• Guys who refuse to wear condoms

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    Talia [sign in to see picture]
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    aaroncoughlin wrote:

    ...condoms feel horribly slimey and just make me cringe. ...

    If that's the problem, the solution couldn't be easier: Get unlubricated (= dry) condoms. Like Sico Dry - available on the internet (Amazon and Ebay). I have them for use with silicone toys and they feel not slimey at all - they are powdered with corn starch to stop the latex from sticking together.

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    aaroncoughlin [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah but I would need some sort of lube for having anal sex so it'll probably still go slimey and rubbery won't they? Wish there was another method of protection, I'd rather use clingfilm 😂

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    Talia [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, in my experience sex does get slippery (sounds better, doesn't it) sooner or later...

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    aaroncoughlin wrote:

    Wish there was another method of protection, I'd rather use clingfilm 😂

    Made me laugh 😂

    If you're alone right now it doesn't really matter but when you next have a partner please reconsider (or try non lubricated condoms) as you don't want to end up with a nasty STI! It's not being said because it's 'not socially acceptable' people are just concerned for your health xx

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    Dali256 [sign in to see picture]
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    aaroncoughlin wrote:

    lmh95 wrote:

    aaroncoughlin wrote:

    Don't judge me first of all. But genuinely I get freaked out my condoms, I can't even touch the packet. I wouldn't say it's a phobia but it's like nails down a chalkboard or the feel of a sponge it just makes me feel uncomfortable and not turned on at all because I get anxious etc. Being a gay guy, I'm apparently at more risk of getting hiv, I have only had penetrative sex twice. I would prefer to compromise by allowing a guy to fuck me then pull out and shoot anywhere on me before washing myself out. I know I'm taking a risk especially when I'm not in a relationship but I haven't had anal sex in about two years or more. It doesn't help the fact I have a fettish about being cummed in and licked out etc although I've managed to hold any temptation back. But yeah I would say using protection is essential but don't judge all guys, some genuinely have a bit of a fear of them for many reasons. It's not always straightforward laziness x

    Could you get the guy you are with to deal with taking off the cellophane and opening the box and putting on the condom while you look away? If it's the feel of the condom that you can't cope with then could you try different brands or textures? Durex do a real feel type and there's lots of others to try.

    It seems too big a risk to gamble with catching HIV as the guy you're with ( I've read online before but may be wrong) could have it for a while before testing positive and then it may be too late and you have already slept together and caught it from him and even worse passed it onto someone else.

    Maybe try a hypnotherapy session and ask if they can help you overcome your fear. It's worth a try and with sex I always think better safe than sorry.

    Can't deal being near a box of them even the packaging, condoms feel horribly slimey and just make me cringe. Couldn't reach an erection because it's off putting. Not with anyone atm nor had sex with anyone for a few years so I'm not putting anyone at any danger. As I said if I got with someone I wouldn't do something they didn't want to comply with tbh. My friends find it amusing freaking me out with condoms cause they don't understand what goes through my mind being near them. There's no hypnotherapists near me and doubt they would help with a condom phobia nor would i want to embarrass myself. I guess it's each to their own but as I said there's dangers all around us in this world, I could drop down dead tomorrow but that's life. Totally understand that it's not a socially acceptable thing these days but everyone's different and it's not one size fits all, pardon the pun. I respect and appreciate your advice though and see where you're coming from. Thankyou :)

    CBT and exposure therapy is incredibly effective for phobias like this. Its easy enough to learn from a book or a website and do it yourself. You just have to want to do it.

    Is not about being "PC" its about mitigating a massive risk for you and others.

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    Omnom95 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would never refuse to wear a condom. I actually wouldn't consider having sex with a new partner without using a condom unless we had known each other well for a long time before. Even then I would still consider it and she asked me to use a condom I wouldn't have a problem with that.

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    Elle & em [sign in to see picture]
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    No condom = no sex , can't believe some people are against using them , there are so many terrible diseases out there . Xx

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    aaroncoughlin [sign in to see picture]
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    Talia wrote:

    Well, in my experience sex does get slippery (sounds better, doesn't it) sooner or later...

    Lol yup but that's a different type of slippy to me anyway

    NatandTom wrote:

    aaroncoughlin wrote:

    Wish there was another method of protection, I'd rather use clingfilm 😂

    Made me laugh 😂

    If you're alone right now it doesn't really matter but when you next have a partner please reconsider (or try non lubricated condoms) as you don't want to end up with a nasty STI! It's not being said because it's 'not socially acceptable' people are just concerned for your health xx

    Haha its true though, least clingfilm doesn't feel and look weird haha. Yeah perhaps, but people can catch infections via oral sex but people think they don't need to wear protection tbh so there's risks all around us unfortunately. But thankyou for the advice I know you just have good intentions, just not something im ready to approach although It's unlikely I'll be having sex or meeting someone for the foreseeable future.
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    Johnnyfullofcum [sign in to see picture]
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    Never had sex without a condom on.

    Might do if I trusted the other person but I've never crossed that bridge.

    Don't feel uncomfy wearing one as long as its not a small one.

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    This might be an old thread but I think it's an important one. Years ago "are you clean?" used to be a standard question before sex and "yes" was all it took for me to agree to not use condoms. I was young, stupid and lacked the confidence to say no.

    I've had people basically insinuate that I must be a slut (in the bad sense of the word, not in the empowered sense) and have an STI because I want to use condoms. The most ridiculous thing is that they are far more likely to if they don't use condoms!

