• Orgasm issues

    1448303157
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1470
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2012

    Ok so for a while now I have had issues having an orgasm solo. Doesn't matter what I use it just doesn't happen. Even plain fingers. Nope.

    But the last two days have been the first time I haven't been able to with my husband. The foreplay/sex is great and I enjoy it immensely, BUT the orgasm just isn't happening! I almost get there and then zilch, nada it just doesn't happen. It's happened or rather not happened twice now.

    No I'm not under any more stress than usual, ok well maybe a tiny bit. Having heating issues and money worries.

    Just worried really, and ready to explode!!

    1448305016
    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 625
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2015

    I don't really have any suggestions but I sometimes go through these periods myself. Sometimes I can get there on my own but not with a partner, sometimes with a partner but not on my own, and sometimes not at all. It's frustrating as hell but what doesn't help is getting annoyed, or angry at yourself/the universe.

    You say you are under a tiny bit more stress but heating and money are pretty big ones. Stress, poor/little sleep and hormones (especially thryoid hormones, for me) are often big factors when I'm having issues orgasming. The suddenly very dark days are also not helping. There are some things we can't change (the weather, some stressors) but if possible, try resolve what you can. It might be enough to bring your stress levels down a little. I sometimes find just having a plan to resolve a problem helps, even if the issue is still there and will be for a while.

    The only thing that seems to actually help for me is forgetting about orgasms. Orgasm isn't the point of sex so try not to worry too much about that and just enjoy it as a whole.

    1448320926
    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 881
    • Joined: 26 Jan 2011

    Friday13 wrote:

    I don't really have any suggestions but I sometimes go through these periods myself. Sometimes I can get there on my own but not with a partner, sometimes with a partner but not on my own, and sometimes not at all. It's frustrating as hell but what doesn't help is getting annoyed, or angry at yourself/the universe.

    You say you are under a tiny bit more stress but heating and money are pretty big ones. Stress, poor/little sleep and hormones (especially thryoid hormones, for me) are often big factors when I'm having issues orgasming. The suddenly very dark days are also not helping. There are some things we can't change (the weather, some stressors) but if possible, try resolve what you can. It might be enough to bring your stress levels down a little. I sometimes find just having a plan to resolve a problem helps, even if the issue is still there and will be for a while.

    The only thing that seems to actually help for me is forgetting about orgasms. Orgasm isn't the point of sex so try not to worry too much about that and just enjoy it as a whole.

    Beautifully said! I sometimes struggle when the stress is on. And then of course you end up stressing because you know you're being too stressed which causes more stress and the vicious cycle continues. The best thing to do for me is forget the orgasms. Don't masturbate for a while until I feel really sensual and make an event of my 'me' time. Candles, a bath, and massage with my partner. Honestly, if it wasn't for massage I think my stress would have killed me and my sex drive years ago! Good luck though sweets. It does suck.xx

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