• fertility awareness as contraception?

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Is it a ball ache? I have the implant which I'll keep for another year., the full three years, then plan to have a baby, but then I don't want hormones for the rest of my life, don't like condoms and the only other option is surgical sterilisation. How much effort is monitoring your fertility and how long do you usually go without sex for?

    1434729699
    FlexyBexyXXX [sign in to see picture]
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    Instead of all that, why dont you look into the copper coil? No hormones and I think you can keep one for 5 years :) I've got a coil and honestly, it's a little embarassing having it popped in because I've never had a doctor all up in my business before - but I honestly don't feel a thing, ever.

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    Lovehoney - Sian [sign in to see picture]
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    If you plan to have a baby then you will have to get used to doctors being all up in your business

    1434730160
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    Take your ability to fall pregnant once you've finished the implant as a sign, if you fall pregnant straight away then you are clearly super fertile, use added protection. If it takes you 3 years then maybe abstinence during the peak period of fertility will work for you.

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    FlexyBexyXXX wrote:

    Instead of all that, why dont you look into the copper coil? No hormones and I think you can keep one for 5 years :) I've got a coil and honestly, it's a little embarassing having it popped in because I've never had a doctor all up in my business before - but I honestly don't feel a thing, ever.

    don't like the idea of the coil and OH is dead set against it. One of his exes got pregnant and lost the baby a fair few weeks in. I could be wrong but the action is to make the womb inhabitable, I just don't think I could cope with that :-/
    1434730736
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    If you plan to have a baby then you will have to get used to doctors being all up in your business

    this is by far my most dreaded part of pregnancy, I will end up killing a midwife! I would be requesting minimal examinations and if anyone touches me without asking first I will break their hand with my vagina lol
    1434731438
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    Could you come off the implant when its had its three years and then begin fertility awareness straight away?

    if you were planning a baby anyway then there wouldnt be much harm in trying to avoid pregnancy naturally, and if you do accidently become pregnant then it wouldnt be an issue as you wouldve been planning on having a baby anyway?

    but if you did fall pregnant then you would know that maybe its not a wise idea long term when you arent wanting more kids?

    1434732021
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    I am a FAM user and a huge advocate of it :) it's not much hassle at all, and studies have proven its over 99% effective, and as effective as the implant, pill or patch.

    I've been using FAM to avoid pregnancy for over a year, all you have to do is take your temp in the morning and check your cervical fluid (just feel around your vaginal opening or wipe it with some tissue) whenever you use the toilet. I use an app called Kindara which inputs all my data and does the hard work for me! I'd highly recommend a book called 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' as it will explain all of the rules clearly.

    The number of days you need to avoid sex will depend on your cycle. For me, I can have unprotected sex for 20 days of the month and use condoms (or abstain) for 10 days. I will point out that you MUST follow the rules correctly, as I knowingly had sex right before ovulation without a condom and I fell pregnant, but I knew that was a possibility because I didn't follow the rules, so it's got nothing to do with the FAM method.

    FAM is a great tool for trying for a baby too, as it will help you time sex accurately to increase your chances, and you will be able to tell if there's any potential fertility problems.

    You can't rely solely on FAM until you've charted at least 3-6 cycles after coming off of hormonal contraception, or after giving birth. There are special rules for breastfeeding mothers, all explained in that book I mentioned.

    I'd definitely recommend FAM to anyone, especially when compared to the copper coil or hormones. I tried a coil, but at the end of the day it's still a foreign body in your uterus which can cause damage, and it's very painful (at least it was for me).

    Feel free to ask me any questions you might have, I'll try and answer :) xx

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Also forgot to mention, FAM is not the same as the rhythm method, which is an unreliable method of contraception. People often get the 2 confused and assume you'll get pregnant if you use FAM to avoid, but the chances are the same as most other contraceptives as long as you follow the rules.

    1434732514
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    Boo do you get much warning when you cant have sex, or does it all depend on that mornings results?

    Must be pretty annoying scheduling sex just incase youre not safe for tomorrow etc, or am i completely thinking of the wrong thing?

    1434732765
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    JM88 it depends what rules you want to follow. A lot of women won't have unprotected sex at all until after they've confirmed ovulation; but the method I use (still 99% accurate) allows you to have sex for the first 5 days of your cycle, then anytime after 6pm on a 'dry day' (no cervical fluid). As soon as I start showing cervical fluid the condoms go on, until 3 days after ovulation. Then I can have as much unprotected sex as I like during my luteal phase :)

    You don't have to schedule sex, unless you choose to abstain during your fertile window, you just have to decide which days to use barriers. I can see how it would be a hassle for some women but for us it's much better than wearing condoms 100% of the time, or using hormones. And I've learnt a lot about my body and my fertility through FAM as well :)

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    Lovehoney - Sian [sign in to see picture]
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    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    If you plan to have a baby then you will have to get used to doctors being all up in your business

    this is by far my most dreaded part of pregnancy, I will end up killing a midwife! I would be requesting minimal examinations and if anyone touches me without asking first I will break their hand with my vagina lol

    Lol - I felt that way too, even bought nighties for labour to protect my dignity. They didnt even come out of my suitcase, you go past caring about strangers fiddling with your bits by that point

    The worst thing is a stretch and sweep...............!!

