• Sexual fantasies

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    Littlestars [sign in to see picture]
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    As a woman who now knows what I'm after sexually, the things I want to experience and play out are very clear in my mind, and have been for a long time. I spent 14 yrs (married) restricted to vanilla sex with the odd bit if tying up but very samey no longer exciting etc. relationship ended last year. After a year of singldom coming to terms with marriage break up etc

    i had the epiphany recently that I could finally get my desires met, and oh boy has my sexual mojo come back. Now I have the issue of finding willing partner, I do now have a potential one in the pipeline.

    I have found engaging in sexual scenario chat on dating sites has allowed me to wiggle out the time wasters and concentrate on finding those who are eager to satisfy my needs, I don't feel wrong in doing this but I am finding that it's much harder for a guy to accept that I have these desires.

    Surely in our modern age it's acceptable for a woman to have her fantasies fulfilled, and achieve a mutual relationship with someone who is aware of my desires and knows what I want to try.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh hell yes, it is more than acceptable for you to fulfill your fantasies and find a partner who is not only aware of your desires but fuels them!

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    It's great that you have this new found sexual freedom, but don't let it take over. Most people have a relationship then over time work round to experimentation and fantasy. It might be harder for your partner to accept that these fantasy if they seem to be the most important thing in a relationship.

    That been said if you make your intentions clear, and satisfying your desires is the priority not a relationship then it's just a matter of making things clear to you and any potential suitor.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Fun Louise wrote:

    It's great that you have this new found sexual freedom, but don't let it take over. Most people have a relationship then over time work round to experimentation and fantasy. It might be harder for your partner to accept that these fantasy if they seem to be the most important thing in a relationship.

    That been said if you make your intentions clear, and satisfying your desires is the priority not a relationship then it's just a matter of making things clear to you and any potential suitor.

    +1 Also some fantasies are often best left unacted out as sometimes the desired result isn't obtained and may be a dissappointment.

    On the whole though there is nothing wrong with experimentation and as long as it is consentual to both parties. Communication is again key .

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    Littlestars wrote:

    Surely in our modern age it's acceptable for a woman to have her fantasies fulfilled, and achieve a mutual relationship with someone who is aware of my desires and knows what I want to try.

    I would say this statement is absolutely true, but not if you're looking in the wrong place!

    Dating sites tend to be full of very 'vanilla' people, the kinksters tend to go to dedicated sites to make sure they're meeting people who are as open sexually as they are.

    If you've found a potential partner, why not just focus your energy on making that happen and forget the dating site for a while?

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    Littlestars [sign in to see picture]
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    I've shut my dating site profile off, did it a few days ago to concentrate my efforts to two guys, both quiet kinky when it comes down to it. Both after different things from relationships though.

    My ex didn't have an ounce of kink in him, no desire for anything exciting, sex out of the bedroom involved the lounge. Nothing even slightly risqué

    both of these guys are aware of my wants, neither have ran off, one has experience of it too, it's proving very erotic and interesting at the moment.

    i do want a relationship but I'm keen to be an open book and not unleash my requests for them to be rejected. I'm communicating my needs very clearly which for reference include pegging, and toy based double penetration, both have suggested an actual threesome which keeps me on my toes as I'd never have expected that. But besides those things a bit of anal play for both parties.

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    flamingdice [sign in to see picture]
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    I know how you feel!

    I've met some lovely people on fetlife and lots of us use okcupid as a dating site, it's less vanilla than Pof I find :)

    I hope you find your fulfilment!

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