• How do i cope with wifes affair

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    I feel for you, my hubby has no interest in sex in fact today asked why I'd brought a new vibrator. Ill health is his problem, I have crushes and toys but I'd never cheat on him yes its hard but at least I know I'm loved, he treated me the other day. We're going to see SPECTRE on Monday, once a month we have the afternoon out, we enjoy that very much. Hugs whatever you do do it for you and no one else,the children will survive a split, better this than two parents who can't stand the sight of each other.

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    powys [sign in to see picture]
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    It is not that we can not stand the sight of each other. I do love her and i think she does love me as much as she will ever love someone. I dont think she will ever know what true love is. For me i thought i had found my soul mate and i thibk she now realises she had hers all along but could not see it. I think and she has said as much that she belives she has ruined everything and she has lost one person that loves her truly and would have done anything for her. The whole thing reminds me of the SAM SMITH SONG "I KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE" now i know why i had been listening to that song so much over the last few months. The words make so much more sense now.

    For me i am telling myself this is over now. But i will not get bitter with her. I am going to tell her it the best for her mainly as she needs to meet someone who knows her as the person i married and not as a cheat etc. I know i will not get through this so there is no point letting her try to save our marrige. I love her enough to let her go and find happines again. Yes i will be heart broken but im heart broken if she stays. And i also want to make sure she can not hurt me again. Also i have not been totaly honest here. She has cheated on me once before we were married. For all i know there could me more times. It is definitly time to call an end to this relationship. Its going to be hard but im sure it will be the best for my own sanity.

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    [suspended user]

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    Oh bless ya, this is not an easy time for all concerned. I'm happy though you've found the strength to come to some conclusion over her indisgrestions, that's the only positive to come out of this. I personally think you're getting depressed over this. I've been watching this thread and what you've had to say. It's affecting your health which is not surprising, not eating etc. Think for your sake and that of your kids, that you're going to have to find some extra strength and pull yourself together some what! Please don't think I'm being harsh, but those babies need a functioning healthy dadddy, not one that's falling apart at the seems. x

    Listening to that song on repeat repeat is not helping your cause huni. Let the light back in and try to move forward without her. You've been terribly hurt and we all feel it's just shit what you're going through, but it's time to get a grip and do what needs to be done.

    Sorry if I come across as an uncaring cow! I'm not! and I'm only thinking of your well being! x

    1445683043
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it's lovely that even after she hurt you, you want the best for her. I don't see that much these days. Good for you for doing what's best for you too. Break ups will never be easy but it sounds like it could help you try in whatever way is needed to find peace with the situation. I hope your health is improving.

    1445707267
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    powys wrote:

    It is not that we can not stand the sight of each other. I do love her and i think she does love me as much as she will ever love someone. I dont think she will ever know what true love is. For me i thought i had found my soul mate and i thibk she now realises she had hers all along but could not see it. I think and she has said as much that she belives she has ruined everything and she has lost one person that loves her truly and would have done anything for her. The whole thing reminds me of the SAM SMITH SONG "I KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE" now i know why i had been listening to that song so much over the last few months. The words make so much more sense now.

    For me i am telling myself this is over now. But i will not get bitter with her. I am going to tell her it the best for her mainly as she needs to meet someone who knows her as the person i married and not as a cheat etc. I know i will not get through this so there is no point letting her try to save our marrige. I love her enough to let her go and find happines again. Yes i will be heart broken but im heart broken if she stays. And i also want to make sure she can not hurt me again. Also i have not been totaly honest here. She has cheated on me once before we were married. For all i know there could me more times. It is definitly time to call an end to this relationship. Its going to be hard but im sure it will be the best for my own sanity.

    You poor thing, I'm appalled

    , you must take care of yourself, well done on not being bitter to her, but you come first now, hugs.

    1446047717
    powys [sign in to see picture]
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    Something i failed to mention earlier and this is the part i will never understand. As you know i drop my wife of at the station, after this for some unkown reason she cancels the person she has planned this meeting with by text " i seen these few texts as at first she tried to use them to convince me she had come to her senses and decided to spend the night alone at the hotel regreting the mistake she had nearly made. It was the bank statement a week layer that showed the £51 resturant bill that then catches her out again. She then when caught out decides to say " oh we did just meet up for a meal" this is when i said you could not have met this person as i seen the texts were you canceled him. This is when i said "enough of the lies this is getting ridicoulous, and i also reminded her how she was making me ill and had put me in hospital. I told her take a few deep breaths and only speak when you are ready to tell the truth. After a moments she admited after canceling this first man she then arranged to meet another person she had been chatting to through the dating website she then also admited going back to the hotel for sex and dressing up for him. I asked her why after almost doing the right thing and canceling the first person did she then invite someone else. She claims that by this time she was in the hotel alone and when this person rang she told him she was having a night to herself. He then asked her if she would like to meet up for a meal as he could get there within 2 hours. I asked her why did she agree to this and her answer " i was there alone so i thought i might as well as" how do you reason with someone who has that mentality?.

