• I know it's all I seem to talk about and there's tonnes of threads but...

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Kirsty92 wrote:

    Haha thanks guys but with the ex interest it's much harder to bin him when I need him. If I'm another option I personally don't mind he's risking a lot just to keep me going through all this hell im going through he knows my mum will rip him a new one if she finds out he's contacted me again. His new girl... Well from the way he's been talking he's not bothered about her at all he's going behind he back to talk to me. If I mention her he just says it's ok or no she doesn't no. I'm not sure and not having my hopes up but there's a chance the novelty has already worn off. If they're still seeing each other he obviously cares more about me or he wouldn't be keeping it from her. I wish I could go back to how we were. Never been so happy. Think my mates and I just scared him off a bit my friends were so determined we confirm our relationship even though it was nothing serious my friends kept pushing and pushing and he freaked out it's understandable we were just having fun and I want to go back to that so much.

    Sometimes hun I think in cases like this we only remember the good things.. we look through at the past with rose tinted glasses to see things how we want to see and remember them. There's nothing to say that if he does decide to get back with you, that what he is doing and keeping you as his plan B, he would do with someone else while with you. You can say he wouldn't do this to you, but believe me, he would!

    Definitely he would do the same to you Kirsty, I think deep down you know it...Otherwise you would've gotten with him already...

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Luv bunny wrote:

    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Kirsty92 wrote:

    Haha thanks guys but with the ex interest it's much harder to bin him when I need him. If I'm another option I personally don't mind he's risking a lot just to keep me going through all this hell im going through he knows my mum will rip him a new one if she finds out he's contacted me again. His new girl... Well from the way he's been talking he's not bothered about her at all he's going behind he back to talk to me. If I mention her he just says it's ok or no she doesn't no. I'm not sure and not having my hopes up but there's a chance the novelty has already worn off. If they're still seeing each other he obviously cares more about me or he wouldn't be keeping it from her. I wish I could go back to how we were. Never been so happy. Think my mates and I just scared him off a bit my friends were so determined we confirm our relationship even though it was nothing serious my friends kept pushing and pushing and he freaked out it's understandable we were just having fun and I want to go back to that so much.

    Sometimes hun I think in cases like this we only remember the good things.. we look through at the past with rose tinted glasses to see things how we want to see and remember them. There's nothing to say that if he does decide to get back with you, that what he is doing and keeping you as his plan B, he would do with someone else while with you. You can say he wouldn't do this to you, but believe me, he would!

    Definitely he would do the same to you Kirsty, I think deep down you know it...Otherwise you would've gotten with him already...

    +1. There is something in your gut that deep deeeeeep down is telling you not to do it. Our gut instinct is almost always right

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Haha love the cheerleading

    However there is nothing in my gut telling me not to get with him there is something in HIS head saying "you're gonna break that girls get away before you truly mess her up" he's guilty because of one thing he did in the past his own sister said its broken him well and truly so now he tries to stay away but with me he was getting pulled in he was being like a boyfriend and I think that scared him because he's scared I'll get hurt and in his words "I can't do that to you, you're an amazing girl and I can't be the one to break your heart"

    If I could persuade him (God knows I've tried!) then we would be together I'm sure of it.

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Still not buying it. You're his plan b and he's just masking his intentions by being sweet about it.

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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Still not buying it. You're his plan b and he's just masking his intentions by being sweet about it.

    I don't feel like he's being completely genuine either...especially with the way he's going behind that other girls back!

    He would do the exact same to you, if you were together and another honey caught his eye! Or his dick, lol! Delete him and forget him...honestly Kirsty, how many times do we need to say this, Hun!

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    You are only going to get hurt in the long run, you think it's fine, but your mind has a way of switching off to protect you. I think this isn't allowing you to fully see and appriciate what is going on here and you are only allowing yourself to see what you want to see.

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    You are only going to get hurt in the long run, you think it's fine, but your mind has a way of switching off to protect you. I think this isn't allowing you to fully see and appriciate what is going on here and you are only allowing yourself to see what you want to see.

