• Gender/Sexuality breaking the mold

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanilla_Kink wrote:

    Yes mummymermaid! That is exactly what I am like x

    Phew iam normalish then ^^ i dont think i want a willy though..i like being a woman..but the thought of feeling what a man must be feeling during sex ..turns me on so much..i think thats why iam struggling with anal and other things sexually...seeing or trying to feel from the mans viewpoint and getting really turned on . Then my womans body lets me down as it doesnt feel as enjoyable as i think it should ..does that make sense? Xx
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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    A4E I know I just feel like whatever can be done to make the woman enjoy sex is gonna make men enjoy it even more so it can never be even

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Mummymermaid, again it makes sens to me and that's why I have the feeling sex is better for men, that and the fact that it is really easier for them to enjoy it and to orgasm

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Dont get me wrong though..i have several orgasms during sex and solo play and have a very enjoyable sexlife ..xxx

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't because I stress too much about it and i'm afraid I won't be satisfied until I feel I've had more pleasure than my partner (which turns me on and makes me want to jump on him to satisfy him as much as I am) but I feel like it is impossible.

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    phil [sign in to see picture]
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    I have found this thread very interesing and has got me to really think about myself. I cross dress, my profile pic shows me in my alter ego mode. I am very happily married with a wonderful supportive wife, yes I love to be in female clothes as much as possible. I am not gay, as in I don't fancy or feel sexually attracted to men, but I do strive to look as female as possible when out and about. I do have a curiosity to gay sex but only for the what is it like to be penetrated by a real penis. Yes I do have plugs, didoes and other anal toys, yes wife does peg me that I enjoy. So the bottom line is how do I fit into this world of having to conform to a pidgeon hole ?

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    phil wrote:

    I have found this thread very interesing and has got me to really think about myself. I cross dress, my profile pic shows me in my alter ego mode. I am very happily married with a wonderful supportive wife, yes I love to be in female clothes as much as possible. I am not gay, as in I don't fancy or feel sexually attracted to men, but I do strive to look as female as possible when out and about. I do have a curiosity to gay sex but only for the what is it like to be penetrated by a real penis. Yes I do have plugs, didoes and other anal toys, yes wife does peg me that I enjoy. So the bottom line is how do I fit into this world of having to conform to a pidgeon hole ?

    I have come to the conclusion that it's the world that wants me in a pidgeon hole so that I don't offend sensabilities. But as VK pointed out there isn't one to fit me so I stand off to the side, and be me; I just send part of me to fit into the box of straight male to keep the status quo, but I hate it.

    It means I have to be alone because I won't hide it from a partner; and have yet to meet some one who will love me for me.

    What is gay anyway but a label so people can put you where they want you. So wanting to know what a real penis feels like just means it's somthing you may like to try; doesn't mean you will or you won't, or make you anything to put a label on.

    If you want to know, it's more the fact that it's real flesh and blood, and alive, and is there because the guy finds you arousing and wants you that way, more than the actual feel of it. if you ever try do it so you can see the guy in a mirrror with you and you will see what I mean.

    Loving the hair, and you are braver than me to post your photo. You are you and you have a wife who loves and supports you the way you are. At least I have met someone who has what I want.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    mummymermaid wrote:

    Vanilla_Kink wrote:

    Yes mummymermaid! That is exactly what I am like x

    Phew iam normalish then ^^ i dont think i want a willy though..i like being a woman..but the thought of feeling what a man must be feeling during sex ..turns me on so much..i think thats why iam struggling with anal and other things sexually...seeing or trying to feel from the mans viewpoint and getting really turned on . Then my womans body lets me down as it doesnt feel as enjoyable as i think it should ..does that make sense? Xx

    Try putting your hand on your bits, lift two fingers and ask your OH to give them a blow job; connect in your mind the two sensations, and with your eys closed just let your self go. you could also try finger anal play , if OH is up for. and press your body against his ass as you play; and use your mind to join the dots.

    Mamz; huggs honey, you sound like you need some.

