• Squirting

    1267470442
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    sorry that should have read while the bad guys at least get in side the happy life.

    1267473987
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    I really feel for you alone4ever but in these cases I often find the problem isn't being 'a nice guy' but low self esteem.

    This came from an article I just read

    Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

    Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

    ***************************

    You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

    ***************************

    The article is here http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

    Please do not take the title seriously, it's really written with the intention to help a dude out. But it would be interesting to see if anything in it hits home for you, even if it makes you squirm.

    1267497252
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Columbus wrote:

    Malteser81 wrote:

    jaycloth wrote:

    I don't care what anyone says - its just wee.

    Not meaning to offend, but I assume that u have never experianced making a woman ejaculate like this as I can assure u is isnt from a womans ureathra.

    Actually my understanding is that it is ejaculated out of the urethra - which is why you get the 'need to pee' sensation...

    Interesting debate here - and I don't wish to stir things up again - but I just wanted to draw attention to this bit again and mention that we all know male ejaculate is also ejaculated via the urethra. Therefore anyone who thinks female ejaculation is "just wee" must by the same argument decide that male ejaculation is "just wee"....both conclusions = no fun!! (unless you're into that kind of thing of course!).

    Just my 2 penneths.

    Whilst I'm venturing into this thread (I tend to avoid as I struggle to come let alone squirt!) I'd like to say, good links Tigerlilies, particularly the cosmocking one - I'm enjoying the posts quite a lot right now

    Ax

    1267522300
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks tigerlilies that helps and answers other questions too, an answer at last, and from a woman, not one of those i can get you laid in 7 days guys. Us, "nice guys" not "Nice Guys" that is according to belle, Tigerlilies, just want to give you our love, and cherish you. Tigerlilies: what a woman. see all you have to do is teach us, and we will both benefit. communication, co-operation, works wonders. on that note.

    To add to the possible helpful information on female ejaculation; which is after all what you are trying to do, i hate the word, "squirting" dont know who thought it up sounds like a man who wanted to move the process out of the male relm, would any women like to comment on that point.

    anyway here goes; during prostrate massage the gland produces large amounts of the clear slightly thick salty prostrate fluid, contracting the pelvic floor muscles PF stops it from draining out of the urethra, opening the PF muscles as when wanting to we releases it. Ejaculation uses rapid contractions of these muscles. in male ejaculation semen is much thicker than prostrate fluid, so it is more difficult for the body to expel it, so pressure has to build before the shot is fired, but with more force because of the pressure build up. quantity also improves the force. Female ejaculate being thinner, as it contains only gland fluid and no sperm to thicken it, will therefore need to use the quantity factor to achieve ejaculation hence the soak the bed sheet senario.

    So i think that it should help for a woman to tense her PF muscles while stimulation builds up a large enough reservoir of ejaculate, so stay below the orgasm threshold for has long as possible, then as you go into orgasm pulse the PF muscles, the more control you have over them and the stronger they the better your ejaculation will be. remember us guys don't need to think of making the contraction nature does it for us, so you will need to work on this, if it doesn't come naturally to you, as it seems to in some women. I think there is some random crossover in natural gender based body functions. for example some men me included can and it took practice have full body orgasms, like those of a woman. So why shouldn't a woman be able to learn to ejaculate either by accident or on purpose.

    To AdnaW right on the money, ejaculate many well contain some urine, in both men and women, as I said earlier the same muscles are involved in ejaculation that are used to help start urination, so it is possible that small amounts do get released during the process, but as you rightly say if it were all urine because of this then men would without doubt piss them selves as they came. no man can urinate with a serious hard on, believe me I have been bursting to go at this time and couldn't, you have to sit on the loo and wait for the switch to go the other way. nature stepping in to simplify things why have seperate muscles for something using the same bodily exit, when all you have to do is use a software over-ride patch in the brain.

    so stop worrying about the male doubters, are there any women doubters? you may struggle to come but have you ever let a man tell you that your orgasm doesn't feel like the top of your head is about to come off, and every muscle in your body has champagne bubbles flowing through them, just because his orgasm doesn't get out of the groin area.