    Seriously hurt. You can only block out the negative emotions for a time. Eventually it will catch up with you, and it could destroy you. You already sound vulnerable enough, don't make yourself more so. Listen to us, Kirsty we are trying to help you from making a big mistake, perhaps the biggest mistake of your life! You need to wake up and smell the coffee, woman!

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    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Still not buying it. You're his plan b and he's just masking his intentions by being sweet about it.

    I actually dont think kirsty is his plan b. I really think he just wants to be friends and is trying to let her down gently.

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Luv bunny wrote:

    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Kirsty92 wrote:

    Haha thanks guys but with the ex interest it's much harder to bin him when I need him. If I'm another option I personally don't mind he's risking a lot just to keep me going through all this hell im going through he knows my mum will rip him a new one if she finds out he's contacted me again. His new girl... Well from the way he's been talking he's not bothered about her at all he's going behind he back to talk to me. If I mention her he just says it's ok or no she doesn't no. I'm not sure and not having my hopes up but there's a chance the novelty has already worn off. If they're still seeing each other he obviously cares more about me or he wouldn't be keeping it from her. I wish I could go back to how we were. Never been so happy. Think my mates and I just scared him off a bit my friends were so determined we confirm our relationship even though it was nothing serious my friends kept pushing and pushing and he freaked out it's understandable we were just having fun and I want to go back to that so much.

    Sometimes hun I think in cases like this we only remember the good things.. we look through at the past with rose tinted glasses to see things how we want to see and remember them. There's nothing to say that if he does decide to get back with you, that what he is doing and keeping you as his plan B, he would do with someone else while with you. You can say he wouldn't do this to you, but believe me, he would!

    Definitely he would do the same to you Kirsty, I think deep down you know it...Otherwise you would've gotten with him already...

    +1. There is something in your gut that deep deeeeeep down is telling you not to do it. Our gut instinct is almost always right

    Much as you like this guy I think you should just be his friend and nothing more. He can't be that nice a guy if he is messaging you behind this other girl's back or admits to you he is only using her for sex. That's really disrespectful to treat anyone like that unless they are on board for a casual sex only arrangement too.

    Glad to hear you got rid of tinder and snapchat and stopped contact with cam guy. The last thing you need for your self esteem just now is a stranger meeting you just for sex, treating you like a peace of meat, taking your virginity like a trophy without giving a shit and tossing you aside like a used condom after.

    Take care of yourself first. Get yourself in a good place mentally and the right guy will come along eventually.

    Can I sign up for the cheerleading squad please too?

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    We are just being friends. I wish something more would come out of it but as I have said I don't see it happening and it is just a casual arrangement the other girl knows that (yet immediately started with the my man this and my man that I was like funnily enough he's not YOUR man you're just having the occasional fuck)

    I can't get him out of my life, we blocked and deleted each other for two weeks (I felt even worse) then he started messaging again and when he's around things feel a little bit better. I don't think he's using me he's just being a good mate. He was concerned that he left me broken hearted and hurt and said he needed to check on me I told him I was doin ok on that front he was like ok good I just needed to apologise and see if you were ok then when someone close to me nearly died last week I messaged him, I really needed him I didn't tell him what was straight away I just said I was having a crap weekend to say the least and it was times like then that I really missed him. He came back to me and was like I hope everything's ok and then I spilt everything to him that I've been going through and he's been a true diamond helping me through it. Even saying stuff to make me smile and the annoying thing is... He knew it worked and it made me smile so there was no hiding it. He's always had something about him that's always made me smile when really I don't want to.

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Just friends with this guy is fine for now. I think you enjoy being able to talk to him and confide in him about stuff. Try hard not to obsess over him though and what will be will be.

    I'm glad to hear that the other girl knows it's a casual arrangement and not likely to lead to a happy ever after. At least she knows not to get attached to him if she can help it. I also hope she doesn't end up pregnant with his baby if it's just sex but hopefully they are being careful.

    I personally couldn't have sex with anyone I wasn't in love with. But that's my take on things and we all think and do stuff differently.

    Have fun this weekend. Are you getting dressed up and having a party with your friends?