    I can't say I never don't use condoms. I drink too much and that tends to be when the issue arises, but it's now been well over a year since the last time I messed up. I think it's also important to encourage people to be safe but not slag them off if they find it difficult. There are lots of reasons people don't take care of their health, including their sexual health. That's a totally different thing to refusing to use condoms though.

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    Johnnyfullofcum [sign in to see picture]
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    Friday13 wrote:

    This might be an old thread but I think it's an important one. Years ago "are you clean?" used to be a standard question before sex and "yes" was all it took for me to agree to not use condoms. I was young, stupid and lacked the confidence to say no.

    I've had people basically insinuate that I must be a slut (in the bad sense of the word, not in the empowered sense) and have an STI because I want to use condoms. The most ridiculous thing is that they are far more likely to if they don't use condoms!

    I can't say I never don't use condoms. I drink too much and that tends to be when the issue arises, but it's now been well over a year since the last time I messed up. I think it's also important to encourage people to be safe but not slag them off if they find it difficult. There are lots of reasons people don't take care of their health, including their sexual health. That's a totally different thing to refusing to use condoms though.

    I've had people refuse because I want to wear one for my safety and for their safety from pregnancy. It's a ridiculous world sometimes when you're just trying to be the good guy you get labelled as bad.
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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    I actually made the decision to end a past relationship due in part to the girl preferring sex without a condom. She fell pregnant after one month after getting her dates wrong. She told me she was on the implant when in fact it had already expired before we'd even slept together. At first she said she wanted to keep it, but in the end she went to the docs and ended the pregnancy. I probably should've run a mile when she told me she really wanted a baby with me (after 8wks dating), but I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't completely mad, and persisted with the relationship - I was in a bad place mentally at the time and couldn't see the woods for the trees.

    In the space of a 4 month relationship she went for the morning-after pill twice more; both times taking advantage of me whilst in the throes of passion, asking me to take the condom off when we were already having sex. I was a complete idiot to allow it. Like I say, I was in a bad place, was pretty drunk both times, and accepted her at face value when she said she was ovulating and therefore wasn't going to get pregnant. Shouldn't defend myself though, it was idiotic. But for her it was as though she saw it as a viable method of contraception.

    The final straw for me (as in, I finally came to my senses), came when we were having sex, her on top, me tied to the bed, and she climbed off, pulled my condom off, and climbed back on, without even asking.
    ! I ended it the following morning, and haven't seen her since.

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    Banannabelsplit [sign in to see picture]
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    In my experience no. While most people would prefer to have sex without one, most people I know know that they are a necessity, especially when you are with a new partner/aren't on birth control.

    But there was this one I knew guy who claimed condoms killed his erections. Since I never slept with him I have no idea if he was lying or not but it did sound very fishy.

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    honeybun91 [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow sex squid she sounds messed up 😳

    I think anyone who refuses to use a condom should be questioned about their intentions. I know people say it 'feels better' or they 'kill the mood' but so would an sti or unwanted pregnancy.

    You should only not use one with someone you trust and if someone refuses to use one the first time you have sex you should refuse to have sex with them 😶

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    Johnnyfullofcum [sign in to see picture]
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    honeybun91 wrote:

    Wow sex squid she sounds messed up 😳

    I think anyone who refuses to use a condom should be questioned about their intentions. I know people say it 'feels better' or they 'kill the mood' but so would an sti or unwanted pregnancy.

    You should only not use one with someone you trust and if someone refuses to use one the first time you have sex you should refuse to have sex with them 😶

    They don't kill the mood, they can be worked into the experience as part of the foreplay and can be completely fine. They don't make it feel worse either...I've had one split mid way through an ex being on top and riding a bit to rough. The feeling remained a constant throughout which is why I didn't notice it had split until she got off me, that's the one time I've gone without one and it wasn't by choice.
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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Guys who refuse to wear condoms......should be shot!

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    A guy I met at a party a few years ago promptly insisted that "he wasn't good at using condoms" and wanted to skip using one. How hard can it be...

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    I find it much more attractive when people are willing to put my sexual health first by wearing a condom, rather than complaining about it or throwing accusations/insuations around that I must have an STI for wanting to use one!

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    Caliente [sign in to see picture]
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    NatandTom wrote:

    I find it much more attractive when people are willing to put my sexual health first by wearing a condom, rather than complaining about it or throwing accusations/insuations around that I must have an STI for wanting to use one!

    Exactly! Sadly, I've only ever had one partner with whom there wasn't any conversation/debate about using condoms. I didn't have to say a word. When we started getting down to serious business he brought them out and put them to the side for if/when we needed them. And every time after that he had them, even though he knew I had my own. It was actually an enormous turn on knowing he was taking responsibility for both of our safety. I miss him. :(

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    Johnnyfullofcum [sign in to see picture]
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    Caliente wrote:

    NatandTom wrote:

    I find it much more attractive when people are willing to put my sexual health first by wearing a condom, rather than complaining about it or throwing accusations/insuations around that I must have an STI for wanting to use one!

    Exactly! Sadly, I've only ever had one partner with whom there wasn't any conversation/debate about using condoms. I didn't have to say a word. When we started getting down to serious business he brought them out and put them to the side for if/when we needed them. And every time after that he had them, even though he knew I had my own. It was actually an enormous turn on knowing he was taking responsibility for both of our safety. I miss him. :(

    There are others out there that will act this way. I always come prepared with my own supply in hand.

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