    I love women because they are so self-abasing sometimes, and not up them selves. it's a great feeling when you stop a woman putting herself down, has a man in another thread i posted on will have found out, now he has succeeded in doing just that. But women are learning to do it for themselves, fantastic, just please don't over do it, i would hate to manage to start dating again only find I have fallen for an arse hole. it would be poetic justice though from a womans point of view. but i don't think many of you would think it its smart to be an arse hole, so i live in hope.

    so if women can stop being self-abasing maybe i can too, and if i can love a woman who isn't then maybe some woman can learn to love a man who is trying not to be. and maybe get a kick out of helping him not to be. I know at least some women hate to have to tell a man how to do what he should already know who to do, but hey here's a thought, if you could do that, you could pick some nice self-abasing clingy man and mould him into the perfect man far easier than trying to turn an arse hole into a nice pair of shoes to go out in. rather than use him up and spit him out, as Tigerlilies put it. Doesn't that make that kind of woman a female arse hole. Im starting to see common ground here, please lets try to stand on it together, great changes can occur for both sides in the war an end to it ?

    Do women think that changing a nice guy will be has hard as changing arse holes has proved to be, your wrong we are just waiting for some woman to teach us if only you can get over the why should i have to mind set. as i have said we nice guys love to make a woman feel good about herself, so why not give it a try some time? kind of repeating myself here but re-enforcing an idea never hurts.

    1267544873
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    Alone4ever, the best advice for you is rellaaxxx. Breathe, and be confident. There's so many intelligent ideas running in your head but there's a way to turn that into a focused confidence in your sense of self.

    If you get to know more about what you believe, the things you stand up for, what makes you passionate and gives you pleasure, you won't need anyone to teach you. People can inspire us, sure. But change comes from within. Most women aren't interested in changing douche bags, as they are lost souls. Experience tells us it can't be done until that person becomes autonomous with their emotions and self belief.

    You sound like a lot of men I know. Filled up with so much love that it's brimming over and they don't know where to put it. Use that to be open to everything. It's difficult when you want to love and be loved to not have high expectations from every encounter but it is best to approach everything with a more 'this is nice, this is fun, I enjoy this one2one we're having' than a 'what can this person do for me, and I for them?' Certainly leave love potential on the back burner for a while. Relationships, learning and loving take time, they're something that grows and everyone must start with a tiny seed. Not a full whacking oak. Um, clunky tree metaphor sounded better in my head, but you get me?

    May I ask, are you getting out there and dating? Often we over think and feel these things when we're stuck at home not meeting people. When you're on the scene and going with the flow everything will feel much more organic and natural.

    It's hackneyed, but relax, be yourself and love yourself.

    1267554443
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    you're wonderful, Tigerlilies,

    No i don't date, or get out there; my psychologist, keeps trying to drag me out to places to make like minded friends but I have become stubborn about it and tend to dig my heels in. especially since i ended my first all be it short relationship in 25 years, because I felt used. I have been told by people that my mistake is I just try to be friends instead of making a move. but when you feel like you have been backed over by a steam roller a couple of dozen times, and all that is left off you is what is stuck in the cracks in the tarmac; it's hard to pick your self up because you're so strung out and in so many pieces.

    I look at myself and i know that this may sound self-abasing but it's all true, im almost 50, 6 stone over weight, got no money to go out anyway. thats before you take into account the fact I can't manage to keep an erection within 10 feet of a naked pussy. the several hundred self harm scars, no trunks on a beach for me. on the inside i am so angry because of what happened to me as a child, but it's all turned inward, on myself, the self harm, attempts to kill myself. the last one a year ago, i literally picked up a carving knife and drove it into my chest, just in the right spot for it to go up into my heart only i caught a rib.

    no woman deserves to inherit that in a man, so I have just about given up. then I am so feminine in the head, I think because I wish that I had been born A woman so that they would not have been interested in me as a child, I hate it when someone leaves the seat up, I can't wee standing up for the life of me, I go through more body lotion etc, I shave, and epilate from neck to toe, because I can't bare to have body hair. I could go on but I will stop now.

    All I have left now is a strong desire to help others, as I know my body and it's sexual responses having explored it to try and find answers, this is one area I my be able to provide help for others. also it has been good to talk to such as your self. maybe I will find the will here to try again but, it is the other person that I am thinking of.

