• BDSM books or sites

    1430654934
    JL [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 26 May 2009

    Hello,

    me an my other half are looking more into bdsm, we're looking for some books or sites to look at.

    were looking at restraints, rope play.

    ive tried a search but not really found much, I will look at fetlife though.

    cheers

    1430655972
    Ink and Kink [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2084
    • Joined: 21 Apr 2014

    I have a lot of pdfs on bdsm saved to my laptop but I can't remember the names atm. If you type "bdsm pdf" into Google free downloads should come up :)

    1430656348
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    There's quite a few on here, for example:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26946

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26942

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26944

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32872

    Just head over to the erotic books section (under gifts and games) and go to the 'better sex books' section. There's a lot of bdsm fiction on here too.

    1430674937
    Dom+sub1810 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 15 Jul 2008

    Fetlife is great, you can type things like submissive bdm, or dominant bdsm in google and that should bring things up. There are lots of sites that are really good, its just a case of searching and trying different searches.

    Good luck, and BDSM is great, also DD (Domestic Discipline) is also worth looking into. learningdd.com.

    Hope this helps

    1430684510
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    Dom+sub1810 wrote:

    Fetlife is great, you can type things like submissive bdm, or dominant bdsm in google and that should bring things up. There are lots of sites that are really good, its just a case of searching and trying different searches.

    Good luck, and BDSM is great, also DD (Domestic Discipline) is also worth looking into. learningdd.com.

    Hope this helps

    While domestic discipline is an interesting topic, I feel it's necessary to point out it is NOT related to bdsm role play or even 24/7 sub/dom relationships. Totally different dynamic and aims. Quite important not to confuse things like that when you're starting out!

    1430692818
    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    We have a club here in Birmingham that do demo's every month.

    A fantastic place for information and guests from over Europe and around the World.

    Do you have a club near you?

    1430695161
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Can I ask what domestic discipline is? Sorry it's not something I've heard of, domestic violence springs to mind but I'm sure that's not it! Google says it's a Christian thing?

    1430696209
    redqueenwildboy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 33
    • Joined: 26 Dec 2010

    I second the Fetlife suggestion - great place to find out about local meet ups. It's not set up like a dating or hook-up site which is reassuring if you're just looking for friends and contacts. Best of luck!

    Oh, and Domestic Discipline is a whole bunch of crazy which is best avoid it... and I'm saying that as someone who is into a whole bunch of crazy stuff! It's generally full of people who believe female submission and discipline is the "right" and "natural" way to run a household which is frankly quite insulting to genuine female submissives like myself.

    I hope you have fun exploring x

    1430696716
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks redqueen, doesn't sound like something I'd ever want to be part of! I'll stick to BDSM ;)

    1430789593
    bunual [sign in to see picture]
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    I'll third the Fetlife recommendation. As always, use your common sense when looking at suggestions people have but you should be able to find some good advice on there. Meeing up with people is also a good way to find out information, like what events are nearby. I've got the two books Lovebirds_x linked to by the Two Knotty Boys which are a good place to start if you're interested in rope (they also do videos you can look for online).

    Sorry I can't be more help but I found out almost everything I know from other people and visiting events.

    1430809544
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    I'll like to point out that Domestic and Discipline can be a part of BDSM, however 'Domestic Discipline' is a lifestyle in itself which prefers to not to be ass. with BDSM. Domestic Discipline is often Christian base where women are taught how to behave through spanking, controlling comands, and rules. While that may sound very BDSM-like, it's often done due to religion. Those into it claim it is a way of showing love. However from what I've seen most of those disciplining their wife in these manners, generally does so in anger, where as while in BDSM we may correct a submissive it's often never done in true anger.

    Discipline in BDSM is very different, and varies from Dom / sub. but as I said above it should never be done in anger. You may be annoyed with a sub for getting their task wrong, and discipline them, but it would be done so in a more caring nature rather than 'You've done something wrong *shout*, *spank*.' Actually I find shouting and spanking to be bad ways of discipling a sub as it never truely gets through, and it's rare for me to shout or swear in a session at all.

    Domestic in BDSM is more like having servants, but you show them care. Like how I have a slave who cleans my rabbit (animal) for me, he loves to help me, and to reward him I allow him to make me a cup of tea afterwards and we have a friendly chat. However it's different to being a 24/7 housewide with the threat of being punished via shouting, spanking, etc. If anything if he does anything wrong when cleaning said rabbit, I'd make it more fun the way I'd tell him off, often resting in pouting and laughing, basically it's a bit of a mind fuck which they get off of and remember for the next time.

    I'm not sure if I've explained this right anyway?

    But while the terms are used in both BDSM and non-BDSM lifestyles, they mean very different things.

    1430809784
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    In regards to books 'The Ultimate Guide to Kink' is a good one. And 'How to be Kinky'.

    For rope 'Two Knotty Boys' books are fab.

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