• Do females find make bi partners confusing and off putting?

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    AJ' S [sign in to see picture]
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    Just wondering if you were a in a relationship with a man, and he had bi exploration tendencies.
    How would you take feel about it?

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    AJ' S [sign in to see picture]
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    Typo there, using phone... For some reason the title says make? :/ oh well... :)

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    As long as he wasn't being disloyal to me, I don't think I'd be too bothered. 

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    One can never make broad assumptions about a whole gender. Do females as a whole find bi partners off putting? No. Do some? Yes, most likely. Everyone has things they aren't comfortable with, and for many (male or female) having a bi partner comes with unique fears such as not being enough for your partner because you are only one of the genders they like, or that your partner is secretly gay/lesbian and is only half admitting it by calling themselves bi. Some people can't or won't deal with those fears and so are uncomfortable with having a bi partner. It happens. There are also certain issues that are made out to be true, such as if your partner comes out as bi to you you must allow them to experiement with the other gender and not count it as cheating simply because they are bi. Untrue (though there are people who try to use this excuse to play around), but I've had many people express this to me and that they are afraid that being bisexual means being faithful is somehow harder.

    Myself? Well, I'm bi too. So I understand that it's really no different to being with a straight person! You're two people in a commited relationship, it's all good :)

    Plus I'm a fan of pegging/male anal play in general so I feel pretty well equiped to act out fantasies without having them go elsewhere!

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    AJ' S [sign in to see picture]
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    Ah totally, disloyal isn't cool at all as I wouldn't like it but, I've always encouraged open truthfulness as it's important for growing any relationship.

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    VioletWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    Honesty is the best policy. People's attitudes are changing, acceptance is on the rise. If my partner had said he was bi, my concerns wouldn't be any different to what they actually were. All I want to know when I get with a new partner is if they're clean or not.

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    beautifulrainfall [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm bi and so it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't see why it would be an issue so long as he doesn't act on it when he's with me, the same way I would expect he wouldn't act on exploration tendencies with a girl. Unless I'm involved too of course because FMM is definetely a fantasy of mine :P

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    WinoSaur [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    One can never make broad assumptions about a whole gender. Do females as a whole find bi partners off putting? No. Do some? Yes, most likely. Everyone has things they aren't comfortable with, and for many (male or female) having a bi partner comes with unique fears such as not being enough for your partner because you are only one of the genders they like, or that your partner is secretly gay/lesbian and is only half admitting it by calling themselves bi. Some people can't or won't deal with those fears and so are uncomfortable with having a bi partner. It happens. There are also certain issues that are made out to be true, such as if your partner comes out as bi to you you must allow them to experiement with the other gender and not count it as cheating simply because they are bi. Untrue (though there are people who try to use this excuse to play around), but I've had many people express this to me and that they are afraid that being bisexual means being faithful is somehow harder.

    All of this!! I think for some people it does bring in a whole new set of fears... Am I enough? etc. However i think that if you talk and have honest and open communication that is great. Then if a partner has those fears they can be talked through. I dont really think it makes any difference as long as the loyalty is still there.

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    AJ' S [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks all, I have never been in a bi sexual situation but I have to admit I've been turned on looking and fantasising, I would always be faithful but maybe it's just a fantasy and curiousity and not reality.

    I really don't know, maybe it's just me being open to life and possibilities.

    Cheers for the posts on this x

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    FireMonkey [sign in to see picture]
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    I am bi and am married. My wife knows that I have fantasies about it and watch gay,bi as well as straight porn. She also knows that when I pleasure myself alone I play anally too.
    We have spoken about it and she seems fine with it. It has helped open up our honesty and sexual trust more.
    She knows that I would never cheat on her, and although I have never had a gay sexual experience, I would go out and seek one. Cheating is cheating whatever the orientation.
    I believe if you have a strong relationship you can trust and be open with each other.

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    MK7 [sign in to see picture]
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    Quite frankly, being 'confused and off-put' but a bi partner is homophobic, there's no two ways about it, anyone who does should be ashamed of themselves.

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    AJ' S [sign in to see picture]
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    FireMonkey wrote:

    I am bi and am married. My wife knows that I have fantasies about it and watch gay,bi as well as straight porn. She also knows that when I pleasure myself alone I play anally too.
    We have spoken about it and she seems fine with it. It has helped open up our honesty and sexual trust more.
    She knows that I would never cheat on her, and although I have never had a gay sexual experience, I would go out and seek one. Cheating is cheating whatever the orientation.
    I believe if you have a strong relationship you can trust and be open with each other.

    Sounds like you have a solid relationship, I am a believer in being yourself as long as you harm no one. You can't change you, I wouldn't expect to change someone...
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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't get too worked up on the forum very often but I think people need to be really careful throwing around terminology like "homophobic" If we are going to have a honest discussion about the topic presented I don't want to feel attacked before I even answer.

