• Hi -sex drive vanished

    1432161192
    Gen28 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,

    so 3 years ago I had my son and then I had the implant. From when I had the implant my sex drive completely went, I am really stupid though as I only just worked out it was this first I put it down to just having a baby and then that I was knackered all the time. It is only in last week or so that I've had it out and was reading how they got it out that somewhere mentioned it as a side effect.

    I still not got it 100% back ( I was at the point where I really just didn't want sex it went from 2/3 times a week to once every 2 month) am hoping it will come back. But has anyone got any tips into maybe getting me back into the swing of things as now am very out of practice with starting things off etc and I know I need to make an effort.

    Thanks

    1432164756
    Never know [sign in to see picture]
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    Some sexy lingerie maybe?

    1432169490
    Little White Butterfly [sign in to see picture]
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    It all depends on what you and your OH are into, NK is right, sexy underwear always helps get you in the mood and I'm sure your OH will appreciate it.

    Maybe try talking to your OH, asking him what he wants to do to you/vice versa to get you both in the mood and build it up so you're both too excited that any initial nerves/ worries aren't an issue by the time you get to it?

    1432171370
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe try reading some erotic fiction? It's good for giving new ideas and can really help get you in the mood .
    Wearing some nice sexy lingerie can give you that confidence boost you need to initiate things or you could try giving each other a massage and see where it leads .

    1432174679
    little p. [sign in to see picture]
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    I would suggest going to your gynaecologist. A drop in sex drive can often happen after child birth and for some women normal hormone levels don't come back the way that they should. This is not normal. It can affect your self esteem and even put you into a depression. If your loss of sex drive is paired with abnormal fatigue and "brain fog" I would guess that your testosterone levels are very low, if not at zero. Women produce and NEED a small amount of the male hormone.

    I speak from experience. I am currently on hormone replacment. It has changed everything for me. My sex drive is right back where it was, before I had children. My thinking is clear and bright and even my skin and hair have changed for the better. It took a little time to find the right therapy for me but I keep a good line of communication open with my ObGyn and things could not be better. I hope this helps you.

    Please don't get down on yourself. There are answers out there for you. Also, sexy undies and erotic novels do help to wake up desire. So indulge and enjoy.

    1432190050
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    little p. wrote:

    I would suggest going to your gynaecologist. A drop in sex drive can often happen after child birth and for some women normal hormone levels don't come back the way that they should. This is not normal. It can affect your self esteem and even put you into a depression. If your loss of sex drive is paired with abnormal fatigue and "brain fog" I would guess that your testosterone levels are very low, if not at zero. Women produce and NEED a small amount of the male hormone.

    I speak from experience. I am currently on hormone replacment. It has changed everything for me. My sex drive is right back where it was, before I had children. My thinking is clear and bright and even my skin and hair have changed for the better. It took a little time to find the right therapy for me but I keep a good line of communication open with my ObGyn and things could not be better. I hope this helps you.

    Please don't get down on yourself. There are answers out there for you. Also, sexy undies and erotic novels do help to wake up desire. So indulge and enjoy.

    i was going to suggest the same thing.

    but if you get your hormones sorted, or they rectify themselves, then maybe a couple of practical suggestions.

    If you own a pair of jiggle balls start to wear them, not only will they get you a bit more toned up down there, but they should get you a little aroused. I wear mine when I'm home doing the housework and sometimes I just have to put the vacuum down and finish myself off.

    a bit of solo forplay may also help, even if you feel a bit silly at first don't give up until you start to feel wet and excited, a few solo orgasms are bound to help. (Once I have had one orgasm I want more and they usually come thick and fast).

    Try and relax have a both maybe take a toy with you. Talk to your OH I'm sure he will be more than willing to try to help you rekindle your sex drive.

    1432194749
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Fun Louise wrote:

    little p. wrote:

    I would suggest going to your gynaecologist. A drop in sex drive can often happen after child birth and for some women normal hormone levels don't come back the way that they should. This is not normal. It can affect your self esteem and even put you into a depression. If your loss of sex drive is paired with abnormal fatigue and "brain fog" I would guess that your testosterone levels are very low, if not at zero. Women produce and NEED a small amount of the male hormone.

    I speak from experience. I am currently on hormone replacment. It has changed everything for me. My sex drive is right back where it was, before I had children. My thinking is clear and bright and even my skin and hair have changed for the better. It took a little time to find the right therapy for me but I keep a good line of communication open with my ObGyn and things could not be better. I hope this helps you.

