• Tips to help sensitive new boyfriend - long post!

    1447081111
    Peacethief [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 10 Sep 2015

    Hello! Hoping for a few tips to help my gorgeous new friend. He is super sensitive and reactive when he penetrates me. He can last a little longer with oral and when I use my hands but a few strokes inside me and he's ready to cum, and this is frustrating for him because he wants to go at it with me. I think with a little time and patience he'll last longer but he's a little impatient :-) We think it's a combination of being single for a long time and excitement / anxiety. Additionally, probably due to previous lack penetrative sex, where his foreskin joins his shaft near his frenulum (banjo string!) gets tender. So, right now we are using extra safe condoms with a blob of lube inside to help desensitise him and lubricate the sensitive area. Has anyone got any tips to help him last longer? I was thinking of getting one of those tenga eggs for him to play with to help him acclimatise to new intense sensations, don't know if that is going to work but it could be fun finding out! :-D
    Thanks in advance for your time guys x

    1447081743
    Lovinthetoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 980
    • Joined: 22 Jun 2015

    try some of the delay sprays etc on here maybe, they can make a difference.

    its going to take some time byt the sound of it, so maybe no quick fix.

    Sorry

    Nick

    1447081772
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5891
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Probably the best advice I can give is right before he is about to reach orgasm, cease all activity and rest for a moment or two and then carry on until he's close again and repeat. Stopping and starting will train him to last longer. x

    1447081821
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5938
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    First of all glad to hear that your practising safe sex especially with some one new so 10/10 for that

    As to the over sensitive problem than a male masturbater will help. Rather than let him play with himself why don't you use it on him to add to the fun . If he hasn't had sex for a long time then this would be a good way of desensitising him . Sometimes a cock ring could help as well.

    Perhaps bringing him off a couple of times either with a Hand job or BJ during your foreplay will help before having penatrative sex. But concentrate on the foreplay its great fun and that will at the very least make your session longer.

    1447083520
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4811
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2015

    There are a few things you can try. I would give him a full blow job first, let him get over his initial excitement. Then get him to play with you while he recovers.

    It's always worth trying a cock ring. And edging is a good long term training option. I'm sure you will get there with time and patience. Practice makes perfect!

    1447087414
    pegguin [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 228
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2015

    There are multiple things that can contribute towards it. I had some severe issues with lasting when I fixed my phimosis, delay/numbing sprays masked the problem
    Barely but they really aren't fun. Who wants to feel less during sex? Instead I stopped masturbating with my hand (I find it's far too easy to go incredibly quickly and cum near instantly) and got myself a toy (tenga fliphole silver initially, but I think the spiral would work wonders?) and basically treating masturbating as an edging game, never letting myself cum sooner than 10 mins, even if that meant sitting there doing nothing for a minuet or two. It gave me intense orgasms and really helped learn to control, rather than desensitise, my orgasms. In addition, strengthening up my pelvic floor muscles and learning to use them (I find a ring around the whole package resting back against the top of the taint really helps get used to flexing during fun).

    1447090988
    Omnom95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 95
    • Joined: 25 Sep 2015

    It could be worth trying some of the delay sprays/lubes out there. Having never used them myself I don't know how well they work but I have heard good things. Buying him a masturbation aid could also help. The more he uses it, the longer he can eventually last hopefully. The best way I've found to masturbate is for him to get close to cumming and then stop until he can go again without cumming. Doing this over and over not only feels amazing, especially when he does eventually cum, it can really help him learn to control when he cums. Pretty sure this is called edging. Like I said, when he does eventually cum it will feel amazing and I always find I produce a much larger load of cum when I eventually orgasm.

    Short term, get him to cum at least once before penetration. Even if that means he needs a rest between foreplay and penetration. I've found I always last a lot longer the second or third time after I've cum, even if it was earlier that same day. Also make sure to keep supporting him, the worst thing you can do is make him feel worse about the situation.

    Hope some of that helps you and your partner.

    1447097774
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 218
    • Joined: 7 Aug 2008

    As a youngster I always came quite quickly so I started by giving my other half oral until she came and then to some extent the pressure was off if I came fairly quickly.

