• Bisexual Female in Heterosexual Relationship

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    ChloeW96 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys!

    I'm a bisexual female, and i have been in a comitted relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and a half now. I have known for about 6 years now that I am bisexual, so its nothing new to me. Before i was with my boyfriend, i had slept with one girl and kissed a few, however since coming to university the option to sleep with other girls has arisen.

    Now, my boyfriend was the first to initiate having a threesome. However, in recent weeks, he has become cold to the topic, walks off when I kiss other girls in clubs (Although he has previously told me he does not mind?), and seems upset by me liking other girls.

    I didn't know if there were any other bisexual girls in relationships with boys that could offer me some help, seems like it's a bit unfair for my boyfriend to take it out on me when i can't change my sexuality!

    Chloe xx

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    SecretAnalLover [sign in to see picture]
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    I've dated a couple of bi girls in the past and anything like that was agreed on first. If they saw somebody they liked and wanted then it would get discussed etc, no random stuff.

    He either minds or he doesn't. I think you need to have a long hard talk to him about how he really feels about it and set some rules.

    I'm not saying you need permission but as you are in a relationship with him these rules as such need to be there and agreed on 100% by both people.

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    A committed relationship is exactly that. Maybe he's worried you will leave him for someone else and the more girls you kiss and meet it could happen. He likes girls so how would you feel if when out together he started doing that?

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    You can't help your sexuality, but being bisexual doesn't entitle you to force an open relationship on your partner.

    You say you're committed, but if you're kissing other girls in clubs it doesn't sound like it! He clearly isn't happy with you engaging in sexual activity with other people regardless of what he has said previously so I would suggest you stop and commit to him or else break it off if you really need to continue to experiment. It sounds like the reality of it has hit him and he has realised that however hot a threesome may seem, he actually isn't comfortable with sharing you.

    I am a bisexual woman in a relationship with a man. And I don't feel I have the right to kiss other women just because I'm attracted to them. That equals cheating to me. Doesn't matter what gender anyone is, I am committed to my partner and that means no one else, period.

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    Ink and Kink [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Chloe.

    I'm bi and in a hetero relationship. My other half too doesn't like when I kiss other girls. Although he told me he didnt mind originally. And so I talked to him about it and asked if he has a problem with it, which is when he told me that he does have a problem with it. because he is jealous, and scared id run off with them! But if I was straight he wouldn't mind.

    Ao I stopped making out with girls because I aren't a cheat. And I only originally did it because I knew he got off on it. So it was to turn him on. Butbas our relationship progressed. The more he wantes me physically to himself. Which I think is normal and fine.

    If you're wanting to sleep with other people be them girls or guys, I'd consider your relationship with him. If he doesn't want you to sleep woth others and if he isn't involved in such. I'm sorry to say that it's cheating.

    Your best bet is talking to him. See what he likes, wants, dislikes and doesn't want. When in a loving relationship there is nothing better than communication.

    I hope you sort it all out.

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    steevo68 [sign in to see picture]
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    Stuburns wrote:

    A committed relationship is exactly that. Maybe he's worried you will leave him for someone else and the more girls you kiss and meet it could happen. He likes girls so how would you feel if when out together he started doing that?

    +1

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    B52 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Chloe. I'm not bisexual or a woman but can tell you that you will need to speak openly to your boyfriend about this as it may be that his was OK with the idea of sharing you with another woman when mutually agreed but not with you going out clubbing together (you and him) and then you getting off with someone else as the mood takes you as younwould probably not like it if he took you out for dinner and snogged a stranger while you were left watching from your table. It sounds to me that he is definately not OK with the situation but hasnt explicitly expressed this fact to you but for sure if you care about him you need to talk about this and if you cant find a mutual ground then go your seperate ways .

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    FrozenAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm Bi and also in a heterosexual relationship, but I'm not sure I understand the dilemma. I'm in a relationship, to me it's the same as being straight in terms of the relationship that is. If I was straight and with a guy, I wouldn't be going out and hooking up with other guys (Unless this was consensual within the relationship that I was in) so, just because I'm Bi doesn't mean that I'll be with a guy and be doing stuff with other women.

    The thing that I've noticed with ex partners is that to them having a Bisexual GF was 'cool' they liked the idea that I liked other women, they liked talking about the possibility of me doing stuff with other women, but when it came down to it; they didn't like the reality of it. You can think that you'd be OK with something, but the truth is; until it actually happens we can't be 100% sure if we'd be OK with it. We can't change our feelings after the fact - and it sounds to me like he may have been OK with the idea of it, but he's not OK with the reality.

    You need to figure out what you want to do, we can't always have 'Our cake and eat it too'. You're going to have to decide if you want to be in this relationship, or if you want to continue to experiment. You then need to talk to your OH and discuss things with him. Because to me it sounds like you want to experiment with other things and are saying 'Well, I'm Bi' as an excuse to do them. You're either in a committed relationship or you're not.

