• How do i cope with wifes affair

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    No, but I still think it's wrong to spy on someone just because you think they are cheating. If you don't trust your partner enough so you have to spy on their phone, I don't think the relationship is great anyway and would probably end in the couple splitting up even though there may not be any cheating involved. Trust is essential in a relationship.

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    John Puttock [sign in to see picture]
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    Okay, let's just go with it as with one of the variants. I won't argue that trust is the most important thing, but still, sometimes your partner doesn't even leave your another choice. I've been there once and I wish I had known about her affair earlier, so I would just get ready for a split at least, or have a talk with her and understand why in the world she would do that. If I knew it, we could have just make some conclusions out of our relationship and be a happy couple after all. But, still, you do have a point.

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I guess a problem appears when the cheating partner doesn't say anything and in your case it would have been better for you to know earlier. I just don't like the thought of someone spying on their partner because I think in most cases their partner isn't really cheating and it would just invade their privacy and destory the trust they may have had beforehand.

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    John Puttock [sign in to see picture]
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    Of course! Spying only because your partner liked somebody else's post on Facebook is crazy!

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    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Can count on one hand the times ive done this but i ferl obligated as that links illegal. It's a massive line we're talking about crossing here and only ends in tears.

    How do you think the victim of being spyed on would feel? How would you like every move you make spyed on and by somebody you trust? Spying full stop is crazy!

    It's so wrong words fail me

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    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    I must of made a mess of last post or part got deleted?

    I've never spyed on anyone not would I dream of it. That isn't what I was trying to say. I meant obligated to comment. I'll leave the rest of what I meant to/posted incase it for deleted ?

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    I must of made a mess of last post or part got deleted?

    I've never spyed on anyone not would I dream of it. That isn't what I was trying to say. I meant obligated to comment. I'll leave the rest of what I meant to/posted incase it for deleted ?

    If it was deleted it would probably say removed by moderator, maybe you pressed send too early? I'm always doing that!

    I wouldn't spy on anyone either, I'd feel like I was betraying them, which would be awful especially if they hadn't done anything in the first place. If you can't trust someone until they prove you have a reason not to, then you probably shouldn't be with them in the first place.

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    John Puttock [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    Can count on one hand the times ive done this but i ferl obligated as that links illegal. It's a massive line we're talking about crossing here and only ends in tears.

    How do you think the victim of being spyed on would feel? How would you like every move you make spyed on and by somebody you trust? Spying full stop is crazy!

    It's so wrong words fail me

    Trust issues come from your partner. I mean, if he or she doesn't trust you enough to tell the truth, but you still know it's out there, what else do you have to do? Furthermore, the partner doesn't have to know about being spied on. It's only made for one side of relationship, for retaining self-confidence or, otherwise, completely losing it.

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    amber_angel [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the point is that the spying would be done because there is behavior that is indicating that something is wrong.

    For example, all of a sudden late nights, secret phone calls, caught in lies, unfamiliar scents, drastic decrease in sexual activity, and so on and so on.

    Let's say you confront your partner without "proof" and there is betrayal and adultery going on.

    You have just alerted them how to be more careful in the future and who knows how much longer the shit will continue until you actually catch them.

    Or they may just cool off for a while until you start to not be suspicious and then be more careful.

    For peace of mind and mental and physical health, I can see wanting to get proof one way or the other.

    The problem is that those that would find the action of "spying" horrific and morally outrageous are probably the ones that would not even consider betraying their partner with adultery so cannot imagine the absolute pain that the person can be feeling when they have to begin to lose trust in their partner because of their actions causing to suspect infidelity.

    amber

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    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    NatandTom wrote:

    slinky binky wrote:

    I must of made a mess of last post or part got deleted?

    I've never spyed on anyone not would I dream of it. That isn't what I was trying to say. I meant obligated to comment. I'll leave the rest of what I meant to/posted incase it for deleted ?

    If it was deleted it would probably say removed by moderator, maybe you pressed send too early? I'm always doing that!

    I wouldn't spy on anyone either, I'd feel like I was betraying them, which would be awful especially if they hadn't done anything in the first place. If you can't trust someone until they prove you have a reason not to, then you probably shouldn't be with them in the first place.

    If I remove anything you shall see *removed by moderator* and same if Jess does some moderating she uses a similar statement yes

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