    VK thanks, I don't feel so alone any more, hugs for you too. and others who have posted here.

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    Ashley22 [sign in to see picture]
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    There are so many sexualities / gender identities other than gay, bi, straight or man, woman. I really recommend checking out Ashley Mardell's youtube channel as she has a ton of information on those topics.

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    phil [sign in to see picture]
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    alone4ever, thanks for your reply and the complement. I don't feel brave for posting my picture, I have had years of hiding my other side and have decided that I am not going to any more. Society especially recently has changed a lot to a greater acceptance of trans people and a range of legistration passed to protect minorities, so I have gone for it.

    I am next week going to post pictures of myself in a range of Lovehomey's undies so if you are interested please have a look.

    Having said all of the above I still feel that being a trans person is still very difficult to gain overall acceptance in society as a whole. A large number of big companies have put in place codes of practice to their staff to make trans people welcome and above all safe on their premises but it is still a uphill struggle. So I am doing my bit and hoping the future will get better.

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    Vanilla_Kink [sign in to see picture]
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    alone4ever wrote:

    mummymermaid wrote:

    Vanilla_Kink wrote:

    Yes mummymermaid! That is exactly what I am like x

    Phew iam normalish then ^^ i dont think i want a willy though..i like being a woman..but the thought of feeling what a man must be feeling during sex ..turns me on so much..i think thats why iam struggling with anal and other things sexually...seeing or trying to feel from the mans viewpoint and getting really turned on . Then my womans body lets me down as it doesnt feel as enjoyable as i think it should ..does that make sense? Xx

    Try putting your hand on your bits, lift two fingers and ask your OH to give them a blow job; connect in your mind the two sensations, and with your eys closed just let your self go. you could also try finger anal play , if OH is up for. and press your body against his ass as you play; and use your mind to join the dots.

    Mamz; huggs honey, you sound like you need some.

    VK thanks, I don't feel so alone any more, hugs for you too. and others who have posted here.

    That's an amazing tip, I never would have thought to try that. Thank you :) im so glad you don't feel so alone *returns hug*
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    Vanilla_Kink [sign in to see picture]
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    phil wrote:

    alone4ever, thanks for your reply and the complement. I don't feel brave for posting my picture, I have had years of hiding my other side and have decided that I am not going to any more. Society especially recently has changed a lot to a greater acceptance of trans people and a range of legistration passed to protect minorities, so I have gone for it.

    I am next week going to post pictures of myself in a range of Lovehomey's undies so if you are interested please have a look.

    Having said all of the above I still feel that being a trans person is still very difficult to gain overall acceptance in society as a whole. A large number of big companies have put in place codes of practice to their staff to make trans people welcome and above all safe on their premises but it is still a uphill struggle. So I am doing my bit and hoping the future will get better.

    Exactly, the more people that are brave enough to be open about who they are now the more accepted it will become. As it should. It is so sad how many people are hiding their true selves because of fear. I only admitted a few days ago about being an autoandrophilia. It may have only been to the forum but it is a step in the right direction and everyone's openness and understanding has given me the confidence to accept who I am in a way I didn't before x
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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    We love you all as you are :)

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    VK I'm so glad this gave you the chance to express your inner self and find a new confidence in who you are, it has for me too. When I tried this before all people said was don't try to put a label on yourself, which is hard to do, especially as I'm trying to juggle 4. Now I have people who know how I feel and that has made a world of difference.

    Glad you like the tip, it comes from my masturbation fantacies; I often can't get and erection but still have all the feeling in it, so one day I started to imagine I had a vagina and the feeling of a man taking me, my other bit became my clit, and I had the most increadable multiple orgasm, and I could feel my imaginary man inside me. My hair stood on end all over my body and my insides just glowed with a feeling that went right to my finger and toe nails. The mind is truly powerful and can get you stuck in a bad place, or take you to heaven on earth.

    I think you would get more from a strapon than you might think; my friend put it on for the first time and just walked arround the room like a Peacock that had just fanned his tail for the first time, saying aww wow this feels great then stood in front of the mirror playing with her new anatomy like a true man. So get one if you can and send your mind down into it, even if you don't get to use it on a woman, you will be surprised how it wil change you if you let it. x

    Can't wait to see your pics Phil.

