• dating sites... free or subscription?

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    MJminx [sign in to see picture]
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    What do you think about dating sites generally? Are they worth bothering with at all? Do you just stick with the free access sites (or parts of sites) or sign up for a monthly subscription?

    I know of the obvious ones like Match, Zoosk and EHarmony but have only just heard about OK Cupid.

    Any thoughts or advice would be very welcome.

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    NEvans [sign in to see picture]
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    I personally really think it depends on what you are looking for. I find that subscription sites have more serious members that are looking for more long term relationships. I find that free ones often attract people that just want casual sex.

    I met my partner 5 years ago on a dating site and wouldnt change it for the world, it can definatley be a life changer!

    If you do go ahead please do be careful when meeting people. Good luck! :)

    X

    1439326929
    Lovehoney - Nadia [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi sassymel! Ages ago I used to be on OK Cupid and it was awful. You get bombarded with explicit messages from guys who are just interested in a moment of online fun. I never had any luck finding someone willing to just chat and get to know one another.

    Sites you have to pay for tend to weed out those who just want quick fun. If you have to pay for access, you will probably be more serious about finding a suitable partner.

    I hope others can add their experiences.

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    tider [sign in to see picture]
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    i have been on zoosk match find your date and over 40 run in to3 con men 1 who wanted to make me number 11 he had a std and one who seenseems to be ok so far be very aware i have been call names including fat ugly stupid and many others be thick skins but good luck

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    MJminx [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks ladies. I know that dating sites can work as my best mate met her current husband on an online dating site and they have been together for 10 years now.

    but as you say there are a lot of no-marks out there.

    any suggestions about which sites are worth a subscription?

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    NEvans [sign in to see picture]
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    sassymel wrote:

    thanks ladies. I know that dating sites can work as my best mate met her current husband on an online dating site and they have been together for 10 years now.

    but as you say there are a lot of no-marks out there.

    any suggestions about which sites are worth a subscription?

    My partners Dad is on Zoosk and thinks its great

    X

    1439374559
    kinkytaffs [sign in to see picture]
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    Myself and the wife met on "Oasis", which is free. As others have said, be careful there are lots of players on these sites. Always meet in a public place should you hit it off with anyone. Good luck

    1439375596
    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have never used any UK dating site and I am not sure if these are any different from those we have over here but I admit I my experience with online dating is... erm.... not great. I am a rather shy and not very confident person, being immensely ashamed of my fat, horrible body, and over the years I have received loads of messages that have made me feel even more self-conscious and insecure. Many men seem to enjoy sending me messages like "you may have loads of hobbies, you may be well-red and reasonably bright but you are simply too unattractive to make a good partner, you should start exercising and when you have lost about 20kg, someone might even want you"... Is there anything more painful for someone like me who has already lost almost 50kg and who keeps on trying everything to become more " dateable "? I am not sure there is... The world of online dating can be pretty cruel and depressing, be sure you are prepared to receive all sorts of hurtful or downright offensive messages before you join a dating website...

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    MJminx [sign in to see picture]
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    Briona... that is absolutely horrible. I must admit I do not feel attractive most of the time as I am overweight - I have lost 4 stone but am struggling to shed the rest that I still need to lose.

    I just don't know how else to go about possibly meeting new people.

    I hope things work out for you Briona and I will post an update if I decide to try online dating.

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    william1987 [sign in to see picture]
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    Plenty of fish is another free dating site

    1439424693
    tider [sign in to see picture]
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    Briona87 wrote:

    I have never used any UK dating site and I am not sure if these are any different from those we have over here but I admit I my experience with online dating is... erm.... not great. I am a rather shy and not very confident person, being immensely ashamed of my fat, horrible body, and over the years I have received loads of messages that have made me feel even more self-conscious and insecure. Many men seem to enjoy sending me messages like "you may have loads of hobbies, you may be well-red and reasonably bright but you are simply too unattractive to make a good partner, you should start exercising and when you have lost about 20kg, someone might even want you"... Is there anything more painful for someone like me who has already lost almost 50kg and who keeps on trying everything to become more " dateable "? I am not sure there is... The world of online dating can be pretty cruel and depressing, be sure you are prepared to receive all sorts of hurtful or downright offensive messages before you join a dating website...

