• Pegging

    1446386351

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    It just died. No ones fault it just happened. Other factors developed, he let himself go in the body dept, I was the exact opposite. I gave up on him trying to better himself a long time ago, I tried and tried to get him involved, nope! He's always been a good provider over the years with me having fibro etc but the spark I think left when he had his indiscretion when my son was just 9 wks old.

    He was a serving soldier back then and his first tour was to Belize. We were mad for each other, insanly in love. But 6 mths later on his return he brought back emptiness to our door, it was gone. He never touched me for months and months and I knew what had happened out there. I made a decision to stick together and that one day it may come back, it really didn't!

    I call us now a pair of comfy slippers and we fuck. We laugh, go shopping share a love of many sports, catch a movie, but there's no romance. Frankly it would cost too much to walk away and for us both to start over. that day still might come, but I do feel safe here in this house and with him, after the life I've had previous to him, safe is a golden word for me. Feeling love is secondary as I didn't have that for my first 16 yrs of life, so I'm used to that!

    Fuck that's a lot of boring shit! I hope it didn't send you to sleep huni lol

    Yes I love being the sub!! :)

    1446387719
    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz that was sad to read. But you sound like a strong woman and this will be his loss.

    Stay stong, you will get what you want.

    xx

    1446389012
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    It just died. No ones fault it just happened. Other factors developed, he let himself go in the body dept, I was the exact opposite. I gave up on him trying to better himself a long time ago, I tried and tried to get him involved, nope! He's always been a good provider over the years with me having fibro etc but the spark I think left when he had his indiscretion when my son was just 9 wks old.

    He was a serving soldier back then and his first tour was to Belize. We were mad for each other, insanly in love. But 6 mths later on his return he brought back emptiness to our door, it was gone. He never touched me for months and months and I knew what had happened out there. I made a decision to stick together and that one day it may come back, it really didn't!

    I call us now a pair of comfy slippers and we fuck. We laugh, go shopping share a love of many sports, catch a movie, but there's no romance. Frankly it would cost too much to walk away and for us both to start over. that day still might come, but I do feel safe here in this house and with him, after the life I've had previous to him, safe is a golden word for me. Feeling love is secondary as I didn't have that for my first 16 yrs of life, so I'm used to that!

    Fuck that's a lot of boring shit! I hope it didn't send you to sleep huni lol

    Yes I love being the sub!! :)

    Fuck, that would have been a real kick in the guts, huni...to do that while you were vulnerable at home alone with your little boy would've been devastating.

    So sorry to bring it all back, I'm amazed my mum didn't divorce my dad for making us emigrate to Aus and back 4 times...but then it was like your situation...he is the provider, and they have two children together, so she would never leave him.

    I got so angry with my dad though, the last time we moved there when I was 17. He was moping around one day, and I stormed out the house and told him to make an effort, that he hadn't even really tried to settle there, and how he'd been the one to make us all move and I'd not wanted to as I was desperate to do my A-Levels here.

    Then we came back here, and I went so depressed. It affected me later too. I think my big breakdown in 2008 was largely due to the fact that my OH and I had a holiday of the lifetime to Aus planned...he'd never been, and I feel so guilty now, because I couldn't go as was too ill, and he wouldn't go without me. Still, since then, we've had a fantastic honeymoon and two trips to USA.

    my mum said that next year, her and dad are thinking of going to Aus...it's their 40th anniversary next year. I said, are you CRAZY? Why do you want to go to Aus again, as great as it is????

    phew!

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    Luv bunny wrote:

    Ozz wrote:

    It just died. No ones fault it just happened. Other factors developed, he let himself go in the body dept, I was the exact opposite. I gave up on him trying to better himself a long time ago, I tried and tried to get him involved, nope! He's always been a good provider over the years with me having fibro etc but the spark I think left when he had his indiscretion when my son was just 9 wks old.

    He was a serving soldier back then and his first tour was to Belize. We were mad for each other, insanly in love. But 6 mths later on his return he brought back emptiness to our door, it was gone. He never touched me for months and months and I knew what had happened out there. I made a decision to stick together and that one day it may come back, it really didn't!

