• Quandary

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    I am new to here and would like to ask advice over a problem I am trying to deal with. I am 56 and my wife is 53. She admitted to me a few years ago that she is bi-curious but does not have the confidence to do anything about it. I want to support her in her fantasy but do not want to be a voyeur in the process. I would just be happy knowing she had fulfilled a fantasy. How can I find someone who might be able to help her out? I don't want to go onto some tacky website but would prefer a scenario where she meets someone socially that 'seduces' her. It may need to be something that I set up with someone, for instance, but I really do not know. Any help please?

    1448578680

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    Hi...I'm none too sure about this one and there's not much on here that makes me anounce that! But I just know someone will point you in the right direction!

    I agree, you don't want some where seedy, that would be be a bad move! hang in there, someone will get to this thread I promise x

    1448582969
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it is wonderful you are supporting your partner in this way.

    I don't have any specific advice here but wanted to comment how great it is to see a partner wanting to help in that way.

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    Thanks for the support. I really do not know what, if anything, to do about this. Part of me says 'let it all stay as a fantasy.' Part of wants to help her out.

    1448622053

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    I'm amazed no one has come to you with some hard core advice on this one! Are you on twitter? There are a lot of people on there that your wife could start to talk to and get to know more intimately perhaps, and get some sexy banter going on to see if she gets a kick out of it. This saves you ending up accidently somewhere not very nice on line. If would at least let her know if it indeed pressed her buttons.

    I'm sure there's a tonne of websites for this, but I'm just not clued up on it I'm afraid. I'm still hoping someone will come up with a far better solution than my pretty dire one!

    I do take my hat off to you suppoting your wife like this! :)

    Sorry I couldn't be more help! x But talk to her about your fears about her pursuing this!

    1448625017
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    Give it time Ozz. It was only posted last night. Not everyone can see and post straight away!!

    To the OP: I have the same curiosities. I tried to act upon these curiosities. It didn't work out. So the fantasy has stayed a fantasy.

    You say she admitted this a few years ago, does she still feel the same way now? Has she spoken recently about it? If she has then do as much research as you can, and make sure she's happy for this to happen too.

    As for finding "the one" there's no easy way I'm afraid. I used an escort site, and found no one willing unless I paid a fortune, I used a swinging site, found two men posing as women, and the woman I finally agreed to meet with, it just didn't happen on my part. I chickened out. Realised it was just a fantasy.

    I hope you and your wife find the answers you are looking for and wish you the best of luck :)

    1448625421
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    There's a big difference between reality and fantasy. So if you do decide to go ahead with this be prepared for her to change her mind at any time. Discuss it in great detail with each other before even trying to bring in a third party.

    I'm not sure there's an easy way to go about doing this, maybe a swingers club? Or swinging sites you could find via a Google Search? I'm sorry I can't be of more help. x

    1448625422
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    There's a big difference between reality and fantasy. So if you do decide to go ahead with this be prepared for her to change her mind at any time. Discuss it in great detail with each other before even trying to bring in a third party.

    I'm not sure there's an easy way to go about doing this, maybe a swingers club? Or swinging sites you could find via a Google Search? I'm sorry I can't be of more help. x

    1448626013
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    I do actually have a little advice in hindsight:

    If you do arrange to meet someone from the Internet;

    Meet them before you do anything sexual with them. So...

    1. Meet publicly. Arrange somewhere well-lit, with people around.
    2. Before meeting, get details, like phone number, car reg number, make and model. So you can make sure they are genuine and get there early to "scope them out"
    3. Always keep your phone handy. Have a system to get out, like go to the bathroom, send a one word text and then a friend who is nearby can just "suddenly appear!" For safety.
    4. Communicate. Make sure this is something you are both happy with, happy to do, and happy to cancel at the last minute.
    5. Don't share any real personal info, like addresses (not on a first meet!) job details or anything sensitive.

    :)

    1448627960
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I think your best bet is a swingers website . Me and my hubby use one sometimes just to watch cams and occasionally I cam with someone ( with my hubbys full consent and knowledge ) .There are lots of couples on there where the female is bi curious and looking for another woman . You can chat first maybe on cam to see if you're compatable and hit it off before you arrange a meet.

    Don't think I can name the site though as it might be breaking the forum rules but give Google a whirl. Hope this helps :)

    1448633457
    Echo32B [sign in to see picture]
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    I honestly dont think its something you should be organising, I'm bisexual, and my OH knows it, but if he came home with a girl and said 'look I've found you a woman to have sex with' I'd be mortified.

    Talk to her, see if its a fantasy she still actually wants to activley partake in, make it clear that you are okay with it happening, and let it happen organically, on her terms rather than arranging any meet ups with people on the internet. If it were me I'd not want to just have sex with a woman I'd never met, I'd want to see if we had chemistry and to do that I would need to be the one searching for a woman to explore with not my OH, by all means encourage and support her but I dont think you should take up the role of finding the woman.

    For example I know lots of people who actively search for threesomes on the internet thinking the opportunity wouldnt arrise in day to day life, but these things can happen organically (Mine did) and I do think its less contrived than meeting a stranger from the internet.

    Hope you speak to her and you can both be open and honest and come to a decesion, its lovley that you want to support her fantasies. x

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