• High sex drive and advice needed

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    Stephy-x [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey you beautiful people pre warning this is going to a very long message. So here it goes
    I've always had a high sex drive but nearly a year ago after splitting from my 7 year relationship I met someone amazing head over heels in love and omg what a God in the bedroom he made my sex drive go through the roof but 10months together and sex has gone down hill yeah we still have it quite abit but I'm still horny so much and now he's decided he's gone of with licking the pussy he's not lasting aslong. Don't get me wrong it's still good but been put into the spooning way gets rather boring. I've tried talking to him and he says he doesn't always want sex and want to be horny but thinks it's so funny to tease me to the point in laying next to him sorting myself out :( well I've had the depo injection and waiting for my coil to be taken out and omg since the injection I'm gagging for it I mean I can go on and on to the point I was using my amazing rabbit friend for over an hour and still wanted a real cock inside me. I'm the kinky type of girl I want to try nearly everything I need that rough sex the hair pulling the ass spanking but lately he's just not doing it.. What can I do and how do I get this sex drive down its getting to the point where I over think things think it's something to do with me he says it's not but I miss the roughness the lasting longer the eating me out my ex of 7 years was never into it so yep you guessed it when I had his tongue on me omg I was in heaven and now I miss it but he just won't do it anymore.. Any advice is welcome
    Have a sexy night you beautiful bunch xx

    1452725480
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
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    I know how you feel.. I kinda had the same thing with my partner. I've always had quite a high sex drive and even if I don't really feel like it I'd much rather do it than not do it! When things were new and exciting the sex was fabulous and it still is but it's much less frequent. Sounds like you've just gone into that relationship lull. It happens!

    What I do think is unfair is that he's teasing you with it. I'm going to give the usual boring advice- you need to talk to him about it. Keep initiating, keep persisting.

    I don't think many couples have a perfectly matched sex drive. It's all about comprimise. x

    1452726138
    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you just need to have an honest and upfront talk with him about it. He obviously knows about your kinks and he knows how to satisfy you as you said he used to do everything you wanted just fine.

    Explain how it's making you feel, emphasis that you're not placing blame on him or questioning his prowess (this can backfire and really damage his libido and self-esteem, having the opposite effect to what you're after), but focus on your emotions about it - that you miss it and want to recapture some of that past passion. Explain that what he finds amusing is actually upsetting for you and that you find it unfair, again avoid attacking him over it as I doubt he realises the full extent of what he's doing.

    Ten months seems a little on the short side for a naturally degrading "honeymoon" phase, ask him if there's anything going on with him that might be having an adverse side effect on his desire/moods. It could literally be anything so just be completely open and understanding with any problems or issues he might have. Ask him how he feels emotionally, too.

    Options for getting your own sex drive down I don't really know much about. Maybe consider an alternate contraceptive if the injection has taken you "over the "edge", so to speak, of what's bearable? Not sure, maybe wait for some other women who can relate more to offer more/better suggestions if that's the route you want to take.

    My wife has the opposite problem to you, I might just suggest the injection judging on its effect on you!

    Good luck.

    1452726241
    Stephy-x [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you for the advice :) there's never a time I don't want it specially after this depo I've tried having chats with him and explained when he's randomly horny he gets me in the mood and it's got me down because before all I had to do is lick my lips and he was on me like a rash but now when I want it I don't even get to turn him on got to the point I kept on and on at him about how I feel I just burst into tears but his reply is its not all about sex do you just want me for sex if I don't want it I won't get horny but before I could get him horny in the most inappropriate places but not now :( think it's worse that my sex drive is so high..well tonight I'm sorting myself out again by looks of it x

    1452726509
    Stephy-x [sign in to see picture]
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    Also I have the coil for my emdrromitiosis (can't spell it) had problems so they gave me the injection again as I need the hormones..I've tried everything with talking I really have and all he says it's not you I duno I'm not not always horny but I've explained nicely it's not I want it all the time I can deal with that it's the fact everything's changed no roughness anymore,same persition,it's over in a few mins and twice now he's gone soft but then back hard..doesn't help that I've never been so sexually attracted to someone the way I have with him x

    1452727165
    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
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    Okay first of all, that's an amazing conincidence, my wife is currently undergoing tests for endomitriosis. Now, I really hope she hasn't got it, but maybe the chances of her getting super-sexed from the injection just increased? Lol.

    Again, if it's not the frequency that's bothering you so much as the quality of your sessions, try and explain that to him. Assure him that you realise your sex drive is much higher than his and that you're not trying to pressurise him into having sex more often than he wants to, but you need to communicate your needs to him and how you're feeling about that lack of passion and fire that used to be there but now isn't there.

