• Book on Female Domminance and/or ideas

    1453803281
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I have looked in the Lovehoney book section and unfortunately it appears to be an area that they are cutting back on .

    My Mrs is slowly gaining confidence ( the police woman roleplays are an example) of being more domminant in the bedroom and she likes it . She likes having that bit of power which she doesn't get at work and sometimes I don't help as I normally just take the lead .

    However she feels she still needs a book but not too extreme on on ideas to take this further. From my point of view is the final piece in the jigsaw in our sex lives but and a big but I don't want her ending up dressed in leather and yielding a cat of nine tails lol

    So i am looking for ideas on a book title preferably in print so I can get her a copy.

    Its a bit of a stab in the dark as I am not expecting zillions of replies.

    If any of you got some practical ideas I can forward then please post away. I am a very patient guy as many of you may know so I appreciate its going to take time and with many small steps in the process.

    Thank you x.

    1453803494
    Vanilla_Kink [sign in to see picture]
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    I asked about this on the pander to me thread and never heard back :( I don't think it's monitored anymore. A few people agreed it would be a great thing for lovehoney to stock. Don't have an answer for you but would also love a recommendation of a book like this x

    1453805528
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    I did a bit of research recently on this for a friend. Here are a few titles that may be of interest to you :) xx

    The Disciplined Husband by Lucy Appleby

    My FemDom Wife by Dominique Paige

    She Dominates, He Submits (BDSM,Femdom, Domination and Submission) by Megan West

    1453805599
    Wildcherry [sign in to see picture]
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    It's not sold on Lovehoney but I purchased this a few years back - "The Mistress Manual - The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance" by Lorlei

    It was one of the best books out of what I purchased and I found it really helpful for a few ideas ect (and types of fem dom). I don't think there are many of these out there though, or atleast I struggled to find what I was looking for.

    1453805755
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Scorpius12 wrote:

    I did a bit of research recently on this for a friend. Here are a few titles that may be of interest: to you :) xx

    The Disciplined Husband

    My FemDom Wife by Dominique Paige

    She Dominates, He Submits (BDSM,Femdom, Domination and Submission) by Megan West

    Thanks for those it gives us something to look at. The top title looks very interesting .

    1453805809
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Wildcherry wrote:

    It's not sold on Lovehoney but I purchased this a few years back - "The Mistress Manual - The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance" by Lorlei

    It was one of the best books out of what I purchased and I found it really helpful for a few ideas ect. I don't think there are many of these out there though, or atleast I struggled to find what I was looking for.

    Thanks I will have a look at that too

    1453813450
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    The books I ended up ordering which arn't on Kindle only ( her kindle died last year) are as follows.

    THe first one I think is a 100% match for my Mrs , the second one was to qualify for free postage but could get some ideas,

    1) The Hesitant Mistress A guide to claiming your feminine power by Dvanna Highlower

    2) How to Set Up An FLR . A couples guide to Female Led Relationships. by Georgia Ivey Green .

    1453814331
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I just wanted to add I found these by accident . Sometimes you have to search at different angles to find what you are looking for . For example ther second one was a recommendation tied in with the first title . The first title was found by looking for a book Sex tips from a Dominatrix which I though was perhaps a little too advanced from the stage we are currently at.

    I must have scrolled through about 50 pages last night without finding a dickybird !

    1453814922
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Wildcherry wrote:

    It's not sold on Lovehoney but I purchased this a few years back - "The Mistress Manual - The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance" by Lorlei

    It was one of the best books out of what I purchased and I found it really helpful for a few ideas ect (and types of fem dom). I don't think there are many of these out there though, or atleast I struggled to find what I was looking for.

    Thanks for this one but I think again its slighty beyond the stage where we are currently at. So its one for the future.

    Its not been easy finding material for anyone beginning femal dominance as most of the material is aimed at people already practising it.

    Some of it has been quite scary as well for example there is a club of wives in the USA that draw up domestic discipline contracts and not frightened to administer corporal puishment on their hubbies for minor things ! A bit OTT for me anyway lol.

    1453815170
    Echo32B [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    The books I ended up ordering which arn't on Kindle only ( her kindle died last year) are as follows.

    THe first one I think is a 100% match for my Mrs , the second one was to qualify for free postage but could get some ideas,

    1) The Hesitant Mistress A guide to claiming your feminine power by Dvanna Highlower

    2) How to Set Up An FLR . A couples guide to Female Led Relationships. by Georgia Ivey Green .

    Yeah just had a look this morning and saw The hesitant mistress one put it straight on my Am*zon wishlist, it sounds perfect, anychance you could let us know what its like? :D

    I've also added the mistress manual, might ask (I mean tell!)  the Oh he needs to get them for my birthday :P

    1453815797
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I will ask my Mrs as I don't want to read that one otherwise I will possibley spoil it for myeslf .

    If I suddenly see an order for a whip in my account basket on here then I know I am in trouble! ha ha .

    1453819598
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    As I have manged to source a cheap but new second hand copy I have also ordered Sex tips from a Dominatrix by Paricia Payne .

