• Sub or Dom?

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with you there, I think a lot of people (including myself) have a problem with the fact he's using her as an outlet for his rage or whatever, because personally I feel feelings like that shouldn't come in to it and you certainly shouldn't take it out on your sub. And yeah, she should have used the safe word!

    1428493835
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I forgot to add. If you want to learn or your OH on how to use the cane without sending somebody to hospital then that book on consensual spanking will show you the basics .

    1428496889
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you :) I'm not sure about caning yet, that's probably something we need to work up to if we ever fancy it.

    My package just arrived containing the flogger, silicone crop, and feather tickler. Ooooooh they look soo gooooood!

    Just giving myself a little whack to see what they feel like, the crop is good but the flogger certainly takes some practice otherwise it doesn't hurt at all. Feels amazing for sensory play though ;)

    1428497461
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes thats what we use our flogger mainly for. However if you do figure 8 swirls with it you will get the odd sting on bare skin. and is quite pleasurable.The trick here is to keep the momentum going and don't stop . Me and my Mrs have used it on each other this way .It is also safe this way to use it on a bare back a well .

    1428497901
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo - Can you kindly supply me wit the LH code number for the crop . I wouldn't mind having a look at this

    1428498117
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Of course, here's the link:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29430

    Product code is different depending on the colour, mine is the red one (52658).

    It looks great, and leaves a nice sting on the skin which tingles afterwards. Can't wait to use this with my partner :)

    1428498340
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo wrote:

    Of course, here's the link:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29430

    Product code is different depending on the colour, mine is the red one (52658).

    It looks great, and leaves a nice sting on the skin which tingles afterwards. Can't wait to use this with my partner :)

    We have this crop and I love it - it really does feel amazing :) xx

    1428498369
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks. We like Bondage Boutique stuff as well. Our Flogger and Riding Crop are both Bondage Boutique. Very good quality stuff .

    1428501178
    Ray-Belle [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello!

    When I first started out I fell into a similar situation of enjoying both sides of Domination and Submission. I am naturally more submissive and love to take that role but there are times when I just want to be the one who is in charge. It took a while for me to get into a rhythm of knowing what to do when it was up to me, I felt awkward at first. But after working it out with my partner what they liked it became a lot easier and smoother.

    I now consider myself a switch. Somebody who can be a submissive or a dominate. However I tend to assume the submissive role with my current partner.

    As for Impact play ( spanking ) I am a HUGE fan of Leather Paddles. But each toy has a different feel. A Crop, I find, has a fast sharper sting. While Paddles have a much more blunt impact and a gradual build to the sting. If you are just trying them out the silicon ones should be just fine, for a longer term investment I always suggest a good leather piece :3

    1428502316
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I think in BDSM parlance I would be a switch also.

    I mostly llike being in control and when I have blndfolded my other half and tied her to the bed it gives me plenty of thinking time as regards the skin sensations . Plenty of feathers and dragging the flogger over her body with an occasional thwack on her inner thigh . I can hear her breathing getting more heavier which suggests I am doing things right for which I like and enjoy.

    Probably the cruelest thing I have ever done and she did get her own back with the paddle is Latte deprevation .

    We have a small Tassimo coffee machine at the side of the bed and after being tied up as above I made myself a latte .For anyone who has one of these machines they know it acually roasts the beans at some point. I could see her nose twitching and asking "where is mine" . I just ignored her and enjoyed my Latte. :)

    Just occasionally I would prefer her to dominate me and probsably the easiest wat of getting round this is in roleplaying where she plays the role of the top , Head Mistress, Cop etc.

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Ray-Belle thanks for the advice :)

    I love the sting of this silicone one (I've only whacked myself so far to try it as OH isn't home yet), so I think I would like to play around with a leather spanker or crop in the future. Depends what my partner says as well, as I want him to feel comfortable and not intimidated.

    If I could spare a little bit more money, there are some great looking spankers and crops in the 3 for £30 deal! I'll save my pennies...

    Hahah mysteron that's cruel!! If my partner did that to me (with tea instead) I'd feel very jealous Which of course is the whole point!

    1428506007
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Your right that is the whole point :)

    As a matter of interest when your partner ties you up , I presume he blindfolds you as well. Does he fit headphones with music so you can only hear the music? I have never heard of this technique before but some others have mentioned it on this forum. Its something I havn't tried yet  .I am also not sure of the music type as well or does that not matter ?

    I have noticed that you have changed your avatar . I presume that is you in the picture with your new riding crop ?

    1428506504
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Mysteron, no he doesn't, but apparently it's something that happens in FSOG and is used to deprive even more of your senses, so the feeling is more intense. It's something I would like to try at some point :) At the moment we do use blindfolds, but not every time,

    Yes that's me haha! Since I joined the community I've only used stock photos as avatars because I wasn't comfortable showing my face/body, but now I've got a blindfold I thought I'd try taking one, and as it happens the crop makes it a bit more exciting!

    1428507248
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Music wise I suppose classical would be best? I presume the idea is also to relax the Sub as well.

    As regards actual pictures for an Avatar , the only draw back is if someone recognises the picture perhaps a work colleague that could cause mischief.

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Music wise I suppose classical would be best? I presume the idea is also to relax the Sub as well.

    As regards actual pictures for an Avatar , the only draw back is if someone recognises the picture perhaps a work colleague that could cause mischief.

    Yeah I've heard of people using classical music, would make a change for us as we normally listen to rock/metal ha!

    Yeah that's why I was reluctant, but hopefully nobody could recognise me from that. Another reason I went for B&W, so it's harder to pick out hair colour etc, and made sure I didn't show any of my tattoos!

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    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Head phones and music has been used for awhile and is commonly used in bondassage (aka bound massage).

    1428519632
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Ooh that sounds intriguing... ;)

    I'm really learning a lot from this thread! Thank goodness for the LH community :)

    1428523121
    bunual [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo: never underestimate the kink potential from luggage straps - I've got lots of different lengths for different occasions. Prior to making my own underbed restrain setup, I used four straps around a divan bed to create a box just inside the edge of the mattress top. You now have four points where they cross that can be used to restrain someone to. They are very easy to put on and you can buy some welded rings to loop the straps through at each crossing point to clip/tie things to.

    Regarding the headphones, you can blindfold someone and put on headphones playing white noise to intensify a session. If the sub has earplugs under the headphones the volume can be high enough that the sub hears nothing but white noise. With two senses gone, the other three will try to compensate so the slightest touch becomes more powerful, especially if the sub is left alone for an hour or two before hand.

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    chris1066 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm definitely more a sub. I've found in the past that trying to be dom isn't just not a turn on, but is actually a turn off for me. Unfortunately my OH is also very much a sub, so our BDSM games are left not going very far.

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Chris that sounds like a difficult situation! Must be hard to find a comprimise if you find being dominant a complete turn off, does she feel the same when it's her turn to dominate?

    Bunual that's a very good idea. My parter suggested nailing some loops to the wall to tie our restraints to, but I have a very nosy family so I'm sure when they come to visit they'd have something to say about it! Will have to start keeping a lock on our door, even in our own house ;)

    The whole headphones idea sounds very appealing to me, as I love being blindfolded and engaging in sensory play. I can just imagine that it's 10x more thrilling to feel your partners touch, however soft or hard, when you're least expecting it. Definitely one to discuss with my OH further down the line, if he's comfortable :)

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