• Do i have too many sexual partners? Boyfriend thinks so...HELP!

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Agree with everyone else above me, I think you did the right thing here telling him where to go. You deserve someone who is mature enough to realize the only experience that matters is with them.

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    Sir Psycho Sexy [sign in to see picture]
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    How ridiculous, my wife has slept with significantly less people than I have, but it makes no difference whatsoever, it's not an issue, never was and never will be.
    This to me suggests your OH is very insecure and if I were you I would run for the hills because it will only get worse.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    i had debating what the hell I could really add to this but wanted to post a huge hug for standing up for yourself.

    1. He sounded like a complete immature jerk who treats number of sexual partners like some notch in his bedpost.

    2. His lack of confidence in the bedroom is not about number of partners but his ability to be open minded, responsive to a partner and willing to learn and grow as a person sexually. Going out and having a series of one nights to "get his number" up wont help that.

    3. My dear, you deserve better than that. I think you already figured it out.

    On a side note, my OH had been with more peopel than I had when we go together but frankly he wasn't that great in bed.... we learned together and grew together as a couple.

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    Diggin parks [sign in to see picture]
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    what a horrible situation to be put in. I think the porn addiction is numbing the real issue, it's not about the amount of people you have slept with it's the person you choose to settle down with, the person who is that special you choose them to be the last person you sleep with.

    Me and my friends used to be lads and had a run of trying to nail as many women as possible to "get our numbers up" so to speak, but when I met my now fiancé I realised how stupid that was, my mates were still trying to grab anything with a pulse I was having sex every single night with an amazing women, so yeah they have slept with more women, but I can promise you I had a lot more sex then them.

    Also I think this might open the door to " well you let me sleep with strange girls before" conversation further into your relationship.

    As you get older and are in a loving relationship the whole how many people have you slept conversation disappears.

    Personally I think you deserve better, anyone does.

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    IRWT [sign in to see picture]
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    JM88 wrote:

    If he really wanted to be with you then the number of previous partners would be irrelevant. Some men might find it daunting to be with a more experienced woman, but they would make the decision whether they can live with that or not.

    asking for permission to sleep with more women is just ridiculous. If i were you i would dump him there and then. It sounds like he just wants to play the field with the safety of knowing that he has you to come back to if he doesnt prefer any of these other women.

    This 100%!

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    VR [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Well done for giving him the boot, hun! You have done the right thing if you feel a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Don't answer his calls, find someone who will love and respect you for exactly who you are. He sounds terribly immature. Life is too short to be in an unhappy relationship.

    As I always say, you'll never find mr right if you are with mr wrong. Get out there and have fun! x

    Exactly.

    When you're happy and settled with someone you love (and really loves you), you can look back on this and heave a sigh of relief that you won't have wasted any more time and emotion on this bloke.

    Good luck finding Mr Right and remember most of us kiss quite a few frogs before we find our prince.

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Arajuna wrote:

    Hello again dear friends, thank you all so much for your support.

    Here is the update for those of you who are curious...

    I gave him the boot earlier and i got the classic 'Please, i love you, i need you to be happy, please just stay with me' response from it... i am sure ill be ignoring his calls for a while now. Im feeling much more in control now and feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest...obviously its hard, but im happy knowing ive come out of it early and not got hurt later down the line.

    Thank you to each and every one of you for embuing me with the confidence to make this decision easy. Your words have really meant the world to me and im so glad so many of you came to reach out to me and offer your knowledge. You guys are what makes this a real 'community'.

    Bless you all!

    xxx

    Hugs hug and more hugs, well done for getting rid of a childish crap person selfish in bed. You will find someone more deserving, now spoil yourself for a bit.

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Arajuna wrote:

    Hello again dear friends, thank you all so much for your support.

    Here is the update for those of you who are curious...

    I gave him the boot earlier and i got the classic 'Please, i love you, i need you to be happy, please just stay with me' response from it... i am sure ill be ignoring his calls for a while now. Im feeling much more in control now and feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest...obviously its hard, but im happy knowing ive come out of it early and not got hurt later down the line.

    Thank you to each and every one of you for embuing me with the confidence to make this decision easy. Your words have really meant the world to me and im so glad so many of you came to reach out to me and offer your knowledge. You guys are what makes this a real 'community'.

    Bless you all!

    xxx

    So pleased to read this! Your number says nothing about you other than that you slept with that many people. Experience is about more than numbers and any person who thinks they need to "get even" has a hell of a lot of growing up to do. His attitude doesn't mean he is a bad person but until he realises where he is going wrong and changes, it makes sense to stay away. He may never learn but hopefully your response will help him to see things differently and save some other person having to go through the same thing. Well done for having the confidence and self esteem to make the decision to walk away

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    Ruby Red Slippers [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry if this sounds too blunt, but I'd run a mile from this guy. Porn addict, judgemental of you, and wanting to sleep around (but not give you the same 'right')?! He sounds incredibly immature with unhealthy attitudes to sex and relationships and he sounds like he'll cause you drama and heartache. Sounds like he needs to sort out his own issues before getting involved with someone else. Totally your choice obviously, but I reckon you could do so much better.

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    Curiositycapturedbykink [sign in to see picture]
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    You did the right thing :D

    horrifys me to think that I would judge my OH on how many partners she's had, plane and simple I'm very sheltered when it came to my upbringing and hence never found myself in a situation I could explore she a much freer growing up, it's made neither of us any different and to be honest I'm glad we have had such different life's.

    Theres things in her past I still can't get my head round, I don't think any less of her, if anything I admire the gumption to be her own person and make her own choices.

    good on you, no matter how hard it is DONT speak to him, what can Phoenix from embers and land you right back where you were or perhaps worse is shocking

    besides you no doubt are more fun than him anyway trying new things and experiencing things with the same person strengthens bind you have, the fuck it I need to try something else attitude is quite frankly obserd.

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    dirty_boy [sign in to see picture]
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    I think at the time it seems like a big deal, but as other posters have said, ten years down the line it makes no difference. I would actually find it a turn on hearing my OH's past sordid tales further down the line, use it to your advantage!

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    hargan [sign in to see picture]
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    From a males point of view, he is taking you for a mug. You cannot base a relationship on previous amount of partners either have had. Cake and eating it comes to mind.

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