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    MrPink [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm pushing 60 so I've had a while to think about gender and sexuality. I've known I'm not your average hetero male all my life (not in sexual terms as a child, but definitely the feeling I'm not the same as others). Couldn't identify as gay, as I'm not especially into men; couldn't identify as transgender because that always used to imply going from 'all male' to 'all female'.

    Now I identify as non-binary and I feel a lot happier. Although there's a voice at the back of my mind saying it's a fudge, I do really feel more 'myself' when I can get to forget the whole gender package and not conform to normal expectations.

    I'm getting to grips with the idea that even as non-binary (possible especially as non-binary) that transition is possible and desirable to make me more like the image I have in my mind. In one sense I've already transitioned - I present as a bit of male and a bit of female; I wear a bra and have obvious boobs when I do. While I've dressed wholly as a woman, with skirts, dresses, stockings, heels and all that, it doesn't feel quite right, somehow.

    Oddly enough having been a man with boobs for about 7 years now, it hasn't freaked everybody out, and even Mrs Pink is quite accepting of most of the changes I've made. Sexually, it's a bit more difficult, as falling Testosterone levels and various illnesses have made it almost impossible for me to do my manly business as I used to. Ironically, I'm adopting a more feminine style of love-making when actually I quite enjoyed using my penis when I was physically more robust!

    Still, the bottom line is that we're none of us totally male or totally female, and if you accepot that to be a sliding scale, then many concepts of sexuality, like straight or gay, make less sense than when you have only male and female as your genders. I haven't explored the non-human side if things as mentioned above, but the overall principal seems much the same to me.

    With transgender being more mainstream nowadays and therefore more people admitting it, I can only hope we all accept thst ir's not just one thing or the other and though it can be difficult to get the answers, choosing a more fluid or ambiguous gender/sexuality is not wrong, perverse or bizarre. Meanwhile, the majority of us will feel more comfortable with traditional gender roles, which is aas it should be. Tolerance and understanding will help the minority not to feel alienated from that majority. Live and let live!

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok guys, I'm in need for a little support.

    I'm feeling really down these days because of that topic. I can't sleep nor work anymore because i'm feeling too depressed.

    I am so frustrated about being a woman. I think every thing in sex is better if you are a guy and every thing is made to turn you on and be pleasurable for you while it's the opposites for women. I don't want to get all the good and positive I can when having sex because I feel that this is like a consolation prize when for the guys everything is so pleasurable that they have to make a huge effort not to cum. I too wanna be on the edge of cumming all this time instead of being struggling to do. I want to be easily turned on and to easily get off. I don't want to be told things like "it's normal for girls", "you have to accept it and take the best from it" because you never tell such things to the guys, you don't have to because for them it's not a compromise, they just have it all already. I too want to have my main pleasure organ pleasures BY the main event of sex (and not during it simply to compensate for the lack of pleasure of the act).

    I don't think I will ever be able to feel satisfied by sex as I will always be persuaded that even if I feel satisfied, I would be even more as a man recieving the same stimulation. I feel so hopeless, feel that there is nothing I can do to get me out of that situation.

    I want to be a man so bad, but I don't feel like it's because I am not a woman. It's simply jealousy. I want to be a man because they have everything and I have nothing. I don't want to have an operation to become a man because even then I wouldn't have a real penis. I think even male to female trans can have better sex than a cis woman because all their organs are made from a freacking penis.

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    Vanilla_Kink [sign in to see picture]
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    Mamz I'm sorry you are feeling this way! It must be so frustrating for you as I know it can be for me. I try not to focus on it too much as it tends to make me feel a lot worse.
    I do honestly 'think' that female orgasms are longer lasting and sometimes more intense. I guess it's something no one can ever really know. I know my partner sometimes doesn't even know if he has cum whereas I always know.
    I wish I could offer some advice but I don't know what I can say. Please try not to let it bring you down, I know how much easier that is said then done though xx

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    Mamz, I felt jealousy toward guys when I was growing up too. I felt the way you describe it, that they have it all so easy, and having a penis must feel awesome. I grew out of it though and I'm sorry you haven't.

