• I know it's all I seem to talk about and there's tonnes of threads but...

    1446194828
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes, and you are allowing them to walk all over you, Hun.

    sorry if it seems like we're 'bullying' you, but I have had to work with people who don't get their hands dirty but then take the credit for the work you do. And micro managing supervisor who classed everything as 'Urgent' but then would just sit at her computer typing emails whilst expecting us to run around doing all the work!

    those jobs don't do you any good in the long run.

    1446195338
    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Aw Bunny that sucks. It's horrible being bullied, I think it's as bad as school. My old boss tried to fire me on grounds of gross misconduct, I stood my ground, and she made it hell for me. Didn't have a case for constructive dismissal as haven't been there long enough, and i ended up losing my job anyway through redundant a couple of months ago. Best thing that ever happened to me to be honest.

    I'm really trying to be patient Kirsty but it's so frustrating when you're desperately trying to help someone and I know you're getting help, but we all want what's best for you and to help you but none of that can happen if it doesn't start with you Hun. We aren't bullying you or being horrible with you, we just can't offer any more advice than all of us on here already have if you keep making excuses for things being "ok" when they aren't, and not doing anything about it. You're allowing yourself to suffer and we can't help you get into a better place if you don't try harder x

    1446195852
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes, the workplace can be as bad or worse than school. Didn't get bullied in school, but in workplace I have let others take advantage of my niceness and naivety. No more though...

    I agree, redundancy is sometimes a blessing in disguise. Happened with the job where the guy who supervised me took the credit, and I was happy about it in the end. Wasn't singled out either, the whole ship sank so to speak.

    Kirsty, hun people here are trying to help you. Please do something to help yourself. I've said it before but I'm saying it again. You need more self-respect, otherwise how do you expect to be respected by others?

    1446197546
    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    I understand but things aren't that easy I can't just get self love and self respect over night I can't just get a new job not when I'm stuck there. I have had it before where I've had an interview not told anyone and 5 minutes before due home they've kept me for the rest of the day. I never know my hours til last minute and even then they can change I've had people try to sort out interviews and they're like well that's no good if you can't sort out a set time and date because your work will change it.

    Besides its not that bad anymore still the odd thing but not much.

    1446198128
    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Kirsty, I rest my case. I'm sorry but I'm signing out from this thread. You've got to to keep trying and keep trying and not just simply give up at the first hurdle, it's your well being and HEALTH that should take priority over anything, and I don't think it is. Sorry to sound so blunt but We are going round in circles with you.

    Hope you get yourself sorted soon and get the help you need; everything then will fall into place.

    1446198418
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Kirsty, I rest my case. I'm sorry but I'm signing out from this thread. You've got to to keep trying and keep trying and not just simply give up at the first hurdle, it's your well being and HEALTH that should take priority over anything, and I don't think it is. Sorry to sound so blunt but We are going round in circles with you.

    Hope you get yourself sorted soon and get the help you need; everything then will fall into place.

    Sorry but I refuse to give up, because I have already been on this thread a while. Also I'm a bit of a terrier, and I don't like to back down!

    Saying 'oh it's not that bad' is perpetuating the doormat side of you... Please realise that Hun.

    and if you have booked holiday, refuse to go in if they call you! It's your holiday after all!

    1446199199
    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Bunny, I'm just really scared of coming across as a bully or too blunt for Kirsty, and don't want to cause any upset for her if she took anything j said personally or too hard. I've been following this thread too since it started but have stepped back a little for this reason.

    1446199226
    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    :)

    1446199605
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Bunny, I'm just really scared of coming across as a bully or too blunt for Kirsty, and don't want to cause any upset for her if she took anything j said personally or too hard. I've been following this thread too since it started but have stepped back a little for this reason.

    That's understandable, and I hope I've not been too blunt or harsh either, but when the softly softly approach doesn't work, you have to get firm...

    1446200173
    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    No mot at all. I just want Kirsty to get herself back on her feet and sorted, as we all do obviously! I'll keep watching and keeping up to date with everything

    1446200993
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes you have to be that way to get your point across. None of us like doing it but sometimes being cruel to be kind is the way forward.

