1 to Lovebirds' original post. However, if you've tried a balm before and it just burned, maybe not that part. Can you remember which brand or do you still have the one you tried? If so, you can check its ingredients against others. A lot of them use essentially the same few key ingredients, so chances are they just aren't right for you unless you can find a very different kind.

    You might also consider trying the balm not directly on the clit or vulva, but on the labia majora, the perineum and the anus. It might surprise you.

    Perhaps a G-spot or tightening gel would suit you better. You might not be as sensitive (in that way) inside as opposed to outside. And they also can have an arousing effect. You could also take a punt at trying a tingling or warming lube; while they often use the same effective ingredients, they tend to be in lesser amounts and/or are muted by the water/silicone, so they might not burn.

    I love clamps- and no, they are only as torturous as you want them to be. Still, they aren't for everyone as they can be fiddly or some people find them uncomfortable or are just weirded out by the look/feel/concept.

    (And Mamz; as others above, the general idea is for the charm to dangle downwards, since if you are upright and have it pointing up, gravity pulls it which can make it really awkward/uncomfortable and liable to slip off. If you are lying down or have it tucked into your panties, then it doesn't matter so much. But wearing them upwards can facilitate wearing them during sex, so there's that. As with all things, you can find which way works best for you. )

    (Mysteron- No way! I'd say urethral dilators are in a completely different league; miles away; nothing at all like each other! Nothing to water your eyes about. Think of it this way: clit clamps are like cock rings for ladies. That is the direct comparison and entirely the same concept. No insertion, no pain unless you want it; simply restricts the outflow of blood to increase size, heat, colour, and sensation in the erectile tissues of the genitalia.)

    If you don't like the clamp, a pump might work for you. I haven't tried one yet (though it's on my list!) so I can't say anything more. Or just a different style of clamp. I admit, the tweezer-style is one of my least favourites, BUT they are probably a good place to start if you've never tried one: they tend to be more adjustable. And since you can get that one in the deal, I'd say go for it!

    This is all helpful and good to think about. I've got a few warming lubes which i like a lot, so a might re-try a balm. I think the one I had was ordred from here, but I may have used too much or something.

    1455716677
    immy [sign in to see picture]
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    KitsiKiki wrote:

    Oh, I also have to suggest... Have you tried spanking? Even if it's something you never considered to be of interest, you might just give it a little trial run. I didn't think it was something I'd ever be into until a few months ago, but now it's a regular part of our play. Sometimes when I'm turned on but having a little trouble getting wet, I have my SO spank or flog me. It really gets the blood pumping and the juices flowing and he loves watching me get wetter and wetter in real time.

    Still, if your troubles are caused by birth control, it might not be effective even if you like it.

    Don't answer if this is too personal, but are you on that one because you believe it's a lesser evil? Have you tried different kinds or methods and had worse troubles, making you reluctant to switch again?

    I'm visiting my nurse soon, and I'm going to enquire about the IUD (none hormonal!) as it's still contraceptive but won't funk up my hormones! I hope it's a tad better cause my libido is suffering! I enjoy a spanking but even that, no matter how hard i concentrate on how it feels, won't always put me in the mood.

    1455723014
    KitsiKiki [sign in to see picture]
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    I hope everything goes well! I switched to the non-hormonal copper IUD over a year ago and never looked back. I'm glad to see it's getting more attention and becoming more popular... I'd be even happier to see a wider variety of non-hormonal methods become available, since the IUD isn't for everyone either.

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