    Another issue for me was fairly tight foreskin so just the act of penetration would get me on the edge so I think your idea of a thick condom and lots of lube on the outside is good, perhaps rather than lube on the inside he can try retracting the foreskin himself before putting the condom on so he doesn't get that stimulation on entry.

    Perhaps also getting something like a Tenga Flip so he can regularly simulate sex and then try to edge and control himself and try and learn to relax when he is with you.

    1447172748
    busty1978 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 28 May 2009

    Can always ride him, but get him to cover his head with a pillow and relax and think of something else, if he feels himeself starting to build up then get him to "push" his pelvic floor muscles to release some of the build up..try this as an alternative to the spray in the long run..

    if you fancy some hardcore action then delay spray AND a condom will help...nothing worse than him spraying himself and you getting numb when he enters you.

    1447173488
    Mr & Mrs P [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 256
    • Joined: 2 Oct 2015

    NatandTom wrote:

    Probably the best advice I can give is right before he is about to reach orgasm, cease all activity and rest for a moment or two and then carry on until he's close again and repeat. Stopping and starting will train him to last longer. x

    I would agree with Natand Tom stop for abit and carry on , do this often and builds up to a bigger Orgasam

    1447201353
    sexy chicken [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 41
    • Joined: 11 Aug 2013

    I can massively recommended the Durex Perform a condoms. I was suffering similar problems and they really helped me out

    Check out my review

    Good luck

    1447205458
    Luscious Libby [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 51
    • Joined: 27 Jan 2010

    Check out today's deal of the day, Tracey Cox sleeve from the edge collection :)

    1447235626
    Peacethief [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 10 Sep 2015

    Thank you so much everyone! Lots of ideas here! We can't wait to get started :-) x

    1447236254
    Don_Don [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 436
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    First of all, every guy out there can get a bit over excited and things just happen too fast, it's life and I'll be the first to admit it's happened me once or twice, if there is a quiet time between myself and my wife and I haven't looked after myself then things can get a bit too fast too quick.

    Yes all the delay creams and condoms can really help, when we want to go for a long session I'd give it a spray of http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18912 and it can really lengthen things, but not great if you give oral after the spray or else you might end up with numb mouth.

    As a few other people said, I would tell him to relax, slow it all down and if it happens, it happens, give yourself a little recovery time and try again. Over time it will happen, from your side, don't pressure, dont show frustration and he wont get stressed and frustrated.

    Best of luck

    1447258197
    Peacethief [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 10 Sep 2015

    Thanks Don_Don :-)
    Unfortunately he is an anxious fellow generally so actually it has nothing to do with pressure or frustration from me. Just being with him meets my needs, and he always makes sure I climax anyway. This is about helping him to where he wants to be, not me pushing him to be any different. X

    1447259351
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5938
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    I think this is something that will sort itself out in time. The fact that its a new relationship and he is excited in seeing you without clothes or wearing very little could be triggering him to come quickly. The excitiement of it all .

    Once he gets used to seeing you that way maybe it will sudside a little but for now concentrate on your foreplay techniques to prolong the session a little .

    I would view it as a positive rather than a negative in the fact that you find each other sexually attractive with him finding you very exciting .I dare say you are now a very big new event in his life .

    1447264183
    Don_Don [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 436
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    You've taken me up wrong, I was suggesting you were pushing him to be different.

    1447358844
    Angus Ncle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 32
    • Joined: 5 Sep 2008

    I would never recommend delay creams, even the sort in 'stamina' or similar condoms as these make all sensations numb.
    I would recommend either cock rings which I find slightly delay, or better still China brush.http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=821

    The latter is amazing, but a matter of trial, for the dilution. I usually mix 50% with pre boiled water. Put onto a washed and dried penis ( absorbs best into skin) sparingly. In 45 minutes it starts working. Erections are long lasting and though orgasm is delayed, I can still have a rigid penis to thrust after orgasm.
    Porn stars supposedly used it, and I can see why. For £10 ish definitely worth trying.
    And don't worry if he does not cum, dont stress him, try again an hour later. I still have great fun even if I don't orgasm :-)
    It does not numb sensations, just all round great stuff, but not if too much at full concentration.
    Best wishes

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.