    I will also monitoring on her progress as she has endurded a lot of hurt and bad luck but despite all of this Kirsty has to start putting herself first . It will also help in her couselling sessioins if she did this as it would give her some self esteam and confidence.

    I am not sure if it would be a good idea if Kirsty gave us a list of things she is not happy about with herself and perhaps we could turn some of these negatives into positives .

    As regards her job situation then either the Union ( if not a member then join one) or ACAS should give advice. Personally I wouldn't let a bully chase me out of a job as then the bully wins but I used to be a former union rep so my view may be a little different here .

    1446208579
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    I think Kirsty has a certain air of helplessness about her, not uncommon with depression. I know from experience, when I had depression I would dismiss anything positive that was said to me...which is why I'm keen to try to get through to Kirsty that things CAN change, and they will...it will just require a lot of effort, and time.

    When I was in a particularly dark place, I remember thinking when I saw the Dr, 'Oh right, so you really think things are going to get better do you? Hmm, fat chance!' But he proved me wrong, when a few months later I could actually walk into his office with my head held high and a smile on my face!

    1446208874
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Luv bunny wrote:

    I think Kirsty has a certain air of helplessness about her, not uncommon with depression. I know from experience, when I had depression I would dismiss anything positive that was said to me...which is why I'm keen to try to get through to Kirsty that things CAN change, and they will...it will just require a lot of effort, and time.

    When I was in a particularly dark place, I remember thinking when I saw the Dr, 'Oh right, so you really think things are going to get better do you? Hmm, fat chance!' But he proved me wrong, when a few months later I could actually walk into his office with my head held high and a smile on my face!

    So I take it from your post that we are now going to have to wait until Kirsty has started her counselling sessions and in the mean time just support her as best as we can ?

    1446209131
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Luv bunny wrote:

    I think Kirsty has a certain air of helplessness about her, not uncommon with depression. I know from experience, when I had depression I would dismiss anything positive that was said to me...which is why I'm keen to try to get through to Kirsty that things CAN change, and they will...it will just require a lot of effort, and time.

    When I was in a particularly dark place, I remember thinking when I saw the Dr, 'Oh right, so you really think things are going to get better do you? Hmm, fat chance!' But he proved me wrong, when a few months later I could actually walk into his office with my head held high and a smile on my face!

    So I take it from your post that we are now going to have to wait until Kirsty has started her counselling sessions and in the mean time just support her as best as we can ?

    Perhaps...it's really down to Kirsty...and I feel bad talking about her when she's not on here to speak for herself. Was just trying to relay my experience. Things definitely don't change overnight. But they will as long as some effort is put in.

    1446209439
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't worry too much about that . Kirsty knows that we have her best interests at heart and she knows that all of us on here are real friends .

    It will be nice to see when she finally comes out of the tunnel so to speak and to be a confident young lady .

    1446210565
    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi I'm back I understand what everyone's saying and I don't think anyone is being harsh or anything I just wish things were as easy as people say a mate of mine has been like oh just say no with work but I DO say no and it gets me nowhere. They've only just given me my holidays and I'm taking them over Xmas but before they sorted that I had 2 days off holiday in 18 months.

    In the middle of all this problem I don't think I should be so set to leave my job I can't see anyone else taking me on anyway with my health problems but if I stay my work know all about that and another reason I can't go is there's a child or two there were getting barely no attention because of special needs they were in a way "dumped" on me and the other day I heard staff say how much one child in particular has progressed in the last 18 months (they didn't mention me but I feel it's a little to do with me)

    1446211076
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Well if those poor kids weren't getting the attention they needed because of the other staffs lack of care, then maybe they should be the ones looking for new jobs...I don't get it when people work in those sorts of professions and then don't seem to care for their clients, be they children, elderly or ill.

    No Kirsty, it sure as hell won't be easy...but it will be worth it, to get you to how you want to be...surely that's worth fighting for, Hun?

    1446211203
    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Trust me if I felt like I was being bullied I wouldn't have stayed on the thread. It feels if anything like a mental health intervention everyone here to help me x

    1446211302
    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Glad you see it that way Kirsty...we do care. xx

    1446211632
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I am also glad that you are keeping your job and not quitting. Just make sure that you try and be better than those other so called carers.and work with pride .

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