    This is probably going to be a good follow on to the first title as it deals more with what happens in the bedroom .

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Mysteron

    It's been a long time since I posted on here, but as I'm an avid sub I thought I would give it a go.

    Try buying a good sturdy wide dog collar and lead; to use as a slave collar. LH may stock something, but taking a look on the dom section may give you some ideas even if the idea of a whip makes you feel ready to run and lock yourself in the loo. She will love having control over you without feeling she is going too far, too soon; but watch out women can quickly get a real taste for being dom.

    Don't you be too afraid of the whip either, I soon wanted more; spanking is a good way to start and costs nothing, unless you feel you need some after spanking soothing lotion; LH sells it and some lotion for making your bum more sensitive, and flush red quicker. Stick to the fleshy parts of the buttocks, especially if you move on to a whip, or paddle. A good quality whip, can be used to stroke and tease in between strokes, To make a whip really hurt the user must swing high and most importantly follow the stroke through past the point of impact, so avoiding doing this keeps it soft.

    Agree on a safe word that can bring proceedings to an immediate halt; sometimes it's good to refuse a command to provoke a dominant response from her, but you have to set the bar, because it's you taking the punishment. Let her know when you like what she does sometimes, for two reasons; 1: she needs to know you are up for what you are doing , and 2: so she has an excuse to punish you for liking her first punishment.

    Anyway I could go on for quite sometime from a male perspective, but I won't unless you want more. One last point, reading a book is fine, but don't forget that it's often more fun to find your own way; from the Mrs point of view she is just finding her feet in this so a few pointers will help her get started, but she will enjoy finding what's in her, more than trying to mimic the thoughts of another person; there really is no subsitute for trying things out for yourself. If something doesn't suit you move on to something else, and don't get hung up on a failure; but I have found that if a partner has a real taste for something, and it does nothing for me, that sticking with it turns me round, as her exitement for it makes me want it for her and I end up loving it simply because she does.

    1453842431
    j&lxxxx [sign in to see picture]
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    The book of kinky sex games, by jackson rocco.

    It has a few ideas that work for both female, and male doms, and even mentions lovehoney a couple of times.

    1453889959
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    alone4ever wrote:

    Hi Mysteron

    It's been a long time since I posted on here, but as I'm an avid sub I thought I would give it a go.

    Try buying a good sturdy wide dog collar and lead; to use as a slave collar. LH may stock something, but taking a look on the dom section may give you some ideas even if the idea of a whip makes you feel ready to run and lock yourself in the loo. She will love having control over you without feeling she is going too far, too soon; but watch out women can quickly get a real taste for being dom.

    Don't you be too afraid of the whip either, I soon wanted more; spanking is a good way to start and costs nothing, unless you feel you need some after spanking soothing lotion; LH sells it and some lotion for making your bum more sensitive, and flush red quicker. Stick to the fleshy parts of the buttocks, especially if you move on to a whip, or paddle. A good quality whip, can be used to stroke and tease in between strokes, To make a whip really hurt the user must swing high and most importantly follow the stroke through past the point of impact, so avoiding doing this keeps it soft.

    Agree on a safe word that can bring proceedings to an immediate halt; sometimes it's good to refuse a command to provoke a dominant response from her, but you have to set the bar, because it's you taking the punishment. Let her know when you like what she does sometimes, for two reasons; 1: she needs to know you are up for what you are doing , and 2: so she has an excuse to punish you for liking her first punishment.

    Anyway I could go on for quite sometime from a male perspective, but I won't unless you want more. One last point, reading a book is fine, but don't forget that it's often more fun to find your own way; from the Mrs point of view she is just finding her feet in this so a few pointers will help her get started, but she will enjoy finding what's in her, more than trying to mimic the thoughts of another person; there really is no subsitute for trying things out for yourself. If something doesn't suit you move on to something else, and don't get hung up on a failure; but I have found that if a partner has a real taste for something, and it does nothing for me, that sticking with it turns me round, as her exitement for it makes me want it for her and I end up loving it simply because she does.

    Thanks for your input much appreciated. However I have to say I think you are way way ahead of were we are at the moment .At the moment I would be happy for her just to take the lead in the bedroom just for a change ,organise everything and then come and get me. No leather,no collars just for her to be in control for once. I am still unsure about the spanking side of things with us. Whilst its a massive turn on for her to be on the recieiving end, apart from giving me a sore rear once it doesn't do anything for me if being honest. Well not at the moment anyway maybe I need to be hit harder, dunno

    Ultimately its going to be very small steps as she does have a confidence issue on top of the normal body confidence issues . The Policewoman unifiorm did give her that confidence so I do know for sure she has it in her. She has used that 3 times now but It would be great if she had thar same confidence without it.Its going to be interesting if she has the same confidence when she dresses up as the School Headmistress

    A big challenge but I think its the final piece of the jigsaw in our love lives .

    1453889994
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    j&lxxxx wrote:

    The book of kinky sex games, by jackson rocco.