    yes i have had the same some can be a dicks and cons i live in hope

    1439483621
    Lovehoney - Nadia [sign in to see picture]
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    Briona87 wrote:

    I have never used any UK dating site and I am not sure if these are any different from those we have over here but I admit I my experience with online dating is... erm.... not great. I am a rather shy and not very confident person, being immensely ashamed of my fat, horrible body, and over the years I have received loads of messages that have made me feel even more self-conscious and insecure. Many men seem to enjoy sending me messages like "you may have loads of hobbies, you may be well-red and reasonably bright but you are simply too unattractive to make a good partner, you should start exercising and when you have lost about 20kg, someone might even want you"... Is there anything more painful for someone like me who has already lost almost 50kg and who keeps on trying everything to become more " dateable "? I am not sure there is... The world of online dating can be pretty cruel and depressing, be sure you are prepared to receive all sorts of hurtful or downright offensive messages before you join a dating website...

    Those are horrible people. :(

    I can assure you from personal experience that there are men and women out there who truly love others for who they are, not what they look like. They are hard to find, that's true, but they do exist. My body is like yours and it is hurtful to hear such comments. The good thing is knowing that those horrible men won't be happy in the long run, no matter who they're with.

    1439545320
    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    sassymel wrote:

    Briona... that is absolutely horrible. I must admit I do not feel attractive most of the time as I am overweight - I have lost 4 stone but am struggling to shed the rest that I still need to lose.

    I just don't know how else to go about possibly meeting new people.

    I hope things work out for you Briona and I will post an update if I decide to try online dating.

    I know that what I wrote was not really encouraging, I just wanted to point out that the realm of dating sites can feel like a jungle full of obnoxious, stupid (and sometimes even dangerous) animals... And when you are not exactly beautiful and slim, the amount of negative comments may make you really miserable.

    1439545681
    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Nadia wrote:

    Briona87 wrote:

    I have never used any UK dating site and I am not sure if these are any different from those we have over here but I admit I my experience with online dating is... erm.... not great. I am a rather shy and not very confident person, being immensely ashamed of my fat, horrible body, and over the years I have received loads of messages that have made me feel even more self-conscious and insecure. Many men seem to enjoy sending me messages like "you may have loads of hobbies, you may be well-red and reasonably bright but you are simply too unattractive to make a good partner, you should start exercising and when you have lost about 20kg, someone might even want you"... Is there anything more painful for someone like me who has already lost almost 50kg and who keeps on trying everything to become more " dateable "? I am not sure there is... The world of online dating can be pretty cruel and depressing, be sure you are prepared to receive all sorts of hurtful or downright offensive messages before you join a dating website...

    Those are horrible people. :(

    I can assure you from personal experience that there are men and women out there who truly love others for who they are, not what they look like. They are hard to find, that's true, but they do exist. My body is like yours and it is hurtful to hear such comments. The good thing is knowing that those horrible men won't be happy in the long run, no matter who they're with.

    I honestly wish you were right, Nadia, but I admit I have kind of given up. I am 28 and I have never ever met anyone who would want to date me, I never even got a single kiss or the slightest caress, I never went for a walk with anyone... It is not exactly a joyful life when you always wake up alone (and lonely) and when you (whenever you go out) keep on seeing all those couples... Horrible men who enjoy calling you names may not be happy in the long run, but I sort of think I am never going to be happy, either.

    Thanks for your kind words, though!

    1439566639
    Lovehoney - Nadia [sign in to see picture]
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    Briona87 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Nadia wrote:

    Briona87 wrote:

    I have never used any UK dating site and I am not sure if these are any different from those we have over here but I admit I my experience with online dating is... erm.... not great. I am a rather shy and not very confident person, being immensely ashamed of my fat, horrible body, and over the years I have received loads of messages that have made me feel even more self-conscious and insecure. Many men seem to enjoy sending me messages like "you may have loads of hobbies, you may be well-red and reasonably bright but you are simply too unattractive to make a good partner, you should start exercising and when you have lost about 20kg, someone might even want you"... Is there anything more painful for someone like me who has already lost almost 50kg and who keeps on trying everything to become more " dateable "? I am not sure there is... The world of online dating can be pretty cruel and depressing, be sure you are prepared to receive all sorts of hurtful or downright offensive messages before you join a dating website...

