• Curvier ladies...

    1454175801
    Ashley22 [sign in to see picture]
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    As a bigger woman myself & I can definitely relate to what you said. I sometimes feel very un-sexy because of my size. I'm a lot more confident in myself now thanks to my very loving boyfriend & a very good realization that I shouldn't let society dictate how I should feel about myself. I find women of all shapes & sizes attractive [ i'm bi ] because I personally see beauty in everyone but confidence really is the sexiest thing. I hope this helps (:

    1454177895
    VR [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm 5'8' and an 18-20. I'm not happy with my weight tbh. Probably because I've been up and down sizes so much. My ex encouraged me to lose weight (well, when I say encouraged, I mean ridiculed me until I did), then told me I was unattractive when I did! I was in my early teens then and have never lost my insecurities even though I lost eleven stone of useless skin years later (the ex!).

    It doesn't help that when I'm smaller, I get men telling me I look gorgoeus. Then when I put on weight, I get told I'd look amazing if I lost weight.

    Where are all the men on here that can appreciate larger ladies in real life?

    Having said that, what bothers me most, is how hard it is to be overweight when facing anyone in the medical profession. I had a MRI done several years ago and was as horrified to see the layer of fat on my body as I was being told by the doctor that I needed to lose weight. I lost weight after that, then put it on again as I find it difficult to exercise (medical condition). I dread seeing doctors these days.

    My OH tells me he loves me as I am, but encourages me to lose weight. I know he's being sensible and that losing weight would make life so much easier for me, but sometimes, I get transported back in time and only hear my ex saying I'm fat.

    I don't mind being overweight if it was just me and OH, but as other ladies have pointed out, clothes shopping is a nightmare (though I've finally found some lovely lingerie here on LH), and the medical implications are getting more of an issue as I get older.

    1454180854
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
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    In my current position I am trying to support my partner losing some weight.

    She would probably be classed as clincally obese and for me the issue is her health and then her self-estime.

    I know the thread is related to curvy but for me what I care about is my partner's health. I want my OH to lose weight so we will be together in 20 years time,

    Should we not care about health rather than pictures in glossy mags?

    1454181895
    VioletWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the problem with that Private_Member is it's a personal choice to lose weight, it's not for someone else to dictate what should or shouldn't be done.

    1454183093
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
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    I completely agree that we are all pressured to conform in some way and really don't want to derail the thread.

    For me the issue is health, if you meet someone that you are attracted to as a person and they are attracted to you then size or colour of hair, etc shouldn't matter.

    The point that was raised by a few earlier seemed to be that they weren't happy with their physical weight/appearence which is something I am struggling to support my OH with.

    1454183360
    stutographer [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    NO! it's what society tells us and brain washes us to what should be the norm! That dictates slim and super skinny. We only have to glance a magazine to see that shit!

    We come in delightful packages, allsorts! But I don't think we will ever be content with our everything!

    +1 So true :)

    1454183496
    The Odd Couple [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife is a larger lady, being about a size 24, She had regular medicals, check-ups, etc, and she is fit as the proverbial fiddle. You can be big and healthy.

    Bollocks to the body-fascists of the world.  In the words of the mighty Spinal Tap: "The bigger cushion, the sweet the pushin'..."

    1454192135
    hunk a hunk of burning love [sign in to see picture]
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    I love a lady with curves

    1454198699
    Miss Pussycat [sign in to see picture]
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    I am a curvier lady so what can I say

    1454267819
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    It is quite clear that there has been a lot of over-statement of the case for weight loss for health reasons. I hope LH will allow me to post this link to an article written by Dr Kendrick who seems to be one who is prepared to back what all the data points to despite the discomfort it gives to most of his profession.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/why-being-overweight-means-you-live-longer-the-way-scientists-twist-the-facts-10158229.html

    My theory as to why doctors have a downer on heavier people is that it stems from the period (these days a full year) where they have to be surgical house-officers. During this time most of them will have had to spend many an uncomfortable hour heaving on a retractor to keep someones fat out of the consultant's way (on pain of being verbally ripped to pieces). Mechanics will never recommend a car that is a b@$t@rd to work on and I reckon doctors develop a similar dislike to anyone who isn't rail thin. They aren't going to let a little thing like data get in the way.

    1454269683
    Lipstick&Lace [sign in to see picture]
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    I feel like most women, myself included, will always find things about their body they hate, because no one can be perfect.
    I guess we just have to find the things we do like about our bodies and emphasise those points.
    I will probably always feel too big even though I know I'm not. That's because I'll never look like the models. Xxx

    1454277513
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
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    Gyrator53 wrote:

    It is quite clear that there has been a lot of over-statement of the case for weight loss for health reasons. I hope LH will allow me to post this link to an article written by Dr Kendrick who seems to be one who is prepared to back what all the data points to despite the discomfort it gives to most of his profession.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/why-being-overweight-means-you-live-longer-the-way-scientists-twist-the-facts-10158229.html

    My theory as to why doctors have a downer on heavier people is that it stems from the period (these days a full year) where they have to be surgical house-officers. During this time most of them will have had to spend many an uncomfortable hour heaving on a retractor to keep someones fat out of the consultant's way (on pain of being verbally ripped to pieces). Mechanics will never recommend a car that is a b@$t@rd to work on and I reckon doctors develop a similar dislike to anyone who isn't rail thin. They aren't going to let a little thing like data get in the way.

