• Virgin and Vibrator use

    1439299120
    GameofThronesfan99 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 11 Aug 2015

    I recently bought my first vibrator from LH, but its quite uncomforable and slightly painful when I use it, even when I use lube. The vibe I brought wasn't big, and I chose a vibe which past users said it was a good toy for first time users.

    Do you have any tips to make it less uncomfrotable to use

    1439301403
    Spoonerism [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 343
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2011

    You need to make sure you are relaxed enough before attempting to insert a toy. Try some clitoral stimulation for a few minutes and see if that helps :)

    1439308718
    J&M86 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 8 Jul 2015

    As spoonerism said, you need to be relaxed. Clit stimulation is the best way to start so that you're ready to insert the toy. I get most of my orgasms through clit stimulation although I have just bought a g-spot vibrator so will see what results I get with that. Lots of lube, touching and watching porn usually gets me going :-)

    1439319740

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1479
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2013

    Penetration (with toys or anything else!) should never ever be painful! Please don’t insist if it is, and maybe see your gynaecologist about it.

    Rule number one: give yourself time and be properly aroused before even going there.

    Rule number two: lubricate (natural lubrication hardly ever is enough with toys, so use lube as much as you need to).

    Rule number three: feel comfortable, try different angles and positions.

    The way I interpret the phrase "good for beginners" in reviews is: "beginners with toys", and not just "beginners with sex altogether". But even if a toy is thought to be ok for a virgin, it very much depends on how you are made personally. Your size, your built-in angles, your fitness level, and loads of other stuff might influence which toys work for you and which don’t.

    If the toy you bought now doesn’t work, maybe try a smaller/thinner/shorter one with different makes and shapes. Remember Lovehoney’s excellent return policy and keep experimenting! Most importantly, have fun!

    (PS: I will just put it out there, you do know you will break your hymen with penetration and, as some see it, you will not be a virgin anymore?)

    1439321182
    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 830
    • Joined: 9 Aug 2010

    i agree with everyone else. relax relax and play a bit before you go right in

    1439322615
    NEvans [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 614
    • Joined: 2 Nov 2014

    As other have said relaxing definatley helps. You could try to use it without the virations on at first as when i first used a vibrator i found it took a little while to get use to them

    X

    1439326874
    fantasia fairy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1171
    • Joined: 20 Oct 2014

    Hun i get where your coming from but i could not agree more with the comments!

    Clit vibe is really important, relax and if need be buy a slimmer toy first just to help you get used to sensation like that.

    Glass is normally nice and slim, the smooth g-spot dildo is good :)

    1439329295
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1212
    • Joined: 12 Nov 2014

    era wrote:

    Penetration (with toys or anything else!) should never ever be painful! Please don’t insist if it is, and maybe see your gynaecologist about it.

    Rule number one: give yourself time and be properly aroused before even going there.

    Rule number two: lubricate (natural lubrication hardly ever is enough with toys, so use lube as much as you need to).

    Rule number three: feel comfortable, try different angles and positions.

    The way I interpret the phrase "good for beginners" in reviews is: "beginners with toys", and not just "beginners with sex altogether". But even if a toy is thought to be ok for a virgin, it very much depends on how you are made personally. Your size, your built-in angles, your fitness level, and loads of other stuff might influence which toys work for you and which don’t.

    If the toy you bought now doesn’t work, maybe try a smaller/thinner/shorter one with different makes and shapes. Remember Lovehoney’s excellent return policy and keep experimenting! Most importantly, have fun!

    (PS: I will just put it out there, you do know you will break your hymen with penetration and, as some see it, you will not be a virgin anymore?)

    Ps thats not the case anymore. Some women have broken their hymens at a younger age through exercise. Some women can use slim vibrators and stretch the hymen (thats probably rare but it can happen with tampons).

    Who sees breaking a hymen as not being a virgin anymore? Theres absolutely no link between the two and anyone who would look down on someone for not being a virgin because they didnt bleed the first time isnt worth being with!

    1439329743
    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 830
    • Joined: 9 Aug 2010

    era wrote:

    Rule number three: feel comfortable, try different angles and positions.

    agree with this i cant use them lying on my back, i have to insert them as if i am on top

    1439335423

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1479
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2013

    JM88 wrote:

    era wrote:

    Penetration (with toys or anything else!) should never ever be painful! Please don’t insist if it is, and maybe see your gynaecologist about it.

    Rule number one: give yourself time and be properly aroused before even going there.

    Rule number two: lubricate (natural lubrication hardly ever is enough with toys, so use lube as much as you need to).

    Rule number three: feel comfortable, try different angles and positions.

    The way I interpret the phrase "good for beginners" in reviews is: "beginners with toys", and not just "beginners with sex altogether". But even if a toy is thought to be ok for a virgin, it very much depends on how you are made personally. Your size, your built-in angles, your fitness level, and loads of other stuff might influence which toys work for you and which don’t.