    I had no expectations when I did try to date in the past, i really did just want to have a best friend to talk to to go to the pictures with or for a meal, maybe a hug sometimes. thats what i miss most someone just to hold.

    going back to the sex thing, my sexuality, has no label to fit it. sex to my mind is to be penetrated, but I know for sure now after much soul searching that I am not gay, I like women, not men. so the best description I can find is to think of myself as a male lesbian. A complete contradiction in terms, but its the only thing that fits.

    Hope this is not too heavy, but it feels a relief to express it to you. this place is a gift for me. thanks.

    1267556753
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies Just read heartless-bitches.com. Now I have offically retired from the dating game. I truely Am A lost cause. And an arse hole. and totally clueless. Done here I think.

    1267557025
    JohnAndMoni [sign in to see picture]
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    If it helps - I can relate the experience I had with my wife. It was while using a bullet vibe. I started by going down on her and getting things going. We then moved the vibe over the clit and started on the lowest setting. Next was some gentle finger insertion.

    I guess the entire process to this point was about 10 minutes.

    Over the next 5 - 10 minutes, she gradually increased the power while I slightly increased the friction towards the upper area (G-spot). She really fell into the moment and was not at all rushed or pressured. Just enjoying the pleasure. All of a sudden - gusher! It was her first - and what a doozie.

    Some pointers I would give...Take your time. Don't go to hard too fast. And don't expect the big O to happen on the first try. We've tried to get the squirt before - and to no success...but when we wern't even trying - it happened.

    She was on her back - and arched upwards just before (in case that helps).

    On a side note - make sure you have a towel or something to help catch the squirt...it can leave quite a little puddle.

    1267557941
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    you're wonderful, Tigerlilies,

    No i don't date, or get out there; my psychologist, keeps trying to drag me out to places to make like minded friends but I have become stubborn about it and tend to dig my heels in. especially since i ended my first all be it short relationship in 25 years, because I felt used. I have been told by people that my mistake is I just try to be friends instead of making a move. but when you feel like you have been backed over by a steam roller a couple of dozen times, and all that is left off you is what is stuck in the cracks in the tarmac; it's hard to pick your self up because you're so strung out and in so many pieces.

    I'm glad to hear you're seeing someone to help you, that's already a massive step and brave, so well done. I understand why it's hard to get out but

    Have you ever seen surfers? When they see a big, bloody almighty wave coming towards them they don't swim away, they paddle harder and harder straight into that thing and that's what gets them over it. It's going to be hard getting out but it is the same for everyone and the stress of it is always part of the deal. But you NEED to get out there and people are missing out if you don't. You've got hurt in your past but it sounds like you're taking steps to confront it and deal. If you can do that, then you can do this. More importantly you can learn from it. You're not going to let someone treat you like that again because you've already been there. The hardest part of these things is starting them.

    I look at myself and i know that this may sound self-abasing but it's all true, im almost 50, 6 stone over weight, got no money to go out anyway. thats before you take into account the fact I can't manage to keep an erection within 10 feet of a naked pussy.

    I'm not going to lie to you it's not a great brief for your dating profile. But you know what? I bet there's a fair few distinguished men on here, with a bit more to love who aren't rolling in cash who can back me up in saying you can still rock it. Holla at me if you're there fellas. It's about loving these statistics not curling up in self loathing. Lovers worth a damn don't care how many cars you have and more people than you would believe think appearances are mere packaging.

    Secondly it's how you look at it? Almost 50? Phhht, that means you've got life experience and you've seen a bit of this world. This is your selling point, you're not a kid you're an adult.

    Six stone overwieght? Well I'm going to be blunt here, if you don't like it, this is another reason to get out there and get fit. Join a local fitness club, aerobics class (Cheap ones appear locally) get running around that block, power walk if you have to. If you work on yourself and make your body a temple you'll feel a million times better. I think it would be good for you to set goals that are about you. If the people you see on daytime TV can be slimmer of the year, so can you. Also ask yourself, would you accept a woman in your life who's of a certain age with a bit extra chub? If yes, than why would they not be interested in you too?