    I think being loved for who I am, with men that always made me feel like a true desirable woman, and in particular my husband's adoration for my 'womanness' and having achieved my first ever G-spot orgasm with him during only intercourse has helped. Also, I have talked with him honestly and openly about our orgasms as a man and as a woman. And he envies ours! From what he explained about his, women's orgasms seem better. I hope you'll get there!

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    im bigender :) but i see gender and sex ot be very differnt things, there are males and females which is set in stone, even hermaphrodites are actually one or the other, and its important to recognise this. but to me, gender is totally different, its a part of your personality and has nothing to with whether you have an innie or an outie. i dont feel like a girl or a woman, but i am female, i love my body, dispite it not conforming with my mental gender. I hope to raise my child to be who they are in their mind as opposed to their body. you have a vagina so you like pink is insane. i also dont see how gender and sexuality are connected. like a girls transitioning to a boy will like girls, why? what has his choice of genitals got to do with who he loves?

    personally i dont think there are even names for gender, or that gender is even a thing, its just a spectrum, some people are very "girly" (what has liking pink and ballet got to do with being a girl) its just our need to categorise people and label things. did you know pink used to be a very masculin colour and blue a very femenine colour. women started wearing pink to appear more masculin and demand respect.

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    This is an interesting one for me, not only personally but because my academic work is about eroticism and gender construction in art and something I've been studying for almost a decade now. Interestingly, the gender binary really is a western invention. Other cultures, India is a great example, actually operate with three gender systems which allows people to identify much more fluidly. I think there's also a reason a lot of these terms as we start look at gender fluidity are defined using ancient Greek terminology and roots, a society that seemed to have 'queer' concepts of love, bisexuality and polyamory. This is in strong opposition to Latin based cultures, particularly our own, that has the strict sexual policing of Roman laws that translated into the Judeo-Christian policing of sexual morality. If you're interested in reading and looking at this stuff more theoretically, which I really would recommend to anyone trying to understand how gender works, have a look at Judith Butler and Michel Foucault. They were the first to discuss gender as a construct and they convincingly pull apart modern notions of the binary role of genders.

    I identify as completely female and love all the wonderful things that come with it. I have always wanted children, always worn makeup and body clinging outfits and generally am comfortable with the identity. Being bisexual and a professionally dominant woman has meant that other people often call me 'bossy' and masculine. I can assure you this has nothing to do with how I self identify and is purely based on social constructions on what it means to be a woman and a man in society. I think when you are concerned with the feeling of the man in pornography, that might partly be because the videos are designed with the male viewer in mind and we have been somewhat trained to focus on male sexual pleasure when it comes to the visual world. Certainly, this isn't true in the bedroom and it isn't true in more 'feminist porn' but generally the visual tropes we use are intended to stimulate male arousal and that's how women have also been conditioned. THere's absolutely nothing wrong with that but it's not necessarily a fluid gender as much as social conditioning. That may not be how you chose to identify but it is something worth recognising.

    Now, I love using strap-ons with my female and male partners. Again, in that moment I am wholly a woman and simply love to know that my partner is enjoying the sex we have. I'm quite dominant with it and I like the taboo of being a woman that penatrates as well. There's something so erotic about it. Again though, I'm loathe to say that is because I feel more dominant as a 'man,' it assumes dominance is strictly a male trait and as I've said before, these categories are all completely made up. And before you say it's biology let me just suggest that it could be equally dominant to be a woman 'enveloping' a man but that's just not how our society has developed theoretically or linguistically. Even our words for female genitals are constructed to create these ideas of masculine dominance, vagina comes from the Latin word for the sheath for a sword (I'll let you guess what the sword is). The construction of gender is powerful but a contruction nonetheless and worth keeping in mind when we talk about gender fluidity.x

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