    Please don't get down on yourself. There are answers out there for you. Also, sexy undies and erotic novels do help to wake up desire. So indulge and enjoy.

    i was going to suggest the same thing.

    but if you get your hormones sorted, or they rectify themselves, then maybe a couple of practical suggestions.

    If you own a pair of jiggle balls start to wear them, not only will they get you a bit more toned up down there, but they should get you a little aroused. I wear mine when I'm home doing the housework and sometimes I just have to put the vacuum down and finish myself off.

    a bit of solo forplay may also help, even if you feel a bit silly at first don't give up until you start to feel wet and excited, a few solo orgasms are bound to help. (Once I have had one orgasm I want more and they usually come thick and fast).

    Try and relax have a both maybe take a toy with you. Talk to your OH I'm sure he will be more than willing to try to help you rekindle your sex drive.

    All of the above is great advice. Hope you can get this sorted x

    1432202880
    Gen28 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you for the advice everybody am going to look at getting some underwear and look at those balls, as I have only just had implant out which effects hormones am going to leave the doctors as they will only say it takes time but if it's still the same in a month I'll be banging the door down lol I want my sexy time back lol xx

    1432211831
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Terri JJ wrote:

    Fun Louise wrote:

    little p. wrote:

    I would suggest going to your gynaecologist. A drop in sex drive can often happen after child birth and for some women normal hormone levels don't come back the way that they should. This is not normal. It can affect your self esteem and even put you into a depression. If your loss of sex drive is paired with abnormal fatigue and "brain fog" I would guess that your testosterone levels are very low, if not at zero. Women produce and NEED a small amount of the male hormone.

    I speak from experience. I am currently on hormone replacment. It has changed everything for me. My sex drive is right back where it was, before I had children. My thinking is clear and bright and even my skin and hair have changed for the better. It took a little time to find the right therapy for me but I keep a good line of communication open with my ObGyn and things could not be better. I hope this helps you.

    Please don't get down on yourself. There are answers out there for you. Also, sexy undies and erotic novels do help to wake up desire. So indulge and enjoy.

    i was going to suggest the same thing.

    but if you get your hormones sorted, or they rectify themselves, then maybe a couple of practical suggestions.

    If you own a pair of jiggle balls start to wear them, not only will they get you a bit more toned up down there, but they should get you a little aroused. I wear mine when I'm home doing the housework and sometimes I just have to put the vacuum down and finish myself off.

    a bit of solo forplay may also help, even if you feel a bit silly at first don't give up until you start to feel wet and excited, a few solo orgasms are bound to help. (Once I have had one orgasm I want more and they usually come thick and fast).

    Try and relax have a both maybe take a toy with you. Talk to your OH I'm sure he will be more than willing to try to help you rekindle your sex drive.

    All of the above is great advice. Hope you can get this sorted x

    I agree with all of the above.

    Just to add why not get some steamy ( not porn) DVDs to watch together or on your own to see if they get you going . You can get many for very little outlay in scondhand DVD shops. Just "google" erotic movies and then compile yourself a hit list .Its also quite fun looking for them as well.

    Good luck

    1432221902
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    My only other thought here is just mental / head space. Sometimes after having a child you may be in "mom" mode and be shutting your sex drive off without even knowing it. I did this and had to work hard on creating time and space for me to feel like a sexy woman again. Getting my mojo back included new lingiere, a boudoire photo shoot, sex in places outside the house where there were constant kid reminders or distractions, even sex in the car in our garage, having sex with music on so I wasn't listening for the kids and distracted, planning actual date nights that were not even always about sex but connecting mentally as well. Best wishes to you and know you are not alone.

    1432355924
    little p. [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    My only other thought here is just mental / head space. Sometimes after having a child you may be in "mom" mode and be shutting your sex drive off without even knowing it. I did this and had to work hard on creating time and space for me to feel like a sexy woman again. Getting my mojo back included new lingiere, a boudoire photo shoot, sex in places outside the house where there were constant kid reminders or distractions, even sex in the car in our garage, having sex with music on so I wasn't listening for the kids and distracted, planning actual date nights that were not even always about sex but connecting mentally as well. Best wishes to you and know you are not alone.

    Good point! Female sex drive is a complex thing. Getting out of Mummy mode is hard when there are toys on the floor or little child reminders all over the house. If you can, and I know it's hard, try to get a babysitter. Go to a hotel room, even if the room is just down the street, from your home. Having a blank space, to make love in, may really help to put your mind at ease. I wish you well.

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