• General talk: Where to start with prostate massage?

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    So, it's November, the month of prostate aweareness, and lets face it. The advice for where to start with prostate massaging is massively varied and pretty complicated, but at the same time so spread out it is really quite annoying to get a full picture. So here I'm going to do my best to give a general overview of your options, how to use them and the advantages of each.

    Why Prostate Massage?

    Simply put, prostate orgasms are unbelievable, they're unlike any other form of stimulation I've ever recieved. They last as long as I can cope and leave me a hot, sweatty, drained mess. You know those body clenching/curling orgasms you see women have? Yea, that. In addition, prostate massaging has been found to prevent prostate cancer, improve the flow of prostate fluids, help prevent and cure incontinance and reduce the possibility of developing erectile dysfunction.

    How do I Prepare?

    Pretty much everyone worries about cleanliness, anal is messy right? Well, not if you do it right. If we focus on the prostate it's only a few inches inside. Provided you go to the loo an hour before you play, and give a good clean you should be fine. If you're especially worried you can always douche, but only use water. An alternative is to have a shower and just generally wash/rinse everything as best you can. I've never had issues with any real amount of mess (flecks here and there) but do always play on a towel.

    The next important thing is to prepare mentally. Prostate orgasms really take the right mindset, you have to be open to your body taking control. I find I just generally need 5-10 minuets of relaxing/meditating or a glass of whisky to get me going. Other people report needing to have a break for a few days from masturbating or even using ilicit substances, its really something you need to discover for yourself.

    One final comment, you NEED to get yourself some good lube. Water or oil based is generally the most usable. Water has the advantage of being easy to clean, usable with all toys, and coming in a huge variety of types. Oil has the advantage of being extraordinarily slippy and long lasting. The downside of water based is that it can thin/dry out very quickly and the downside of oil being it is unusable with latex (you dont want latex toys anyway), can stain sheets and can be a pain to clean afterwards. My personal recomendations are sliquid sassy; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13181 for water or extra virgin unrefined coconut oil for oil.

    First Forray

    To begin with I would recomend getting turned on, find your favourite porn/have your SO do some sexy things for you, whatever you enjoy. Lube up your fingers and start gently massaging the entrance to your butt, be gently and just enjoy the sensations. When you're ready gently put 1 finger inside, dont worry about adding more lube, there really is no such thing as too much! I find it easiest to lay on my back, with hips raised in the air slightly. With your middle finger slowly push in and up, you'll feel the top wall of your butt, slowly make rotating 'come hither' motions with your finger, every time gently pushing further back. You'll find the prostate several inches (for me, around 2/3rds of my finger in). It feels like a lump, around the size of a wallnut, and for me is smooth. Once you find it be gentle, the massage part is as important as the prostate part. It wont respond like your dick, going full power straight off wont help you! Just keep with the gentle come hither motions, more brushing than touching the prostate. While doing it just clear your mind, start deep breathing or whatever helps you stop thinking. Personally I find my fingers do little for me, at best some gently pangs of pleasure, but it doesnt go anywhere for me. However, getting to know where things are is important. If you have an SO do this for you it can be really helpful, as getting at the prostate yourself is a bit uncomfortable/awkward.

    I would really recommend a little vibrating toy like this; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=23982 . Once you're warmed up its easy to pop in (remember, more lube!), the toy will sit and put gentle pressure on your prostate, even just holding it in and masturbating (or recieving a blowjob) can be extremely pleasureable. The vibrations are strong enough to provide an 'ooh' sensation. IT does have a small design issue in that the final bulb does not have much of a gap before the crossbar, which can make keeping it in without holding it difficult.

    So That Was Fun, Now What?

    At this point you probably have discovered either its repulsive and you hate it or theres some nice feelings you want to explore. Before you move on up to a premiere toy and really work on those orgasms I believe that learning to control the muscles and to let your body take over is incredibly important and useful. For this, the aneros toys are really the best out there. The concept of the aneros toys is that they sit inside you and are shaped such that when you clench/contract your pelvic floor and internal muscles the head gently moves and massages the prostate. The idea is to start with gentle contractions and let your body take over, once involuntary contractions are happening you let them build into a huge orgasm. Many men actually dont get enough stimulation from the aneros to orgasm, but many of those also haven't put the effort into learning to use it and into their own body.

