• A friend buying expensive gifts?

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a male friend who I've known about 2 or 3 years now and he's generously offering to buy me

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30319 and this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22241 that I want off my wishlist.

    The only things he wants in return is videos of me using them, which I'm fine with and I've done them before when he's bought me other things off my wishlist. My question is, do you think it's ok for him to do that? Or do you think he shouldn't do it? Just curious of other peoples opinions

    1437924249
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Umm only you really know if your comfortable with that sort of arrangement but once you give a video to someone you never know what they are going to do with it. Are you ok with others viewing? It being posted somewhere?

    1437924331
    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    Umm only you really know if your comfortable with that sort of arrangement but once you give a video to someone you never know what they are going to do with it. Are you ok with others viewing? It being posted somewhere?

    Actually yeah I'm fine with it if he was to do it because my face is never in the videos

    1437924477
    Cuddlekins [sign in to see picture]
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    Once a video is made it can't be unmade as such so if you two every stop being friends that video could be on the net for millions to see.

    He could even send it to your family and friends if things between you every go bad. There's plenty of stories out there of this happening do you really want to be one of them?

    1437924575
    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    Cuddlekins wrote:

    Once a video is made it can't be unmade as such so if you two every stop being friends that video could be on the net for millions to see.

    He could even send it to your family and friends if things between you every go bad. There's plenty of stories out there of this happening do you really want to be one of them?

    No but how would he send it to my family? He doesn't even know my last name

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    stephiski [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a friend who sometimes gets me a love honey gift voucher to cheer me up. He does not pressure me to show him what i purchased either on me or in use he leaves it down to my choice.
    After having been in a dreadful situation of photos being posted online of me and recognisable ones as well and this was by a guy i was about to start a relationship with. I found out it happened after i moved in with him and it has caused such issues with media for me. So honestly it is your choice if you trust him and more than happy with it but i am the kind of person that takes videos for the guy and shows him in person. A safety precaution i put in place for myself because the way i see it... if a video or explicit photos are only on my phone its only me who has access at the end of the day. Sorry if i ranted on x

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    stephiski wrote:

    I have a friend who sometimes gets me a love honey gift voucher to cheer me up. He does not pressure me to show him what i purchased either on me or in use he leaves it down to my choice.
    After having been in a dreadful situation of photos being posted online of me and recognisable ones as well and this was by a guy i was about to start a relationship with. I found out it happened after i moved in with him and it has caused such issues with media for me. So honestly it is your choice if you trust him and more than happy with it but i am the kind of person that takes videos for the guy and shows him in person. A safety precaution i put in place for myself because the way i see it... if a video or explicit photos are only on my phone its only me who has access at the end of the day. Sorry if i ranted on x

    No that's fine, I see where you're coming from. To be honest, I've given him videos in the past anyway and none of them have my face in them and I do trust him. He doesn't pressure me to do anything and I think giving him videos of me using the toys he buys me is a pretty fair deal

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    You've known him 2/3 years, you've done it before and it clearly hasn't come back to bite you, you are consenting to do it rather than being guilted into doing it, I don't really see a problem with it. It's a surprisingly common arrangement between people online.

    He's getting something out of it too at the end of the day, so why shouldn't he do it?

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    [suspended user]

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    I think it is entirely up for you to decide and not for us to judge. We cannot possibly know the nature of said "friendship", his status and/or reasons or yours. There are lots of variables to consider in such a dynamic (his relationship status, your relationship status, level of trust, risk of exposure, and the way the agreement is handled between the two of you) and there is no black and white answer.

    If you are truly friends, or friends with benefits, and both of you do whatever you choose to be doing for mutual fun and completely free of pressure AND without hurting third parties (knowingly or unknowingly), than I see no harm. Otherwise it just sounds to me like a sexual trade (he buys you stuff, you repay with sexual favours). I’m not saying there is anything wrong with prostitution, I’m not reasonably against it mind you, I just think that it should always be a free choice of the person doing it, and never a result of any kind of pressure (whether economical, physical or emotional). So is his gesture of buying you material goods in exchange for sexual favours hurting anyone (you included), or not? This should be a simple yes/no question that should also answer your question whether it is ok for him to do it or not.

    Again, we don’t have enough information on the nature of this little agreement you have, but I’m just going to put it out there: you could also potentially be exploited (do you trust him with your videos should you not want anyone else to see them?).

    Edit: when I started writing there wasn't any other comment on yet... Others have expressed my thought already and some of my questions were answered. I still think the most important question is to be answered: is he hurting anyone or not? Obviously you don't seem to consider yourself hurt. Does anyone else in his life (or would anyone else if he/she would know)?

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    era wrote:

    I think it is entirely up for you to decide and not for us to judge. We cannot possibly know the nature of said "friendship", his status and/or reasons or yours. There are lots of variables to consider in such a dynamic (his relationship status, your relationship status, level of trust, risk of exposure, and the way the agreement is handled between the two of you) and there is no black and white answer.

