• anxiety and relationships

    1431741880
    somegirlinthisworld [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm in a new relationship right now, but I suffer from anxiety, just this week I've had two panic attacks. I have thoughts that the man I'm seeing doesn't like me, has found someone else, is only pretending to care, and these thoughts bring on my panic attacks.

    I need help on what to do

    1431743439
    Lovehoney - Paige [sign in to see picture]
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    Go and talk to someone, trust me when i say it's one of the best things you can do :-) heart

    Just remember that you are safe.

    1431743593
    fantasia fairy [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Paige wrote:

    Go and talk to someone, trust me when i say it's one of the best things you can do :-)

    Just remember that you are safe.

    +1 this is me. like sums me up perfectly but i agree with paige.

    I am at a point where i can no longer be in a relationship....i have 'friends' but never a relationship.

    You need to talk about it before you get to the stage i'm at where i cant trust no one....

    xxx

    1431748986
    Lovehoney - Jessica [sign in to see picture]
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    I believe that before you can love and trust someone else truly, you need to love and trust yourself absolutely.

    If nothing else, please take deep slow breaths, and reallise that this man is with you for a reason, just as much as you are with him!

    Having a chat with a professional would definitely be the best thing in this situation. Take care miss! :)

    1431759701
    Subdom27 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Jessica wrote:

    I believe that before you can love and trust someone else truly, you need to love and trust yourself absolutely.

    If nothing else, please take deep slow breaths, and reallise that this man is with you for a reason, just as much as you are with him!

    Having a chat with a professional would definitely be the best thing in this situation. Take care miss! :)

    This!
    1431774477
    naughtywildfun90 [sign in to see picture]
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    Subdom27 wrote:

    Lovehoney - Jessica wrote:

    I believe that before you can love and trust someone else truly, you need to love and trust yourself absolutely.

    If nothing else, please take deep slow breaths, and reallise that this man is with you for a reason, just as much as you are with him!

    Having a chat with a professional would definitely be the best thing in this situation. Take care miss! :)

    This!
    +1
    1431775480
    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
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    I can really empathise with your situation. When I first started seeing my partner, I had a lot of anxiety issues and suffered from panic attacks. It was one of the most difficult things to do, but I believe what helped my problem more than anything was opening up to my partner about it and just telling him what I was thinking. It's hard to do because of worrying how you'll look to them, but it means that you can open up a dialogue about your worries and get direct answers about the things that are playing on your mind. I also found that by letting him know that I was anxious, and that there was the possibility of me having panic attacks, I felt a lot less nervous because I wasn't having to spend loads of effort and energy hiding it from him. It also helped to know that he knew what the problem was, so if I was acting at all strangely he knew that it wasn't something he was doing wrong, that there wasn't a problem in the relationship, and he could focus on supporting me through the real issue rather than having to guess and worry himself. It turns out that he's been able to help me more than anyone, so sometimes it's worth the risk of being honest with someone and letting them help.

    I know how horrible anxiety is, so I really wish you the best of luck in dealing with it. x

    1431817097
    Lovehoney - Dani [sign in to see picture]
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    Two years into my relationship and both his and my anxiety still put a huge amount of pressure on our lives. We deal with it differently, it manifests itself in different ways and while we do our best to understand we still manage to have tensions boil over very often.

    I think its really important to have a support network external to the relationship - either through therapy, friends that you can vent to, family or online communities etc.

    Knowing that it's anxiety leading to these insecurities and suspicious thoughts is half the battle - explain to him and help him understand why you feel the way you do, and I'm sure your partner is reassuring but it's a difficult situation for both. Many hugs to you.

    1431859300
    sassykitten;) [sign in to see picture]
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    Im can sometimes experience anxiety, anything from he doesn't want to be with someone like me n with my figure, to I cant love him because he could do better.... my past has haunted me and because we're getting longer into our relationship my thoughts wonder some times, its not him or beause i dont love hi,0m.its my eating disorders past showing its ugly head I know im being stupid but I know how you feel, I suggest talk to him or friends parents can all help x

    1431893232
    somegirlinthisworld [sign in to see picture]
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    I do need to talk to him, but I don't know what or how to say it

    any suggestions?