    I call us now a pair of comfy slippers and we fuck. We laugh, go shopping share a love of many sports, catch a movie, but there's no romance. Frankly it would cost too much to walk away and for us both to start over. that day still might come, but I do feel safe here in this house and with him, after the life I've had previous to him, safe is a golden word for me. Feeling love is secondary as I didn't have that for my first 16 yrs of life, so I'm used to that!

    Fuck that's a lot of boring shit! I hope it didn't send you to sleep huni lol

    Yes I love being the sub!! :)

    Fuck, that would have been a real kick in the guts, huni...to do that while you were vulnerable at home alone with your little boy would've been devastating.

    So sorry to bring it all back, I'm amazed my mum didn't divorce my dad for making us emigrate to Aus and back 4 times...but then it was like your situation...he is the provider, and they have two children together, so she would never leave him.

    I got so angry with my dad though, the last time we moved there when I was 17. He was moping around one day, and I stormed out the house and told him to make an effort, that he hadn't even really tried to settle there, and how he'd been the one to make us all move and I'd not wanted to as I was desperate to do my A-Levels here.

    Then we came back here, and I went so depressed. It affected me later too. I think my big breakdown in 2008 was largely due to the fact that my OH and I had a holiday of the lifetime to Aus planned...he'd never been, and I feel so guilty now, because I couldn't go as was too ill, and he wouldn't go without me. Still, since then, we've had a fantastic honeymoon and two trips to USA.

    my mum said that next year, her and dad are thinking of going to Aus...it's their 40th anniversary next year. I said, are you CRAZY? Why do you want to go to Aus again, as great as it is????

    phew!

    I'm always blown away by others life stories. I'm so sorry you ended up having a breakdown sweethear, that's huge! Your Oh and you sound like the real deal, I'm so very happy for you kitten.The schooling must have been difficult, I get that. We came to Scotland and bedded down there for a couple of yrs, then back to Ozz. I wish my mum had of left that sick fuck, my life would have been so different and I'm sure I wouldn't have all this baggage I lug around!

    My sister and I were his punch bag, my brother never touched! Yeah that screws up the brain right there. It wasn't easy and I have a small issue smelling scotch, it's "rage" that's how I descibed him. But he's dead so that's awesome news!

    My life is what it is, being here, sharing and stuff is very healthy for me. I did go back in 2001 but I didn't like it. But it will always be called my home, strange I know. Thanks for listening xx

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    BrumGuy wrote:

    Ozz that was sad to read. But you sound like a strong woman and this will be his loss.

    Stay stong, you will get what you want.

    xx

    I'm okay, really. I just carry stuff around! I'm alive and alive is good xx Tried to end that twice in the past 4 mths because of meds. There we are, more sharing. This site is good for that lol xx

    1446391995
    Hopelessly Horny [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    It just died. No ones fault it just happened. Other factors developed, he let himself go in the body dept, I was the exact opposite. I gave up on him trying to better himself a long time ago, I tried and tried to get him involved, nope! He's always been a good provider over the years with me having fibro etc but the spark I think left when he had his indiscretion when my son was just 9 wks old.

    He was a serving soldier back then and his first tour was to Belize. We were mad for each other, insanly in love. But 6 mths later on his return he brought back emptiness to our door, it was gone. He never touched me for months and months and I knew what had happened out there. I made a decision to stick together and that one day it may come back, it really didn't!

    I call us now a pair of comfy slippers and we fuck. We laugh, go shopping share a love of many sports, catch a movie, but there's no romance. Frankly it would cost too much to walk away and for us both to start over. that day still might come, but I do feel safe here in this house and with him, after the life I've had previous to him, safe is a golden word for me. Feeling love is secondary as I didn't have that for my first 16 yrs of life, so I'm used to that!

    Fuck that's a lot of boring shit! I hope it didn't send you to sleep huni lol

    Yes I love being the sub!! :)

    Wow Ozz that's so sad to hear, but you're very strong and such a lovely lady. I really hope you get what you want hun x
    1446392099
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    BrumGuy wrote:

    Ozz that was sad to read. But you sound like a strong woman and this will be his loss.