    If you are truly friends, or friends with benefits, and both of you do whatever you choose to be doing for mutual fun and completely free of pressure AND without hurting third parties (knowingly or unknowingly), than I see no harm. Otherwise it just sounds to me like a sexual trade (he buys you stuff, you repay with sexual favours). I’m not saying there is anything wrong with prostitution, I’m not reasonably against it mind you, I just think that it should always be a free choice of the person doing it, and never a result of any kind of pressure (whether economical, physical or emotional). So is his gesture of buying you material goods in exchange for sexual favours hurting anyone (you included), or not? This should be a simple yes/no question that should also answer your question whether it is ok for him to do it or not.

    Again, we don’t have enough information on the nature of this little agreement you have, but I’m just going to put it out there: you could also potentially be exploited (do you trust him with your videos should you not want anyone else to see them?).

    Well we are friends but have interest in each other, only reason we aren't in a relationship is because he lives a bit too far away from me. I'm single and as far as I'm aware, so is he. I'm not getting hurt, I enjoy giving him videos and as far as I know, no one else is getting hurt :)

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    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    I was going to say that theres no reason why you shouldnt do it, but since you started a thread asking if its ok then you must have doubts so maybe its not a good idea?

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    JM88 wrote:

    I was going to say that theres no reason why you shouldnt do it, but since you started a thread asking if its ok then you must have doubts so maybe its not a good idea?

    I don't necessarily have doubts, just curious as to what people think about it

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    Wildcherry [sign in to see picture]
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    It sounds like from your posts that you have already made your mind up what your going to do really.

    I am always wary of things like this and have plenty of offers for toys, money and underwear in the past (never would dream of accepting), I guess it all depends that if youre comfortable with the situation and are certain it is not going to come back and bite you in the butt in the future.

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    If you're comfortable with that arrangement then it's totally your choice, as long as you don't feel guilted or manipulated into doing anything you don't want to. Keeping your face out of the videos is wise, make sure there's nothing else in the frame which could be used to identify you either (I.e. Tattoos, surroundings etc).

    As for me, I've sent videos and pictures to my OH, but I've never done it for anyone I haven't been in a relationship with. I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing the sort of thing you're considering, but we all have different boundaries when it comes to that stuff, as long as you're being safe :)

    I once knew an old lady who used to give blow jobs to her married neighbour in return for him fixing things around the house for her, because she was retired and couldn't afford to pay people to do it. At first I was really concerned and thought she was being abused, but it turned out that she was perfectly happy with that arrangement and enjoyed doing it! So each to their own I guess :P

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo wrote:

    If you're comfortable with that arrangement then it's totally your choice, as long as you don't feel guilted or manipulated into doing anything you don't want to. Keeping your face out of the videos is wise, make sure there's nothing else in the frame which could be used to identify you either (I.e. Tattoos, surroundings etc).

    As for me, I've sent videos and pictures to my OH, but I've never done it for anyone I haven't been in a relationship with. I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing the sort of thing you're considering, but we all have different boundaries when it comes to that stuff, as long as you're being safe :)

    I once knew an old lady who used to give blow jobs to her married neighbour in return for him fixing things around the house for her, because she was retired and couldn't afford to pay people to do it. At first I was really concerned and thought she was being abused, but it turned out that she was perfectly happy with that arrangement and enjoyed doing it! So each to their own I guess :P

    Haha props to the old lady

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    I just wish she wasn't doing it with a married man though! She really didn't seem to care about that...

    But doesn't sound as if that's the case with your guy (hopefully!) x

    1437931065
    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo wrote:

    I just wish she wasn't doing it with a married man though! She really didn't seem to care about that...

    But doesn't sound as if that's the case with your guy (hopefully!) x

    Well he isn't married and as far as I know, doesn't have a girlfriend either. I wouldn't do it if that was the case

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    myghost [sign in to see picture]
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    I think what you want people to tell you is that it's ok for him to buy you expensive stuff because you really want these expensive things and are willing to do sexual favours in exchange and telling you otherwise wont make you change your mind.

    it's personally not something i'd do i wouldn't want video's leaking on the net face in shot or not if things went sour in the deal

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    fairehlights [sign in to see picture]
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    Heh, at least you know the guy :P

    I do cam stuff, and sometimes rather than tipping people buy me stuff, and in return I make them videos of me using it.

    At the end of the day, there isn't anything shameful about it if you're consenting, so so what if it shows up anywhere? Like, yeah you'd be pissed, but eh?
    That you're protecting yourself is the main thing, and you get nice shiny things out of it! c:

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    fairehlights wrote:

    Heh, at least you know the guy :P

    I do cam stuff, and sometimes rather than tipping people buy me stuff, and in return I make them videos of me using it.

    At the end of the day, there isn't anything shameful about it if you're consenting, so so what if it shows up anywhere? Like, yeah you'd be pissed, but eh?
    That you're protecting yourself is the main thing, and you get nice shiny things out of it! c:

    Haha well I would be pissed at first but not really that much since no one would know it's me and yeah getting nice stuff is a bonus but I do like giving vids and knowing that the person is getting off to me lol

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