• Talking about others during sex/dirty talk?

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    Clublife [sign in to see picture]
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    So me & my husband are starting to explore some new sexual experiences.
    We've both divulged things we want to try & there's the usual; Public, 3/4 sum, toys, him receiving anal etc.
    But he's also said he wants to know when I find another guy- either in life or on tv- and he wants me to tell him what I'd want the guy to do to me. Or girl even, if I find a girl attractive.

    Has anyone done this?
    I've always thought he'd go mad if I said PHWOOR to seeing Channing Tatum on tv or Jamie Doran because their complete opposites of my husband. I know if he told me how sexy he finds someone like stick thin I'd be mortified- I'm a curvy girl whose on a weightloss journey & he's always told me he prefers chubby girls.

    Anyone else?x

    1455270048
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    It could be just a way of him inderiectly asking what your inner most fantasies are . Thats one reason we took up roleplaying as it enabled us to act out some of my wifes fantasies .

    I wouldn't go overboard though talking about other guys ,at some stage he may feel threatened or insecure. So just in moderations IMO.

    Oh welcome to the forums by the way

    1455271487
    Clublife [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks, I thought what better site to ask these things?! Lol!

    I think I'll find it abit awkward at first but hopefully get into the swing of things.

    We really are trying to explore each others wants & needs, something we've hardly done in our 8 years together xx

    1455272067
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Clublife wrote:

    Thanks, I thought what better site to ask these things?! Lol!

    I think I'll find it abit awkward at first but hopefully get into the swing of things.

    We really are trying to explore each others wants & needs, something we've hardly done in our 8 years together xx

    Very exciting times. We went through that some time ago . Funnily enough she got more kinkier before me through reading the Fifty Shades series of books , which would surprise some people if they found out especially her sister , as my Mrs was always the quiet innocent one.!

    1455276263
    Clublife [sign in to see picture]
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    I've always had a higher sex drive than him, but he's in a stressful military job so I understand that doesn't help.

    But I've always just wanted a quickie, rough & hard.

    He's away at the minute & we've been texting- which I find easier than talking, I feel I can be nore open. But we've been telling eachother things & he's really surprised me.

    I've told him that I'm not massively confident with my body & he needs to show me he finds me sexy, in the build up to sex- little gropes, hard kisses, sexy whispers during the day leading up to the actual sex. If I know he wants me & craves me then I think my confidence will be better, rather than him wanting it at that moment xx

    1455276879
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Another thing you could try if you arn't body confident is take it really slowly. Provided there are no kids about and not getting disturbed try havind a cuddle on the sofa in a warm room with dimmed lighting . Then as you kiss and cuddle slowly and very slowly undress each other and compliment each others body as you expose the bodies over the course of the evening. Then for the final act ask him to carry you to the bed.

    Guys are also stmulated by visual things so next time he is over check out together the lingerie section of Lovehooney. For example if its your tummy area ( like my Mrs) your not comfortable with then select a basque, corset or babydoll .and keep those on when you make love. After all there is no point in buying lengerie if its just going to be on the floor within minutes.

    Another words the bit of your body that you are not confident with just keep covered up .

    1455277140
    Clublife [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks mysteron, it is my belly area but he says he loves it & doesn't want it covered up. He does prefer me naked, rather than in any kind of lingerie- but it does make me feel sexier so will have to come to an agreement x

    1455277739
    Yummymummy :-* [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Clublife and welcome to the forum 😊

    Mysterons advice is excellent as always, I just wanted to say maybe just tell him about one or two people you fancy and judge his reaction. Channing Tatum is in Magic Mike tomorrow night...he deserves a mention 😀 I'm sure your husband will love you in whatever you choose to wear, the confidence you'll gain really makes up for the lack of nudity.

    Again welcome from another chubby lovehoney.

    1455278074
    Yummymummy :-* [sign in to see picture]
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    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35366

    This is on the tester list at the minute, I can't wait for the reviews, tummy covered but it suggests a lot. 😀

    1455280360
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Yummymummy :-* wrote:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35366

    This is on the tester list at the minute, I can't wait for the reviews, tummy covered but it suggests a lot. 😀

    Excellent choice I was looking at that for my Mrs but she already chose what she wanted .

    1455280500
    Clublife [sign in to see picture]
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    I love the look of that Yummy Mummy!!

    I've recently lost 3.5 stone, down from a size 22 to a size 16 so I've been left with abit of a loose tummy. He says he loves how my tits have not got smaller & how he loves how curvey I am.