    So, which aneros to chose? As a beginner the aneros helix syn; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24600 is my defact option. Its coated in a firm, but smooth silicone, is small enough to be comfortable internally and on insertion for nearly anyone and is the middle size. Using the helix should teach you about what you need. For me, it helix barely stimulates me, even after repeted use. It taught me that I require far more intense stimulation to get anywhere, so I moved upto the progasm; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=10722 which is far larger and made entirely of extremely hard plastic. Thankfully you can take advantage of lovehoneys awesome returns policy here until you find the right toy for you.

    When you use the aneros you have to be relaxed and clear of mind, you need to start very gently and focus on the feelings deep in your prostate (which by now you should be able to identify). More details can be found on this excellent resource; http://wiki.malegspot.com/index.php?title=Main_Page but it can be a bit confusing. The key concepts are; Stay relaxed, start gentle, mix holding pressure and gentle forward and backward motion, when your body starts to move on its own let it go and just observe how it feels, tighter/stronger clenches do not nessicararly make a better feeling. Even if you dont orgasm from them, I love using my progasm as warm up.

    So, Wheres That Orgasm?

    It can be really offputting. You've done all those things, explored your body and still no earth shattering orgasms? Well, by now you should know what you enjoy. Was the vibration from the bionic really powering you up? Or the manual fingering? Did you need a gentle helix syn or a powerful progasm? Answering these questions should tell you what sort of stimulation you want. Fundamentally theres massaging/rubbing and vibrating. Massaging/rubbing can be further split into manual (dildos) and automatic (nexus toys).

    Dildos are an incredibly personal thing and offering advice is a bit pointless in my view. I love my maia swirly; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28353 and sensual glass http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30942 but obviously the size/shape/density/thrustability is all totally variable.

    So, if you want an gentle massaging toy I would recommend the nexus sparta. You can read my review on the product page; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34698 . This toy has firm, but gentle targetted massaging. Its incredibly comfortable and stable enough to wear during sex or even wandering about if you can cope with it. I love using my nexus to warm up with when I cant be bothered with my progasm. Its a great toy and fairly cheap too.

    If you were wanting a more intense massaging toy you're looking at either the nexus revo 2 (or stealth) or the nexus intense. The revo 2 and stealth are identical, aside the remote. These toys have a more wide ranging motion, the bases vibrate which massages the perineum/outside of your butt and the heads have a big range of motion. The intense is extremely intense, and can be overly intense for some people. These toys have a range of intensities though, so you can pick your poison and swap out with the LH returns unti lyou get the right one.

    Now, vibrating toys are my jazz. In terms of the top quality toys I would suggest either the L'Amorouse extra quiet; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30909 or Lelo hugo (or bruno) http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34279 . The hugo and bruno are functionally similar aside remote (more on that later). All 3 of these toys have outragously strong vibration. On the highest setting I can feel my rosa in my chest. The hugo/bruno are slimmer than the Rosa, so can be easier to insert for beginners or on low warm up. The rosa has very slightly more powerful vibrations but for me the hugo/bruno focus them a little better so it works out the same. There are multiple functions on all of the toys, personally I prefer using the internal motor only as it really helps me focus on my prostate but finding your own speed and setting is something for experimentation. Again, max power does not equal max pleasure, most of the time setting 5 (of 7) is the best for me. About the hugo remote; the remote is useful for ease of use but really comes into its own in couples play. There is a mode where the hugo vibrations with intensity based on shaking the remote. You can see where this is going right? You can strap it to a partners hand and have them dildo themselves or give you a handjob, pop the hugo in and put the remote on your hips during sex, etc etc. There are so many options for that setting in couples play its amazing. In general just being able to give an SO the remote and have them play with you is great.

    So, I've missed alot of things out, and there are many many more toys out there but these are my choice recomendations. I'll answer any questions as best I can any anyone adding to this would be great!

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you been on here before under a different name?

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    Nein

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    Lovethekink [sign in to see picture]
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    Great post. Sparta has gone on my wishlist for hubby for christmas 😄

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    Its a really great little toy. Using it during sex is actually incredible! I only wish it had a remote and a few more settings so your partner could really toy with you.

