• I know it's all I seem to talk about and there's tonnes of threads but...

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    It's ok for now but I had to write down a diary of the problems and whilst she's being nice now it probably won't last this happened last time.

    It's her mistakes, others and not gonna lie the odd mistake of mine. Things like Kirsty you need to wash up quicker yet when she did the washing she left a cup with milk in and it went mouldy over the weekend but it was stacked with clean cups, she'd left food all over the washing up and still does it now. Yet I got the blame and that's just one thing. I take time to wash up so stuff like that doesn't happen.

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Where do you work, a restaurant or pub or something? Not that it matters really. But yes, it does sound like she is either a stress-y sort, or just likes to shift blame.

    keep writing these things down and if you need to bring it up, you have something to back you up. Do any other colleagues witness her having words with you ever?

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Others have seen her pull me into the office but rarely know what it's about and no I work with children.

    I got told off once for taking a toy off a two year old but I got told off months after it happened and when I thought back yes I took the toy off them it had a small piece and was broken and I didn't want a child swallowing a small magnet. I told her I was trying to fix it she was like I saw it with my own eyes funnily enough there was no other witnesses there rarely is

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    It seems a bit strange for her to wait months til after the fact to discipline you over it...is she the type of person who holds something over you never to forget about it? Sounds she may be that way inclined...

    not sure how much advice I can give you, but it sounds a bit like she gets off of having a bit of a power trip...be careful around her...try not to give her a reason to pull you up on anything. Though I'm sure you're already trying to be careful...

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah I really do try my hardest I even took to copying the others but still got pulled up over it. It was things like being told to sit down when outside with the kids then it was no stand up from the same person and yeah she is the manager who's a bit power mad

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, not sure what else to say really. I guess just try to keep professional with her, and keep your distance...

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Do you have a HR person you can talk to about your concerns at work? It could be worth phoning ACAS perhaps to see where you stand with professional bullying, as this is what it certainly sounds like. I went through something very simalar and eventually lost my job there anyway but it's worth a try.

    Nothing will happen overnight, I can appriciate that this all didn't happen overnight but you need to take baby steps into your journey of self love again, keep chasing the appts with the counselling

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah I do try think she's laid off me a bit after I had a panic attack there AND broke down in tears in front of her. (I hadn't meant to and after I was thinking of course it had to be her I cried at)

    She's quite the nosey person too it might be why she doesn't like me I don't open up and tell her everything like the others but I'm s private person. Most of the time to those I know anyway

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    I dont think there's anyone above I can go to but I was told to keep a record there's nothing happening at the moment really. Although last week it was complaining about my skirt on non uniform day I had panda tights black and thick at bottom so legs couldn't be seen and skirt so long it only showed off my knees and apparently it was too short never wear a skirt again etc I couldn't sit down or see children out because my knees were on show

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds like a toxic environment to be in.. I know it is easier said than done but I think you've made a great start removing cam guy first, is there another dept you can go to? Another branch? Obviously I don't know what you do for work, if it's really affecting you so negativley could you not find a different job to get out of that environment? When I was made redundant it was such a huge blessing

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Kirsty92 wrote:

    I dont think there's anyone above I can go to but I was told to keep a record there's nothing happening at the moment really. Although last week it was complaining about my skirt on non uniform day I had panda tights black and thick at bottom so legs couldn't be seen and skirt so long it only showed off my knees and apparently it was too short never wear a skirt again etc I couldn't sit down or see children out because my knees were on show

    Are you keeping a thorough record? How long have you been with said company for? You could have a case for constructive dismissal if you were ever thinking of leaving etc. Do you have any friends or know of anyone in HR? Definatley sounds like bullying and she definatley shouldn't be able to get away with this

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    18 months there is another and I do work between the two the other place is heavenly BUT it's over an hour away on the bus £16 per week bus ticket or nearly £5 a day in petrol it's madness I don't mind it every so often if it was nearer I would've asked to switch ages ago

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Kirsty92 wrote:

    18 months there is another and I do work between the two the other place is heavenly BUT it's over an hour away on the bus £16 per week bus ticket or nearly £5 a day in petrol it's madness I don't mind it every so often if it was nearer I would've asked to switch Cages ago

    Is getting a new job in the equation? I would always see this as a last resort as I'm always for standing your ground, but at the end of the day you've got to take into consideration your well-being, and with everything else going on this is the last thing you need.

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah I've been looking for a new job but it's hard getting interviews when work is so... Unroutined I do varied hours so I can't work anything around my work

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Come on you really need to make this happen Kirsty! I understand but you have really got to make things a priority and do ever you can to make it happen. You can't keep using different excuses, schedule an interview when you're off, or tell work you have an emergency and can't come in, anything, land an interview and get outa there!

    I'm sorry if I have come across rude or unsympathetic, but you cannot help someone who won't help themselves. I don't want to be seen as a bully or blunt or anything like that but we are all trying to help you so much.

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't get out of work that easily and I rarely get days off like when I had physio I kept missing appointments and nearly got kicked off til I explained about work constantly changing their hours on me.

    It's like when I had a day off one time I had to pick up a parcel, go to the doctors, go to the opticians, do my shopping and a million other things and I got a phone call at 7.30am asking me to do 8-6 and I told them no I've got things to do they wouldn't leave me alone and kept calling and messaging me until I said I'd cancel everything for them.

    My last birthday was spent on a course (on a Saturday!) but we were meant to go out the Friday night they waited until I got to work and made me and my family cancel reservations to make me stay and they wouldn't let me leave the office until I agreed

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thats the trouble, you've got to be firm and put your foot down, and keep it down. (hard i know)

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    You dont get that choice with my work I'm afraid if they want you to do it you've got to do it there's no choice. I've even had the manager block the door so I can't get out

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Bullying, pure and simple Kirsty. Find another job!

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    +1 to bunny in above post. Stop making excuses to the situation at work, get outa there and get a new job. You can't expect things to change if you don't start the ball rolling!

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