• Advice please

    1439918358
    Pudgie [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi everyone I was wondering if you can help I've been with my oh for 15 years and married for 9 years we have 2 children

    Our sex life has never been fantastic but it's never really bothered me my oh just wants to put it in ASAP and get his orgasm and leaves me hanging all the time even though I've mentioned it all the time over the years it's never changed

    Well since reading the famous 50 shades it's made me realise how much I'm missing out I really want our sex to increase and improve I've mentioned it to my oh and if anything it's gone the other way I've got a bullet and I seem to turn to that instead of my hubby as I know I will orgasm I've tried all sorts sexting using the bullet on him etc but it's just crap

    1439918815
    Onlyones [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you tried him using the bullet on you,he may actually feel threatened by the thought of toys being introduced so take things slowly.Seems unfair he is only interested in getting his and no consideration for you.You say you have mentioned it but have you actually sat down and had a proper chat about it.

    1439920312
    Pudgie [sign in to see picture]
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    We have tried it on me but again he wants to rush maybe I need another chat but it just doesn't sink in

    1439920673
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    When I was in a LTR with an ex, he would occasionally be the same. We tried to talk, but he'd rarely listened, so I found that writing a letter for him, seemed to get it through to him that I wanted a more passionate sex life, instead of the rush for him to cum and then roll over. It did work, but then sadly other parts of the relationship failed and I had to leave him.

    1439920936
    Pudgie [sign in to see picture]
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    He's had a letter as well :(

    1439921262
    kinkytaffs [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds like a your husband is pretty selfish in the bedroom. Tell him little dicky gets no reward until he makes you orgasm first.

    1439921470
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    oh holy hell, I am sorry but that sounds awful. Is he really not that interested in trying? Is he worried if he doesn't "go" right away that he is going to cum too fast? Or is he really THAT selfish. I guess to me he needs to understand that sex is more than just him putting it in and getting off.

    What has he said when you have tried to discuss it?

    Have you tried discussing a sexual fantasy to see if that helps him understand more?

    1439921877
    Pudgie [sign in to see picture]
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    He just says he will be more considerate and he is the next time we do it then after that it back to it's old self again we are having less sex now because I just go mardy on him the next day and won't talk to him because it just makes me feel awful now

    1439922331
    Sexy Sally [sign in to see picture]
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    My Hubby licks my pussy for 15-2- minutes first, then the bullet then the big vibe, if he's lucky he gets to fuck me but he has to work for it!

    1439922357
    HappilyExperimenting [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with kinkytaffs, he shouldn't be getting his orgasm if you never get yours! He sounds like a very selfish husband and unfortunately if that's the way he is still after being talked to AND written a letter I don't know where you could go from here. Marriage counselling perhaps? It is very selfish of him to not think of your orgasm and just wanting to "put it in ASAP" as you said. Does he spend adequate time on foreplay and arousing you? Or would he dive in even if you weren't wet? You need to have a good long conversation with him and give him an ultimatum or he'll never listen. I feel very sorry for you hun, huge hugs to be stuck in this situation!

    1439922802
    Pudgie [sign in to see picture]
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    He just dives in we can be asleep within half hour of going up to bed and have sex it's that quick

    1439924024
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Pudgie wrote:

    Hi everyone I was wondering if you can help I've been with my oh for 15 years and married for 9 years we have 2 children

    Our sex life has never been fantastic but it's never really bothered me my oh just wants to put it in ASAP and get his orgasm and leaves me hanging all the time even though I've mentioned it all the time over the years it's never changed

    Well since reading the famous 50 shades it's made me realise how much I'm missing out I really want our sex to increase and improve I've mentioned it to my oh and if anything it's gone the other way I've got a bullet and I seem to turn to that instead of my hubby as I know I will orgasm I've tried all sorts sexting using the bullet on him etc but it's just crap

    I had this with my ex, I switched off then I'd tried mentioning so could be more fun, he couldn't be bothered so I thought why bother, he realized a few years later he'd have to make an effort, but then got jealous of my then crushes, for the last few years I showed no interest in sex with him. ,

    1439924082
    Raven93 [sign in to see picture]
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    It could be the way your talking to him, you said "I just go mardy on him the next day" which to me sounds like the issue isn't just with him, try not being confrontational and it should help. Also, just from what you've said, it sounds like a routine before bed almost, it might help to have sex at different times or even sex during the day where the focus is on your orgasm and at night more focus on him, it's all about finding a good balance.

    1439924087
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Pudgie wrote:

    He just dives in we can be asleep within half hour of going up to bed and have sex it's that quick

    Ours was 10 minutes, sex with ex was step one step 2, no change to routine,

    1439924124
    kinkytaffs [sign in to see picture]
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    Well for me this can only be one of two things. He's either selfish or clueless as to what makes a woman tick. Counselling may help if it's the latter. By the way I'm the male half of the couple.

    1439924276
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    My heart goes out to it really does this was my first marriage, in the latter years I hated sex, we used lube he had no idea how to please a woman.

    1439924786
    Chelley82 [sign in to see picture]
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    I sometimes have the same thing with my OH, he trys to get things over and done with but there are times where he'll take things slowly and I will orgasm before him and more after.

    When we met I had only slept with one other bloke and he was still a virgin, so we took things really slow which was great for both of us

    We've been together for 12yrs and married for 1yr. we have 3 girls and sex hasn't been the same, that's mainly because I'm a stay at home mum and I do everything that needs doing at home aswell and looking after the girls while he goes to work.

    I have had an implant and the pill which have both lowered my sex drive so it does take a bit long for me to get "in the mood" which I think frustrates him as he doesn't really understand how the implant and pill have made me feel.

    I too have spoke to my OH about it, but I just don't think he gets it. We have used sex toys, where he has used them on me but he will always rush to make me orgasm so we can have sex or if we haven't used toys and I'm "in the mood" it will be over really quick, My oh the same where he'll be asleep not long after having sex and i'm awake cos I'm horny and have not orgasm so I'd sometimes used a wand to make me climax

    1439926423
    Pudgie [sign in to see picture]
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    I personally think he is clueless as to what to do and I'm not much better I've been with him since I was 16 and only had sex once before him

    1439930808
    BigBouncyBunny [sign in to see picture]
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    kinkytaffs wrote:

    Sounds like a your husband is pretty selfish in the bedroom. Tell him little dicky gets no reward until he makes you orgasm first.

    +1

    1439932328
    filthygorgeous [sign in to see picture]
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    Can you possibly have a night alone and just take the time to explore your own bodies aswell as each other? Show him what gets you going, guide him, tease, play together.

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