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not sure but I believe he's quite the careful guy. I'm not obsessing over him Im just happy he's back in my life yes I would like it as more but I don't see it happening.

    No guy has ever had such an affect on me, it's kinda annoying that I let myself fall so hard but just having him in my life is more than enough right now. I'm just glad he cares. I said to him last night basically you've done more for me than friends of 12-13 years have done for me and any other guy would've run when they had the chance and not looked back (he had a chance we didn't talk for over two weeks but something pulled him back) I said that no guy would've stuck around especially after finding out how messed up I am. I also said I didn't know why he wanted to help me but that I am truly grateful for it.

    I'm not doing anything really just handing out the sweets not dressing up or anything.

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Imh95, of course you can sign up for the squad haha!

    Kirsty, I do think the best way to get over someone truly is to cut all contact with him, it will stop you obsessing over him. Someone else will make you feel this way again, but honestly the more you say "nope. nope. nope. it's him or nothing, he is the ONLY one for me" the less likely is someone else really will come along.

    You want that, surely? Someone to treat you how you deserve and like a princess? It's funny how the universe works and trust me someone will come along but you have to open to it. You'll never meet mr right if you never let go of mr wrong, kirsty! There are billions of people on this planet and trust me, there is more than 1 that would love to be with you and make you happy, trust me!

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    I honestly can't let go. Not just yet. I'm trying to move on with other guys but that's gone badly.

    I just can't get rid of him. Even if it's for the best in the long run I can't do it. I... Love him. Oh god when did I let myself get so mushy and let myself fall for anyone? But he's just amazing it can't be helped. He's the best I've ever had an the best I'll ever get. He treated me like a princess and I woke up every day counting myself so lucky to have him a part of my life. All and any time of day he was on my mind and we were talking pretty much every hour of the day it was like he never left my side

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sorry I know everyone's trying to help but I can't just leave him. I've tried I was more miserable than ever

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Feel like a lost cause like I'm letting you all down but I truly can't help how I feel. I don't feel obsessed with him it's just nice he's there for me but I would always go back to how we were in the blink of an eye if I could.

    I wouldn't care if I was his first or last choice just being with him or having him in my life makes me that little bit happier. My stomach still flips every time I see his name on my phone. I still wake up to check the app we used to talk to each other (a free messaging app, he was the only person I had on it so I always knew he messaged me) sometimes I hear that app go off when I'm asleep but it's all in my head. He has Facebook now so he just messages me on there (the app kept playing up anyway lol)

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    Kirsty92 [sign in to see picture]
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    Has just found out he isn't seeing or even casually sleeping with that girl I'm not meant to know but he thought if he told me he was seeing someone else I'd go and I'd not get heartbroken worse further down the line. I'm actually a bit happy not gonna lie because the thought of those two was hurting me especially as they've known each other for so long I was left with loads of questions like why wait til now? Well they never were and I'm happy. Ok we aren't back together we probably won't be but he's there for me that's all I need

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Honestly don't believe that btw, I think either he regrets that other girl and is pretending it never happened, or he's considering you an option again and pretending he's single so you'll go back to him. I thought you said the other girl used to talk about him as her man? He seems indecisive and manipulative tbh

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Honestly don't believe that btw, I think either he regrets that other girl and is pretending it never happened, or he's considering you an option again and pretending he's single so you'll go back to him. I thought you said the other girl used to talk about him as her man? He seems indecisive and manipulative tbh

    +1

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    caramel-eyes [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, I've not posted on here before but I have been reading in and the various comments.

    In my opinion, if this guy wanted to be with you then he would be.
    And you say you love him and he's amazing and makes you feel great etc etc but.... He's either lied to you or has been disrespectful to another girl.
    If he's not fooling around with the other girl then he lied to you; that makes him the opposite of amazing.
    And if he is fooling around with this other girl which at one point you said she knows its casual and the next she's saying he's her man, and he's messaging you behind her back, and saying they're not together any more or that it never really happened, then that's not amazing either.... He sounds like a tool to me.
    The only way you can be truly happy is to forget about hour other people make you feel and concentrate on you. You don't need people to make you feel good, you need to make yourself feel good!!

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