    There's a lot of help on offer for the erection problem which is incredibly common. All kinds of men encounter it and some point and it has nothing to do with your value as a person. Speaking to your GP would be a great step but so would exercise. Stress isn't great either so again find ways to stop, breathe and focus. Sex isn't about 'performing' it's about fun, connecting with someone and laughing so hard you fall off the bed and if your lucky, love too. If I got involved with a guy with this problem I would work around it.

    the several hundred self harm scars, no trunks on a beach for me. on the inside i am so angry because of what happened to me as a child, but it's all turned inward, on myself, the self harm, attempts to kill myself. the last one a year ago, i literally picked up a carving knife and drove it into my chest, just in the right spot for it to go up into my heart only i caught a rib. No woman deserves to inherit that in a man, so I have just about given up.

    This is all awful but you're still here. A survivor is someone who can look at all these things and take strength and learning from them. If you get out there, start meeting people, look after yourself and invest hope in the future this past will become prologue. It will always be with you but it's something that came before the new you

    No woman deserves that? Well, if you keep on a path of recovery I think any woman would be pretty darn happy with a guy who's withstood everything life can throw at them. A man isn't just a warrior because he can wrestle an alligator and get a nun pregnant, he's a warrior when he confronts the most painful emotional hurt in his life and chooses to take nothing but love. Then still has the strength to get out there and give it a go. What isn't attractive is someone who curls up and gives up.

    There are millions of people that would be hardened and bitter in your shoes. Sounds like you couldn't be further than that. That's another thing too. Many people have been through what you have been through. Some worse, some less so. Finding a support network might be a good idea. The point is you're not alone.

    then I am so feminine in the head, I think because I wish that I had been born a woman so that they would not have been interested in me as a child,

    Have you discussed this with your psychologist? It's very common to feel this in your situation. I think your ideas of masculine and feminine have deep roots in the environment you were exposed to at a young age. Your head, your thoughts and your feelings are in my opinion a part of your soul, not a part of your gender. Companies, TV and magazines who want to tell you stuff will talk about the gender divide (which I'm not denying exists) but it's best to not listen to this stuff. Having emotions, hurt, dreams, aspirations and thoughts in general is from being a person first of all.

    The way you phrase this makes it sound like you're not completely over the fact that what happened to you was not your fault. As if you could have done something to prevent it when in fact I would hazard a guess that someone exploited you. This is about power and unfortunately someone who's lacking a very deep part of themselves doing something horrible to you. Again this has nothing to do with gender and nothing to do with you.

    I hate it when someone leaves the seat up, I can't wee standing up for the life of me, I go through more body lotion etc, I shave, and epilate from neck to toe, because I can't bare to have body hair. I could go on but I will stop now.

    Viva la difference! There's lots of men out there like you, you just don't see them wearing t-shirt to advertise it. So you epilate, so you hate how annoying loo seat politics are. It's little peccadilloes that makes us who we are, don't over analyse yourself. I like to eat sausage rolls from the middle and I have a fear of stingrays. It doesn't have anything to do with my value as a person, it's just trivia.

    All I have left now is a strong desire to help others, as I know my body and it's sexual responses having explored it to try and find answers, this is one area I my be able to provide help for others. also it has been good to talk to such as your self. maybe I will find the will here to try again but, it is the other person that I am thinking of.

    Hooray! You're miles ahead of many, many people who haven't been through half the stuff you've been through. How far you must have come. Take some confidence in this and see how mature and respectable it makes you and keep going.

    I had no expectations when I did try to date in the past, i really did just want to have a best friend to talk to to go to the pictures with or for a meal, maybe a hug sometimes. thats what i miss most someone just to hold.

    You're lonely, I hear that. You want what everyone wants. It might be an idea to start joining groups for the sake of meeting friends. Once you start getting a posse together and meet people who you like to be around you will a lot better with a support network. If you meet someone special that's a bonus. I'm sure you know a relationship doesn't solve everything and it's amazing how good, good friends will make you feel even if you don't have another half. It's usually when you're in this happy space that something comes along when you weren't even looking.



    going back to the sex thing, my sexuality, has no label to fit it. sex to my mind is to be penetrated, but I know for sure now after much soul searching that I am not gay, I like women, not men. so the best description I can find is to think of myself as a male lesbian. A complete contradiction in terms, but its the only thing that fits.

