• Absence of Orgasms

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi everyone!

    So over the past few months I'm struggling to reach climax and it's really annoying. I used to be able to orgasm clitorally to the point where I'd be shaking and sweating, but recently it just goes? I get a really good build up with my vibe to just before the point of orgasm but then it just disappears.

    I don't know if anyone else has experienced this? Any advice is appreciated.

    Thanks everyone :)

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    NEvans [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello!

    I had this for a while after i gave birth. Personally for me i stopped using toys and used my hands instead.

    I found that this helped lots too http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26092 there are lots of other similar products that do the same thing. Eventually it just came back, relaxing helped me so much as well x

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm rubbish with my hands! I've ordered some new toys to hopefully get me going again, and I might try a different lube like you suggested. Thanks for replying!

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Are you masturbating too often perhaps ? I can sometimes find that I have trouble reaching orgasm if I'm ' at it ' too often...lol Maybe cut back a little on the number of times you play and also perhaps changing position may help ? x

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    I wish I was at it too often! I rarely get a chance to do anything 'cause my family are always in. Changing positions does help but I still can't get there. X

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    ZiggyStarbucks wrote:

    I wish I was at it too often! I rarely get a chance to do anything 'cause my family are always in. Changing positions does help but I still can't get there. X

    Are you using toys that you aren't familiar with?

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    No I'm using my trusty rabbit. x

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe it just isn't doing it for you anymore?

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe it isn't. I've ordered a mini wand and the Icicles glass tentacle dildo so I guess we'll see. Other than that I have no idea :(

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    I kind of think that sometimes when people use a certain toy, frequently, the body gets used to the way it feels and it doesn't have the same effect as it used to. I alternate between using my fingers and my bullet. You say you're crap with your hand but maybe practice from time to time?

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    Volbabe88 [sign in to see picture]
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    I was like this for a while and didn't orgasm for a month or too. I found too much pressure and too fast movements stopped me orgasming.

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    Kittycat102 wrote:

    I kind of think that sometimes when people use a certain toy, frequently, the body gets used to the way it feels and it doesn't have the same effect as it used to. I alternate between using my fingers and my bullet. You say you're crap with your hand but maybe practice from time to time?

    This is so true, well it is for me anyway. Maybe try using some clitoral stimulation gel and letting your fingers do the work for a while , after all practice makes perfect !

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    wildflower wrote:

    This is so true, well it is for me anyway. Maybe try using some clitoral stimulation gel and letting your fingers do the work for a while , after all practice makes perfect !

    I suppose I probably should try with my hands a bit more! I've got some enhancing gels on my wishlist so I'll give those a try. Thanks guys x

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    Kittycat102 [sign in to see picture]
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    ZiggyStarbucks wrote:

    wildflower wrote:

    This is so true, well it is for me anyway. Maybe try using some clitoral stimulation gel and letting your fingers do the work for a while , after all practice makes perfect !

    I suppose I probably should try with my hands a bit more! I've got some enhancing gels on my wishlist so I'll give those a try. Thanks guys x

    I think using gel with your fingers will most likely help you a lot so give it a try and give us an update :)

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I got this way with my "good old truty rabbit" about 6 months ago and did not realize I had basically burned the damn thing out. It was battery powered and I had it for A LONG time, it still buzzed and rotated but not near where it did in the beginning and it slowly lost power. I didn't notice it until the head stopped rotating so I order a replacement and POW, orgasmed like crazy all over again. The strength of the vibrations were a major factor for me.

    If this is not the case with your toy my other suggestion is to think about your mood / headspace when you are trying to orgasm. If your house is crazy with kids about you may be distracted and not feeling your mojo. Sometimes I literally dress myself up or play certain music to help me with that.

    Good luck!

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    I'll order some pleasure gel and update you all :)

    That's what I thought at first but my rabbit is only a few months old and I've only been able to use it a handful of times 'cause I never get a free house. Maybe I've just lost it. :/

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    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    I doubt youve 'just lost it' .. perhaps just misplaced it...

    Maybe forget about orgasms and masturbation for a while and focus on pleasuring yourself in other ways... book a massage and spa retreat if thats possible. Get a new outfit and enjoy a fancy dinner out or a night out with at the theatre. Perhaps some sexy new lingerie and build yourself up to playing and orgasming (kinda like foreplaying before the foreplay)

    Im sure new toys which you have ordered will also go a long way to helping out too - but as I said, never believe it is lost!!! just misplaced!

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a back massage fortnightly but I'll take any excuse for more TLC! I'm trying to enjoy myself and not stress about it too much.

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    Echo32B [sign in to see picture]
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    Me too never been able to get myself off at all with my hands although I get close it never happens, and even with toys 9/10 it builds as if I'm going to orgasm and just always slips away at the last moment, but never had the problem when having sex... Squirting is about all I can manage during solo play, but I was wondering if its pschological?

    Please let me know how you get on, glad I'm not alone in this!

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    ZiggyStarbucks [sign in to see picture]
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    I've never once orgasmed during sex or squirted. My boyfriend and I are still working on that one!

    I've found that when my depression or anxiety flares up it's especially difficult, so it may be psychological?

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