• OH seems disinterested in some toys and trying kinkier sex

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    MrTsex [sign in to see picture]
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    I bet he just needs pulling along, pardon the pun!!

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    MrTsex wrote:

    Some times if one partner is a little less confident they may need that little bit of guidance just to help get them get into the swing of things! ;-)

    I think I also struggle with confidence at times, not just him. I don't know if the idea of domination (whether it be me or him being the submissive one) is a bit 'scary' for him, or like, if he doesn't understand why one partner would like being told what to do...

    He's not always forthcoming with answers these types of questions...

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    MrTsex [sign in to see picture]
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    I think I was not too confident when I started out but now after a lot of experimenting I know what I want and what the OH wants. We just kind of give and take. I think that what you say in sex and how you say it makes a huge difference! Dunno if anyone else agrees?!

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    MrTsex [sign in to see picture]
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    Luv bunny wrote:

    MrTsex wrote:

    Some times if one partner is a little less confident they may need that little bit of guidance just to help get them get into the swing of things! ;-)

    I think I also struggle with confidence at times, not just him. I don't know if the idea of domination (whether it be me or him being the submissive one) is a bit 'scary' for him, or like, if he doesn't understand why one partner would like being told what to do...

    He's not always forthcoming with answers these types of questions...

    You know what the best thing you will take from talking about this with him and experimenting with him is? You will get to know him so much more and hopefully he will really open up with you. :-)
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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    I hope he does open up to me more...I don't want to scare him too much though, once trust is broken, it's kind of hard to regain it. So think some areas will require some degree of caution. Many thanks for the useful hints though. It's been fun swapping ideas!

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    MrTsex [sign in to see picture]
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    I take it something happened with one of you then to break that trust! The thing with mistakes is we are weak at the time of the mistake but when we overcome the mistake we are stronger than ever before which provides a good foundation to build on and improve upon!

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    No, nothing has really happened to break any trust, though he's had my depression shit from years ago to deal with. I dont know if he blames himself at all, I certainly don't blame him and tell him that. But when someone close to you sees you literally fall apart at the seams I guess it will have lasting repercussions.

    I think he feels pretty stressed with his work at the moment. I try to get him to talk to me about it. Sometimes he does, and I try to give him empathy and suggest ways forward. My suggestions usually involve him talking to people though, and I think he finds that difficult. I think he doesn't like to 'rock the boat' so to speak, but it's learning to do it in a way that doesn't piss people off I guess.

    And I'm rambling again!

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    MrTsex [sign in to see picture]
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    No your not. Where you have been on that front I'm just starting to get out of it. Well trying to. Even the strongest have their moments of fatigue. Somethimes you just get lost and loose who you are momentarily. Its not easy to climb back up and get yourself back and even then I think part of you goes forever. You say and do things without realising it. Its like an auto mode and suddenly your existing and not living. Its a tough cycle to break. :-(

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    What is helping you get through your black period?

    Interesting you say that part of you goes forever. I'm not sure if I feel like a part of me went when I recovered after my illness, but I seem to go from sometimes feeling really down, and hating myself and life to other times when I feel unbelievable happy. Yes there are feelings in the middle as well, like general contentment, or a desire to progress to the next goal, sometimes frustration, disappointment, sadness, anger, but I think there is always hope there as well.

    the difference between existing and living is a hard one to distinguish. Sometimes it can feel perfectly fine to just exist...at other times there's a real sense of ennui, like is this the fucking best I can get from this life?! I'm just a melting pot of loads of emotions really. But I'd rather that than the numbness that real depression casts over you. That feeling is awful.

    How does your experience affect your OH? Is she understanding? Does she step back and give you space you need (if you need it)?

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    MrTsex [sign in to see picture]
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    Dont know how I get through those days I just kind of do! The OH tries her best but she thinks it's silly. She good really but she gets sick of it which I understand.

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    MrTsex wrote:

    Dont know how I get through those days I just kind of do! The OH tries her best but she thinks it's silly. She good really but she gets sick of it which I understand.

    Yeah, life goes on and all that, you just get on with it.

    I think it's hard for people who haven't had a genuine issue with their mental health to empathise sometimes. Like it's just all in your head. I mean yeah, it is to an extent, but it impacts on everything else, so it's not like you want to feel so down! A bit like expecting someone with a broken leg to just walk on it!

    But I can see that the people that are trying to be supportive would find it really hard when it seems like nothing they try to do to help seems to work. In those cases, I think they just need to be there quietly in the background and wait for you to reach out to them when you're ready.

    haha, I sound like some kind of wannabe psychiatrist, but I do find mental health a really fascinating area.

    As for the fun side of things, last night didn't quite work out...after getting myself in my sexy red crotchless pants with suspenders and stockings and a red bra, all under my dress I go down to watch some TV with OH. I teased him a bit, by bending over pretending to look for something on the coffee table, lol! We go to bed, and he's tired but willing to let me play with him. We try a new cock ring, but he is so tired it kind of goes flat, so then we just end up having a cuddle and then going to sleep.

    He is going away this weekend, and I will be busy with the little one. Think some space will do us good, or at least I hope it does. As long as he doesn't come back even more tired than he already is!

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    MrTsex [sign in to see picture]
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    Well Luv bunny psychiatrist. Your right it's hard to understand something that's you have never felt yourself and from an outsiders perspective I agree it can seem silly. But to me and you it was and is very real.

    As for you fun side of things. I bet the view was amazing! 😉 At least you had a snuggle 😏 I hope the space does some good for you too. Some couples need that. You never know he might come home and ravage you. Crotchless 😄 love it!!

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