    Stay stong, you will get what you want.

    xx

    I'm okay, really. I just carry stuff around! I'm alive and alive is good xx Tried to end that twice in the past 4 mths because of meds. There we are, more sharing. This site is good for that lol xx

    Fuck, again! Please don't go there huni, I did some stupid shit when I was depressed, but I feel really guilty about putting my family and OH and his family through all that crap. It doesn't get easier, when they ask how you are, and you feel like they're waiting for you to go spiralling down again...gotta live with that forever. But I will be strong for my little one and my OH cos they are everything. Love my family too of course!

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    What a strong lady you are! Depression is a nightmare that's a given. It was a side effect from a potent drug that I'm still on right now unfortunately. So each day I fight the urge. It was like an out of body experience and this is the first time I've spoken of it since going to mental health to talk about it and that fuck hit on me and then sexually assaulted me, I hate him for that!!!

    When I stepped out twice in front of a car "seperately" I just had to do it. The drugs were screwing up my brain! lol But I've not done it since and I must be stronger for it for winning my fight each day right? To speak of it with you when I haven't even met you probably makes this easier, and I'm not in floods sharing it.

    I could write a book about the crap I've dealt with in my short 52 yrs so far, but for now I move forward and be the best mum and friend I can be. I am everything opposite to my entire family and that's pretty good :) xx

    Hopelessly Horny, thanks cherub xx

    1446393340
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    What a strong lady you are! Depression is a nightmare that's a given. It was a side effect from a potent drug that I'm still on right now unfortunately. So each day I fight the urge. It was like an out of body experience and this is the first time I've spoken of it since going to mental health to talk about it and that fuck hit on me and then sexually assaulted me, I hate him for that!!!

    When I stepped out twice in front of a car "seperately" I just had to do it. The drugs were screwing up my brain! lol But I've not done it since and I must be stronger for it for winning my fight each day right? To speak of it with you when I haven't even met you probably makes this easier, and I'm not in floods sharing it.

    I could write a book about the crap I've dealt with in my short 52 yrs so far, but for now I move forward and be the best mum and friend I can be. I am everything opposite to my entire family and that's pretty good :) xx

    Hopelessly Horny, thanks cherub xx

    Definitely stronger to beat that shit every day! Well, I had counselling after I had a relapse a few years back, and when I started talking about the emigration I just broke down.

    But it did help to talk about it, definitely. I also had CBT way back after my breakdown, and it made me stronger to realise what my thinking patterns do to me...it's challenging to fight these inner mantras we've lived with all our lives, but you need to keep doing it, as there could always be something there to pull you back...I never want to fall into that hell hole again. I'd like to ditch the meds permanently but think it wouldn't be a good idea with my history...

    So now I try not to stress too much. Anxiety is a bitch. It really knocked me for six when I got depressed, it was paralysing. Life's too fucking short to get so het up by things now...

    1446393688

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    Luv bunny wrote:

    Ozz wrote:

    What a strong lady you are! Depression is a nightmare that's a given. It was a side effect from a potent drug that I'm still on right now unfortunately. So each day I fight the urge. It was like an out of body experience and this is the first time I've spoken of it since going to mental health to talk about it and that fuck hit on me and then sexually assaulted me, I hate him for that!!!

    When I stepped out twice in front of a car "seperately" I just had to do it. The drugs were screwing up my brain! lol But I've not done it since and I must be stronger for it for winning my fight each day right? To speak of it with you when I haven't even met you probably makes this easier, and I'm not in floods sharing it.

    I could write a book about the crap I've dealt with in my short 52 yrs so far, but for now I move forward and be the best mum and friend I can be. I am everything opposite to my entire family and that's pretty good :) xx

    Hopelessly Horny, thanks cherub xx

    Definitely stronger to beat that shit every day! Well, I had counselling after I had a relapse a few years back, and when I started talking about the emigration I just broke down.

