• Help convincing GF

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    21, almost always naked [sign in to see picture]
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    Me and my OH have always been open when it comes to experimenting in the bedroom, we've always had toys and restraints etc. But recently I've found she's reluctant to use anything to spice things up. She has always loved to do bondage play until recently.

    We have an amazing sex life and are at it every other day but I do like to indulge in bondage/role play sessions fairly frequently, either to tie her up or be tied up.

    Any ideas on how to gradually reintroduce this almost lost past time?

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe ask her why she isn't interested in it lately?

    1440451874
    21, almost always naked [sign in to see picture]
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    Have obviously considered that but I don't want to appear too pushy about it :(

    1440452411
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    I have found writing letters has helped. Jot down your thoughts and wishes, include that you still want regular passionate sex, but a bit of kink thrown in one in a while.

    Just a suggestion.

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    Zerlina [sign in to see picture]
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    Er, trying to sneak it in or convince her is far pushier than asking her about it. Good communication and negotiation is the cornerstone of good sex, especially kinky sex.

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    BDSM-curious [sign in to see picture]
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    Zerlina wrote:

    Er, trying to sneak it in or convince her is far pushier than asking her about it. Good communication and negotiation is the cornerstone of good sex, especially kinky sex.

    +1

    1440456844
    21, almost always naked [sign in to see picture]
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    BDSM Curious... What's the ringed thing over the wrists in your pic? Looks interesting hehe

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    RedCheeks [sign in to see picture]
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    Having to 'convince' her to do something isn't right, even if she did at one point want it she obviously has different feelings now, maybe ask her what changed while making it clear that there is no pressure to do it again.

    Maybe she felt uncomfortable while tied up and didn't voice it, maybe she tried it for your sake and decided it wasnt for her, you wont know til you ask.

    I'd concentrate more on understanding her feelings on it rather than trying to change her tastes.

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    BDSM-curious [sign in to see picture]
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    BDSM-curious wrote:

    Zerlina wrote:

    Er, trying to sneak it in or convince her is far pushier than asking her about it. Good communication and negotiation is the cornerstone of good sex, especially kinky sex.

    +1

    It's a stock picture, not me.

    They are something like this http://www.amazon.com/Stainless-Bondage-Handcuffs-Novelty-Shipping/dp/B00G3T380Q

    1440460823
    21, almost always naked [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you! Will invest ;)

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    Luv bunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe she feels that kinky sex is somehow 'wrong' and she feels like she shouldn't enjoy it, what with all the stuff in media about domestic violence and the backlash from 50shades...

    Or she just plain doesn't enjoy it anymore full stop. But either way, talking to her in a non - confrontational way may help shed some light on why she's gone off it.

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Could be that she's getting a little bored with what you've both been doing and would maybe like to indulge in something a bit different, she could just be very tired if she's been working a lot, she could have other issues on her mind, could be her hormones.......could be a million reasons to be honest.

    But unless you have a chat you wont know - she may not really know. Have a very gentle chat, communication is so important in relationships of any kind but particulary so in sexual ones. Dont just come out with 'why dont you like......' any more, ask her if she's feeling ok, if she's stressed about anything, there's something new that she'd maybe like to try....is there something she'd like you to do FOR her (not TO her), big difference. In the meantime cuddle, kiss her and make her feel loved xxx

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    bharool [sign in to see picture]
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    I found a while back that I was so focussed on trying to make things different and exciting for my OH that I had completely forgotten about plain old romance and love making.

    The plastic rose and pound shop chocolates didn't go down too well though.

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    If its something you have done and she's decided she doesn't want to any more you have to respect that I'm afraid, you can't convince you to try it if she already has and decided she doesn't want to. I do think you need to ask why though just for your own peace of mind, it might have been that you were too eager or pushed her too far, or she could just not like it. Sorry there's no magic answers

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