    1431896446
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Tell him what you've told us. Be honest and open and try to explain to him why you feel like this. Communication is very important in any relationship and I'm sure he'd rather be aware of your feelings than have you worrying and being anxious and not confiding in him. 

    xx

    1431912929
    somegirlinthisworld [sign in to see picture]
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    Even in a new (4-6 week) long relationship..isn't it too much too soon

    1431942342
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    My opinion may be a little different that the others. I am just wondering if it is anxiety or that you feel perhaps insecurity and your thinking might be that he is going to wonder off with the next girl he sees.

    So perhaps you do need to talk , Perhaps you could find out about his past relationships . I agree it could be dodgy ground but it may give you an indication of whether he is playing the field or whether he is a guy who likes a more stable long term relationship. If you can, find out why they ended . This may give you some pointers you can work on.

    I have always stated that trust underpins most sucessful long term relationships but it is something that is built up over time .The same applys to your relationship here it wll take time to develop but as the weeks go buy , I think then you will start feeling less anxiety .

    Good luck

    1431945008
    kinkytaffs [sign in to see picture]
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    I sympathise with you on your suffering with panic attacks, I myself have suffered with them for many years and while I am much better now I still suffer periodically with them, even though I have coping mechanisms and am on medication. First of all as has been said previously learn to love yourself, seek medical advice but also talk with your partner, if he's any sort of man he will understand and help you through this period. If however he is not supportive then he's not the man for you and you should concentrate on your own well being for the immediate future. Good luck for your future and don't be afraid to seek medical help.

    1432226770
    HappyHippy [sign in to see picture]
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    When I first met my fiance i had really bad anxiety issues. I'd been cheated on, in abusive relationships, even from being 13. I had so many panic attacks for the first few months but gradually it got much better. he helps me so much and even though sometimes he doesn't know what to do he really does try bless him!

    I still feel anxious from time to time because of past relationships, and it makes me feel terrible. he treats me so well and i suppose it's just beenm hard to get used to that after everything that's happened before.

    PLEASE, don't worry! If he's a genuine loving person he'll look straight past that and things will start looking up. trust me! ;)

    1432326569
    Corset_is [sign in to see picture]
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    Skitty wrote:

    I can really empathise with your situation. When I first started seeing my partner, I had a lot of anxiety issues and suffered from panic attacks. It was one of the most difficult things to do, but I believe what helped my problem more than anything was opening up to my partner about it and just telling him what I was thinking. It's hard to do because of worrying how you'll look to them, but it means that you can open up a dialogue about your worries and get direct answers about the things that are playing on your mind. I also found that by letting him know that I was anxious, and that there was the possibility of me having panic attacks, I felt a lot less nervous because I wasn't having to spend loads of effort and energy hiding it from him. It also helped to know that he knew what the problem was, so if I was acting at all strangely he knew that it wasn't something he was doing wrong, that there wasn't a problem in the relationship, and he could focus on supporting me through the real issue rather than having to guess and worry himself. It turns out that he's been able to help me more than anyone, so sometimes it's worth the risk of being honest with someone and letting them help.

    I know how horrible anxiety is, so I really wish you the best of luck in dealing with it. x

    Couldn't agree more.

    I actually suffer from anxiety as a result of my previous marriage and I am gradually getting better but I was open with my new man right from the start (before we met actually) and he's been great about it. If I start getting a bit "nervy" he distracts me, suggests I take my meds (obviously I went down the professional advice route first) or asks what I've had to eat or drink (it is interesting to note that the artificial sweetener, aspartame, can trigger or worsen anxiety. We now check labels for it to be on the safe side which really helps)

    I still have my moments. He's working abroad for a few weeks which is causing a few unfounded fears but it helps that I can be honest with him about my anxiety.

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