    I just want him to show he fancies me throughout the day, rather than just pounce on me at the time he wants sex xx

    1455281425
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    if anything because you have lost weight your boobs would now be more emphasised .

    You could try getting sex on your terms perhaps a bit of denial and tease when he wants sex .

    You could also try dressing more sexily during the day. I don't mean wearing mini skirts . Things like skinny jeans that empasisies your rear. If you wear what Yummy Mummy has suggested that should bring you in a bit more. So wear tops that empasise your curves more. As you have lost weight llike me it should give you an era of confidence and more of an excuse for a wardrobe revamp.as most of your clothes if like mine are now too big for me .

    1455282331
    Clublife [sign in to see picture]
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    They are abit & I do love skinny jeans now I'm slimmer.
    In terms of a revamp, financially it's tight so difficult.
    We're going to have to budget in to get some sex toys at the end of the month as we both agree we want to try a double penetrator cock ring & I'd like a suction cup dildo, he would like an anal vibrator also- so our wish lists are getting longer by the day lol!!!

    1455282531
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Clublife wrote:

    They are abit & I do love skinny jeans now I'm slimmer.
    In terms of a revamp, financially it's tight so difficult.
    We're going to have to budget in to get some sex toys at the end of the month as we both agree we want to try a double penetrator cock ring & I'd like a suction cup dildo, he would like an anal vibrator also- so our wish lists are getting longer by the day lol!!!

    Sounds like youv'e got some fun on the agenda with that little tally . Just don't see it as an expense. View it as an investment in your relationship. Remember the more you put into an investment the more you get out of it. The same is true of a ralationship .

    1455282784
    Clublife [sign in to see picture]
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    That is a fab analogy and I'll be using that when we're both stressing about it, so thank you for that!

    Yes hopefully a lot of fun ahead!!

    1455282987
    Yummymummy :-* [sign in to see picture]
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    Congratulations on the weightloss you should be very proud of yourself. You sound like you're going to have lots of fun with your choices!

    As Mysteron says "You could try getting sex on your terms perhaps a bit of denial and tease when he wants sex ." This is brilliant but I do think it takes a bit of confidence...that's where the lingerie comes in for me. It gives me a boost.

    Mysteron I love the look of that!! I'm going to wait for the reviews first though. 😊

    1455283124
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Yummymummy :-* wrote:

    Congratulations on the weightloss you should be very proud of yourself. You sound like you're going to have lots of fun with your choices!

    As Mysteron says "You could try getting sex on your terms perhaps a bit of denial and tease when he wants sex ." This is brilliant but I do think it takes a bit of confidence...that's where the lingerie comes in for me. It gives me a boost.

    Mysteron I love the look of that!! I'm going to wait for the reviews first though. 😊

    Yep great idea . Its something I will get her later in the year probably around our anniversery .

    1455321148
    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    Not my cup of tea, like you I am not massively confident and I am bombarded enough in everyday life with the fact I don't have the "right" body to be attractive, my partner is the person that helps me overcome that a bit, I dont want him telling me about all the other women he finds attractive that look nothing like me :P

    However, we did once talk about this girl we going to have a threesome with and we trying to get used to the idea of having someone else in our bed for the first time. However, the talk wasn't like "oh she's so hot" it was "imagine what she will do to you" type thing, talking about ourselves in relation to her, as opposed to actually talking about her.

    1455568738
    Lou72 [sign in to see picture]
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    We started with just usual dirty talk which turned into sharing fantasies we both would like to try 3some, both mmf & mmf. But he then left it all to me to find both the lady and guy, saying he didn't mind who it was, I could bring home mates if I liked. I found it all a little daunting but rose to the challenge😊 we talked about boundaries and agreed best to be totally neutral so found dating site, then he got weird saying he was worried id run off with another bloke!!!! Have to say bit of a slap in the face

    1455582550
    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    Lou72 wrote:

    We started with just usual dirty talk which turned into sharing fantasies we both would like to try 3some, both mmf & mmf. But he then left it all to me to find both the lady and guy, saying he didn't mind who it was, I could bring home mates if I liked. I found it all a little daunting but rose to the challenge😊 we talked about boundaries and agreed best to be totally neutral so found dating site, then he got weird saying he was worried id run off with another bloke!!!! Have to say bit of a slap in the face

    tbf fantasies sometimes are better to remain as fantasies. As someone who has had a threesome, you need to 100% up for it, because seeing your partner be with someone else is the ultimate trust. Like watching him kissing someone else like he kisses you in your most intimate moments... it's surprisingly hard to watch. It's better he backed out early, than do it and let the jealousy/resentment linger and potentially tear you apart (not that my relationship got tore apart).

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