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    I am bi and in a relationship with a man. I knew before I committed to him yet had never kissed another girl. However, I would never even consider flirting with another girl if I knew he was upset by it. Being bi does not mean you have the right to play around with women while in a relatioship with a man. He may have suggested a threesome without thinking about it properly, now he's thought about it he's decided he doesn't feel comfortable with it, you have to respect that. Saying "he can't take it out on me, I can't change my sexuality" is pretty selfish. No you can't change your sexuality, but you can change how you think about it. Your OH might like big boobs and small boobs, if you have small boobs would you be ok with him saying he wants to play with big boobed women too?

    sorry if I seem harsh but my Partner was once in a relatioship with a bi women who thought the same, becuase she's bi she should be allowed a girlfriend and a boyfriend. It really hurt him and almost stopped him trusting me. We have discussed a threesome but that doesn't mean I'm going to start kissing girls willy nilly!

    if you want girl on girl action it has to be with his full consent and on his terms. If you're not prepared to give up women for him then leave, it's unfair to expect him to be faithful if you can't be.

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    Never know [sign in to see picture]
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    You kissing a girl is no different than your boyfriend kissing another girl. You need to talk about even the possibility of a threesome and ensure its both what you want before kissing other girls or initiating one. Even though you say you have spoken about it before, his feelings could have changed with the reality of you with someone else. Talk it through and see where he is at now.

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    fairehlights [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a....some sort of queer generally female, in a relationship with a man, and he sometimes does this too.

    You need to talk to him about it: after initiating the threesome, he may have realised that it's not for him and that he wasn't comfortable seeing you with someone else, but doesn't want to go back on his word and take back that you're allowed sexual freedom.

    You need to evaluate to yourself what kind of relationship your in, and where he stands too: are you poly? Are you both poly? Would you like to make it a freely open relationship for both of you? Or would you like it to remain closed, but be allowed secondary relationships with people that are agreed on with your man? ((This is what I have. I'm not allowed to just go off and have a thing with anyone, and any casual sex is distinctly threesomes only, but I have my ladyshape, and I'd be allowed relationships with other (mainly) women if it fitted with our rules and agreements))

    It's hard, even for the most secure people to see your partner with someone else, and if you're both young- you mentioned uni- even more so as you're still feeling your way in life.
    It's important to understand you aren't entitled to an open or poly relationship, but it's also important that if you feel sexual freedom is something you cannot live without, you have that opportunity.
    I, being basically a lesbian until my current and only male partner, made it clear immediately to him that I'd still want to sleep with women at times, and we built our relationship knowing that. If it's tht important to you, you need to make that clear, and it may mean some tough choices.

    So the short of it, is talk to him.
    Committed means different things to different people, and Lovebirds post outlines that especially. Her commitment means one person soley. My commitment means to my two loved people equally, within our boundaries. Yours may be different still.

    *sings* Talk to him, taaaalk to hiiim, taaaalk to hiiiiim!!!

    Also, make sure you weren't making out with hisex/ex fancy bit. That tends to piss guys off :P

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Never know wrote:

    You kissing a girl is no different than your boyfriend kissing another girl. You need to talk about even the possibility of a threesome and ensure its both what you want before kissing other girls or initiating one. Even though you say you have spoken about it before, his feelings could have changed with the reality of you with someone else. Talk it through and see where he is at now.

    +1

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    TickleMeTots [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm bisexual but have been with a male for 4 years now. At the start of our relationship I was doing the same, kissing women and thinking it's harmless because they were female and not male. But it's actually no different and can be considered cheating still.

    You're partner may have said that he's happy to do it at the start as it sounds fun and maybe wants you to be pleased, but could have changed his mind after having thought about it properly. That's what happened with me and my partner - I wanted to experience sex with a women and at first he said he was ok about it, but the more we spoke of it the more truthful he became and basically said that he didn't like that I wanted to sleep with someone else other than him.

    To be honest though, if he's showing signs that he's no longer comfortable with it, then it shouldn't really happen as it'll just end up causing issues with the relationship. Like everyone else has said, speak with him! Make the conversation comfortable and not put him under pressure.

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    Tr1cky D1cky [sign in to see picture]
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    Every relationship is different, we can all offer our opinions and advice but in the end it's what you decide and how it works out is up to you and him?

    Maybe you need to think how you would feel if it were the other way round and he was kissing men?

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    linsa [sign in to see picture]
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    I join some bisexual sites or forums and find there are so many couple or married couple comint out of the closet to explore their sexuality. They are interested in threesome with someone, especially the bisexual female. Try out top10bidatingsites.com and you can learn more info.

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    Banannabelsplit [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a bi female in a heterosexual relationship and my partner and I have just agreed to be exclusive so I will offer my two cents. Are you 100% sure he's ok with it? He might say he doesn't mind but that doesn't mean he can't be too uncomfortable to say he does.

    Like the others have said, just because you're bi doesn't mean it's ok to go around kissing girls while you're in a commited monogamous relationship. It really is no different to you kissing guys. Unless you are in an open relationship or are adament about having a threesome, my best advice is to stop kissing girls.

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