• Advice and help needed please

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    HaveAGoAndy [sign in to see picture]
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    Recently my wife has voiced that she likes the idea and would like to try a bit of bondage. I myself am up for trying pretty much anything, at least once anyway, so where is the problem you may ask. Our dilemma lies in the fact that although my wife loves the idea of being restrained, she has a mild claustrophobia which can make her panic if her movement is to restricted. You could bind me up like a joint of beef and I wouldn't bat an eyelid but she doesn't want me to be tied up, she would like to be the one bound. We can't seem to find a solution and I so want to fulfill her fantasy as she fulfilled mine the day she agreed to marry me. Any thoughts or suggestions from this helpful community would be very much appreciated.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Safety word. Start slowing with loose ties of only one limb?

    I am not overly experienced with thus category of play so hopeful others chim.in

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Velcro cuffs, they're very easy to get out of should she need to and you can obviously fasten them loosely if you want. I think that would be a good place to start :)

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    Safety word. Start slowing with loose ties of only one limb?

    I am not overly experienced with thus category of play so hopeful others chim.in

    I agree with Vanessa .

    Just wanted to add use none threatening restratints such as silk ties and tie them very loosley so she can get out easily. Basically the ties are more symbolic than functional in this case. Don't use a blindfold so she can see everything that is going on. The Christian Grey tie could also be used for this purpose as well .

    I am assuming here thast your not tieing your wife spreadeagled to the bed here and just tieing her hand(s) .I would at least start off with just one of her hands and tie them loosley in front and not behind . My Mrs freaked out once when I tied her hands behind her back as she fears it but never told me ! communication ehh ! Just guage her reaction as well when you tie her hand(s) and during your session. Even if she hasn't stated her safe word , if you think she is looking uncomfartable about the session then release the ties. Let her settle and get her a comforting drink and ask if se wants to try again .

    Just be patient and gentle .

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    [suspended user]

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    Tie her wrists together with a soft scarf, but don't tie her to anything else as a first step.

    Have her grab the bad post if your bed is such to allow it, and order her not to let go. So it's as if she was bound, but she is also in control. If your bed doesn't allow grabbing, put something in her hand, maybe something like a long stick, for her to grab with both hands and tell her she's not allowed to let go until you say so.

    Tie her with some cheap satin restraints and put scissors in her hand so she knows she can cut the fabric easily if she needs to.

    But most importantly: take things slow and assure both of yourselves that a safeword is in place.

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    HaveAGoAndy [sign in to see picture]
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    We just purchased some Lovehoney Velcro bed restraints which we received yesterday, unfortunately Mother Nature depicts that we can't try them out yet for another few days, I'm just very nervous as I don't want to cause her any panic or maybe make her fears any worse

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    HaveAGoAndy wrote:

    We just purchased some Lovehoney Velcro bed restraints which we received yesterday, unfortunately Mother Nature depicts that we can't try them out yet for another few days, I'm just very nervous as I don't want to cause her any panic or maybe make her fears any worse

    Thats easy to do just make the loops big enough so her hands can slip out .

    But show her the package so she can feel and touch them and playfully attach one to her hand as above .Then ask her want she thinks. Perhaps as a bit of extra security do a trial run with them with her fully clothed to see how she likes them .You can do that whilst she is having her monthlies .

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi there, the most important thing is to take things really slowly. The bed restraints are great, but to start with you could just get your OH to hold them without actually being restrained, but she must not let go or she will be punished. If after this she found it really exciting, then the next time you use them maybe just restrain one wrist and one ankle, and again make her hold the other 2 herself. Just build it up slowly until she feels comfortable to try all 4 restraints at once, she must totally lead the way and feel comfortable with this.

    Always have safe words in place, which will also make your OH feel more safe and in control. You could use the classic traffic light system. GREEN means everything is ok, and your OH is happy to continue play. AMBER means ‘slow down’ or ‘I’m close to my limit’ and RED means ‘all play stops immediately’.

    Here are a couple of LH links which may also be useful for you :) x

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/buyers-guide/keep-safe-bondage-techniques/

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/buyers-guide/beginners-guide-to-bondage/

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    HaveAGoAndy [sign in to see picture]
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    Just a quick update and a big thank you for your support and advice.

    so last night after having a lovely evening in without the kids who've been at grandparents for the weekend hooray! OH decided she'd like to try our new Velcro straps. We took the advice of leaving the restraint loops very loose so that if wifey started to feel any panic she could just slip out of them. what we did next though was I just sat next to her for over half an hour just stroking her hair and face with my hands. We never rushed or forced anything and had a very loving session. Mrs Andy really enjoyed herself and is very grateful for the advice given on here as she never felt panicked at any time during the evening and we are happy to carry on at the same pace until she feels she wants to move forward. As for me I'd be quite happy to stay where we've got to now as long as she is happy. So once again thank you people you are the best 😘

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Well done mate It's refreshing to hear from another patient guy. You just can't rush these things and I am sure with your support she will gain confidence .

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