    I for one I am NOT homophic and am not judgemental of anyone who is homosexual or bisexual. But I also know what works for me sexually and for my OH. I would personally find it to be a turn off. But that is my personal taste.

    If someone is bisexual they need to be honest with a new partner and see how that person reacts, for some it will be a turn on, for others it may require further explaination and education and acceptance and for some it would be a deal breaker.

    But as in anything knowing yourself, being open to what life may bring, and communication are the keys to successful relationships.

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    Echo32B [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    I don't get too worked up on the forum very often but I think people need to be really careful throwing around terminology like "homophobic" If we are going to have a honest discussion about the topic presented I don't want to feel attacked before I even answer.

    I for one I am NOT homophic and am not judgemental of anyone who is homosexual or bisexual. But I also know what works for me sexually and for my OH. I would personally find it to be a turn off. But that is my personal taste.

    If someone is bisexual they need to be honest with a new partner and see how that person reacts, for some it will be a turn on, for others it may require further explaination and education and acceptance and for some it would be a deal breaker.

    But as in anything knowing yourself, being open to what life may bring, and communication are the keys to successful relationships.

    +1 Yep saying that 'People who arn't turned on by bisexuality are homophobic', is like saying that 'Guys/girls who specifically like to watch 'Latino' porn (for example) are racist for not being as sexually intrested by other skin tones.'

    I'm turned on more by straight men, and I'd like to think that doesnt make me homophobic espechially being that I'm bisexual myself? I'm not going into the whole 'I have gay friends so I cant be homophobic' thing, but as far as I'm concerned I've always been completley supportive of everyone loving/being attracted to, whoever they like. I just happen to like the fact my OH is straight and knowing how my feminity (what little I have of it) drives him wild. 

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    MK7 [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't see anything wrong with somebody saying that they're turned off by the idea of anal play with their SO I don't see anything wrong with being turned off by the concept of having a threesome. I don't see anything wrong with being turned off by pegging. The issue is when people say that they're turned off by their partner just being bisexual. Now, I'm not saying that anyone in this thread actually is homophobic, because as I said, there's a myriad of reasons that somebody could be turned off by something a bisexual partner may suggested. What I am saying is that there's a very big difference between not being interested in that, and having the idea of somebodies sexuality turning somebody off is, and there is no arguing that, homophobic. People need to stop putting a stigma on bisexuals that they may be unloyal etc.

    As I said in my post, which was not referring specifically to anyone in this thread, there's absolutely nothing wrong with not being aroused by the idea of your SO exploring their bisexual tendencies as said in the original post of this thread, but if people are turned off or would refuse to have a bisexual partner, they are very simply naive to sexuality, and it is homophobia to be assuming bisexuals are unloyal, etc

    it wasn't a personal attack to anyone in this thread! Don't worry, I honestly am not attacking anyone here, I just, as a gay man myself, feel exceptionally awkward seeing people discuss LGBTQ+ topics who are very often uninformed. I'm definitely not attacking anyone in this thread or saying they have to peg their SO or anything like that, I'm just saying there's a big difference between having issues with somebodies bisexuality and having issues with what they want to explore with you in the bedroom.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I just think when that word gets thrown around people may not express an opinion of what works for them inside their own personal relationship.

    Yes, I am straight and in a traditional relationship but that does not mean I think there is anything wrong about what others identify with or what works for them. 

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    VioletWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    MOVING ON
    AJ, don't be afraid to be yourself. If you tell your partner you may be pleasantly surprised! For all you know she could enjoy the idea of pegging etc! And if she is put off by the idea of you also being interested in men, it may well be that she's just confused about where that leaves her. Reassure her, keep the communication door open, and give her time to settle her own feelings about where it could lead you as a couple. Don't worry, be happy 😁

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    FireMonkey [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry just realised an error in my last post I put:, 'I would go out and seek one. Cheating is cheating whatever the orientation'
    I meant to say that 'I wouldn't go out and seek one'.
    As I say cheating is cheating. X

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    MattB [sign in to see picture]
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    As someone who's bisexual, I'd have to disagree that finding bisexuality a turn-off is in any way homophobic.

    People's turn-ons and -offs are very personal to them, and no one should ever feel compelled to fancy someone just in order to be politically correct. If someone finds being bi a turn-off it doesn't make them a homophobe any more than not fancying Asians makes them a racist. People like what they like and don't like what they don't like, I see no problem with that so long as they don't treat others differently in a professional - and preferably not social - context.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    That was what I was trying to express MattB, it is a very personal thing to each person's sexuality and their tastes.

    So my advice to the original poster was to communicate with new partners and be who you are and find happiness.

    I also don't think anyone who is bisexual woudl be fulfilled in a relationship potentially not being able to express who they are and exploring that aspect of their sexuality with their partner(s) depedning on an individuals relationship boundries.

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