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    powys wrote:

    Something i failed to mention earlier and this is the part i will never understand. As you know i drop my wife of at the station, after this for some unkown reason she cancels the person she has planned this meeting with by text " i seen these few texts as at first she tried to use them to convince me she had come to her senses and decided to spend the night alone at the hotel regreting the mistake she had nearly made. It was the bank statement a week layer that showed the £51 resturant bill that then catches her out again. She then when caught out decides to say " oh we did just meet up for a meal" this is when i said you could not have met this person as i seen the texts were you canceled him. This is when i said "enough of the lies this is getting ridicoulous, and i also reminded her how she was making me ill and had put me in hospital. I told her take a few deep breaths and only speak when you are ready to tell the truth. After a moments she admited after canceling this first man she then arranged to meet another person she had been chatting to through the dating website she then also admited going back to the hotel for sex and dressing up for him. I asked her why after almost doing the right thing and canceling the first person did she then invite someone else. She claims that by this time she was in the hotel alone and when this person rang she told him she was having a night to herself. He then asked her if she would like to meet up for a meal as he could get there within 2 hours. I asked her why did she agree to this and her answer " i was there alone so i thought i might as xwell as" how do you reason with someone who has that mentality?.

    I might as well, words fail me you poor thing.

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Powys, I have no words. I honestly say I would rather have every bone in my body broken than a broken heart. My thoughts are with you x

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    kittencub wrote:

    powys wrote:

    Something i failed to mention earlier and this is the part i will never understand. As you know i drop my wife of at the station, after this for some unkown reason she cancels the person she has planned this meeting with by text " i seen these few texts as at first she tried to use them to convince me she had come to her senses and decided to spend the night alone at the hotel regreting the mistake she had nearly made. It was the bank statement a week layer that showed the £51 resturant bill that then catches her out again. She then when caught out decides to say " oh we did just meet up for a meal" this is when i said you could not have met this person as i seen the texts were you canceled him. This is when i said "enough of the lies this is getting ridicoulous, and i also reminded her how she was making me ill and had put me in hospital. I told her take a few deep breaths and only speak when you are ready to tell the truth. After a moments she admited after canceling this first man she then arranged to meet another person she had been chatting to through the dating website she then also admited going back to the hotel for sex and dressing up for him. I asked her why after almost doing the right thing and canceling the first person did she then invite someone else. She claims that by this time she was in the hotel alone and when this person rang she told him she was having a night to herself. He then asked her if she would like to meet up for a meal as he could get there within 2 hours. I asked her why did she agree to this and her answer " i was there alone so i thought i might as xwell as" how do you reason with someone who has that mentality?.

    I might as well, words fail me you poor thing.

    FFS, this woman is so selfish. If she thinks like that you are definitely better off without her!

    Even more so if she's done it before and still not learnt the error of her ways.

    I wish you all the best with piecing your life back together without your wife. You have your kids, family and friends. You don't need this woman who obviously has no respect for you, or herself it seems.

    1446051132
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with the others here. She is really messing you about. If you want to salvage your marriage then like I said and others you need professional help to sort this out.

    Left as it is it isn't going to get better.

    1446060516

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    Oh geez! that's pretty heart breaking stuff. I'm so very sorry! Please look after yourself though!!! x

    1446061998

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    No advise but *hugs* my heart really does go out to you x

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I've also been following this thread but unfortunately I can't offer any advise other than what's already been given .All I can say is that I'm so sorry for everything you've been put through and at least you have the support from all of us on here x

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    powys [sign in to see picture]
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    Bumped for goodkat

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    blu2 [sign in to see picture]
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    :( so sorry Powys how are you now? X

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    John Puttock [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, I don't know if you're still interested, but with all that stuff about protecting phone calls... *removed by moderator* hope it helps! I actually used it once for different purpose... tried to track everything my workers have done at their workplaces. They didn't know it, so I guess these apps really help.

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    Isn't it illegal to spy on someones phone? Seems pretty immoral to me.

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Sxleksaker wrote:

    Isn't it illegal to spy on someones phone? Seems pretty immoral to me.

    This !

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Agreed sxleksaker, I guess the OP isn't about any more, but I feel if you decide to give things another go, you have to allow yourself to trust your partner again. You have to agree to put everything behind you and not continue to hold it against your partner for years to come.

    Love is all about baring your soul and leaving yourself open to being hurt. That's why it hurts so bad when a partner cheats. But when you love each other fiercely, nothing is better in my opinion 😊

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    John Puttock [sign in to see picture]
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    Sxleksaker wrote:

    Isn't it illegal to spy on someones phone? Seems pretty immoral to me.

    Well, maybe it is, but... Love is like a war, you know. Any methods can be considered when you're trying to understand what's going on. Nobody likes being cheated on.

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