    It has a few ideas that work for both female, and male doms, and even mentions lovehoney a couple of times.

    Thanks I will have a look at this one

    1453901947
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Nice to meet you Mysteron.

    I once had a partner how was 20 stone plus, and she had major body confidence issues, and did not want to whip me, but having come up with a name for mistress it gave her the confidence to take on the persona of her new name, and she took to spanking like a duck to water; though she still wouldn't use the whip for anything but teasing me. she like the control of using her hand as she was scared of hurting me. she said it gave her the feeling that she could do anything; a reel power rush for a very timid woman that she was; and yes in the end I had no choice that first time but to use the very important safe word, it was worth having to wince when I sat down. I made that mistake of being honest when she had asked me if it turned me; it took me ages for her to understand that the turn on for me was the look of glee in her eyes, and that i was really really stoked that I had turned her on in this new fun way.

    If she feels that it does nothing for you it will put her off; if she has given it a go before may be she would feel better if you told her you real wanted her to do it, even if it does nothing for you at least it's doesn't sound like you hate it; whats a sore bum if it helps her move forward. and yes it is an aquired taste, to the point from me that it wasn't at all sexual for me; just great fun: to now where I actually have what i can only describe as a body orgasm - - not down stairs.

    try seeing if she will let you wash her in the shower, a Japanese bath is great fun, soap her up with shower jell all over like a massage, then use a jug to pour water over her, then pat her dry with the towel, put on her robe,; all the time saying is that good for you mistress, then ask her what she would like you to for her next, eventually she may ask you to take her to bed, and tell you how she wants it. But most of all don't push her; open the door so to speak and let her walk in; and keep reasuring her that you love it by using her new mistress name, said mistress followed by her new name and please.

    Please feel free to ask for more tips; It will be great to have someone i.e. another guy to talk to about it.

    I hope you make progress even a little at a time, it was great fun for me when my OH took to it, before we split. and the journey getting there.

    I have a F with benifits now who loves it, and now she goes straight for the strap on; thats a whole new twist for me, but i'm loving that too. I'm a bit of a kinky one me thinks!!!!!

    1453903078
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks I'll make sure it doesn't put her off. I am pretty good at bluffing anyway ! The spanking thing is her thing not mine. If anything I was the reluctant spanker . i have a couple of books on the subject that got around my objections of hitting someone I loved quite hard. But yes she has hit me in the roleplays but alas it doesn't do anything for me . Obviously I ain't going to tell her that as it would dent her confidence even more . But that aside I just want her to take charge of our relationship in the bedroom every now and again but not necessarily to make my butt black and blue.On the other hand she did hit my manhood in one session and that sensasion was quite diferent but its not something, If being honest I would want her to do on a regular basis. I value it in one piece too much ! lol. The cane is another possability we could look into but I am not sure if I could trust her with one as there is a skill in using one properly otherwise damage could be done .

    However I do think she will do that again to my manhood in the Head School Mistress guise with the spanking ruler .I know she will be hatching a plan as I left her butt 50 shades of red from Sunday night . I had to put some cream on her rear last night as it still felt sore.

    So revenge in a playful manner will be in the offing I think . Again its something that will add to her confidence .

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not sure even I would go for the cane; espessially on bare skin you are right it can actually cut the skin if used incorrectly.

    So you have some LH after spanking cream, or just something to sooth skin.

    You shouldn't worry about setting boundaries on what you feel uncomfortable with; thats what a safe word is for, she needs to know you will stop her if she goes to far; this in it's self should give her confidence as she will understand that you will not let her hurt you too much, so she can let go of the same fear that you had of hurting her. You seem almost willing to let her hit your manhood yet you still worry that you get nothing out of being spanked, I will do things that do nothing for me but that I can tolerate simply to get the other person their fun; surely that kind of thing happens in the rest of your relationship( hope I don't sound like I'm lecturing, I used to do that for a living, but i don't want to do it here; just want to help you); sounds like you are having a few issues yourself.

    set the boundaries telling her to ease off if she gets carried away shouldn't dent her confidence if you agree things in advance for both of you, words that can be agreed to indicate an easing off without breaking the moment; like please mistress for give me. A way to put some loving into the senario without breaking the moment is to say something like "I want to be a good boy today mistress, please love me". It's nice for mistress to be able to reward as well as punish; even if only for a moment.

    Sorry I do go on.

    Maybe you can tell me how to find a woman that wants to stay around, I only seem to end up with selfish users; though I have had a few married women throw themselves, at me; nice women......? but that is one place I will never go even if it means spending the rest of my life alone. Hence my screen name.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    We use a brand of cream which s oozes babies bums for nappy rash . I can't put the brand down as the auto correct on this Tab doesn't allow it.

    No issues as such it just getting my wife to be more confident but I am patient so not putting any pressure on her.

    I must admit when it comes to chatting the fairer sex up .I was always rubbish at it as I was shy.I relied on my looks to attain a healthy number of partners over the years.At least today you have Internet dating which does take some of the work out of it.

    The irony is its only since I got married that my shyness began to dissappear .

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