• HELP

    1447535402
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys
    So i just asked th wife if she fanced going to Blackpool to see Stricly come dancing and to make a weekend of it she is a big fan , i thiught this might reignight the spark and we can reconnect as a couple again as family has taken over abit
    but was abit shocked by her reply witch was she would rarther stsy at home
    I suggested this last year and got the same reply
    to be honest we have been wed 33yrs and am at a loss as to where we are going
    when ever i suggest a night out theres allways an excuse

    1447535948
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    That's a real shame she point blank refused Cap54. And it was a lovely suggestion to make.

    sounds like something my mum would say, to be honest. Do you think she feels if you did go, she'd be the one making all the plans and so she just can't be bothered? Or even if you are the one to make the plans, do you get the same response?

    My only suggestion is to try and get her to talk to you, to find out the reason why she said no...could be she doesn't think it's wise to make an extravagant trip with Christmas around the corner...or she doesn't want to be out in the colder weather...not trying to make excuses for her, but just trying to think why she might be saying she'd rather stay at home.

    What about a different suggestion to go to a dance class together or something?

    1447536161
    pusseypleaser [sign in to see picture]
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    What would be her response if you booked a surprise weekend away?

    1447536249

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    Hi and yes I know only too well this old ticket myself! She's got bedded in! She's got so content with the way things are, and might not feel confortable getting herself into that new frock etc. I know it because it was me! My health condition did it to me though, he couldn't get me out the house. We've been wed 29 yrs, I can so relate to this.

    Talking talking talking and build her confidence up. remind her how gorgeous she still is, how when the light catches her a certain way she still makes your cock twitch! It sets the scene, but it will take work. I'm sure there's nothing more to this than that. She got mega comfy in your safe bubble. But communication is key, you could even turn the table and tell her just what a thrill it would be for you to show off your lady in such fine surroundings. She's your no 1 girl, so maybe some of those early years of making her feel your everything will show her the spark that lies within her!

    You can but try. Would love to know how you get on with this x

    1447536325
    poppycat [sign in to see picture]
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    Could it be the place? we went to blackpool and it wasn't that nice in most parts to be fair. We had fun in the end but it doesn't have a good reputation

    1447536507

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    A nice cosy night somewhere romantic, a crisp cold night but just the two of you, sharing memories. you could even sneak some old pics of you 2 together to remember the nice times before family came along!

    Just another thought! Love strictly haha

    1447536552
    poppycat [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    Hi and yes I know only too well this old ticket myself! She's got bedded in! She's got so content with the way things are, and might not feel confortable getting herself into that new frock etc. I know it because it was me! My health condition did it to me though, he couldn't get me out the house. We've been wed 29 yrs, I can so relate to this.

    Talking talking talking and build her confidence up. remind her how gorgeous she still is, how when the light catches her a certain way she still makes your cock twitch! It sets the scene, but it will take work. I'm sure there's nothing more to this than that. She got mega comfy in your safe bubble. But communication is key, you could even turn the table and tell her just what a thrill it would be for you to show off your lady in such fine surroundings. She's your no 1 girl, so maybe some of those early years of making her feel your everything will show her the spark that lies within her!

    You can but try. Would love to know how you get on with this x

    Ozz, many couples could take note of this.

    1447537057
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Its not the place her sister lives in blackpool we visit a couple of times a year we are only 70 miles away
    if i booked it as a romantic weekend as a suprise she woud may be go but i know there wiuld be an atmaspher and get the feeling ive put her somewhere she dosnt want to be

    1447537205
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    What the hell there comes a time when you know to stop trying

    1447537665
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Cap54 does she know how you feel?

    Does she ever do anything social without you? Lunch with a friend for example?

    I would book somewhere for a weekend or night or two away. A hot tub weekend maybe, they are very relaxing. Then when she comes home from her social event, ask her to get in the car with you to go get a bit of food shopping, or something equally mundane. There is a parcel in your name at the post office, is always a good excuse if she is reluctant. Then with her bag packed in the boot of the car drive to the weekend escape.

    A bottle of prosecco and a dip in the hot tub and I'm sure you will be able to reasurect fun times.

    1447537807
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Fun Louise wrote:

    Hi Cap54 does she know how you feel?

    Does she ever do anything social without you? Lunch with a friend for example?

    I would book somewhere for a weekend or night or two away. A hot tub weekend maybe, they are very relaxing. Then when she comes home from her social event, ask her to get in the car with you to go get a bit of food shopping, or something equally mundane. Then with her bag packed in the book of the car drive to the weekend escape.

    A bottle of prosecco and a dip in the hot tub and I'm sure you will be able to reasurect fun times.

    1447538244
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    We have no soical life to speak of
    anything i suggest is brushed off with no interest on her part what so ever
    so basicly i ask myself why suggest it in the first place
    so its just me and a bottle of bells tonight
    ho hum.....

    1447538527
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry guys its just me feeling sorry for myself at least.i can rely on you guys for a chat.... your the best

    1447538931
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    We have no soical life to speak of
    anything i suggest is brushed off with no interest on her part what so ever
    so basicly i ask myself why suggest it in the first place
    so its just me and a bottle of bells tonight
    ho hum.....

    1447541561
    Char99 [sign in to see picture]
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    That's a shame, I hate strictly but I'd still jump at the chance of a weekend away! Maybe instead, take a look at going to some Christmas markets perhaps? Show her some lovely hotels nearby that you could stay at? She doesn't need to get dressed up for the markets and everyone needs to go shopping, right? Good luck!

    1447542846

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    Cap54 wrote:

    Sorry guys its just me feeling sorry for myself at least.i can rely on you guys for a chat.... your the best

    Oh no!!! May I ask, were you reaching out for advice on how to re ignite things? or were you sounding us out to see if things had gone too far? A painful question I know!

    You do sound so down and that's not a good place to be right now. The bottle won't makes things any clearer! but I can undersatnd the way!

    Please chat some more, we're all here for you x

    1447545350
    TB149 [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't give up, 33 years is a lot to give up on.

    1447580006
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    If she has no interest in going out at all, is there a chance she might be experiencing things you're not aware of? Low mood etc? X

    1447581271
    Lovethekink [sign in to see picture]
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    NatandTom wrote:

    If she has no interest in going out at all, is there a chance she might be experiencing things you're not aware of? Low mood etc? X

    +1, NatandTom could have hit the nail on the head here. I know personally when I'm feeling low or down about something or even if I'm just stuck in a rut then I like to shut myself away from the world. It may just be that she's got used to not doing things and now she's stuck in a rut. Maybe try treating her at home a little more to build up her confidence, some little presents, a candle lit dinner, run her a nice bath with candles etc. Then if things seem to be improving you could give her some money and tell her to go buy a nice outfit for a meal. Book somewhere nice but local, and then build up from there. Baby steps :)
    1447582512
    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    Every couple has their up's and down's but you have made it through 33 years together, that's amazing! The only way to resolve this is to talk to her. Is she under stress? Has anything changed? There could be a million things why she's becoming more distant but you need to talk to her.

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