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok, I have to update this. The lelo hugo is head and shoulders above the Rosa. The Rosa is phenomenally amazing but it is quite clear thats its a gspot toy first and a prostate toy second. The rosa is quite long, so it 'misses' and reaches around the prostate (or atleast, mine) and relies on intense vibrations to stimulate the whole area. The hugo is smaller, harder and far more focussed. Its vibrations are almost as strong but are directed straight into the prostate. Its incredibly comfortable too. The hugo (and I guess bruno too?) is absolute top of the list for vibrating toys now by far.

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    Thumper the Rabbit [sign in to see picture]
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    This is great! Really informative and useful, well done

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    IMO 👍🏼

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    You do know people have actually written reviews on prostate toys? A lot of these reviews are really informative. I would suggest anybody looking to venture into these toys to read the reviews because what is suitable for one person isn't for another. We all know our likes and dislikes and by reading the informative reviews you may find someone has commented on something that you yourself like or dislike.

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    Do you have a blog?

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    No blog. I do read reviews but for a beginners perspective most of them are pretty bad. They dont explain the advantages/disadvantages and generally boil down to 'made me cum' most of the time. This leads to alot of guys assuming that if it doesnt work for them something is wrong and they just cant prostate orgasm at all. Even worse, there are great toys out there that I think every guy whos interested should have and know how to use, like the aneros specifically, that have some really awkward reviews that dont really explain the main point of the toy. Even worse, wheres a beginner supposed to start? Reviews dont really talkabout that. Since we get alot of questions on it here I thought I might aswell throw my musings up.

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    Rimmer57 [sign in to see picture]
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    The What a great thorough detailed account of one of my favourite things. The outcome is always mind blowing and draining, It takes me ages to recover from a prostrate massage from my wife, she always loves to see me enjoying being under her control.
    Pegguin if your worried about the mess, try douching before you you get down to things, and do it before any anal play, also it's a sensation on its own.

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    WillC [sign in to see picture]
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    Very informative,must try this!

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    I dont find a need to douche to be honest. Going to the loo and eating plenty of fiber seems to do it, as far as prostate stimulating goes anyway. If i was going to have someone else play with me or dildo I would.

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you tested all the toys you list above?

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    All aside the nexus revo/intense.

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    LittleSwitchBitch [sign in to see picture]
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    pegguin wrote:

    No blog. I do read reviews but for a beginners perspective most of them are pretty bad. They dont explain the advantages/disadvantages and generally boil down to 'made me cum' most of the time. This leads to alot of guys assuming that if it doesnt work for them something is wrong and they just cant prostate orgasm at all. Even worse, there are great toys out there that I think every guy whos interested should have and know how to use, like the aneros specifically, that have some really awkward reviews that dont really explain the main point of the toy. Even worse, wheres a beginner supposed to start? Reviews dont really talkabout that. Since we get alot of questions on it here I thought I might aswell throw my musings up.

    I only read the start of what u wrote and stopped!! basically what I got outta the start of that comment was..... U said everyone who reviews prostate toys don't explain well enough !! Pretty rotten statement to make imo... I haven't reviewed one but *if* I had , I'd take that statement to heart. Whether or not it was meant in badness, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't, I think I should consider how you word stuff in future!!!
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    Foxxy [sign in to see picture]
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    I have to say, there are a LOT of very amazing male bloggers out there, who do a very good job of explaining products and their experiences. As a blogger myself, who puts a lot of time and effort into my reviews and information, I know the amount of work that they do. I'm sorry if you haven't found them yet, but I can assure you, they are there, and they're well respected

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    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not saying great reviewers dont exist, but most of them focus on the intermediate/experienced folk (because thats the largest base looking for reviews). Making comparisons between similar toys is great if you know them but for a beginner who just wants to know 'where do i get started and what am I actually supposed to do' most of that content isn't useful. Thats all I'm saying.

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    Foxxy [sign in to see picture]
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    Stuburns wrote:

    Have you tested all the toys you list above?

    pegguin wrote:

    All aside the nexus revo/intense.

    And the Hugo and Bruno - You wrote the post yesterday, before your Hugo Arrived :-)

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