    Straight, gay, bi. Don't sweat over it. You seem made up in your mind but whether you sleep with men, women or a teddy bear don't lose one night's sleep over it. Again it doesn't contribute to your value as a person.

    A male lesbian? Oh honey I don't think so. A man who isn't a caveman perhaps? A guy in touch with his feelings? Someone who's on a quest? A journey of to discover themselves? I guy who takes grooming, appearances into consideration. My dear that is called a catch these days. If you don't get out there, no one is going to take the bait. There are many, many men like you with these concerns, you just haven't been heavily exposed to them yet. I remember before I went to uni I felt like the only woman with half a brain. This was because I lived in hicksville and I went to school with an army of daddy's little princesses. Stop trying to label yourself and enjoy what makes you you.

    Hope this is not too heavy, but it feels a relief to express it to you. this place is a gift for me. thanks.

    That's what it's for amigo. Hope it helps. Do you think it might be an idea to take this in to your psychologist? They often recommend writing your feelings down and it can be easier than talking about it sometimes. Also, next time your psychologist tells you to get out, ask them how. What do they think will work for you, where should you go?


    I'm trying to think of sites and organisations I can recommend to help you meet people and get out and about. Any suggestions OA recruits?


    Tigerlilies

    x

    1267557970
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    oh bugger, that's meant to italicised in parts, if i paste that again can love bot delete the first post?

    1267558047
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    you're wonderful, Tigerlilies,

    No i don't date, or get out there; my psychologist, keeps trying to drag me out to places to make like minded friends but I have become stubborn about it and tend to dig my heels in. especially since i ended my first all be it short relationship in 25 years, because I felt used. I have been told by people that my mistake is I just try to be friends instead of making a move. but when you feel like you have been backed over by a steam roller a couple of dozen times, and all that is left off you is what is stuck in the cracks in the tarmac; it's hard to pick your self up because you're so strung out and in so many pieces.

    I'm glad to hear you're seeing someone to help you, that's already a massive step and brave, so well done. I understand why it's hard to get out but

    Have you ever seen surfers? When they see a big, bloody almighty wave coming towards them they don't swim away, they paddle harder and harder straight into that thing and that's what gets them over it. It's going to be hard getting out but it is the same for everyone and the stress of it is always part of the deal. But you NEED to get out there and people are missing out if you don't. You've got hurt in your past but it sounds like you're taking steps to confront it and deal. If you can do that, then you can do this. More importantly you can learn from it. You're not going to let someone treat you like that again because you've already been there. The hardest part of these things is starting them.

    I look at myself and i know that this may sound self-abasing but it's all true, im almost 50, 6 stone over weight, got no money to go out anyway. thats before you take into account the fact I can't manage to keep an erection within 10 feet of a naked pussy.

    I'm not going to lie to you it's not a great brief for your dating profile. But you know what? I bet there's a fair few distinguished men on here, with a bit more to love who aren't rolling in cash who can back me up in saying you can still rock it. Holla at me if you're there fellas. It's about loving these statistics not curling up in self loathing. Lovers worth a damn don't care how many cars you have and more people than you would believe think appearances are mere packaging.

    Secondly it's how you look at it? Almost 50? Phhht, that means you've got life experience and you've seen a bit of this world. This is your selling point, you're not a kid you're an adult.

    Six stone overwieght? Well I'm going to be blunt here, if you don't like it, this is another reason to get out there and get fit. Join a local fitness club, aerobics class (Cheap ones appear locally) get running around that block, power walk if you have to. If you work on yourself and make your body a temple you'll feel a million times better. I think it would be good for you to set goals that are about you. If the people you see on daytime TV can be slimmer of the year, so can you. Also ask yourself, would you accept a woman in your life who's of a certain age with a bit extra chub? If yes, than why would they not be interested in you too?

    There's a lot of help on offer for the erection problem which is incredibly common. All kinds of men encounter it and some point and it has nothing to do with your value as a person. Speaking to your GP would be a great step but so would exercise. Stress isn't great either so again find ways to stop, breathe and focus. Sex isn't about 'performing' it's about fun, connecting with someone and laughing so hard you fall off the bed and if your lucky, love too. If I got involved with a guy with this problem I would work around it.

    the several hundred self harm scars, no trunks on a beach for me. on the inside i am so angry because of what happened to me as a child, but it's all turned inward, on myself, the self harm, attempts to kill myself. the last one a year ago, i literally picked up a carving knife and drove it into my chest, just in the right spot for it to go up into my heart only i caught a rib. No woman deserves to inherit that in a man, so I have just about given up.

