• Threesomes with long term partner?

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    bashlou [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Guys,

    I am sure there are threads somewhere about this but my partner and I ended up discussing threesomes out of the blue. I asked him if he would, he thought about it long and hard and said 'yes, I think I could. Although I don't think I could have intercourse'. (I personally reckon he would manage if the situation arised!! :D)

    Anyway, I have no interest in a threesome personally but don't want to rule it out. I am very concerned about the effects it could have on our relationship (which is pretty good atm!). I am also a little insecure about my body, etc (the usual things) so am worried about jealousy- not being as good etc.

    What are your experiences?! Any advice apprectiated!

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Just wouldn't do it .I dont want to share my partner nor her me with anyone else .

    Like you said it could very well have a destabilising effect on your existing relationship.You have to bear in mind that this third person will have emotions and feelings as well.

    The only successful avenue I can think of is going through the route of a swingers club.

    1452211504
    bashlou [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for your response. My partenr says he isn't sure he wants to go down the route either. But I just don't want to be closed to the idea!

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    bashlou wrote:

    Thanks for your response. My partenr says he isn't sure he wants to go down the route either. But I just don't want to be closed to the idea!

    Well my advice would be don't do it .Honestly is not worth the risk of ruining your relationship. Just keep it as an un acted fantasy.

    My motto

    If in doubt do nowt !

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    Only do it if you are both 100% sure you can handle it.

    I had a threesome, and whilst I enjoyed it, it will not be happening again whilst I am in a relationship, because it gives you much material to taunt yourself with if you're feeling insecure, thinking about your partner enjoying himself with someone else (I get really bad low moods sometimes, so I want to prevent giving myself more material to taunt myself with). I could do it again whilst single, but it very much needs to be with both partners 100% secure and willing. Otherwise, jealousy/insecurity etc can rip you apart ( not that that occurred in my relationship, but I did have one low-mood-episode which my partner had to deal with).

    On the up-side, I discovered I am straight, before I was bi-curious.

    I'll also note that there was no penetration involved in ours either, because she was a virgin and he didn't want to anyway.

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    Francis1 [sign in to see picture]
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    Agree with above, don't do it unless 110% sure. I think it's a fantasy we all have & think, yea I'd live that but really, it could ruin long term relationships. Try some role play with extra toys, I'm sure you could think of some wicked fun that way.... Good luck

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Nope, wouldn't go there. Unless you are both 110% certain and have ground rules in place, it could cause irreversible damage on your relationship. We had spoke about it but at the end of the day, I don't want to share him, at all. Also, how can you trust the third party is clean? We spoke about this a lot, an infection or disease would cause huge problems for us.

    From the emotional side of things, I can imagine things can get quite intense and I'm not sure how I would truly react and feel watching my oh kiss/have sex with someone else. The jealousy would eat me up.

    If it's spicing things up with a long term partner, you need to look to eachother, not others x

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    VioletWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    I've never done it, and wouldn't while I'm in a relationship, simply because the mind is a dangerous thing! I wouldn't want to risk my relationship, or sanity, from comparing myself to another woman, or my partner feeling the same thing with another man. A friend of mine has had a FFM threesome and she enjoyed the experience, and has no hang ups about it despite the other F being a friend of her partner. For me though, my idea of a threesome is having a toy involved 😉😏

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    TickleMeTots [sign in to see picture]
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    Urgh, this is what I crave so much!

    Me and my partner speak about this often as it's something I fantasize about regularly whether it being MMF or FFM. We have been together for coming up to 5 years now, I've been through the whole jealousy thing, worrying about him having feelings or wanting to have sex with someone else. I'm completely past that and feel I'd 100% be able to have a threesome without any issues.

    With that being said, my partner doesn't feel the same way at all. So until he changes his mind, it will not be happening as he needs to be 100% with it as well.

    Can't forget the third person either as if they become involved then their feelings are something to consider too. If they start having feelings for someone within the relationship, that could be damaging for them.

    All in all, I think it should just stay a fantasy :)

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    bashlou [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for the replies, people! You guys are always so helpful! I am actually pretty surprised that you all have been quick to advise against/ be very, very cautious! I was sort of expecting more people to say 'we did it and it was fine'.

    However, like I said, I have no desire for a threesome (I am perfectly thrilled by my OH!) and he seems unsure about the idea so I have said that I am open to considering it if he ever wants to explore that but we'll just leave it alone for now!

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