• Good bye BrumGuy

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    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 495
    • Joined: 16 Jun 2011

    The title says it all.

    I had a bit of a thing in my last post didn't I. Some took the asumption that I knew little about mental health. But that post brought back memories of My familys suicides and My experience.

    My Grandad who was tied to a gun carrage wheel in the 1914-18 war, he survived it and came home shell shocked. he had many years of inner misery and mental torment, he drank every day to cope. He worked in a iron foundry and that's where they found him. I'll leave you to imagine the worst.

    My Cousin who had epilepsy and worked as a watchmaker in the jewelry quarter, Several times he would end up at the bus garage because people had left him thinking he was a drunk. He decided that it would be the last time and put a shotgun under his chin. I'll leave you to imagine what we had to clean up.

    In my working life I had to visit St Margerets Hospital in Birmingham It stood in about 3-400 acres of land. I was led into a corridor and had to wait to see the Matron. Soon I was surounded by patients holding my hand and tugging on my jacket, asking if I was taking them out. I was a human magnate. As i walked the coridoor some would leave and some new ones would atatch them selves to me desperate for attention. Every time I see a fish swimming by a sea anemone and the tenticals try to pull the fish in I think of them. The Sister came to find and rescue me and led me to the Matrons Office I started to tell her I'd come about the Visitors Reception area and she said can I stop you there, If I said that about six people a year come to visit that would be pushing it!! She said there were a couple of hundred abandoned souls in there. I was gob smacked. I thanked her for her time and ended our meeting. I was escorted back down the corridor and was again magnatised. even outside I could hear them calling me. On the drive out through the park land I had to stop before I got to the gate house. I pulled in by a lake to get my breath and shed a tear for them because I couldn't help.

    I felt like that the other night. Perhaps I was getting too involved and in my frustration made a bad judgment.

    I hope some of my posts have been of help to some of you. Afterall I've had over 50 years of sexual activity.

    I hope you all can have as many happy years as me.

    Did I tell you about the Hippy I knew in the sixties. lol

    She said "The only constant in life is change" then she went. lol

    Time for a change.

    I think I'll look for some more property and perhaps another motorcycle.

    Loved you all. xx

    Keep it clean. Play safe. But most of all.

    Enjoy. xx

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    memarks [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 9
    • Joined: 29 Aug 2015

    Yes the only thing that is true is that change will happen. Mountains fall into the sea, icebergs melt and we all change. The worst thing to do is not accept it!

    Fighting change keeps you a prisoner of your habits. Goodbye Brum Guy, not chatted much, but your choice no one else's.

    1446595319
    Char99 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 259
    • Joined: 9 Mar 2015

    I have no idea how heated the previous post got, but this ones very sombre. Hope everyone and everything is ok? Mustn't have been easy to write what you did. But if change is what you need, then change is what you shall get. Xx

    1446597235
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2078
    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    I had a quick squizz at your last posts, I don't think that anyone was saying you knew little of mental health, merely of the pills you were talking about. Which, honestly, wasn't the most factual account, as all those people who murdered others probably did so because of their underlying issues NOT because of the drugs they were taking.

    When you compare the number of people who murder while on those drugs to the number who do not murder while on those drugs, and indeed factor in the number of people who murder who are on no drugs at all, the numbers you were quoting were far too insubstantial to amount to solid evidence that those drugs were the cause. It's putting 2 and 2 together to make 5.

    I do agree with you that drugs are not always the answer. Some people do improve with them, depending on what is causing their depression. My own experience was that the drugs only ever made things worse and in fact I would never go near them again. You are very correct in saying that the underlying cause needs to be dealt with (which could well mean medication for a physical imbalance), however to go all conspiracy theory and tell people they should get off their medication because it causes people to turn into murderes based on unsound evidence...well, I hope you can see why that got people's defensive side up. Turning into a rampaging murderer is definitely not a good reason to avoid or stop taking medication. There are plenty of good reasons to do so and your basic point is valid. But the whole thing with drawing a link between drugs and murder is simply untrue. The drugs can be very harmful, but not because of that. I think that is what people had a problem with. Not you and not your experience (or lack there of) of dealing with people with mental health issues. Just saying that someone's medication, which they felt was helping them, could actualy turn them into a mass murderer.

    It's a pity you feel the need to leave, but I can understand feeling unwelcome after an online spat like that. I don't think anyone here is holding a grudge against you though. These things happen online and you apologised, so as far as I'm concerned you're all good. As you said, it just came out wrong. It's clear to read over it that you were not being malicious. I for one would be happy to see you hang around, or indeed come back at a later date.

    I don't quite know what to say with regards to the content in this post, other than that I am so very sorry you've seen so much sorrow in your life. It's heart breaking to read.

    I hope your desire for change is a positive one and not born from a sense that you are no longer welcome here. Because you are as welcome as anyone else. We've all messed up and had someone take what we say the wrong way, we've all had our moments of frustration where maybe we should have logged off rather than continued typing. You set it straight, you're very much still welcome!

    1446600229

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2836
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2015

    I don't think you should be leaving us here at all! The thread got messed up, tension was high with such a personal subject. Things could have come across differently for sure. You've been a positive influence on many threads, so don't take what went wrong to heart.

    I'm sad and sorry to read your story, we all have them somewhere. Don't leave us, I'm sure I speak for many that you've cheered a lot of people up by comments and advice you've given out here on LH. You're well liked and it would be a quieter place without you in it! So please think about changing your mind x

    1446621608
    Badger73 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1065
    • Joined: 10 Oct 2012

    Not much to say bit stay strong and get another bike. The world always seems a better place when out on a bike. Mrs Badger insists that i have a bike or i get all moody.