    This is all awful but you're still here. A survivor is someone who can look at all these things and take strength and learning from them. If you get out there, start meeting people, look after yourself and invest hope in the future this past will become prologue. It will always be with you but it's something that came before the new you

    No woman deserves that? Well, if you keep on a path of recovery I think any woman would be pretty darn happy with a guy who's withstood everything life can throw at them. A man isn't just a warrior because he can wrestle an alligator and get a nun pregnant, he's a warrior when he confronts the most painful emotional hurt in his life and chooses to take nothing but love. Then still has the strength to get out there and give it a go. What isn't attractive is someone who curls up and gives up.

    There are millions of people that would be hardened and bitter in your shoes. Sounds like you couldn't be further than that. That's another thing too. Many people have been through what you have been through. Some worse, some less so. Finding a support network might be a good idea. The point is you're not alone.

    then I am so feminine in the head, I think because I wish that I had been born a woman so that they would not have been interested in me as a child,

    Have you discussed this with your psychologist? It's very common to feel this in your situation. I think your ideas of masculine and feminine have deep roots in the environment you were exposed to at a young age. Your head, your thoughts and your feelings are in my opinion a part of your soul, not a part of your gender. Companies, TV and magazines who want to tell you stuff will talk about the gender divide (which I'm not denying exists) but it's best to not listen to this stuff. Having emotions, hurt, dreams, aspirations and thoughts in general is from being a person first of all.

    The way you phrase this makes it sound like you're not completely over the fact that what happened to you was not your fault. As if you could have done something to prevent it when in fact I would hazard a guess that someone exploited you. This is about power and unfortunately someone who's lacking a very deep part of themselves doing something horrible to you. Again this has nothing to do with gender and nothing to do with you.

    I hate it when someone leaves the seat up, I can't wee standing up for the life of me, I go through more body lotion etc, I shave, and epilate from neck to toe, because I can't bare to have body hair. I could go on but I will stop now.

    Viva la difference! There's lots of men out there like you, you just don't see them wearing t-shirt to advertise it. So you epilate, so you hate how annoying loo seat politics are. It's little peccadilloes that makes us who we are, don't over analyse yourself. I like to eat sausage rolls from the middle and I have a fear of stingrays. It doesn't have anything to do with my value as a person, it's just trivia.

    All I have left now is a strong desire to help others, as I know my body and it's sexual responses having explored it to try and find answers, this is one area I my be able to provide help for others. also it has been good to talk to such as your self. maybe I will find the will here to try again but, it is the other person that I am thinking of.

    Hooray! You're miles ahead of many, many people who haven't been through half the stuff you've been through. How far you must have come. Take some confidence in this and see how mature and respectable it makes you and keep going.

    I had no expectations when I did try to date in the past, i really did just want to have a best friend to talk to to go to the pictures with or for a meal, maybe a hug sometimes. thats what i miss most someone just to hold.

    You're lonely, I hear that. You want what everyone wants. It might be an idea to start joining groups for the sake of meeting friends. Once you start getting a posse together and meet people who you like to be around you will a lot better with a support network. If you meet someone special that's a bonus. I'm sure you know a relationship doesn't solve everything and it's amazing how good, good friends will make you feel even if you don't have another half. It's usually when you're in this happy space that something comes along when you weren't even looking.

    going back to the sex thing, my sexuality, has no label to fit it. sex to my mind is to be penetrated, but I know for sure now after much soul searching that I am not gay, I like women, not men. so the best description I can find is to think of myself as a male lesbian. A complete contradiction in terms, but its the only thing that fits.

    Straight, gay, bi. Don't sweat over it. You seem made up in your mind but whether you sleep with men, women or a teddy bear don't lose one night's sleep over it. Again it doesn't contribute to your value as a person.

