• Sub or Dom?

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh Boo your going like an express train !

    IMHO th best way about this is taking it slowly and suggest things that you want him to do to you without trying to freak him out. Try and guage his reaction and if a bit negative try and overcome his objections.

    I am not an expert on BDSM and it obvious you are going into it much deeper than what we practise . Perhaps a book suggesting things or a DVD/Internet tube showing things you want to try and then suggest to him "Could we try that , What do you think"

    Obviously I don't know your OH but I would imagine his biggist concern is that he might think he is degrading you . That would be my concern if my wife wanted to go into BDSM deeper .

    As an idea for starters , Why not get a French Maids Costume ? He would then have to order you around ie fetch his drink etc etc. I think it could be a good route to get him used to ordering you around and it doesn't prevent you from wearing your normal sexy lingerie as well .

    I still think you might need to get a bolt lock for that bedroom door though..........

    1431077558
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Hahah, thanks mysteron! Yes we definitely need that bolt ;)

    Yeah I think he would be worried that he was being mean to be and actually offending or degrading me in real life, which wouldn't be the case but if it was then I'd use my safe word and put a stop to it.

    I'm not talking major psychological domination here, just little things I guess like having more control over me in the bedroom and punishing me after doing something 'bad' with a punishment of his choice.

    I prefer to be submissive but at the moment I do kinda feel like I'm topping from the bottom because he won't do any of those things without me telling him it's okay first, and often I'll have to tell him to hit me harder or tie me up or whatever. He loves it when he's doing it, but like I said he's too considerate to do it on his own accord in case I don't like it! That's not a bad thing though, it's amazing that he's such a caring person like that.

    I just kind of want to have a discussion about it rather than jumping in to it to see how he feels, but don't know how to go about it! The idea of reading books etc is good so perhaps I'll try that. :)

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Also I'm just not sure how to explain that I actually LIKE that stuff in a way that he will understand?

    As I've said before, he's made throwaway comments about people who do BDSM stuff like this before, and at the time I didn't mind so much but I've started to realise that I'm into it a lot more than I thought!

    1431078949
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    It could just be that stigma of leather fetish that tends to be worn almost like a uniform in certain BDSM circles, that he doesn't like.

    I must admit that side of it doesn't float my boat.

    I also recommend that you take a look at the new DVD movie "Duke of Bergundy" If you are into BDSM then it may be worth you taking a look at it and there isn't any leather invoved. Its all about control and submissiveness .My wife didn't appreciate this film in the same way as I did but then I don't think BDSM is going to be for her, apart from that in the role plays . On saying that she does like bondage and skin sensory .

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not in to the leather or PVC stuff either, I prefer to just be naked or wearing normal lingerie during our play sessions!

    Thanks mysteron I'll check it out :)

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    You might even find it funny even though its a serious film. The House Cleaner ( the sub) has an obsession about being tied up and placed into a big storage chest over night..The lady of the manor is the dominant although in many ways she is a reluctant dom . Its probasbly not too indifferent to what your going through at the moment with your OH .

    Just in case your curious the Duke of Bergundy is a butterfly and the lady of the manor collects butterflies. Yes its quite cryptic for a title.

    I would check it out on the internet first before buying as recommending films is quite difficult when you don't know someone well enough .

    1431179252
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, I had a chat with my OH last night and it went down pretty well! He said he's pretty much up for anything but he won't slap me in the face, which I've never asked him to and never want him to do, so that's fine :p

    I forgot to bring my restraints to his house, so he blindfolded me with a scarf and tied me up with his tie. He basically ordered me around all night and was really forceful with me in the way he was acting and speaking, but in a good way. He spanked me pretty hard too and at one point I was actually crying under my blindfold, but again, in a good way because the feeling was so intense!

    I won't go in to much more detail as I'm sure I'll get told off, but it's definitely promising :) he did so well and I was really surprised. I can't wait to see what he does with me next time we get the house to ourselves!

    Thanks for all your help :)

    1431344829
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Glad it went well:)

    Just wondering if he would like to see you in a French Maids outfit? I melted when I saw my Mrs wearing hers.

    It could be a nice surprise for him when you get the house to yourselves as all the things you mentioned above could be easily done whilst wearing this outfit. Its one of those outfits possibley second only to the student outfit that most guys fantasise about

    1431345739
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Glad it went well:)

    Just wondering if he would like to see you in a French Maids outfit? I melted when I saw my Mrs wearing hers.

    It could be a nice surprise for him when you get the house to yourselves as all the things you mentioned above could be easily done whilst wearing this outfit. Its one of those outfits possibley second only to the student outfit that most guys fantasise about

    I can see the appeal, and I'm sure that he would like it purely because it's revealing and sexy, but he's not in to role plays at all so it would be more of an aesthetic thing than alluring because of the role play if that makes sense. I have mentioned it before and he didn't seem that keen!

    Thanks for the suggestion though :)

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    hornycouple30 [sign in to see picture]
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    I enjoy bening the sub my oh likes me to dominate her aswell i just enjoy the feeling of giving total control to my oh and let her mind run wild as what she can do with me

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    I love being in control in the bedroom generally, but I am enjoying being the submissive one during our recent foray into light bondage.

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    Iwish [sign in to see picture]
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    I would love to be dominated by my wife.

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    charliemichelle [sign in to see picture]
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    theres always switch

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    Clockwork_Oasis [sign in to see picture]
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    I am very much a switch, but I'm always 100% on one side or the other. My OH is the same, and we usually match up :P. A couple of times we haven't, and that actually turned out quite fun as well!

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    charliemichelle [sign in to see picture]
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    as long as you enjoy

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    hornycouple30 [sign in to see picture]
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    Whats there not to enjoy dom or sub what ever role you take its always fun

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    Dom+sub1810 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a sub to my Dom husband, we love it. Only been into bdsm for 5months now, and it has honestly saved our relationship because without it we would be going through divorce right now instead of truly feeling happy lol.

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    charliemichelle [sign in to see picture]
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    go for it girl

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    chocolate-milk [sign in to see picture]
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    I love being the Sub and my BF being the Dom. He is such a gentlemen and sweetheart in every day life, so once in the bedroom when we become naughty, it's such a turn on! Him being in control and my 'master' and me being his bad girl, is amazing!

    1439738465
    charliemichelle [sign in to see picture]
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    turn on for both of us and great to switch

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