    To cherry pick from the article referenced above ...

    'There is no doubt that becoming heavier and heavier must, at some point, damage your health and reduce your life expectancy.'

    and

    'I cannot tell you when "obesity" becomes a major health problem'

    For me there are two parts to this, one where obesity leads to health issues and the other where people feel that they don't meet Society's current standards as ideal so feel bad about themselves.

    1454323095
    borninsixties [sign in to see picture]
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    I think most men like curvier girls, just take a look at a men's dirty magazines for proof of that. Also, go down your local high street - you will see loads of slim guys with curvy girls.

    Just remember that a woman doesn't thave to be slim to be sexy. In fact she doesn't even have to be attractive to be sexy. It's all about the clothes she wears, how she carries herself, the way she acts and her personality. Confidence breeds confidence. Some of the most popular girls in the office are not particulaly attractive or slim. But they are approachable.

    Having said all that, my wife still sometimes says she doesn't see why I am so attracted to her (she is a 16/18). But she accepts that I am, and it is hard to disguise that fact inthe bedroom!

    One last point. I personally I think that bigger women can take advantage of sexy underwear even more than slimmer girls, so don't let your size put you off in any way.

    1454323344
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    Private_member wrote:

    To cherry pick from the article referenced above ...

    'There is no doubt that becoming heavier and heavier must, at some point, damage your health and reduce your life expectancy.'

    and

    'I cannot tell you when "obesity" becomes a major health problem'

    For me there are two parts to this, one where obesity leads to health issues and the other where people feel that they don't meet Society's current standards as ideal so feel bad about themselves.

    Yes - indeed you did cherry-pick - perhaps you could have a promising career working for the NHS Choices website 8-)=

    But lets read those comments in context:-

    "There is no doubt that becoming heavier and heavier must, at some point, damage your health and reduce your life expectancy. Where is this point? Well, it is certainly not anywhere between 25 and 30, and it could be even higher. Indeed, I have seen research on Italian women showing that a BMI of 33 was associated with the longest life expectancy.

    So, while I cannot tell you when "obesity" becomes a major health problem, I can definitely tell you that being "overweight" is the healthiest and most "normal" weight of all. "

    The important point is that currently society, including the medical profession, is pushing people to be sub-optimal in weight. They are of course frightened that if they admit that a BMI of 32 is fine - perhaps even optimal it will undermine their drive to stop some people going to a BMI of 40. Unfortunately, It's the same flawed logic as is used with rural speed limits i.e. an idiot drives through a dry stone-wall at 90mph at night on a rural road so the council drops the speed limit from 60 to 50. The next idiot drives through a wall at 90 and the limit is dropped to 40 and of course a 3rd idiot will still drive through a wall at 90 mph.

    1455146334
    Postman Pat [sign in to see picture]
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    It's 'horses for courses' ladies - Some men prefer skinny, some curvy.

    I think a woman needs a bit of flesh to show off her best features

    1455146626
    Redmosquito [sign in to see picture]
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    Totally different for everyone I guess

    My OH is definitely curvy. She's a size 16. I know she's really wanting to loose some weight but I couldn't care less if she does. I just want her to feel good about herself and confident so will support her and make her feel wanted no matter what. She's been bigger in the past and thinner for a while but to be honest I fancy the pants off her no matter what.

    1455204644
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Redmosquito wrote:

    Totally different for everyone I guess

    My OH is definitely curvy. She's a size 16. I know she's really wanting to loose some weight but I couldn't care less if she does. I just want her to feel good about herself and confident so will support her and make her feel wanted no matter what. She's been bigger in the past and thinner for a while but to be honest I fancy the pants off her no matter what

    Well said.

    IN my younger years I was a very skinny 5'11" 8 stone girl - 'are you anorexic' was the most asked question - the answer being definitely not. I was unhappy with my shape.

    As I have grown older my shape and weight have both changed considerably. Still unhappy with my shape.

    Have recently decided to listen to my hubby who has always told me he loves and desires me at whatever weight I am - still not 'happy' with my shape but much more accepting of it and would even go so far as to say getting some confidence.

    Posting on LH forums really helps as you understand you are not the only person who has these feelings!

    1455205025
    Jambal [sign in to see picture]
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    I think curvier woman are just as good as any other type of woman becuase it all about the confidence, so what if they are bigger than other people if they are happy with who they are that's the sexiest part! If they are them selves they have just as good a chance at landing a man or woman as anyone else! It's all about how the portray themselves, behind happy bubbly confident simply adds to the sexy appeal!

    1455227257
    Lupina [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a sucker for curves! I love curvy women and I am one.

    Everyone has their own attractions but I just don't like it when you can see the bones on someone, man or woman... It freaks me out even though I know you can be healthy and still see bones but it just isn't sexy to me...

    I can't stand the fatphobics in the BDSM community though, they make you feel unsexy for having extra weight!

    1455231899

    [suspended user]

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    I think the important thing here is that as women in the media world we're expected to conform to a certain size. A shape that is supposed to make us sexier, more desirable more wanted by the male breed.

    We are all shapes, colours styles, heights and weights. That makes us unique, desirable, sexy etc. So perhaps a thread that that has brought out the best in us. We are who we are and all beautiful in our own right.

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