• Sex drive is gone

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    The_Cuboner [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a student whose just started their third year of university and I'm dismayed to find my sex drive has vanished. I've lost it before when I just started on the pill and though it came back, it was never as strong as it was when I was off the pill (I've spoken about alternatives and unfortunately I can't take any other kind really) But lately I've been so busy with everything that the rare times I do get to see my boyfriend alone, I'm always far too tired or ill to actually want sex. I can tell he's getting frustrated and I am too (it's been about a month which is crazy for us!) I've stopped masturbating or doing anything. I guess the answer is to make time for sex but unfortunately I can't really do that at the moment due to uni work, job work, volunteering and planning for the future. Any tips on how to prevent tiredness getting in the way?

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    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    You sound extremely busy so no wonder your tired. I think however you may need to force yourself to have some time off.

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    jimbogemini [sign in to see picture]
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    Give yourself a break. You obviously have a lot going on physically and mentally. Your body needs time to catch up. Spend time together just relaxing and communicating. Share a bath together. A relaxing shower with no sex pressure. There's no magic switch. Give it time and before you know it all that will be in the past.

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with the others - you really do need to try to get some time for yourself - even if it's just a half hour here and there for maybe a relaxing bath, taking a walk together etc. with no pressure xx

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    [suspended user]

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    Scorpius12 wrote:

    I agree with the others - you really do need to try to get some time for yourself - even if it's just a half hour here and there for maybe a relaxing bath, taking a walk together etc. with no pressure xx

    +1 I've has issues with hormonal medication putting me off sex in the past along with other pressures and can only second what everyone else is saying.... take time for yourself and try to do other things together to maintain/rekindle the intimacy. I found the closer I felt to OH the more I wanted to have sex with him. Xx
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    poppycat [sign in to see picture]
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    We went through a long phase like that but I've found the more I get, the more I want. And I know this is probably crappie advice but occasionally even if I don't feel like it because once we start I'm totally into it (bit like going to the gym, the thought is pants but once I'm there its fun lol)
    Either way I hope you feel more like you soon

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves, you HAVE to make time for yourself, to relax. Otherwise you will make yourself sick as you'll be so stressed! I do think when we think "We need to be having more sex", we automatically think we need to be having a 4 hour marathon everynight, when what we really need more is closeness and intimacy. Enjoy being with your partner, have dinner together, shower then massage eachother, kiss, cuddle, and don't put stress on yourself to actually do sex. The more you WANT HIM, the more you will want sex. x

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I never understood how much the pill affected my sex drive negatiely until I was no longer on it. I use and IUD and it is a life saver, but I have also already given birth.

    Stress is a major factor here... some good advice on here just try to find some time and relax and take it from there.

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    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
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    Just reading from what you've said, can I suggest putting aside anything that is not critical, so have a month off volunteering/planning for the future, it's not going to harm, sounds like your hectic life is effecting your health so possibly slow down where you can.

    Tell your friends you're going to "have some time off" to give you more space, turn off your mobile phone! and suspend your facebook account?

    Just a thought?

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