    But it did help to talk about it, definitely. I also had CBT way back after my breakdown, and it made me stronger to realise what my thinking patterns do to me...it's challenging to fight these inner mantras we've lived with all our lives, but you need to keep doing it, as there could always be something there to pull you back...I never want to fall into that hell hole again. I'd like to ditch the meds permanently but think it wouldn't be a good idea with my history...

    So now I try not to stress too much. Anxiety is a bitch. It really knocked me for six when I got depressed, it was paralysing. Life's too fucking short to get so het up by things now...

    I hear that!! My meds are for something that went pop in a nerve in my upper gum, that was a year and a half ago and they're still trying to figure it out. But because of the fibro, well I ran out of worthwhile drugs to kill the pain some. So hopefully they'll nail it and I can get off them! I dump all my fibro meds and nail that sucker to end up on something that makes me want to kill myself! figures!!

    I call myself a warrior! I'm calling you one too my huni xx

    1446394476
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    Luv bunny wrote:

    Ozz wrote:

    What a strong lady you are! Depression is a nightmare that's a given. It was a side effect from a potent drug that I'm still on right now unfortunately. So each day I fight the urge. It was like an out of body experience and this is the first time I've spoken of it since going to mental health to talk about it and that fuck hit on me and then sexually assaulted me, I hate him for that!!!

    When I stepped out twice in front of a car "seperately" I just had to do it. The drugs were screwing up my brain! lol But I've not done it since and I must be stronger for it for winning my fight each day right? To speak of it with you when I haven't even met you probably makes this easier, and I'm not in floods sharing it.

    I could write a book about the crap I've dealt with in my short 52 yrs so far, but for now I move forward and be the best mum and friend I can be. I am everything opposite to my entire family and that's pretty good :) xx

    Hopelessly Horny, thanks cherub xx

    Definitely stronger to beat that shit every day! Well, I had counselling after I had a relapse a few years back, and when I started talking about the emigration I just broke down.

    But it did help to talk about it, definitely. I also had CBT way back after my breakdown, and it made me stronger to realise what my thinking patterns do to me...it's challenging to fight these inner mantras we've lived with all our lives, but you need to keep doing it, as there could always be something there to pull you back...I never want to fall into that hell hole again. I'd like to ditch the meds permanently but think it wouldn't be a good idea with my history...

    So now I try not to stress too much. Anxiety is a bitch. It really knocked me for six when I got depressed, it was paralysing. Life's too fucking short to get so het up by things now...

    I hear that!! My meds are for something that went pop in a nerve in my upper gum, that was a year and a half ago and they're still trying to figure it out. But because of the fibro, well I ran out of worthwhile drugs to kill the pain some. So hopefully they'll nail it and I can get off them! I dump all my fibro meds and nail that sucker to end up on something that makes me want to kill myself! figures!!

    I call myself a warrior! I'm calling you one too my huni xx

    Thanks Hun...I have a friend with Fibromyalgia and it sounds like hell. Having undescribable pain every day would be horrendous. Labour pain for a few hours was bad enough!

    1446398136

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    Luv bunny wrote:

    Ozz wrote:

    Luv bunny wrote:

    Ozz wrote:

    What a strong lady you are! Depression is a nightmare that's a given. It was a side effect from a potent drug that I'm still on right now unfortunately. So each day I fight the urge. It was like an out of body experience and this is the first time I've spoken of it since going to mental health to talk about it and that fuck hit on me and then sexually assaulted me, I hate him for that!!!

    When I stepped out twice in front of a car "seperately" I just had to do it. The drugs were screwing up my brain! lol But I've not done it since and I must be stronger for it for winning my fight each day right? To speak of it with you when I haven't even met you probably makes this easier, and I'm not in floods sharing it.

    I could write a book about the crap I've dealt with in my short 52 yrs so far, but for now I move forward and be the best mum and friend I can be. I am everything opposite to my entire family and that's pretty good :) xx

    Hopelessly Horny, thanks cherub xx

    Definitely stronger to beat that shit every day! Well, I had counselling after I had a relapse a few years back, and when I started talking about the emigration I just broke down.