    A male lesbian? Oh honey I don't think so. A man who isn't a caveman perhaps? A guy in touch with his feelings? Someone who's on a quest? A journey of to discover themselves? I guy who takes grooming, appearances into consideration. My dear that is called a catch these days. If you don't get out there, no one is going to take the bait. There are many, many men like you with these concerns, you just haven't been heavily exposed to them yet. I remember before I went to uni I felt like the only woman with half a brain. This was because I lived in hicksville and I went to school with an army of daddy's little princesses. Stop trying to label yourself and enjoy what makes you you.

    Hope this is not too heavy, but it feels a relief to express it to you. this place is a gift for me. thanks.

    That's what it's for amigo. Hope it helps. Do you think it might be an idea to take this in to your psychologist? They often recommend writing your feelings down and it can be easier than talking about it sometimes. Also, next time your psychologist tells you to get out, ask them how. What do they think will work for you, where should you go?


    I'm trying to think of sites and organisations I can recommend to help you meet people and get out and about. Any suggestions OA recruits?


    Tigerlilies

    x

    1267558165
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    PS the heartles bitches post is meant to spell out that giving up is not what you want to do and I would go so far to say that it wouldn't be an option because you have so much inside you to not let that happen. Every day, every step you take to becoming a pro-active, confident, sociable person is another step to people seeing that. It's not going to happen over night and it will be hard but you can do it.

    1267558415
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    PS, aloneforever I recommend starting your own thread. That way I can stop hijacking the squirting thread and you can get the whole OA to suggest things to help you.

    x

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh that's interesting then why I have been able to ejaculate but not actually felt like I've had an orgasm... we will continue to experiement anyway

    1267580047
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    My experiments with the Tracey Cox G Spot kit have taught me to have patience. It was uncomfortable at first but something's starting to feel good. No g-spot inspired orgasms yet but I think it might happen.

    In the mean time I'm working on my kegels which I've heard are a really big help to this kind of orgasm.

    1267580109
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    I did have a G Spot orgasm, once *rolls eyes* when I used the clit stim of a Jessica Rabbit. It's too awkward with the ears but it's lead me to think that soft rubber and silicone might be more forgiving than plastic.

    1267583279
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    i never said it isnt possible to ejaculate without orgasm, i said it was possible for a man to orgasm without ejaculating. so making the distinction that they are two independent events. not forced to happen at the same time. women seemed to be saying that if i can have a G spot orgasm why can't i ejaculate. never thought to say you can ejaculate without an orgasm who presumptous of me sorry. only recently has it become PC to refer to the male cum as an orgasm. as man i had been lead to believe that the male cum was far less than the female orgasm. and so we weren't aloud to use such a lofty term and indeed considered it unmanly to think we wanted to have one, while secretly feeling jealous to death. therefore we thought of it as just one event a one shot thing that if you were a lucky bastard you could manage again in ten or twenty minutes if your OH hadn't gone off the boil before you got it up again. PC came along and suddenly we could call it an orgasm. but most of us still thought just the name had changed. Tantric masters claimed they could have the "female orgasm" but it would take decades for a mere mortal man to learn.

    now women are learning to ejaculate, are we men leaning to have the "female orgasm" i hope so if you aren't give it a go. you never know. my post on another thread on the female orgasm can't remember the threads proper name. is just as valid to help a man have deeper orgasms.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    sorry columbus were you talking to johnandmoni, if you were and missed my post above his, the take a look it may help

    still waiting for a womans view point on the term squirting to me its derog, if this helps you make your mind up, for me it arks back to the early 80's when a man out with his mates would say on the way out of a pub "hang on im just going to the loo for quick squirt, meaning i need to go for a piss. was who ever came up with the term a member of the well its just piss anyway team?

    1267621897
    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah I'm not a fan of the term tbh!

    1267641928
    talisman [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    I really feel for you alone4ever but in these cases I often find the problem isn't being 'a nice guy' but low self esteem.

    This came from an article I just read

    Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

    Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

    ***************************

    You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

    ***************************

    The article is here http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

    Please do not take the title seriously, it's really written with the intention to help a dude out. But it would be interesting to see if anything in it hits home for you, even if it makes you squirm.

    Iv been with women like that hence why im single iv got to learn to love myself first befor I will get the right women who not going to use me

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