    If the toy you bought now doesn’t work, maybe try a smaller/thinner/shorter one with different makes and shapes. Remember Lovehoney’s excellent return policy and keep experimenting! Most importantly, have fun!

    (PS: I will just put it out there, you do know you will break your hymen with penetration and, as some see it, you will not be a virgin anymore?)

    Ps thats not the case anymore. Some women have broken their hymens at a younger age through exercise. Some women can use slim vibrators and stretch the hymen (thats probably rare but it can happen with tampons).

    Who sees breaking a hymen as not being a virgin anymore? Theres absolutely no link between the two and anyone who would look down on someone for not being a virgin because they didnt bleed the first time isnt worth being with!

    I hope you don't think I was trying to be judgmental or a bigot! I am everything but. I am an atheist and I lost my virginity *young* to a one night stand that developed into a relationship, I did not bleed at all (I have been using tampons) and I actually enjoyed it. But yes, many “traditional” (extremist?) religions and cultures, like Catholics (I was baptised and raised as one, so I should know), consider that an intact hymen is the only proof of virginity. I just thought a shy warning was due, that’s all (because we cannot possibly know who is behind the nick that put the question online, and if the nick is indicative of the age, we are all in trouble).

    However, if we don’t draw the line on physical actions (such as the rupture of the hymen or the very first penetration by any means), what do we consider as losing your virginity? You cannot possibly say it’s penetration by a penis for a girl or into a vagina for a boy, because then you’d have to deal with the LG community, or that it’s ‘having sex’ as also oral is considered ‘having sex’ but most teenagers practicing it would tell you they are still virgins, so the way I see it, either we stick to its traditional meaning, either we put everyone together at a round table to decide the appropriate meaning of the word in our days. Or we just eliminate it altogether as an obsolete term. Maybe this would be best. :)

    1439336298
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1212
    • Joined: 12 Nov 2014

    Sorry era if i came across wrong! It just sounded like someone emphasising the link between hymens and virginity that i read wrongly. Im sure you arent judgemental and i apologise if i made it seem like i was targetting you.

    personally for me i would class a virgin as someone who hasnt had penetrative sex, but i say that as a straight woman. I dont think its fair of me to say what i think classifies as losing your virginity if you are gay/transexual etc.

    i just dont like the link between a broken hymen being a sign of virginity and people being afraid to use a sex toy, or even tampons! In fear that it will make them not classed as a virgin. I find it especially the case when i consider that i started my periods at 11, so if i had used tampons i might have been classed as having lost my virginity whilst at that age and i find that a horrible thought!

    1439342033
    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1435
    • Joined: 4 Jan 2015

    I used to get called a liar when I said I was a virgin cause I started using tampons at 14 and the girls were like you can't be a virgin if you're using a tampon, you're a slut etc. Lol so ridiculous

    1439367202
    J&M86 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 8 Jul 2015

    it's stupid, one of mmy friends is a keen horse rider and it broke her hymen and the amount of grief she got from her (much older) boyfriend because he couldn't feel her hymen. He assumed she had lied about her virginity!

    1444032029
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2825
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    Try using the vibratory around the outside first to relax, if you're nervous it will be much more difficult. Don't try and force it in, if you can only get a cm in, leave it in and relax, then try and go further.

    Whether you have a hymen or not, your first time can be uncomfortable and even painful if you don't take it slow, because your body is trying to adapt to this intrusion, your muscles need to learn how to relax and such.

    dont push yourself.

    on the subject of virginity, an intact hymen has nothing to do with it, nor does penetrative sex (are all lesbians virgins) virginity is either sexual experience with another person, or, whatever you want it to be, everyone has different ways of deciding, people may have had the same experiences but one sees them self as a Virgin and the other doesn't, so what, what does it matter to anyone else, I've said this before but we don't have words for people who've never done horse riding, or eaten ice cream, so why one for sex? To me it's an obsolete term.

    1444033014
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5884
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Young and fun95 wrote: on the subject of virginity, an intact hymen has nothing to do with it, nor does penetrative sex (are all lesbians virgins) virginity is either sexual experience with another person, or, whatever you want it to be, everyone has different ways of deciding, people may have had the same experiences but one sees them self as a Virgin and the other doesn't, so what, what does it matter to anyone else, I've said this before but we don't have words for people who've never done horse riding, or eaten ice cream, so why one for sex? To me it's an obsolete term.

    Nicely said πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ

    1444066937
    VR [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 248
    • Joined: 11 Jul 2015

    I was a horse rider and used tampons, but it still hurt like hell my first time. To add insult to injury, my ex called me a slut because I didn't bleed. When I got home, I went to the loo and bled like a pig! Not a good experience.

    Back on topic, I have a problem with vibrators the same size as my OH (and smaller), but have no problem with sex. I had a Rampant Rabbit bought for me many years ago and have never been able to use it (though turned around, the ears were fun). I'm now looking at this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25974 as it's much smaller and softer than my old one.

    Good luck with whatever you choose.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.