    Again, he should know all about what you want in the bedroom, seeing as he used to do the things you like and (I assume) enjoyed doing it, too. He says it isn't you and he's probably telling the truth, so ask if there's anything going on with him that's causing his change in sexual behaviour.

    1452727559
    Stephy-x [sign in to see picture]
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    Can I be fully honest it's weird to sort of tell a stranger but been together 10months first week he slept with his ex then few months in he was flirting with other girls. He deleted Facebook snapchat everything promised he wouldn't do it again before he promised and he did but one girl said he said to her he had feelings for her what he would do to her etc I explained all this to him how it makes me feel it is something to do with me as I said he says it's not but I can't help but worry it is me my friends have noticed how before he would stare at me looked so loved up but not now he says he wants to marry me how he's never felt like this before but everything's changing I will keep trying to talk to him again but lost the amount of times I've poured my heart out how I feel how I just want how it was before I said I understand not as much as things change I got to the point I burst into tears and that's not like me at all it upsets me to how I can lay there with my friend moaning etc and he doesn't do anything like it used to drive him crazy.. I really think it is something to do with me :(

    1452728547
    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
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    Hm, it's a difficult situation, to be sure. There seems to be other things going on here that I wasn't aware of at first. I hate to sound like a broken record, but I really do feel that frequent, open and honest communication is the only real or effective solution to these things. It sounds like you're putting all the effort into that part of the relationship, and if so this needs to be addressed before anything else can get solved.

    All you can do is keep telling him about your thoughts and feelings, share any concerns about your relationship, and ask that he at least do the same with you and open up about anything that's on his mind, etc. It seems a crying shame that you're getting off next to him and he isn't interested at all. You need to emphasis how much it's upsetting you and you need something from him in terms of compromise.

    It might just be that he's not suited to mongamy, in which case you should analyse how you'd each feel about seeing other people? If this isn't an option and you continue to be sexually incompatable, I don't see many ways for this getting any better. And let me tell you right now from long, bitter experience, the one with the higher libido will always be the one putting their needs aside for their partner. If you can't address this now, those months will turn into years and you'll start going crazy.

    1452728750
    Stephy-x [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you so much for your honest post and advice :) one good thing is we were joking around and my lesbian friend said well if you've stopped licking her out I will he then went onto saying he would allow her to because he loves me but there was no way on this earth he would sleep with anyone other than me so that did make me feel a lot better.. I've had abit of an idea I'm going to do the 2 weeks no sex which means even if he wants it I won't give in then when it comes to the day I'll make it really sexy for him maybe that will help :) thank you so much :)

    1452730243
    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
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    You're welcome. Hopefully it will get better for you. That could work, as I mentioned before if you can't increase the frequency then try and make your sessions together nice and steamy. If he's been left wanting for a short while hopefully he'll be more open to the rough stuff you crave when the sex finally happens, because he'll be all wound up and super turned on.

    Also, it seems like there's the option of maybe bringing in your female friend for some fun? Seems to be open for discussion, at the very least, which is more than a lot of couples can say. He's a very lucky guy, from where I'm standing. So again, I really hope it works out and things get better.

    I wish you luck!

    1452987158
    Mrs Grey [sign in to see picture]
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    I have endometriosis, but the last op seems to have done the trick & it's not really bothering me now thankfully. My husband and I have been together for fifteen years and we certainly go through peaks and troughs. But after less than a year, I would be concerned if I'm honest. Is he stressed out at work? This often affects my husband. Communication & honesty is the key to any and every relationship.

    As an aside, I just deal with my high sex drive by myself if he is really stressed out. I need almost daily stimulation & if he can't provide it for whatever reason, I am very happy to please myself

    1453060637
    beautifulrainfall [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a ridiculously high sex drive but because I'm in a D/s relationship, we only have sex when he says we can. Also he gets to control my solo play time and though he normally does allow me to masturbate, as I get really really grumpy if I don't, he sometimes bans that too!

    When we first started out, I was able to just do little suggestive movements and he'd flip me over but now he seems to have more resistance to my 'charms' which is annoying. Or he'll just get me to give him oral and I'll be left begging knowing full well I just have to put up with it.

    I now exercise a lot and hit things, both of which help me when I'm really craving. I also eat chocolate and think of all the ways I'm going to get my own back (never going to happen!).

    I hope you manage to work it out though as being horny and not getting it seen to sucks and sex is also a brilliant stress reliever.

    I do like your idea of the denying him for a week. Make sure you wear lots of sexy outfits, solo play next to him, etc. so by the end of the week he's the one begging for it :P

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