    Those are horrible people. :(

    I can assure you from personal experience that there are men and women out there who truly love others for who they are, not what they look like. They are hard to find, that's true, but they do exist. My body is like yours and it is hurtful to hear such comments. The good thing is knowing that those horrible men won't be happy in the long run, no matter who they're with.

    I honestly wish you were right, Nadia, but I admit I have kind of given up. I am 28 and I have never ever met anyone who would want to date me, I never even got a single kiss or the slightest caress, I never went for a walk with anyone... It is not exactly a joyful life when you always wake up alone (and lonely) and when you (whenever you go out) keep on seeing all those couples... Horrible men who enjoy calling you names may not be happy in the long run, but I sort of think I am never going to be happy, either.

    Thanks for your kind words, though!

    You're very welcome! Like you I had to wait a long time. In the end I found someone when I wasn't looking. I wish you all the best and hope you find the right person, too.

    1439567777
    englishrose [sign in to see picture]
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    It might be worthwhile looking for sites that also aim to match people to interests - there are various ones for religious people, those into tattoos, bikes, animals (not in a sexual way, I hasten to add!) etc etc I would imagine people on those are likely to be less superficial and judgemental: there *are* sites aimed at heavier ladies (of which I am one) but I am not certain I like the thought of someone with a fat fetish idealising me for my wobbly tummy :-/

    Like many of you, I have received insults and abuse on dating sites: I don't actually bother any more, for a variety of reasons - but none of them because I am fat. Now I just try to remember that people who judge on a picture, and feel the need to send abuse to its owner, are sad, superficial individuals. I recently went to a wedding abroad where I was inundated with people telling me (gosh, you'd be so beautiful if you weren't fat" - do the same people tell slim people with plain faces that they'd be just stunning if they hadn't been hit with the ugly stick?! Sadly, society feels open and able to comment on weight like nothing else - which is why, for those of us on the chunkier side, it's perhaps better to focus on clubs and activities, so that we might meet someone in person, who can see us for who we really are, rather than just a picture,

    For anyone going the dating site route, though, I agree that it is better to subscribe, to weed out more of the wasters, chancers and cheaters: anecdotally, match.com is OK - I have been to a couple of weddings where the couple met on there - as are religion-specific ones (ditto) but personally, I fancy MuddyMatches :-)

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    Kinkycornishlad [sign in to see picture]
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    I met my partner on plenty of fish me and her have been together for nearly four years I used to be on different ones as others have said watch out there are players on there but also a lot of genuine people. Love yourself for who u are every one deserves to be loved and I'm sure u have a lot of great qualities it should not matter if u are overweight its way is inside that counts I no plenty of slim so called good looking girls that are total idiots and have no personality.

    As I say give it ago and take it steady the right person will come along

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    megan.d [sign in to see picture]
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    i've had a lot of bonks from POF xx

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    I met my current fella on plenty of fish...was fishing for a year... And had a bit of fun and a few dates with some nibblers... But was able to throw those that were not my type back into the sea so to speak!!
    Admittedly.. I ended up paying 3 months for the upgraded version..which gave me more options to control my contacts to others... And this is how I managed to favourite my current man...and he contacted me back.
    This was a few weeks before Easter this year....and we were able to profile all of our interests and likes/ dislikes and this is were we discovered we were pretty much ticking every box for each other...
    We met 2 weeks after chatting...and we have been inseparable since😊
    We have met each other and found the soulmate we should have had years ago...and the sex ain't bad either!!😋
    So almost 5 months on...we are looking to move in together here..kids from both sides get on loads...and it is like one fab big family when we are all together.

    So I highly recommend pof...

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    Angus Ncle [sign in to see picture]
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    I tried a few pay for member ship sites. . But without any success. Many are same company with different names, and offer you reduced for sister web site.
    Found best are on the free ones, but took time to meet and socialise to really get to know someone. Remember profile done by them self and not necessarily accurate from your perspective. Had several nice relationships / friends. Met lovely lady through a free site, and decided worth trying for life relationship . now married :-)

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