    1434732991
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    I was going to ask the same as Jm88, do you end up with a cycle and you know how long you've got? And what do you check about your fluid, colour or amount? How often do you have to input data, every time you use the toilet? Are the 20 days including 5 you're on your period?
    I think after having the implant in I'll use this as contraception until we're absolutely ready for a baby then use it to get pregnant, although I prefer the sex every other day method for getting pregnant, less stressful

    1434733091
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    If you plan to have a baby then you will have to get used to doctors being all up in your business

    this is by far my most dreaded part of pregnancy, I will end up killing a midwife! I would be requesting minimal examinations and if anyone touches me without asking first I will break their hand with my vagina lol

    Lol - I felt that way too, even bought nighties for labour to protect my dignity. They didnt even come out of my suitcase, you go past caring about strangers fiddling with your bits by that point

    The worst thing is a stretch and sweep...............!!

    What the hell is a stretch and sweep? O.o
    1434733417
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Cycles can vary, your previous cycles may give you an idea of when to expect ovulation, but really you just work it out as you go along based on your fertility signs. The 20 days for me includes the 5 at the start, then every dry day, and my luteal phase. My fertile window is about 10 days long, so that's the time I can't have unprotected sex. My fertile window starts as soon as I start getting cervical fluid, and ends 4 days after my peak cervical fluid day, and when I've had 3 high temps, which confirms ovulation.

    It sounds tricky, but honestly that book is so simple and easy to understand. There's loads of example charts in there too :)

    In terms of cervical fluid, you're checking colour and consistency. Sticky and opaque is usually what you'll get first, then it becomes more watery as you get more fertile. When it's clear and really stretchy, like raw eggwhites, that signals that you're about to ovulate. Your peak CM day is the day you've had the most fertile cervical fluid, usually the eggwhite kind, but some women may not get this so in that case it's whatever is normal for them.

    I'm sorry I probably haven't explained this very well! X

    1434739686
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    If you plan to have a baby then you will have to get used to doctors being all up in your business

    this is by far my most dreaded part of pregnancy, I will end up killing a midwife! I would be requesting minimal examinations and if anyone touches me without asking first I will break their hand with my vagina lol

    Lol - I felt that way too, even bought nighties for labour to protect my dignity. They didnt even come out of my suitcase, you go past caring about strangers fiddling with your bits by that point

    The worst thing is a stretch and sweep...............!!

    What the hell is a stretch and sweep? O.o

    A pain filled attempt to bring on labour to stop you from going too long overdue.

    The midwife inserts a finger into the opening of your cervix and 'sweeps' her finger around to seperate the membranes of the amniotic sac from your cervix. It releases labour hormones and generally you will labour within 48 hours. If you're overdue, they'll do this before inducing you via the drip to try to kick start your labour 'naturally'.

    Imagine sticking a finger in your bottom and wriggling it round ina stretching motion with no lube and no warm up then multiply that discomfort and sense of violation by a bugger ton, factor in the fact that your irrational maternal instincts are screaming that someone is trying to hurt your baby and you must stop them NOW, and you're somewhat close. It's pretty horrible. Then it's over and all is good. Think the worst of it comes from the fact that your body just panics and you can't help but tense up no matter how many 'breathing exercises' you do. My midwife couldn't get her finger back out :D

    1434740241
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have the Mirena brand IUD (I live in the states) it is made of plastic, not copper. I have had a very positive experience with this.

    I am a serious +1 that if you are having a baby you will have to find a way to get over the "up in your sutff" anxiety. Prenatal care and doctors visits are important to you and your baby.

    1434740906
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Sian wrote:

    If you plan to have a baby then you will have to get used to doctors being all up in your business

    this is by far my most dreaded part of pregnancy, I will end up killing a midwife! I would be requesting minimal examinations and if anyone touches me without asking first I will break their hand with my vagina lol

    Lol - I felt that way too, even bought nighties for labour to protect my dignity. They didnt even come out of my suitcase, you go past caring about strangers fiddling with your bits by that point

    The worst thing is a stretch and sweep...............!!

    What the hell is a stretch and sweep? O.o

    A pain filled attempt to bring on labour to stop you from going too long overdue.

    The midwife inserts a finger into the opening of your cervix and 'sweeps' her finger around to seperate the membranes of the amniotic sac from your cervix. It releases labour hormones and generally you will labour within 48 hours. If you're overdue, they'll do this before inducing you via the drip to try to kick start your labour 'naturally'.

    Imagine sticking a finger in your bottom and wriggling it round ina stretching motion with no lube and no warm up then multiply that discomfort and sense of violation by a bugger ton, factor in the fact that your irrational maternal instincts are screaming that someone is trying to hurt your baby and you must stop them NOW, and you're somewhat close. It's pretty horrible. Then it's over and all is good. Think the worst of it comes from the fact that your body just panics and you can't help but tense up no matter how many 'breathing exercises' you do. My midwife couldn't get her finger back out :D

    no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. God. No. I have learning difficulties which mean I hate any form of human contact, even hugs, except OH., so either he trains as a midwife or we're done for I'm kind of against the whole nannying of pregnancies though, if there was actually suspected to be something wrong I'd do anything but a lot of it is actually just checking, no other animal has midwives and we have only recently done. I really want a more natural birth At the moment though I'll focus on contraception though lol
    1434742037
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    Both my children were conceived during periods where I shouldn't have conceived. So so so glad I have the coil in. :)

    1434742267
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    Midwives need to put their fingers inside you during labour to measure how far you've dilated. I had a stretch and sweep with my first, it was more uncomfortable than painful, she ended up being rushed out because her heartbeat stopped. So I had doctors, nurses and midwives down there!! She was brought out via a ventouse (suction cup attached to her head) I was cut open slightly too (I say slightly, I had 14 stitches inside and out!)
    So you've got to expect some kind of contact when in labour as well as during pregnancy. Xx

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