    Always welcome here.

    1446624691
    D.j [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1260
    • Joined: 1 Apr 2015

    My old mate us brumys must stick together I`m not posting as much as I upset someone without knowing I had done it I have said sorry and its now ok but took me back abit and also almost a year since my loss just pop in and post if you feel like it

    all the best David

    1446624790
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5735
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Always welcome back if you change your mind. Haven't chatted much but I wish you all the best, Stay safe and treat yourself to that new bike! Sounds like you could do with a treat :) *hugs*

    1446629538
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1016
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2013

    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    I had a quick squizz at your last posts, I don't think that anyone was saying you knew little of mental health, merely of the pills you were talking about. Which, honestly, wasn't the most factual account, as all those people who murdered others probably did so because of their underlying issues NOT because of the drugs they were taking.

    When you compare the number of people who murder while on those drugs to the number who do not murder while on those drugs, and indeed factor in the number of people who murder who are on no drugs at all, the numbers you were quoting were far too insubstantial to amount to solid evidence that those drugs were the cause. It's putting 2 and 2 together to make 5.

    I do agree with you that drugs are not always the answer. Some people do improve with them, depending on what is causing their depression. My own experience was that the drugs only ever made things worse and in fact I would never go near them again. You are very correct in saying that the underlying cause needs to be dealt with (which could well mean medication for a physical imbalance), however to go all conspiracy theory and tell people they should get off their medication because it causes people to turn into murderes based on unsound evidence...well, I hope you can see why that got people's defensive side up. Turning into a rampaging murderer is definitely not a good reason to avoid or stop taking medication. There are plenty of good reasons to do so and your basic point is valid. But the whole thing with drawing a link between drugs and murder is simply untrue. The drugs can be very harmful, but not because of that. I think that is what people had a problem with. Not you and not your experience (or lack there of) of dealing with people with mental health issues. Just saying that someone's medication, which they felt was helping them, could actualy turn them into a mass murderer.

    It's a pity you feel the need to leave, but I can understand feeling unwelcome after an online spat like that. I don't think anyone here is holding a grudge against you though. These things happen online and you apologised, so as far as I'm concerned you're all good. As you said, it just came out wrong. It's clear to read over it that you were not being malicious. I for one would be happy to see you hang around, or indeed come back at a later date.

    I don't quite know what to say with regards to the content in this post, other than that I am so very sorry you've seen so much sorrow in your life. It's heart breaking to read.

    I hope your desire for change is a positive one and not born from a sense that you are no longer welcome here. Because you are as welcome as anyone else. We've all messed up and had someone take what we say the wrong way, we've all had our moments of frustration where maybe we should have logged off rather than continued typing. You set it straight, you're very much still welcome!

    This is exactly the point I was trying to get across the other night, only maybe I let my own defensiveness take over.

    I certainly don't want to cause another person to feel like they need to leave the forum...but then if that's what you feel you need to do, I respect that.

    It was fun chatting to you, and getting your perspective on things.

    Sometimes things on here get a bit close to home, and it is not easy. But life is not all easy. It's better when you overcome all the crap though and make it out on the other side, feeling stronger.

    Your own encounters with mental health have shown you how devastating the wrong treatment or no treatment can be. We are complex beings. One drug or therapy does not fit all...

    But compassion from others makes a huge difference. Accepting that we're all going to have our off days, makes it easier to deal with.

    If you decide to stay around on here, I'll gladly say Hi, but if not, enjoy riding your bike 😉😀

    1446631412
    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 25 Aug 2015

    It's awful what you've been through, I'm sorry and I'm aware you're probably already gone from here now. I have no idea about this spat but it's such a shame you feel you have to leave. Goodbye Brum Guy keep up the naughty behaviour and dirty talk and the women will fall at your feet. Enjoy life and your new bike xx

    1446631607
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1016
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2013

    Kirsty92 wrote:

    It's awful what you've been through, I'm sorry and I'm aware you're probably already gone from here now. I have no idea about this spat but it's such a shame you feel you have to leave. Goodbye Brum Guy keep up the naughty behaviour and dirty talk and the women will fall at your feet. Enjoy life and your new bike xx

    See the Pegging thread Kirsty...

    1446632212
    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 25 Aug 2015

    Ok had a quick look and I'm sure BrumGuy meant well but it didn't quite come out how it was hoped. Either way he shouldn't feel the need to leave.

    Ozz and Luv Bunny you're so strong keep it up xx

    1446632213
    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    Ok had a quick look and I'm sure BrumGuy meant well but it didn't quite come out how it was hoped. Either way he shouldn't feel the need to leave.

    Ozz and Luv Bunny you're so strong keep it up xx

    1446635958
    LeilaK [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1111
    • Joined: 4 Mar 2015

    Sorry you feel you have to leave over this Brumguy, that is a shame. I'm sure you will always be welcome.

    It is a sensitive subject to discuss, things got a bit heated from what I read. That is no reason to leave. Have a think about it, I'm sure you'll come back :)

    Enjoy your new bike!

    1446652134
    Lovinthetoys [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 22 Jun 2015

    All the best in whatever travels you find fella, always welcome back anytime.

    1447026427
    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
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    We all make mistakes.

    I do hope you come back soon :)

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    Miss you mate.

    However never say never .

    1447064667
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    delilahxx wrote:

    We all make mistakes.

    I do hope you come back soon :)

    +1 :) xx

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