    But it did help to talk about it, definitely. I also had CBT way back after my breakdown, and it made me stronger to realise what my thinking patterns do to me...it's challenging to fight these inner mantras we've lived with all our lives, but you need to keep doing it, as there could always be something there to pull you back...I never want to fall into that hell hole again. I'd like to ditch the meds permanently but think it wouldn't be a good idea with my history...

    So now I try not to stress too much. Anxiety is a bitch. It really knocked me for six when I got depressed, it was paralysing. Life's too fucking short to get so het up by things now...

    I hear that!! My meds are for something that went pop in a nerve in my upper gum, that was a year and a half ago and they're still trying to figure it out. But because of the fibro, well I ran out of worthwhile drugs to kill the pain some. So hopefully they'll nail it and I can get off them! I dump all my fibro meds and nail that sucker to end up on something that makes me want to kill myself! figures!!

    I call myself a warrior! I'm calling you one too my huni xx

    Thanks Hun...I have a friend with Fibromyalgia and it sounds like hell. Having undescribable pain every day would be horrendous. Labour pain for a few hours was bad enough!

    I'm controlling it now with my fizz which is awesome. But I have to agree huni..labour pains are fucking terrible!! x lol

    1446413954

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    I have read this series of posts a few times now and I feel like I should say something but don't know what to say! Ozz & Luv Bunny you have both had painful pasts, and still are dealing with a lot. Anything I say will probably sound patronising and maybe insincere, so I won't try. But I do want to say that you both come across as strong and determined women, and I just hope you continue to remain positive and find happiness where needed. There are always people here or elsewhere to speak to. Take care.

    1446414185
    cardiff_couple [sign in to see picture]
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    i just had to goggle what pegging actually was lol

    1446414392
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Hot Dog wrote:

    I have read this series of posts a few times now and I feel like I should say something but don't know what to say! Ozz & Luv Bunny you have both had painful pasts, and still are dealing with a lot. Anything I say will probably sound patronising and maybe insincere, so I won't try. But I do want to say that you both come across as strong and determined women, and I just hope you continue to remain positive and find happiness where needed. There are always people here or elsewhere to speak to. Take care.

    Thanks Hot Dog, well I ain't about to roll over and die anytime soon...though I might roll over for something else, lol!

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    Luv bunny wrote:

    Hot Dog wrote:

    I have read this series of posts a few times now and I feel like I should say something but don't know what to say! Ozz & Luv Bunny you have both had painful pasts, and still are dealing with a lot. Anything I say will probably sound patronising and maybe insincere, so I won't try. But I do want to say that you both come across as strong and determined women, and I just hope you continue to remain positive and find happiness where needed. There are always people here or elsewhere to speak to. Take care.

    Thanks Hot Dog, well I ain't about to roll over and die anytime soon...though I might roll over for something else, lol!

    Awe, you're so very lovely. Gutsy sheilas lol..Well now that I've found you lot I guess I had better hang around some hey! Thanks babe x

    1446419317
    memarks [sign in to see picture]
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    To all of you, on here who have suffered from depression, I do know how you feel. I went through 3 years plus of it and once had the knife to my wrist. But throwing away the medication was the best thing I did. Seroxat nearly sent me over the edge.

    Thank you all for being so open and honest on here, its lovely to meet people like you👏

    1446474453

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    memarks wrote:

    To all of you, on here who have suffered from depression, I do know how you feel. I went through 3 years plus of it and once had the knife to my wrist. But throwing away the medication was the best thing I did. Seroxat nearly sent me over the edge.

    Thank you all for being so open and honest on here, its lovely to meet people like you👏

    I'm so very sorry you dealt with depression, 3 yrs is quite a while too! So glad you're still here though, it would be a sadder place without you in it! x

    1446491876
    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    Just a thought.

    Is it worth putting your Medication on here?

    Incase someone was taking them, but have been given a better alternative.

    1446492263
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Well I'm on Fluoxetine...Prozac as its more renowned...but a low dose. It seems to work for me...and I was able to stay on it while pregnant. Obviously PND is a consideration for me, though I've felt fine so far...

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